song of a single mom

Song Of A Single Mom

In my room I sleep alone,: by choice and default; I am alone.
In my room I express my fears,: because it is only here that; I am alone, because I am really; not alone.
In my kitchen we eat our dinner,: how was your day, how was mine,; and always what will tomarrow bring.; Will we have time for each other again tomarrow?
In my living room we watch TV,: a cartoon, a movie,; what is appropriate for my son?; we also listen to music,; --Hispanic, Country, Rock-n-roll,; --watch him sing, watch him dance.; Will "I" be a good mom?
In my bathroom I bathe while he sleeps,: I find solitude here,; In my thoughts i go over the days necessities,; --how do i buy him a bike, a baseball glove,; --even a ball?; --Did I do right by keeping him, my miracle child?
In his bathroom he bathes,: splashing around, making bubbles,; practicing his boat fights, and duck wars.; I'm cold mommy, can I get out now?; Will I always be able to keep him warm?
In my room i dress for work.: pay the light bill, the phone bill,; rent, food, clothes for my son, toys,; Monny the ice cream man is coming!; Is he worth it all?
In his room he sleeps and plays,: pick up your toys son,; Mommy where do zebra stripes come from?; Why do chickens have feathers?; Where do I come from?; and where is daddy?; Do "I" have all the answers?
In his bed he lies ill,: my tummy hurts, he has a fever,; Will he be better tomarrow?; I give him medicine, he responds,; Mommy I'm hungry. How about a hamburger?; Thank you God for answering my prayers.; Would I have survived if he died?
On the phone i make my arrangements,: will you baby-sit for me?; I can't work tomarrow my son has a game,; the sink is plugged, my furnace blew,; I need a repairman, this costs too much,; Can and will I learn to do these things myself?
On the phone my son talks to his grandma,: Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas,; Happy Mothers Day, when are you coming; to visit, I love you grandma.; Will his "father" ever call him?
On the front sidewalk he learns to ride his bike,: go son go I'm right behind you,; he falls but gets right back on,; Mommy I need a Band-Aid, I dcraped my knee.; Will all his bumps and bruises be this easy; to handle?
In the back yard we throw the ball back and forth,: not too hard mommy, now it's too slow,; I think daddy would be better at this,; Im sorry mommy, you'll do just fine.; Will I find the strength to be his father too?
In the park we walk and play,: can i feed the ducks mommy?; Mommy who is that with that man with that little girl?; --That is her Daddy son.; --Where is my Daddy?; Mommy who is that man with that little boy?; --That's his Daddy son.; --Mommy where's my Daddy?; --Doesn't my Daddy Love me?
What do I tell my son now?
By surprise his father comes to visit,: Mommy daddy is here!; Throw me the ball daddy, give me a piggyback ride.; Mommy why is daddy leaving?; Doesn't daddy love me?; Yes he does son, but he has another child too.; Mommy you just hate him, why won't you let him stay?; I'm sorry mommy, I love you.
How will I ever tell my son how much i love his father: and how much i lost by losing him?
Will he ever know the truth?: If it weren't for his father, he would have never been born. I love him with all my heart and soul.
By day I work, by night i'm a mom,: Do i have all the answers to my questions?; Some are yes and some are no,; the rest are I'll do my best.
But what i do know is,: I wouldn't give up my son for the world, because like me, he's all I have.

Written by Susanna Sorensen〢pril 23, 1997