UPDATE

UPDATE TO OUR NIGHTMARE WITH CPS

On March 14 2000, we went to court for the first time to find out if we would get our children back from CPS. We were in court at 9am and the Judge listened to everything, then he said "in my opinion if that was all CPS has then they don't have a case" I thought at that point our children would be returned to us, But was I in for a surprise. That judge laid the case over for 1 week until the March 22, 2000. At this point we still hadn't seen our children since they were kidnapped by the CPS of North Carolina which was on March 9th,2000. On March 22nd we went to court again just to see another judge who laid the case over for 2 more weeks even though the orders that the judge from the first hearing had ordered CPS to have physiological evaluations done on our girls, it still had not been done. We got to see our children finally on the Friday March 31st 2000. We were so happy to finally get to see our children, when we seen them it was like and interrogation, our children wanted to know why "we had not told the judge what he wanted to hear?" I forgot to mention when we went to court on the 22 of March we had been offered a plea barge, if we would plead guilty to neglect for hitting our children, and slapping them in the face,ears,mouth then our children would have been able to come home that night. we of course said NO WAY, we swore to tell the truth and that would be a lie. Anyway to get back to the visit, our children (5,7,10) were asking why, at first I tried to change the subject as I do not feel that our children should be asking such question, they are the children not the parents. But after about an hour of all the questions I finally decided I would answer their question. I ask them if we had ever slapped them in the face, to which they all replied NO, I then ask them if we had ever slapped them in eyes, they all replied NO, I ask them if we had ever slapped in the ears they all once again said NO, So I then told them that I swore on a bible to tell the judge the truth and nothing but the truth so if I would have said that I plead guilty to those charges would that have been the truth ???? My oldest daughter said "that would be a lie mom" I said I know that is why we could not say "YES". Our son asked why the caseworkers wanted us to lie to get them back home, we told him we didn't know. But that we wanted them home more then anything, and we were doing everything we could, but we could not lie to the judge because if we did then we could go to jail. Our children said they didn't want us to go to jail so not to lie to the judge. I then took our youngest daughter to the bathroom, where she said "mommy if you tell the judge yes but you don't tell him its a lie then you won't go to jail" I ask her who had told her that she said she couldn't remember. So I explained to her that if you lie that is bad no matter if you get caught or not, I asked her if she remembered what she was taught in church, about where liars go? She said "liars go to the devil mommy" I said that's right so did she still want me to lie?? She said "NO mommy I dont want you to go to the devil" (I have all of this on tape as I tape all visits and meetings to protect myself and our family)Well our visit only got worse, our children informed us that our 2 oldest children were not being given their medications, our son is allergic to all pollens he has been tested for along with trees and grass, he is on allergy medication trying to avoid being put back on allergy shots. he also has asthma medication due to his allergies he was not being given either. Our oldest daughter was on medication to avoid sinus infections, and adenoid infection, due to a condition in her throat/mouth if she get an infection in her adenoids it could cause her to have reconstructive surgery, she was not being given her medication. Our children were told they "were medicine freaks, and that their mom and dad had not taught them to clean because they were messy betsy" then we have our 5 yr old whos hair had been burned and cut by the foster mothers 11 yr old son, our children were not allowed to take baths they were made to take showers, and the foster mother allowed her 11 yr old son to take my children on a 4 wheeler without an adult supervision. At this point I was getting very upset, this foster parent was doing or allowing to be done alot of the things we were being charged with doing as abuse/neglect yet she was not being punished. Our children felt like they were being made fun of and yet nobody was doing anything to protect them. Also our son had fallen out of a tree the day before and his foot was purple and swelled yet he had not been treated or even seen by a doctor, and our youngest daughter had not been taken to her doctor for her ear infection recheck, but yet once again nothing was being done to these people who are suppose to protect our children but were causing more abuse and neglect then we had ever thought of doing. Now we go back to court on April 5th 2000 to see yet another judge this being the 3rd, after hearing twisted and out right lies from not only CPS but my twin sister who lost all parental rights of her 2 boys years earlier, who we do not get along with who has been diagnosed with several Mental Disorders. It was our turn to prove we did not and could not have done what we were charged with, the judge threw everything out but our children being "in" not locked in the dog pen (which has not been used by dogs but 1 time almost 8 months before) and the fact that they had been tied together at the ankles (loosely) while pick up their mess/trash in the yard such as soda bottles,candy wrappers, popcorn bags, which we had never denied the fact that yes they had been inside the dog pen ( gates were open and unable to be locked and that was testified to by 1 of the caseworkers) but yet the judge adjudicated our children abused and neglected and we were ordered to have physiological evaluation for which we had to pay for ($1500) not to mention the time my husband missed from work to attend the sessions, and for me to go thru anger management. We were also told that the 18 wheeler that I co-own is not allowed to be parked in our yard where my co-owner sleeps in it when he is here in town, and that he (co-driver) is not allowed at our home when the children are here. We did as we were ordered and I started anger management, which I might add 3 different physiologist said I did not need that it was normal to have feeling of anger when something like this was happening to you. But CPS and the judge said I needed it so I did and still am doing it. Now it is May 3,2000 we go back to court to get the court order changed and have custody returned, well the judge did change one thing, our 18 wheeler is allowed at our home to be fixed and washed when our children are not here, but he would not allow our children to be returned home because our physiological evaluation were not totally finished (the last meeting was that Friday which only lasted 15 min) so he agreed with CPS and the GAL to continue for 2 weeks the date was to be May 17th 2000 stated right in the GAL's report. We also started family therapy, which was court ordered in the hearing on April 5, 2000 but CPS had not made any arrangements until this hearing, to start May 4th 2000. Well we thought this meant we would at least be able to spend more time with our children but we got another surprise. At this point we had gotten to see our children for a total of 8 hrs in like 8 weeks. We went to family therapy and got to see our children for that 1 hour and then we got to meet them at McDonalds for another 1 hour and 15 min. so I guess you could say we got to see them for an additional 15 mins. But the court order said 2 hours visitation and family therapy. So to us we were short 45 mins. The next day I called our lawyer but as usual he was not there so I spoke with his secretary and she said she would relay our concerns to our lawyer and have him call us. Well in all of this time we have only personally spoke to our lawyer in person at his office 1 time, in court 4 times and once at Department of Social service's, on the phone maybe 3 times. The rest of the times we have left messages, and talked to his secretary. This is a lawyer that we are paying out of own pockets. We have asked him to do several things but were told later,when we finally went to what was suppose to be trial, he stated "we don't want to make this a 2 day trial," so only call your witness that can best tell how things are. We had about 12 people there to testify. We had taken picture of the dog pen to prove it had no locks and that the one gate could not hardly be shut, we also had letters from people who have known us for years, some were from the church some were from school and some were just friends. But our lawyer would not even try to admit them into evidence, as we had told him to do, all of those thing put together would have at least shown the judge that some of the things CPS was saying could have in NO way ever happened. Well the 16th of May I called our lawyer again as I had for 3 days and asked what time was court the following day this was at 4:15pm I was told by his secretary "I thought you knew we didn't have court, the caseworker called me this morning some how the case didn't get put on the court calendar" at this point I was upset and very angry, My children had been told by the caseworker they were coming home on the 17th for 2 weeks, our children had been counting the days. And I could not believe a woman who I had talked to the day before and faxed my Physiological evaluation to so our lawyer would have it for court on the 17th, would have ever thought that I didn't know we were not going to have court. I went off the deep end, and I cussed her out, and told her if our lawyer would have done his job or at least called us back, maybe he would have known. I also told her I wanted it put on the calendar, ASAP. I told her to have our lawyer file for an emergency hearing, she said she would talk to him and have him call us back well at 4:45 pm I tried to call them back to see if they had gotten anything done but of course they were gone. So first thing the next morning I started making phone calls to everyone, trying to find out how it could be put on the calendar I was told they couldn't do anything. I wanted to know how when CPS and the GAL had ask for a 2 week continuance and specified a date, could it have been forgotten. I was told by the court room reporter/clerk of courts that the judge never said continued, he stated when all of the paperwork got done. That is not what was said but I can't prove it because the clerk of court will not allow me to have a copy of the court room tapes, without a court order, but I can't file it that my lawyer has to. Which he won't we have asked he to do so already. At this point we still have not been able to get in touch with our lawyer but the mail comes and we get a letter from our lawyer stating he has filed for a hearing the 7th of June,2000. That is only another 3 weeks away, which mean we as a family miss our vacation to Orlando,FL for 7 days which was to include going to Disney World, and Universal studios. Here it is the 17th and nobody has bothered to tell our children, so we make arrangement to tell them in family therapy, we got there before our children and I couldn't stop crying, our children get there an we take them in and tell them, our children are all upset and crying and our son say " I want to talk to that judge this is bull, its not fair Ms.K said we were going to be able to come home" our daughters can't stop crying, they don't understand how or why they can't come home everything was done like they said. We finally get them calmed down, and its time to go, we get to meet them at Burger King this time, we are all still upset. But we tried to make the best of what little time we have (about 45 mins.) When its time for them to leave our kids all start crying, the youngest one has to be pulled away from me, because she wouldn't let go of my leg. We know it will be another week before we can see our children again. I do anything and everything to keep my mind off things but no matter what I can't avoid thinking about where my kids are because we know every weekend the go to a tempary foster home, and Sunday is Mother's day. I stayed up all night hoping I could sleep threw Mother's Day. But at 9 am the phone rang it was the foster mother who was keeping our children, I was shocked but very happy because I got to talk to my children. Then the foster mother told me I could call back later and talk to the kids if I wanted after 3 or 4pm. I was so happy I couldn't go back to sleep. I counted the hours down. I called them back and talked to them and they talked to their dad also. It was a very good talk, they liked where they were staying, and were going to get to go swimming again. We ended the talk so they could go play. I felt alot better knowing that they were someplace that actually cared about them instead of like the 1st placement they had been in. During the week we know they are taken care of very well, they stay with their cheerleading coach and she and her family love our children just as if they were their own. Well we went to family therapy again this last Thursday only to find out that every Monday our children are missing about 2 hours of school, because Ms.K does not pick them up until 7:30am and it is about 1 1/2 hour drive to their school. Our son was upset because he is going to miss his ice cream party on Monday. We also found out that our son missed his dentist appointment. But once again nothing is being done about it. For the total K.C. has missed 1 doctor appointment, had her hair burned and cut, been called names and threatened, K.J. has not been given her medicine, got pink eye, and a wheeze in her lung, and B has missed 2 phycological appointments, 1 dentist appointment, 1 doctors appointment for his ADHD medicine refills, was not given his allergy or asthma medications and has had his foot hurt where it swelled up and turned purple. All 3 children have been lied to by the caseworkers. They have been in 3 foster homes, stayed at their aunts for 1 night and stayed with their cheerleading coach/family friend. Attended their school,missed at least 7 days of school then transferred to another school and then back to their school. All of this while in the custody and care of the system that is suppose to be interested in "what's in the children's best interest." We have been told that after they get out of school at the end of May they may be going to the foster home that they stay in on the weekends. Nothing like taking children away from everything and everyone that they know, placing them in a strange home, then placing them in a school that they have no friends or family in. Then move them again and again, tell them they are going to go home and bring their hopes up only to have them crash down on them again and again. Then keep them long enough so they miss their vacations. And wonder why they act out and become angry. I forgot to mention that our youngest daughter(5 yrs old)was also suspended from school for 3 days also while in the care of CPS. Really good track record for having the best interest of the children in mind huh???????? Do you think the state makes a better parent for our children? Our children want to come home and we want them home, at least then they would make their doctors appointments and be given their medications, not to mention be where they have, will and do belong with family that loves them dearly. They will be here at home where all of their personal belongs such as their beds, their clothing, and most important to them next to their parents are their toys, bike, and games. They miss their friends and being on their own turf. They all keep asking us if their swimming pool is ready for them to go swimming in, we tell them yes it is here waiting for them. All of their friends miss them as well everyone in the neighbor hood says its just not the same without my children here, they were all so happy and loved to play with the neighbor kids. At times we would have at least 8 and sometimes even more children here at our home, playing on our trampoline and in the summer in the swimming pool, we would have kids in the house playing Nintendo or play station, or in the girls bedroom playing house with their kitchen set and the Barbie's also. Sometimes they would all just want to watch a Disney movie as my children have almost every one every made. The neighbor kids told our kids they had alot more stuff then they did, like a to.v. in every room of the house except the bathrooms, and video games(all except for DVD) and our son has a 286 computer in his room with all kinds of games. They also can use the 486 computer that has their jump start programs on it. When the go-kart is fixed they all take turns riding it (except the little ones an adult always rides them) and we have enough bikes around here for almost every kids in the neighbor hood. So we dont have many fights over no one having a bike to ride.(not usually but always exceptions). Our kids really want to be Home for the 4 th of July, because they know we always have a great big cook out and we set off alot of fireworks, almost all of the neighbors come down, and alot of family friends. Not to mention the sparklers, that's a job in itself, getting sparklers to all of the kids before the first one burns out.... but their favorite part of the whole night I believe is the campfire to roast the hotdogs and marsh mellows so they can have smores.(last New Years Eve we used half of a big box of heresy chocolate bars and 4 bags of marsh mellows not to mention the 2 boxes of graham crackers) The kids all had a great time which made it all the more fun for the adults. I can't wait to see the children all have fun again this year, because we are going to have alot more fireworks to celebrate being a whole family again.

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