Attempting to make one Retreat
Before he comes too near,
Vicious Arrows of Self-Defeat,
The trickle of a tear.
My heart contracts in bitter Pain,
The spirit starts to grieve,
For this fulfilling life I feign,
The dream to which I cleave.
Searching for solace in a kiss,
To block the pain from sight-
To feel the power of pure Bliss,
Before I run in fright.
Of this poor maiden you may ask:
'If you so choose to do,
Why do you hide behind a mask,
If this pursuit you rue?'
Pondering thoughts as these I sigh,
For logic does not suit.
Futile attempts to explain why
Make the point become moot.
Suffice it to say that I try
To push away the Man.
Keeping expectations too high,
That was always the plan.
So here in this solemn tower,
I curse my lonely life.
While happiness is in my power,
Bitterness wields the knife.
'The Maiden Afraid to Love' and
'She Too Afraid to Care,'
How I am known across the land,
The titles which I wear.
And though I wish to end the fear,
I think the task too great.
In the distance, I think I hear
The Iron Tread of Fate.
Dare I continue this torment
And take others along?
Or summon the strength to repent,
Learn to sing a new song?
If you think my case is hopeless,
I beg you look again,
For my resolve is reckless,
Direction it must gain.
But I must end this confusion,
Before tiresome it grows.
Life is merely an illusion,
The Tapestry one sews.
The answer shall appear in time
As man tests my resolve.
He will seek reason to my rhyme,
The puzzle which to solve.
He might weave his way to my heart
And my fear to banish,
Cause my illusions to depart
And my pain to vanish.
In hopes of this day shall I wait
And if it shall arrive,
The yearning of soul shall it sate,
And make me come Alive.