Ellen has a joke for you.
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Airs Every Wednesday at the new time of 9.30 p.m. on ABC in the U.S.
Many thanks to Nancy L. Valenti for providing the material up until now for me. Beginning the week of December 18th, Adriane Goff will be reviewing the episodes for me :) Also, dont't forget to visit her new page on the net when you get a chance! It's great!
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ELLEN
The Big News: It's mid-30s crisis time for Ellen (Ellen DeGeneres)
when her parents go through a surprise split. She sells Buy the Book to
a
chain because she's tired of the responsibility of running the store and
decides to purchase her first house, a quest that could take all season.
"We'll focus on the trials and tribulations of house-buying," says
executive producer Vic Kaplan. What's worse, the angst is compounded
when her buddies Peter (Patrick Bristow) and Barrett (Jack Plotnick)
find their dream house.
Who's In: The store's new manager, and Ellen's new boss, Ed (The
Adventures of Brisco County Jr.'s Bruce Campbell), serves as a kind of
conservative foil for Ellen. He's married, has kids, and Kaplan
describes
him as "a younger Lou Grant." The conniving Joe (David Anthony
Higgins) has some issues with this guy. And Nancy Lenehan plays Ellen's
ditsy realtor, Margaret.
Who's Out: Paige's (Joely Fisher) fiancé Matt (Dan Gauthier) and his
bratty daughter Mia (Ebick Pizzadili), are long gone as she and Ellen's
cousin Spence (Jeremy Piven), the ne'er-do-well med student, continue
their heated affair.
Those Cute Openers: Celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck does a cooking
bit; Ellen clicks her heels with a flamenco dance troupe; and you might
catch the Captain and Tennille doing their '70s thing as well as Olympic
basketballer Lisa Leslie and tennis player Andre Agassi.
Taken from the TV Guide.
Thanks Nancy.
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Series4/Episode 14
"JOE'S KEPT SECRET"
On air Wednesday January 15 at 9.30pm on ABC (US)
Ellen accepts a favor from Joe's wealthy older girlfriend.
Adriane's Summary
Finally, Ellen gets her new home but she decides that something is missing and wants to add a nook. Her co-worker Joe helps her out by making a phone call to a lady who contracts some workers out to Ellen at a fair price. We found out though, this is no lady, it's Joe's well-to-do, older girlfriend who's been spoiling Joe by buying him extravagant expensive gifts! Ellen convinces Joe that he is a kept man and Joe decides to split up with her. Suddenly Ellen is left with a giant hole in the wall when the girlfriend makes the contractors move out! Ellen strikes up a friendship with Joe's ex and now Ellen is a kept woman! Ellen's whole lifestyle begins to change with going to ballet, dressing in expensive clothes and wearing jewelry...oh Ellen for shame! In the end, she tries to convice her friend that it isn't wealth that makes a friendship, rather it is the importance of companionship. Unfortunately, that's one thing this lady doesn't buy! In the end, Ellen is left wiser but with a huge hole in the wall! :) Florence Henderson guest stars.
COOL OPENINGS NOTE: Aaron Neville and Ellen sing the opening song together - well, sort of, Ellen sings about five notes!
Series4/Episode 13
"ALONE AGAIN - NATURALLY"
On air Wednesday January 8 at 9.30pm on ABC (US)
Ellen battles lonliness by doing fun things.
Adriane's Summary
Ellen makes her New Year's resolution to break away from her average life and do things that she's always wanted to do but just never could work up the ol' courage to do. First she goes to a fancy restaurant alone and makes dinner reservations for one only to find that the table is really for a party of seven! After many embarrassing moments with a violin player, getting an engagement ring in a cake that really belongs to someone else, and insulting one of the patrons, she decides maybe she should try somethng easier upon the advice of a nice bathroom attendant she meets at the restaurant. She ends up having a go at pottery making where a gentleman sitting next to her in the class starts coming on to her and leads to a funny send up of the scene from Ghost. In the end, with the help of her new friend, she discovers that everyone's life has meaning and she should not try so hard to make it exceedingly eventful because it already is... COOL OPENINGS NOTE: Jann Arden plays and sings the opening this week with Ellen backing her, sort of :) on the drums!
Repeat of Series4/Episode3
"SPLITSVILLE MAN"
On air Wednesday January 1 at 9.30pm on ABC (US)
Ellen's parents reveal to her that they intend to split up.
Repeat of Series4/Episode2
"A DEER HEAD FOR JOE"
On air Wednesday, December 25th [US] at the new time of 9.30pm
Buy the Book's new manager wants to fire Joe........
Series4/Episode12
"FLEAS NAVIDAD"
On air Wednesday, December 18th [US] at the new time of 9.30pm
Ellen bites off more than she can chew when she rescues an abandoned dog at Christmas time........
Adriane's Summary
In this delightful Christmas episode, Ellen and Page have planned a holiday getaway to Mexico but their furlow is preempted by Ellen's discovery of a dog that has been left abandoned outside the bookstore. Ellen becomes so attached to the little doggie, that she cancels the trip and sends Joe to join Page in her place! However, dogs are not allowed in Ellen's apartment so she has to keep the little pooch at the bookstore where co-worker Audrey has a severe allergy to animals. This leads to a hilarious scene where Audrey is so doped up on medication, she aimlessly throws tissues up into the air and has to be practically carried away from the register. In a bitter-sweet ending, Ellen gives up the dog when her father mistakingly thinks it his Christmas gift from Ellen. COOL OPENINGS NOTE: Soulful sounds from Jennifer Holliday with Ellen pretending to play organ along with her! Funny!
Repeat of Series4/Ep.1
"GIVE ME EQUITY OR GIVE ME DEATH"
On air Wednesday, December 11th [US] at the new time of 9.30pm
Ellen contemplates selling her beloved bookstore.......
Series4/Episode11
"BOWL BABY, BOWL"
On air Wednesday, December 4th [US] at the new time of 9.30pm
Ellen takes her boss bowling.......
Nancy's Summary
In Bowl, Baby, Bowl Ellen, Ed, Joe & Audrey go out for a friendly night of bowling with disastrous results. Ellen who hasn't bowled in years wins out over Ed the bookstore's manager. Ed, who used to be a high school and college athlete doesn't handle this too well and a fierce spirit of competition erupts between Ellen and Ed. Then Ellen & Ed decide to try their hand at pool and Ellen ends up losing the pool match to Ed which Ellen can't handle too well. The two of them finally agree to a bowling rematch and Ellen is at a crucial point in the game (the last ball to be rolled down the lane) one of Ed's young daughter's asks to roll the bowl. Ed tells her not now this is an important game and it is then that Ellen realizes the true spirit of competition and let's his daughter roll her last bowling ball only to have her win the game after all.
Myla's Summary
It’s not whether you win or lose it’s how you play the game.
(What kind of Paige does Spence really answer to?)
OPENING SCENE
(Ellen on a couch, drinking from a bottle of water, camera focused
solely on her)
OPENING CREDITS
E: "Jeremy and I are challenging ‘JAM ON THE GROOVE’
[ellen and jeremy do their imitation of breakdancing, only to be shown
how
it’s really done, they walk off the set in disgust (one guy actually
spins forever on his head!)]
Well, um, the first time I was with a man, then I was with a woman for a
little while, then I was with a man again, and then another man; and
then let’s see, woman, woman, (thinking), man, woman, and then, another
man. And y’know lately I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter if it’s
a man or a woman, y’know? It’s the person that counts. One thing I
know for sure, (as the camera backs up to a wider shot of elly and the
whole room, she’s talking to someone). I can’t keep going from
therapist to therapist. The audience is busting up with laughter. Truth
is there’s a very serious message here underneath the comedy, "It’s the
person that counts." Well done Elly.
Spence is back in medical school, "Our very own poor man’s George
Clooney" quips Elly. He and Paige have a hard time making time to see
one another, his residency is keeping him at the hospital for double and
triple shifts, she’s having her own crises on the set of her latest
film, ‘Elevator 3’. Throughout the segment they try to meet up with
eachother for quality time, but every time they meet they both end up
getting paged and called back to their respective demanding jobs.
Ed gathers the whole Buy the Book crew (Elly, Audrey and Joe) to tell
them as a reward for their outstanding work they’re going to have
Bowling Night. We get a glimpse of the trouble a brewing when Ed boasts
he won tournaments and Ellen shares her nickname,
"Pretty-fair-bowlin’-Ellen’.
At the bowling alley, Bowling Night becomes a duel between Ellen (with
the fancy bowling style - including tossing the ball up and over her
head and back (where a startled Joe catches the ball, absolutely
hilarious); blow-drying her hair on the hand blower and doing a
hilarious "ritual" before each ball is thrown) and serious, determined
Ed with his ball, "Rolling Thunder." Tension mounts as Elly goes for
her last throw with "Swirlie Purple Ball" and has two words for Ed as
she wins the match: "Steeee Rike!"
The next morning it’s obvious Ed is a poor loser (of course Ellen says
the secret to bowling is to be "at one with the ball.") Spence comes in
to Buy the Book only to get paged minutes later. He asks Elly to remind
him why he’s gotten back into medicine (this after a 36 hour stretch)
and Elly tells him the reason is "because hanging around on my couch and
painting Paige’s toenails is not a career." Ed then challenges Elly to
a game of pool in a classic western "showdown" (complete with the music)
sequence and she takes his dare, they’ll be playing Sunday night when
she goes to his house for dinner.
In Ed’s pool room/den, Ellen takes the opportunity to stir Ed about his
wall hangings: "Tortoises, exciting hunt, boy, once their out in the
wild… Right next to the dead fish, what did you do, consult Endangered
Species Digest (for decorating tips)?" As she faces the other side of
the pool table, she looks up into the face of yet another stuffed
animal, this time, a deer. "I work with your brother," she tells him,
"very quiet"… the audience you can tell is busting up in tears of
laughter. "Nothing says come sit, have a brandy like slaughtered
animals.." Ellen half-seriously half-jokingly tells Ed. Ed ends up
winning the game of pool, but the dares don’t stop there.
Everyone ends up back at the bowling alley, where Ed’s daughter Emily
bowls Ellen’s final shot and wins the game for Ellen - who reminds
everyone "it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game."
You can tell the rivalry between Ellen and Ed is far from over (as they
end up running off for a challenge of pinball at the bowling alley).
The ending scene during the ending credits shows Paige and Spence
finally "connecting" --- Paige tells him the only Paige he’ll be
answering to is "this one."
[Guest starring Mary Page Keller as Sarah]
Series4/Episode10
"KISS MY BUM"
On air Wednesday, November 27th [US]
Ellen unwittingly invites a homeless man to Thanksgiving dinner......
Nancy's Summary
In an effort to show Ed (the bookstore's new manager) that she too has a giving side, Ellen volunteers one Sunday at a homeless shelter that Ed helps out at every Sunday. When Ellen meets someone else helping out at the shelter she makes the assumption that he too is "just helping out" and invites him over for Thanksgiving dinner at her place. During dinner Ellen invites everyone to take a moment and say what they are thankful for and after a long discourse about her new house and her several disc changer cd, they find out that Ellen's new friend is homeless, which immediately makes Ellen and everyone else with the exception of Joe uncomfortable. So everyone eventually ends up in Ellen's hallway instead of at the dinner table and Ellen's guest finally leaves because they can't deal with the fact he's homeless. Ellen then feels guilty and goes down to the shelter to find him and apologizes.
Series4/Episode9
"THE PREGNANCY TEST"
On air Wednesday, November 20th [US]
A home pregnancy test leads Ellen, Paige, and Audrey to rethink their lives..
Nancy's Summary
In this week's episode, Paige tells Audrey and Ellen that she thinks she might be pregnant and they all agree to take a home pregnancy test to help ease Paige's fear. However, Spence crashes "girls night in" before they can see the test results and they spend awhile trying to get him to leave so they check the results . The results are that one of the three tests is positive ... so Paige is forced to tell Spence the news. It isn't long before Paige realizes she is not pregnant so Ellen assumes it must be Audrey and goes to a comedy club to find Audrey and give her the news. Only it isn't Audrey either and then Ellen for a brief moment believes she must be pregnant ... despite the fact that she isn't even in a relationship. In the end we find out that no one is pregnant and it was just a false reading because they waited too long to check the results.
Series4/Episode8
"NOT SO GREAT EXPECTATIONS"
On air Wednesday, November 13th [US]
Ellen follows her mom on a date to a country-western bar.
Trisha Yearwood guest stars.
Adriane's Summary
Ellen still dismayed over her parent’s split, agrees to accompany her mother to a dating service. When she meets the gentleman her mother has chosen to date, her curiosity about him builds and she attempts to discover some dirt on him. Paige accompanies Ellen back to the dating service in order to dig some evidence, however, they find that in order to view the video tape of this man (played by Lyle Wagoner) she must become a member! Uncomfortable with this but led by curiosity, Ellen trades clothes with Paige, applies make-up and boofs up the ol’ hair to make her own video! This leads to a hilarious scene where Ellen is wearing a low cut blouse and pursing her lips while describing what kind of man she’s into! She follows her mother and her date to a country/western bar where Trisha Yearwood is performing. The episode ends with Ellen’s mother confiding that she is enjoying dating and that Ellen must ultimately accept that she and her father are no longer together...
COOL OPENINGS NOTE: The musical group Devo performs Ellen’s opening in their classic yellow outfits!
Series4/Episode7
"HAROLD AND ELLEN"
On air Wednesday, November6th [US]
Ellen tries to bond with her father and Joe goes to New Mexico in search of aliens.
Nancy's Summary
When Ellen's dad asks her to spend some time with him she initially makes up an excuse and heads back to the bookstore with Paige, however it isn't long before she feels guilty and is overcome by an urge to take care of her dad who hurt his back. When she doesn't find her dad answering the door her imagination goes into overdrive and she climbs a ladder to the second floor of her parents house where she discovers her dad taking the Tegrin shampoo challenge and playing with an old blow horn he got from the Coast Guard. Unfortunately he demonstrates the horn while Ellen is perched atop the ladder and in a hilarious scene Ellen falls off the ladder to the ground below. We then find Ellen in a neck brace and her dad hunched over with a bad back at Ellen's place where Ellen secretly calls her mother and requests help with taking care of her father. However, nothing she does seems to work and she ends up fighting with her dad and he leaves. They end up making amends at a coffee shop over pie and coffee and Ellen's dad tells her the story of when she was born which he calls "The Night I Had the Best Damn Apple Pie I Ever Tasted" and Ellen learns to bond with her dad.
Series4/Episode6
"THE BUBBLEGUM INCIDENT"
On air Wednesday, October 30th [US]
Paige and Ellen attend their 25th camp reunion where Paige plots revenge for a childhood prank that Ellen was secretly behind.
Nancy's Summary
Despite the fact that it happened over 25 years ago, Paige sees a 25 year summer camp reunion as the perfect opportunity to get back at Megan O'Connor (a fellow camper) for putting gum in her hair one night while she was sleeping. What she doesn't know is that Ellen was responsible for the humiliating prank that ultimately led up to the two of them becoming best friends. At first Ellen refuses to attend the reunion knowing that Paige is hellbent on revenge and then changes her mind when she hears that Megan O'Connor can't be located and so probably won't be attending. So the two of them go up to Camp Pine Ridge and much to Ellen's surprise not only is Megan O'Connor at the reunion ... Ellen discovers that she is a nun. Ellen thinks that this new information will prevent Paige from acting out her revenge but Paige is undeterred. Ultimately, Ellen is forced to tell Paige the awful truth that she was behind the prank and the 25 year coverup. I thought this episode it was touching and it is nice to see a more sensitive side to Ellen Morgan though it was a little light on the humor this week.
Series4/Episode5
"LOOKING OUT FOR NO. ONE"
On air Wednesday, October 23rd, 8pm, ABC (US)
Ellen is dumbstruck when she views her therapist in a shocking position.
Nancy's Summary
In this episode , Ellen has a new therapist who encourages her to be more honest and direct in her dealings with others in order to develop more self-confidence. The therapist advises Ellen that she should ramble less and not be afraid of what others think . Ellen thinks highly of her new therapist and all is well until Ellen & Audrey spot a well-to-do female relieving herself in a restaurant parking lot. The woman in the parking lot turns out to be Ellen's new therapist and the gang makes light of the situation the remainder of the evening. Ellen suddenly finds it difficult to continue therapy in light of this and fails to attend the next two of her sessions telling her therapist that Paige has been struck by lightning. When Ellen's therapist shows up at the bookstore to talk to Ellen and to use the restroom . Ellen decides to be up front with her therapist and tell her the real reason she has been skipping therapy with disastrous consequences. This was an extremely funny episode despite the weird plot and the opening title sequence is not to be missed..
Series4/Episode4
"THE PARENT TRAP"
On air Wednesday, October 16th, 8pm, ABC (US)
Ellen tries to reunite her parents by re-creating their honeymoon..
Nancy's Summary
This episode continued with the last episode's theme of Ellen's parents separating. Ellen & her parents have agreed to go to therapy and Ellen arrives early at the therapists office to plead with him to try and help her parents find their feelings for each other again. When this proves unsuccessful Ellen's therapist suggests that she come to terms with the separation. However, Ellen is reluctant to do that and instead opts to try and recreate her parents Cuban honeymoon in her apartment complete with Eddie Fisher as a lounge singer. However it has no effect on her parent's decision and Ellen is ultimately forced to come to grips with the reality of her parents separation.
Series4/Episode3
"SPLITSVILLE MAN"
On air Wednesday, October 2nd at 8pm on ABC (US)
Ellen's parents reveal to her that they intend to split up.
Nancy's Summary
Despite the fact that this show covered some serious subject matter - the separation of Ellen's parents- this was both one funny and yet very touching episode. The opening title sequence featured Ellen in 70's attire dancing to a Captain & Tenille rendition of the Ellen theme song. The episode opens with Ellen rehearsing a toast & speech for her father's retirement party. We then get a look inside Ellen's future home when she invites her parents over to see the place she wants to buy and to surprise them with a cross-country train trip as a retirement gift. It is at this point that Ellen's parents break the news of their separation. Ellen shows up late to work so distraught over the news that she speaks some unintelligible language which can only be interpreted by Ed (who has young children). At shows end we find Ellen hanging out in the O of the Hollywood sign playing harmonica and singing the blues.
Series4/Episode2
"A DEER HEAD FOR JOE"
On air Wednesday, September 25th at 8pm on ABC (US)
"Buy the Book's" new manager wants to fire Joe.
Nancy's Summary
In this episode, we are introduced to the new supervisor, Ed Bilek at "Buy the Book". Ed is a handsome and likable family oriented guy whose only bad trait is he enjoys hunting and brings his prized deer head into the office he shares with Ellen. He immediately finds Joe's attitude, tardiness, and slovenly appearance not to his liking and targets him for termination though not without giving Ellen two days to try and change Joe's bad habits. Joe shows up for work late the next day and is fired. Ellen feels guilty about selling the bookstore and hires Joe back but Ed just fires him again the next day. Finally, Ellen formulates a plot to get Joe's job back. She kidnaps Ed's Deer head and holds it for ransom in her apartment. Joe is hired back only after Ellen threatens to quit if he isn't allowed to come back.
Series 4/Episode 1
"GIVE ME EQUITY-OR GIVE ME DEATH"
On Air Wednesday, September 18th at 8pm on ABC (U.S)
Ellen is inspired to buy a home of her own, but is unprepared for the price.....the cost of her beloved bookstore! Enjoy America.
Nancy's Summary
In the season premiere, we find Ellen longing to trade apartment living for a home of her own. Ellen comes to this decision after being invited to a house warming party by Peter & Barrett to celebrate their purchase of a new house together. It isn't long before the overzealous Peter has their realtor knocking on Ellen's door armed with a slide projector and slides of homes for sale in the L.A. area. She finds a small home located on a cul-de-sac to her liking and decides it's time to grow up, move out, and start her own herb garden. She realizes that she will have to sell her bookstore to make the purchase and it just so happens that two hippie bookstore investors (Tom & Larry) have their eyes on Buy the Book. The show closes with her and Spence, serving as her legal counsel, negotiating a deal with Tom & Larry for the sale of Buy the Book.
Who has the perfect smile,
Who has the comical style,
Who likes to hang out with her friends,
Who, who, who, Ellen.
There's Spence & Paige & Audrey & Joe,
They're her friends on every show,
They visit her at her bookstore,
She lives in an appartment.
Who has the perfect smile,
Who has the comical style,
Who likes to hang out with her friends,
Who, who, who Ellen,
Who likes to hang out with her friends,
Who, who, who Ellen,
Ellen you
crazy gal!
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