So many people love dolphins. They are cute. They're cool. But no one really knows what goes through a dolphin's mind. I do. I spoke to one. You might wonder how I was able to speak to one, but don't be fooled. They all know the language. In fact, they invented it. Today, they no longer speak using words. They use high-pitched musical notes because music is "much more civilized." They do, however, remember the language they created oh so many years ago.

Dolphins were the first beings to evolve to greatness on the earth. And once this happened, they moved off the land and into the sea. Food is more plentiful in the sea, and it covers two-thirds of the planet's surface. Of course they would want to live there. It is a place of enlightenment. This explains "the love of the sea" that so many sailors have. They know. The dolphins are higher beings and with their move to the sea, they agreed to give up the material pleasures of the world. They have no possessions and share everything. The dolphins are the only known proof that Communism can succeed. Human beings just don't have the mental and social capabilities to do it correctly. They even have no need for clothing. Dolphins used to wear clothes, but they are above them now. They no longer look upon each other with lust. They mate when necessary, and do not give into carnal desires.

As a collective, the dolphins decided to move away from the rest of God's creatures. That is why they do everything together. They swim together, attack sharks together, eat together, and mock humans together. This is why they swin up next to divers. Not to have fun, but to mock us. They are like one big family. However, there are occassionally "black sheep" in this family. We've all seen these black sheep in places like Sea World or movies like Flipper. These are the select few who do not agree with the dolphin's decision to distance themselves from the rest of the world.

Or, maybe they are just the ones with that showbusiness bug. You know, like Charlie Sheen. These jump through hoops, play with balls, and work for fish. They have that need for the spotlight which the structured dolphin society will not allow them. So they come to us. To live among us. These are the few that we can trust for they are outcasts from the full dolphin society. They are forever marked. They are who we will need to turn to when the others come. The day they decide to take back their planet...

SOME DOLPHIN BOOKS

Bottlenose Dolphins (Worldlife Library) by Paul Thompson, Ben Wilson. Dolphins of the World by Ben Wilson. The Book of Dolphins by Mark Carwardine, David Bellamy. Dolphins by Chris Catton.