DID MIDGETS REALLY BUILD STONEHENGE?
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To most people, this one word means mystery. How did this great ring of stones find their way
into Great Britain? Did they just appear there?
Are they just some freak creation of wind and the earth's magnetic field?
Did druids, aliens,
or whales erect this great monument on the earth?
Or did some other primal force of nature cause its formation?
This, like many other mysteries of the world has been pondered over for decades.
Scientists and archeologists have studied the ring formation to no avail. For most, it is still a
mystery, until now.
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Like many other wonders of the world, it has been immortalized in literature, song, and film.
Who hasn't seen the scene in European Vacation when the Grizzwolds knock down the entire ring?
Or who among us hasn't been caught humming the first few bars to Spinal Tap's hit,
"Stonehenge?" However, what Spinal Tap probably never realized is that they showed the world exactly how
Stonehenge was formed when they performed their song live. Even though they were mocked for having a midget
dance around their model of stone, they were actually showing an ancient ritual dance of the midgets.
You see, many years ago, the midgets erected Stonehenge. |
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Being so small, the midgets were always considered to be lesser life forms, slow and weak.
No one thought of them as "real" men. In fact, they were considered no better than children.
Of course, the midgets knew how wrong the general populace was in their assumption. As everyone in
the world knows, a midget should not be underestimated. They are naturally stronger and tougher than
the average man, and they also have a greater
immunity to most diseases as well. However, in those days, men weren't as schooled or observant as they
are today, so they didn't see the midgets for the men they actually were. Even though one of the greatest
stories of the day was "The Midget and the Twenty-Seven Giants, Three Dragons, and Twelve Ogres,"
everyone dismissed it as myth and exaggeration. If only they knew how wrong they were.
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Finally, one midget had a dream. A dream that would finally prove to the world exactly what midgets could
accomplish. So, under the leadership of who is only known as The Great Midget
(and NO he isn't any taller than the rest of them), they began to formulate their plan.
Together as one, the midgets of the land began construction of Stonehenge. It was an incredible sight to
behold: lone midgets carrying huge chunks of stone on their backs, breaking it with only their bear hands
and their incredible will. The townspeople of England traveled far and wide to see these "strong midgets."
Soon, stories of their power spread across the land. The Great Midget became a hero to short people everywhere.
And that famous warning, "Don't f@#k with a midget" was born.
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Construction lasted many months as these midgets sweated and toiled day and night.
None would take a rest until their task was done. Each cut of stone was a work of art, and
each placement in the great ring was special. They worked as teams and alone as no ordinary group of
men could ever do. Together, they created what could only be described as a ladder of midgets, and
passed the great stones from one pair of weathered hands to the next, perfectly placing the stones on
top of the ones beneath them.
Only one injury was ever encountered during construction. Once, during the placement of one of the
upper stones, a midget's thumb was caught between the two rocks, causing his fingernail to turn black,
giving rise to - "Stonehenge Fingernail." Besides for this, no real problems were encountered. At first,
there was some name calling by the unbelieving "normal" men, but these soon ended as the greatness of the
midgets became apparent. Of course, the few beatings they had to give to the unbelievers also contributed
to the ending of the name calling.
And when it was over, they had created a monument for midgets everywhere. For most people, it is just
another wonder of the world. For midgets, Stonehenge is a symbol of their power, and an everlasting source
of pride.
LINKS
Build Your Own Stonehenge | The Complete Stonehenge | Mystic Places: Stonehenge
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