(Well, you clicked on the stupid link didn't you?)
Read on, remember, I didn't write these, they were sent to me.
If you're offended,then fuck you, but you shouldn't have clicked on the damn link then, Fool!
Enough with the Shit, onto the funny stuff...
What's the difference between an intelligent man and a U.F.O.?
I don't know, I've never seen either one.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
I went to the County Fair. They had one of those "Believe it or not?"
Shows. They had a man born with a penis and a brain.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll last.
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
Why did god create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.
Why do men love computers?
No matter what mood they're in, they can still get a floppy in.
What do you call the useless bit of fatty tissue at the end of a penis?
A man:)
What's the difference between a woman and a computer??
Answer: A woman would never accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy!! Hee hee hee! ;-)
Answer2: You only have to punch the data into a computer once.
Answer3: A Computer will go down on you without dinner and a movie.
You can not put a 3.5" floppy in a woman
...and a computer can't turn a 3.5" floppy into a hard drive in a matter of seconds...
Q. How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Four. One to actually change it, and 3 friends to brag to about how he screwed it.
Q. How many men does it take to put a roll of toilet paper on the hanger?
A. No one knows... its never happened
Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What men know about women
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One...men will screw anything.
Q: What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.
Q: How can you tell a man's sexually exited?
A: He's breathing.
Q: What do men and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares!
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know... It's never happened.
Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
A: Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
Q: What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A: E.T. phoned home.
Q: What does a man consider a 7 course meal?
A: A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Q: What do men and linoleum have in common?
A: If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them.
Men are living proof that women can take a joke.
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