Ashley passed by the guard, and entered the train, walking down to where there were two benches placed across from each other. It wasn't that large a car, and it was filled with a very interesting group of individuals. Trying not to stare, Ashley sat down alone in a corner.
She was staring down at her feet when she heard a deep voice, a rather appealing voice in her opinion, speak out to her from across the way. "What's your name, darlin'? All alone on this journey?"
"Ashley" she replied, head still down "and yes, I am." A bit of defiance entered her tone at that, her eyes rising to meet the man speaking to her as he continued.
"A young girl like you, Pookie, should be careful in these parts." said the gentleman sitting opposite to her. He was dressed in white, but on closer inspection she realized what she had thought was paper from a distance was actually a very nice stylish suit. All white, even the tie ... except for the dark blackness of the frames on his glasses. "Some places are not good for you, Ash... how do you spell it? Ashl-e-i-g-h?"
"Ash-l-e-y" she responded, smiling shyly up at him. "Are you saying the guard would get me in trouble?"
"Not at all darlin'" came the quick response from the man, "she's not bad, she's actually quite good. But Ashley ..."
She looked up at that, and almost jumped to see those eyes staring at her from quite close, a small amused smile over his face as his voice lowered. "Just act like you know what you're doing, and pay no attention to what the rest of these folks say."
Ashley nodded gravely, for the first time looking truly around at her situation. Besides the Gentleman in White, there was an odd assortment of creatures around this little train car. Beside the man, on one side there sat a Goat, which really could not be considered an insult as it was a beautiful little creature, long curly brown coat shining, bright eyes peeking out almost shyly. Shyness that was still apparent even as she replied to the Gentleman in White with a joking tone "Hey, that's not fair. The rest of us are hella cool too!"
The Beetle, sitting on the other side of this Gentleman, looking for all the world like she was framing him with the Goat, like in a picture, smiled and nodded prettily. A pair of lemon and orange patterned wings, the pattern seeming to make out letters (she could make out an f and a w) were carefully settled back underneath the metallic sheen of her brown coat as she spoke up, quietly, as well. "Oh, he's just teasing us I'm sure."
The Horse, to the side, neighed in laughter at that. The Horse was, as the others were, beautiful specimens of their kind, a pale palomino of hide a white cream that complimented the shades of the man in white and a short golden mane. "Teasing us indeed. You'd never guess that this man was a menace when he wanted to be."
The Gentleman in White grinned at that. "As well you know, you who rides over my domain and takes care of it for me."
"You have domain here?" replied Ashley, confused. "I thought only Queens had that type of power here."
The Goat shook her head, bright eyes grinning with barely-suppressed humour. "He's a force unto himself though. They don't dare try and mess with him, he'd cut them down in a second."
The Gentleman in White shook his head, a small smirk crossing his face at that comment. "Oh, I'm not that bad pumpkin" he replied, addressing the Goat with that smile. "But Ashley, basically the Rules are that yes, you must be Queen." And the smile he gave this time was dangerous indeed.
Ashley shivered at that smile, just a little. For she was going to be a Queen, and this man didn't seem to obey the rules the others did. "Don't be afraid" spoke a little voice in her ear, "He's actually a complete sweetheart. Although I've never tasted his heart so I might be wrong"
Confused, Ashley looked around for the source of the voice and the pun. Even more confused when the Beetle spoke up and said the exact same words. "Oh, please. You're a wonderful person to those who deserve it" she replied quietly to the Gentleman in White, whose smile change to the older, very reassuring one she'd seen at first.
But the voice again spoke in her ear out of nowhere. "You might say he's a white knight. Or white at night ..."
Ashley groaned at the bad puns. "Do you have to joke so?" she asked curiously, looking around in vain for the source of the voice.
"Of course I do!" replied the voice, indignant. "Because I know you are a friend." the little voice went on. "a dear friend, and an old friend. And you won't hurt me, though I am an insect."
"What kind of insect?" Ashley inquired, "and where are you?"
"Why, right on your shoulder of course" responded that little voice. "Else, how would you hear me? I was travelling with the Goat but thought I'd come over and talk with you."
"Why me?" replied Ashley, trying to peer at her shoulder. There she saw, as if a magnifying glass or even more close to the truth, a bright spotlight had come on her shoulder, a small form sitting there. Smiling up at her, not seeming to mind the scrutiny, in fact seeming to be used to the spotlight.
"Because I know you from tales of old" replied the Gnat, as it was a Gnat, although that in this realm could never be considered a bad thing. "Many tales, including many of my own."
"You tell tales?" replied Ashley happily. "Can you tell me some of this realm?" For she thought, perhaps, this creature could help her on her way.
"But of course" replied the Gnat, looking around the room. The Gentleman in White was in a deep conversation with the three others in the car, and she began there. "To begin, the Gentleman in White is highly respected, especially for his changeable natures. The Horse and the Goat are his retainers, and the Beetle ... well, she flies to where she will. They all love her."
Ashley nodded, noticing the closeness among the group across from her, and then responded. "And you Gnat?"
"I am a story teller" said the Gnat, "what better choice for a creature that can fly everywhere, and be a fly on the wall?" Ashley nodded in agreement, though softly so as not to dislodge the little creature. "I stay in the Gentleman's domain to write, and then I'm off again."
As the Gnat finished that statement, Ashley felt the train heave to a stop. The Beetle was the first to fly out the door, twittering happily to herself. The Gentleman in White was next, standing with a tug at his nice suit to smooth it out, and with a friendly smile and nod at Ashley walked out. The Horse and Goat were close behind, the Goat stopping to cast a look over her shoulder as if to say 'are you coming?'
"I've got to go" buzzed the Gnat, "stories to finish writing."
"But wait!" cried Ashley, "can't you tell me where to go? I need to get to the Eighth Square!"
As the Gnat flew away, the faint voice called back. "Follow the path through the woods!"
Ashley got off the train just in time, it lurched to movement again and began going backwards over the hill as she did. When she got off the train though, none of her earlier companions were in sight. However, the path that the Gnat talked about was there, a path through the most full and thick forest she'd seen in this place yet. A path that she followed on its winding way through the darkness of the trees.
It was very quiet, and lonely on this path, so when Ashley first saw the movement off to the side, she had to stop. There, half hidden behind a tree, stood a small Fawn, coat a golden colour that seemed smooth and flowing. She looked at Ashley with large, gentle eyes, but of Ashley she didn't seem that frightened.
"What do you call yourself?" asked Ashley, trying to step closer without alarming the Fawn.
"I don't remember" replied the Fawn, puzzled. "L, I know it begins with L!"
"Do you remember anything?" inquired Ashley with concern.
"Of course I do" responded the Fawn, stepping a bit closer. "This is the Forest of the Third Square. It's where the Tweedles live."
"The Tweedles" mused Ashley, half in a daze, "perhaps they could help me get to the Eighth Square. Can you show me where they are?" The Fawn hesitated for a long while, so that Ashley actually had to interrupt the silence. "Are you afraid of them?" she asked in wonder.
"Oh, no, they're not bad" replied the Fawn, "It's just ..."
"Just what?" answered Ashley, prompting the conversation as well as she could.
"I'm a bit timid" finally came the response, in the soft sweet voice the Fawn had "and well, they're so ... impressive. Amazing."
"You like them, respect them" responded Ashley in sudden understanding "and because of that have trouble approaching them?"
The Fawn nodded "Especially the one. I'm better when there are others around to push me towards them though."
"Well then" Ashley declared decisively, "you come along with me and show me the way, and we'll both help each other out."
So Ashley and the Fawn continued on and on, a long way, following the two signs in front of her. One said "U.K. TweedleClive's House" and the other "U.S. TweedleDrew's House". At the sign of these signs however, the Fawn stiffened, and cried out "I'm sorry, I can't. Not without everyone else" and darted off into the woods.
Ashley stared off into the forest, trying in vain to see where the Fawn went to call her back, but she had no luck. So again, she looked up at the signs, considering. "Well I can't stay long" thought Ashley to herself "but if these places seem to be the same house, I can just visit, say hi, and get directions from them!" Proud of herself she continued along the road. She wandered along, rambling both in steps and words to herself as she went, until, on turning a sharp corner, she came across a weird scene.
The house was built quite open, one side a framework of red and black, the other of a more marbelled pattern of a gold and black. Behind them, a wall marked a separation between them. The most distinguishable characteristics of this house however were the two desks, in which sat two suited men. Their appearance so surprised her that she jumped back a little, but recovered quickly.
"I've never seen anyone look so shell-shocked in my life" spoke the first, with union jacks embroidered on his tie, so she figured he had to be TweedleClive.
"That may be true, but she gets points for the shorts" came the chuckle from the other, him having stars and stripes on his tie, identifying him as TweedleDrew.
Ashley blushed at both comments, but stood her ground. "Excuse me sirs" she began, head ducked, "but I'm dreadfully lost and am looking to get to the Eighth square before it gets dark!"
She wasn't aware she was completely staring at them still until Clive spoke up again "Are you quite okay young lady?" he asked, getting up from his desk.
"Indeed" countered Drew, "are you not alright girl?" He also got up, and as he moved, she swore she noticed a bit of movement from the forest. What looked like the Fawn for a second, but was gone so fast she couldn't respond to the scene.
"I'm fine" she responded "Could you perhaps tell me if this path leads to the Eighth Square?"
"Where are our manners!" responded Clive, looking at Drew, "we haven't had a show for her yet."
"She is our visitor, she should have a show" replied Drew, nodding sagely. "But who would host?"
"Excuse me?" replied Ashley, "if this is going to take long ..."
"Oh, we'll take turns" replied Clive, "won't that work well enough?"
"Agreed" answered Drew, sitting on his desk, "But what show should we have?"
"Well, what other show is worth coming to see than the Walrus and the Carpenter?" retorted Clive, sitting back in his chair.
"But ..." Ashley said, wanting to get going but also intrigued at the same time. Her objections cut off as at the same time the two Tweedle's clapped their hands, twice, and from behind two women walked. They looked at their respective Tweedles differently, the one who walked to Clive having her face half hidden behind a thick fall of dark black hair, but the mischievious glint in her eyes being that of interest and respect, but in a mutually amusing friendship. The woman who walked over to Drew watched with highly interested eyes though, getting a small leer from Drew himself, speaking of a different type of opinion from this girl as she walked up behind him and began to massage his shoulders.
"How are you Clive?" spoke his Aide, grinning widely.
"Oh well, well thank you. If you'd be a dear and go get the Walrus and the Carpenter for their show, I'm sure you could get a few points ahead."
"The points don't matter" retorted Drew "but if you" he continued, turning to his Aide still massaging his shoulders, "could go and do that too, it would be appreciated."
"Not a problem Clive" came the grinning retort from his Aide, who walked off cheerfully off into the woods, although at any sign of a shadow behind her she tended to jump, as if she thought someone was following her.
Drew's Aide smiled at him "Anything you say Drew" was her response, and she walked into the bush herself, but she couldn't help sneaking looks back at the Tweedles as she did.
When they left, the two Tweedles began to organize themselves behind their respective desks. They seemed to concentrated, looking down as they shuffled cards and organized things, that Ashley was loath to disturb them, even though her question was important. So silence reigned for a short time, until the two Aide's re-emerged from the Forest. This time there was actually someone following Clive's Aide, but she still kept peering out. There was someone following Drew's Aide too.
The two that followed the Aide's were animatedly conversing with each other as they did. The Walrus was the taller of the two, but in no ways intimidating. His pelt was a dark grey, but fading to a pale grey in a vee under his chin. That paler grey continued all the way up, except for some brown markings around his head, circle-like patterning running down his chin and in a wreath-like mark around the top of his head.
The Carpenter was dressed in a suit of brown, like wood. He wore a tie as well, but not a tie as the Tweedle's did, more like a ribbon of that same dark brown, tied in a small bow under his chin. The forelock of his black hair fell over his eyes in a way that gave him a mischievious cast, further shown by the animation in which he spoke with the Walrus. However, the only sign of his profession was the hammer which he carried, a hammer which seemed to be the subject of their conversation.
"You should call it Irving" said the Walrus, first words she was able to make out of their conversation.
"You really think so?" responded the Carpenter. "It might work ... ooooOOOOoooo!" The last comment was said as he turned his eyes upon Ashley, eyes looking up and down her form in its shorts and tshirts. She blushed, and at that he gave a grin so infectious that she couldn't help returning it. "Much better" he said with that grin still present, "you were looking far too glum before."
"And god forbid she do that" responded the Walrus with a wink. "You trying to claim none of that was true interest."
"Oh do be quiet" retorted the Carpenter, turning to the Walrus, "If it was up to you, what would you have done. Gone and done something rash, you would have, like kissing me on the lips or something."
The devilish look the Carpenter wore was more than matched by that in the Walrus' eyes, and she knew that her being there was completely out of their minds. "Sit back and enjoy the show" came a whisper from beside her, and she looked to see Clive's Aide give her a knowing wink.
"You'd be the type to want the sun to shine in the night you would" continued the Carpenter, "just like making things do the opposite of what they should."
"Well at least I don't sulk when everything goes the opposite" answered the Walrus.
"Hey, I pout quite prettily" responded the Carpenter with a laugh, doing just that. Engaging in what seemed to be a normal argument for him, a playful one for them both.
They began to walk side and side towards the stage, and the Walrus actually stumbled a bit as he got onto it. "You know" he began conversationally, "if we could convince them to clear this away, this would be a very grand place indeed."
"Do you suppose" asked the Carpenter, looking around "I mean, I did put a lot of work into making this. It's not like you can just get a couple of maids like these Aides in to sweep it out of the way and it'll all be cleared up and back to normal." He eased himself into a chair, and so did the Walrus. Both turning to look at the hosts. "Oh Tweedles, do come and play with us" he continued, "walk with us, or something. It isn't right to have only 2 people up here."
"Sorry" began TweedleClive, "we've got to host."
"Indeed" added TweedleDrew, "what would the show be without a host?"
"I suppose they are good to give us a hand" said the Walrus, "but I'd much prefer a pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, a game of four."
"Well, I guess it's not to be" replied the Carpenter, "we'll just have to be partners again. To S&M?"
The Walrus chuckled at that. "You know, it would be less dangerous to have it the other way."
In return, the Carpenter looked offended "M&S? Oh please! Danger is good for you." He placed the hammer down to look at the Walrus. "So, what should we do for the show? What time is it this time?"
"The time has come" the Walrus said, "To talk of many things L shoes and ships, sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings."
"Just wait a minute" grumbled the Carpenter "you're making no sense and moving too fast. There was a handful of good innuendos I could have popped into that statement."
"Popped?" replied the Walrus with a grin.
"Yes, popped." retorted the Carpenter, "and don't you go making any popped pants or split or such jokes at that."
"Very well, I won't" sighed the Walrus. "For a split second."
The Carpenter gave him a little shake of the head at that pun. "Oh, you're going to get it now!" was all he said, leaning back, but his eyes were more alert than ever. "Pray, do continue."
"Now if you're ready, we can begin" started the Walrus again. "Before you turn a little blue."
"Oh I know what's turning blue" interjected the Carpenter, "but it's surely not part of me. Must be your normal life again?" sending a pointed look his way.
The Walrus seemed to try and ignore him, continuing again, "So we're brought out here to play our tricks again for a wonderful audience"
"Tricks? That's more your department. Mine is treats." grinned the Carpenter, running his hand along the hammer he held with a grin.
"Treats? What, were you eating too much earlier?" retorted the Walrus.
"No, unless you consider ea..." began the Carpenter, before the TweedleDrew coughed and cut him off.
"What did you do that for?" cried TweedleClive, who seemed to be quite enjoying himself and quite comfortable.
"Aren't you afraid of the censor-beast?" responded TweedleDrew with a sigh, "it plagues me"
The Carpenter laughed at this and made an obscene gesture in the direction of the forest. "That's to the censor-beast. That's your problem US boy, not ours."
"Hey, don't you be mocking that now" responded the Walrus, "or we can get into some problems with the UK part ..."
At that the 4 of them, the Walrus, Carpenter, and the two Tweedles, began arguing. But not in the normal snipe fest and hostility you'd expect, but a very playful tone overlying it. Still, Ashley noticed Drew's Aide moving towards them, hands already preparing to begin to help get rid of any tension, and she felt the other Aide beside her.
"They always do this" the woman confided, tossing long thick black hair back over her shoulders, "So the show usually gets postponed. But it's all in fun, honest."
"I don't mean to be rude" answered Ashley, "but I really need ..."
"To get to the eighth square before dark" finished the Aide, "I know. That's why I didn't try and interrupt the show. If you let them get going, you get out of here quicker than you would if you tried to stop them."
Ashley thought that rather confusing but smiled and nodded anyway, and then smiled and nodded with true sincerity when the Aide, looking with amusement back to the contrasting voices, pointed down one of three paths in the opposite direction of where she had come from. Hearing the happily bantering chatter follow her down the path.
The woods began to be replaced slowly as she headed down the path away from the Tweedles. The forest and trees began to be replaced by shrubs and hedges. And not just any types of shrubs, but those marvelously trimmed ones that took on the shapes of different creatures. These were of weirdly varied shapes and sizes, even colours, which had no identifying marks except for the phrase "prop" written on a small sign in front of one.
She wandered her ways between the hedges and the shrubs, in their mazelike pattern, until she found, near the middle, a building. Or actually a building site, as behind the one house there was much more that seemed to be on the way to completion. However, it was deserted, except for one single solitary figure which was trotting in and out of the completed building. A small sheep.
"Excuse me?" Ashley called, trying to get the Sheep's attention. "Ms. Sheep?"
"I'm not a Sheep" replied a voice from in the building, irritably. "Can't you tell?"
"Well, pardon me for saying so" said Ashley hesitantly "But you do awfully look like one. So if you're not a sheep, what are you?"
"Call me Sheep if you must" replied the Sheep, "Mica is me but is not. just as I am a sheep and yet I am not."
"How can you be both?" inquired Ashley, leaning against one of the hedges.
"Genetics experiment" replied the Sheep, "It's a long st..." the Sheep's voice cut off as she looked in Ashley at alarm. "Please don't lean up against that!"
Ashley straightened immediately. "What's wrong?" she asked, looking behind her. But it was simply a normal hedge.
"I haven't gotten to shaping it yet and I don't want it crushed" replied the Sheep. "Everything has to be perfect."
"Perfect for what" asked Ashley, puzzled yet again, but looking around at the evident construction she knew something had to be up.
"It's like a ... theme park for lack of a better term" responded the Sheep with pride. "Or rather it will be. It's just a matter of getting all the help I need, and getting all the exhibits and things together."
"A theme park in the middle of nowhere?" responded Ashley, a bit incredulous.
"If I build it they will come" responded the Sheep with a mischievious grin. "We've got the right bait, or should I say baits, and everything."
"We?" responded Ashley, looking around, for indeed there seemed to be no one there other than her and the Sheep who smiled back at her happily.
"Oh, we get help from all the squares" she responded happily, "even from the most interesting of sources. You even are connected in your own way, even if you don't know it. The connection follows you around" And with that cryptic comment, the Sheep went back into the house, door slamming behind it in what seemed more like preoccupation than rudeness.
So Ashley continued to walk, wandering past what looked like more exhibits being built, until in the distance she noticed a wall. It looked like the same wall she had bypassed earlier that had edged the Tweedle's place. "Now how am I going to get out of here?" she wondered, her eyes travelling along the length of the wall. As they did, she saw a figure sitting on top of the wall, an oval figure.
Curious, she travelled towards it, and the oval-egg shape got larger and larger, and more and more human. When she got within a few yards of it, she saw that it indeed had eyes and a nose and a mouth and seemed to be clad in a blue blazer. When she came even closer, she saw clearly that it was Humpty Dumpty himself. He was sitting, with his legs crossed, on the top of the high and narrow wall, so marrow that Ashley wondered just how he could balance there. It didn't seem like it was very productive, or a place where he could produce much. In fact, as she stood there, she almost expected him to fall to one side or the other, into either Tweedle's property.
But he didn't fall, and that fact was so impressive to her that all Ashley could do was utter "Wow." A sound that got his complete attention, eyes focusing on her.
"A deep, cool wow. I always like to hear that when people are staring at me" remarked Humpty, tugging down at the blue blazer.
"Are you going to fall?" asked Ashley curiously, still unable to see how he managed it.
"Are you insinuating that I don't know what I'm doing?" replied Humpty, looking down at her. "Tell me your name and your business."
"My name is Ashley..." she began, only to be cut off.
"Very well Ashley. When suggestions are taken, they shall be taken from everyone but Ashley's group." Humpty said decisively, nodding. Ashley couldn't help the dejected look that crossed her face even if she didn't understand what he meant.
"Well then I'll just sit with no one and you can't stop anyone else." she retorted, chin high. "Sit all alone, like you do."
"Like I do? I doubt that child" replied Humpty with a grin. "You'd try and sit back and get comfortable and the moment you did the rules would change and bring you from your seat with a gasp, hand to chest."
His tone seemed more pleasant this time, so she returned to her earlier mood of curiosity. "Don't you think you'd be safer down on the ground?"
"Oh there is nothing to be worried about" Humpty said with a self-assured grin. "If anything happens, I just order pickups and all the pieces get taken care of."
Ashley nodded. "As long as you're sure." she replied. "But I can't do that. So could you possibly tell me what way I could use to get out of here?"
"But of course" replied Humpty, gesturing a little ways down the wall. "Climb there."
Ashley was a little hesitant but she went over. Finding that indeed, the notches between the bricks at that part of the wall were so pronounced that she had fine footholds and hand holds to climb up and over. From that side she looked back up at Humpty Dumpty, about to wave goodbye.
"Wait one moment Ashley" he called as she began to step back. "Do you by any chance know where everyone is?"
"I'm afraid I don't" she replied humbly, waving and turning to go.
"You don't?" she heard cried from behind her "That's impossible. You should ..." His voice got louder and louder, and as she turned, she saw him leaning back on the wall to try and keep within her hearing range. And she saw him fall. Standing there in shock, she tried to decide how to help him, but within a moment she heard his voice yell "Pick-up! We need another pick-up" and a swarm of the king's men were around him, helping him up.
"He'll be okay" she decided, "and I am in a hurry." And with those reassurances she headed again off into the fields. Into the general direction in which the king's men had come from.
go to part 3
back to Authors main page
back to Whose Line main page
back to Julie's Corner