Meanwhile, as the White Rabbit kept asking questions,
Ashley took the advantage and the noise to lean forward and talk to the
Knave. "What are you accused of?"
"They say I swore at the Ruler!" he replied, indignant.
"I did not!"
"Is that a crime anyway?" she replied, curious.
"No, usually you just lose all your points" the
Knave grumbled back, "but the Ruler had other ideas."
Ashley was going to continue, but a loud clearing
of throat got her attention, and she looked up to see the Judge looking
down at her. "Dearie, don't you think you should stay away from the
accused?" he commented, and reluctantly she sat back. In time to
hear the last question from the White Rabbit.
"And finally, witness number one, if you were the
defendent, would you have committed the crime?" he continued, the same
falsetto voice in use.
"Well, I'm not the defendent" replied the Hatter
"but if I was ..." His gaze slipped over to the thrones, looking
at the Judge sitting there attentively, and then at the Ruler, and blanched.
"I would have." There were some shocked gasps from the audience at that,
and Ashley saw the Ruler sit forward, and saw him open his mouth to scream.
"Most likely going to say off with his head again"
she muttered to herself.
But the voice that caught her attention was not
the Ruler at all, but the White Rabbit's voice, as he shuffled through
his list, deeper voice booming before the Ruler had a chance to say a word.
"And the next witness is ... Ashley."
Walking up to the chair in front, she could feel
the eyes upon her. Especially those of the jury, all of whom were
scribbling down things already. Except for the poor page, who seemed
too much overcome as he stared at her, watching warily at her hands for
another stick, unable to concentrate otherwise. As she looked over
the crowd below, she saw everyone she had run into on this trip, even a
grin and eyes watching from a tree, and suddenly felt very nervous.
"Witness number two, hello!" cried the White Rabbit,
back in the falsetto.
"Hello" she replied shyly.
"What's your opinion on this subject?" he cried,
and she gulped, looking at the Ruler and Judge carefully.
"Ummm ...." she paused, trying to think of any
thing.
"I don't think it is a crime. I think even if he did say it, which he says
he didn't so I believe him ... he would have had the right to say it anyway."
The gasps this time were even louder, and now no one did get to say
anything to block out the Ruler's thunderous response, "Off with her head!"
Ashley, buoyed by the encouragement of the others
earlier, didn't want to take this anymore. And so her response was
just as loud. "Off with my head? As if! You don't have the power anymore
to say that."
The Ruler recoiled as if struck "What did
you say my dear?" came the melodramatic tones, dripping with poison.
Ashley's tone was now kinder, but buoyed by helpful
looks from the crowd. "I'm sorry, but you're just not popular anymore. Oh,
people might like a few things you've done, but overall you come across
as pompous, arrogant, and just not fun. So you don't have the power to
order me around. Besides, I'm a good fan dammit."
And as she looked over the audience, she saw so
many familiar faces. A small group off to the side of the three cards,
the now dry mouse, and the bird, all grinning widely and applauding in
their own ways. The Caterpillar, smirking slightly, nodding in her
direction. The Dog with a large grin across his face as he played with
the cat toy. The Cheshire Cat, now fully visible, ever-present grin still
in place. The March Hare, almost allowing a little smile to cross
his own face. The Mad Hatter, still wearing yet another remarkable
hat, smiling from beneath the brim. The Mock Turtle, smiling happily
from the back. The Knave, chains removed, with that devilish grin
returning to his face. The Judge watching her with a glint of humour
in his eyes, even as the Ruler shook his head from where he crouched, not
at all melodramatic anymore. And finally the White Rabbit, with a
little happy grin on his face as he placed a familiar form into her lap.
A small package of grey fur with white paws, bright eyes looking
up. "Whoser!" she cried in happiness.
And as the Judge hit his gavel, she heard a weird ringing noise. Shaking her head to try and stop it, it only got louder and louder. As she looked more uncomfortable, the White Rabbit put a reassuring arm around her, hugging her. And the combination of it all made her swoon yet again, to the ultimate level, her last glimpse of that world being the White Rabbit's face, and a shadowy form, her own shadow, laughing gleefully as she threw a now empty pen into the air ....
*********
The phone beside her was ringing. Loudly.
Ashley grabbed it, very quickly, it having startled her awake.
"Hey there girl!" came the happy voice from the other
end "How's your girlfest going? Cause mine is flying!"
"Brooke?" she replied sleepily, petting Whoser who
was curled up beside her, looking around the room at the forms of everyone
else, still sleeping or just waking up.
"Who else would it be?" replied Brooke over the
phone. "Just thought I'd call for that joint Girlfest thing. So wake up,
Ashley dear!"
"Brooke!" Ashley replied, sitting bolt upright in
bed. "You would not believe this dream I had!" she started, beginning to
spill the details. She had only gotten two words out before a thought
struck her, and outright she yelled, "But I never got to really meet the
White Rabbit! The dream cut off just before!!"
And she never did figure out why Brooke laughed
so evily before resuming a normal conversation, and before real life,
and girlfest, continued yet again.
THE END
Our Cast of Characters for Today :
Ashley as Alic... excuse me ... as Ashley.
(our heroine, the Amazing Swooning Superdork, and the wonderful Girlfest
Host)
---
Lori as the Mouse (aka wetmouse)
(co-propagator of the silly hour, crazy canuck, and way too fun flying
companion)
---
Vanessa (UK) as the Bird
(our favourite brit, Maintainer of the Official Greg Proops Site, and
a lucky lucky girl)
---
Tashia as the 10 of Hearts
(the original WL saint, saint of Tape Copying, one of the indecisive
people, and lovely tigger-bearing person)
---
lisa as the 4 of Hearts
(labelled by Ash as "the sensible one" so it's not my fault, one of
the indecisive people, and quiet librarian (which is why she doesn't use
a capital right? *ducks*)
---
Donna as the 7 of Hearts
(our sunny floridian girl, another of the indecisive people, and the
official tormenter of Nicks )
---
Whoser the cat as Whoser the cat
(cute cute kitty, very friendly, and probably confused by his name
so many times at GF when it wasn't even about him)
---
Vanessa (Cal) as the face in the smoke
(our phonecall GF member, my own personal Stranger, and harassing type
person but in a good way)
---
Brooke as ... well, Brooke (via the phone)
(Runner of the other GF, the reason this whole crazy thing started,
and master of the evil LOOK & Laugh)
---
Brad Sherwood as the White Rabbit
(studmuffin, the subject of much ::swoon::ing from some people, &
obsessed with monkeys??)
---
Fabian as the Page
(Mr. On-a-stick, scared and yet likes us *G*, our favourite page-type
-person)
---
Steve Frost as the Dog
(the highly cheerful always fun one, the oj/nj king, he of the bushy
eyebrows)
---
Greg Proops as the Caterpillar
(studbagel/witty muffin, very very cool guy, and he of the very stylish
glasses)
---
Wayne Brady as the Cheshire Cat
(studbiscuit/music muffin, very charming and greatly nice guy, he of
the amazing voice)
---
Ryan Stiles as the Mad Hatter
(studbaguette/tall muffin, man who gave us cast pic so we worship him,
he of the phil & gary-ing)
---
Paul Merton as the March Hare
(the unsmiling one, amazingly intelligent (even when stuck with a tub
of lard), he of the dry sarcastic wit)
---
Sandi Toksvig as the Dormouse
(short but still kicks ass woman, very quick on her feet, she of the
fun storytelling)
---
Tony Slattery as the Ja...Knave of Hearts
(wickedly fun one, forgetful of mistakes (or swears *G*), he of the
quick wit, entendre & innuendo)
---
John Sessions as the Ruler
(currently out of Whoser favour one, hopefully not followed by easily
offendable people, he considered to be sorta pompous)
---
Julian Clary as the Judge
(the flamboyant one, famous for the shake of the head negatively, he
of All Rise fame)
---
Colin Mochrie as the Mock Turtle
(studpastry/sweet muffin, the great scots-canuck (best breed there
is *G*), he of the eminently nice and sweet and patient personality!)
---
& finally Jessie as ... the narrator
(Ashley's Shadow ;), the transcribing saint (with or without entendres),
the bouncing Tigger)
That's it, that's all :) Hope ya liked!
And if you liked that, be sure to check out the sequel!
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