Welcome back. Too bad the episode was pretty crappy.

When we last left The Place, Ryan went to see his daughter, Sarah, at the St. Agnes Boarding School in upstate New York. His visit was interrupted by Sarah's Aunt Terry, who apparently lives there, too.

It must put a damper on Terry's love life; having to sneak her dates past the nuns and stuff. Oh, this is assuming that she is single, which she must be because I'm pretty sure that sooner or later she'll end up in bed with Ryan.

Special Musical Guest Chris Isaak has got humungous ears.

While Dumbo was performing, Megan and Michael were discussing how Dr. Shulman was making all these cutbacks at the hospital. She suggested that he should take a stand for those affected, citing his altruism when he opened up his clinic. I wonder how she would have felt if she knew he stole all his equipment for said clinic from Wilshire Memorial.

Amanda was on the phone with a prospective buyer of The Place. She refused to sell to him because he wanted to tear it down to build condos. She said The Place was practically a historic landmark. If sharing bodily fluids is a critria for landmark status, then The Place is a shoo-in.

At a church where I think they were supposed to be married, Ryan told Megan that he slept with Lexi down in Mexico. Megan stormed off. Looks like the wedding's off.

The line of the week goes to Megan for when she confronted Lexi about sleeping with Ryan. She told Lexi, "You need to be medicated for sexual addiction." I guess that pill would be the anti-Viagra.

Eve had to appear before a parole board for cavorting with her ex-cellmate, Jackie. Just when it looked like Eve would be sent back to prison, Amanda spoke up and vouched for her. She said Eve was her oldest and bestest buddy. The board took her words to heart and let Eve stay free. I'm wondering whether or not the board knew that the woman vouching for Eve was her accomplice in the crime that sent her to prison.

Kyle was at Jane's beach house building her deck when Jane's dinner date called to say he couldn't make it. There was a mudslide on the Pacific Coast Highway. Well, there are ways to bypass PCH, like Topanga Canyon Blvd. or Kanan Dume Rd.

When Kyle couldn't figure out how to get back to The Place, he went to call Amanda to tell her he was stuck with Jane. As he picked up the phone, the power went out. Thios prompted Jane to ask whether he did lighting too. He said he did, reached into his pocket, pulled out some matches and lit a conveniently placed candle. What's a guy who doesn't smoke doing with matches? Oh, that's right. He uses them to torch his dream house.

Peter received word that someone wants to buy his dad's property in Texas. He didn't think it was a good time to go to deal with it because of what Shulman was doing at the hospital. Eve said he could put Michael in charge while he was gone. Um, remember what happened the last time he left Michael in charge?

Lexi went to Ryan's apartment to ask why he told Megan about them doing the nasty down in Cabo. She said it cost her a friend and employee. He said now they could be together. He grabbed her, kissed her and tore her shirt off. She pushed him away and slapped him. Why'd she do that? Wasn't that the outcome she wanted from her master plan?

Lexi told Michael that Ryan and Megan broke up. She said it was scientifically proven that Ryan was her Mr. Right. A survey created by an ex-hooker is science?

Sarah called Ryan from a pay phone at the boarding school. Since it wasn't a collect call, the little girl must have had an awful lot of change. Terry cut the call short, which pissed off Ryan. He flung his phone against the wall. Once again, a telecommunications device is abused on The Place.

Megan gave Kyle a list of the things she wanted back from Ryan's apartment. She told him and Amanda that they've split and she quit Sterling Conway. Amanda asked her to work for AWA. She said no. What else is she going to do? Go back to being a ho?

Peter was called back from Texas by Michael. Shulman convened a meeting calling for Peter's ouster as Chief of Staff. Shulman threatened to make public Eve's sordid past, so Peter quit.

Back in Texas, Eve negotiated a sweet deal for the land. Turned out the land contains bubbling crude. Oil that is. Black gold. A Texan's tea. She showed him a check for $5 million. The first of many checks since she didn't sell the land but leased it for 30 years. Now they can finally afford to move out of The Place. They can pack up the bags and move to Beverly. Hills that is.

Kyle went to Amanda's office to pick her up for lunch. One of her assistants said that her financial planner was on the phone. I thought Ryan was her financial planner.

At the only restaurant in LA, Kyle's, Eve and Peter were discussing what they would do with their windfall. In walked Dr. Visconti with word that the nurses and doctors at the hospital were protesting the rollbacks at the hospital. My reaction would be screw 'em. I'm filthy rich now. And that should have been Eve's reaction, too. But she encouraged Peter to go back.

So Peter tore up his resignation and swore that the hospital would refocus their priorities on the patients. That would definitely conflict with the priorities of the HMOs.

Ryan revealed his secret to Kyle. He was married and had a child. The whole happy family was involved in a car accident and his wife was killed. He promised his daughter he would never remarry. And he lost custody of his daughter to his sister-in-law. He only gets to see her three weeks a year. He must have had a lousy lawyer. Who represented him? The same lawyer who represented Eve at her murder trial?

That's it for this week. Read the spoiler for next week's episode, "McBride's Head Revisited" at my site.

Also new there are spoilers for the month of May.

Former producer Chip Hayes is suing Spelling for defamation of character.

The New York Post reported that execs went through great lengths to try to keep secret the finale script.

And lastly, Details Magazine ran a feature on Alyssa Milano. She revealed that she walked in on her parents while they were screwing when she was four-years-old.

Read 'em all at http://geocities.datacellar.net/Hollywood/4616/.

'Til next week...