Hi guys:

One of the all-time best episodes ever. Coupled with a terrific episode of Ally McBeal, it had to be the best two hours of television this decade.

The best line of the week was the first line of the week. After catching Michael in Megan's closet, Ryan peered up to the ceiling and said, "There's no hole in the ceiling. Well, we know foreplay didn't begin on the roof this time."

That whole scene was a classic; from when Ryan, Megan and Michael told Lexi in unison to shut up right up to when Megan thwacked Ryan in the head with a lamp. That probably hurt more than having a goose fly into your nose while on a roller coaster.

Lexi helped Ryan back to his apartment where she poured vodka onto a towel to treat Ryan's wound. I hate to see good alcohol go to waste. Didn't he have any rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide lying around? Too bad Amanda moved out. He could have borrowed the peroxide from her.

Anyway, groggy from being smite in the head, Ryan gave in to Lexi's charms. Atta boy! One thing I hate more than seeing good alcohol go to waste is a guy refusing to get naked with a beautiful woman.

The next morning at the bitch house, Jane and Amanda, both looking like their roots could use some peroxide, got into another spat. But Amanda apologized before Jane threw her out on her ass.

Another good line came when Megan went looking for Ryan. Lexi told her that he went to the hospital to make sure he didn't have any permanent brain damage. Megan replied, "Well, if he's sleeping with you again then he definitely has brain damage."

Lexi then asked what happened to their relationship. They used to be best friends. Duh! You slept with her fiance. That's what happened.

Amanda arrived at the site of her dream house to see Kyle. Exiting her car, she removed her Manolo Blahnik pumps to walk across the sand and onto the construction. Good thing the laborers had the foresight to sweep up all the wood chips, nails and other debris that might cut her bare feet.

She was feeling frisky so Kyle escorted her to a trailer where they screwed. If I were the contractor, I'd toss Kyle from the site. Not only would I be pissed that Kyle was using my office for sex, I would be pissed that he was at the site at all. He'd be able to see all the slipshod workmanship and the inferior materials I'm trying to pass off.

At the hospital, Eve bounded in with a present for Peter. Not only that, she bounded in with her high beams on. Once again, her nipples showed through her skin tight dress.

At a business lunch with a potential new client, Tony Marlin, Amanda introduced Ryan and Megan as her top two executives. That says a lot about her opinion of Jane.

Ryan and Megan got into a little argument when they blurted out that Ryan and Lexi did it on Amanda's desk. Amanda was appalled. I'll bet that she'll be calling Office Depot for a new desk.

Ryan excused himself and left. Megan excused herself and left. What does that say about your agency when your top two executives can't get along?

Dr. Shulman called another board meeting. Now that she was a partner, much to Dr. Visconti's chagrin, she wanted to cut out the psychiatric department. Michael said they almost came to blows. Lucky for Visconti that they didn't. I think she would have kicked his sorry ass.

Amanda was working late when Kyle showed up to surprise her. They too began to bicker when she inferred that her work was more important than her marriage. Love on the rocks? Hey, if Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra can't make it, what chance do Kyle and Amanda have?

Peter went into his bathroom to join Eve in the shower. Or so he thought. It was Amanda. She said she stayed over because she didn't want to drive back to Malibu. We know it was because she fought with Kyle.

But it was a good thing she hung a towel on the curtain rod (when I do that, the towel gets all wet). Otherwise, Peter and us would have seen her naked with no clothes on. Peter most likely has seen her nude, but we haven't. Damn that towel!

The sign outside the Jazz Club announced that Tal Bachman was performing. Like we've ever heard of them. Anson "Potsie" Williams directed this episode. He should have cast himself as the musical guest. While writing this, Potsie is singing to Joanie Paul Anka's "Put Your Head On My Shoulders" on an episode of "Happy Days" on Nickelodeon. Remember, the one that Joanie called him "Dren," nerd backwards?

On The Place, he could also sing that song that he made up to help him remember the circulatory system for that bio test, "Pump-pump, pump-pump, pump-pump-pump, a-pump-pump, pumps your blood." It would have been a lot better than what Tal Bachman was wailing. It didn't have a good beat. And you couldn't dance to it.

But Amanda and Tony tried to. Kyle saw this and got jealous. More love on the rocks. Hey, if Andre Agassi and Brooke Shields can't make it, what chance do Kyle and Amanda have?

Tony met Eve and talked Amanda into them leaving to go to a more "sophisticated establishment." Where are they going to go? To Shooters?

Kyle told Megan about Ryan's daughter. So Megan went to confront him about it. She wanted to know about the girl, her mother and whether he was leading some sort of double life. Someone hiding a mysterious past? That's unheard of at The Place.

Kyle arrived to his temporary home at the bitch house to find Jane sulking over her divorce papers and sucking down a bottle of Chardonnay. She lamented about how she was such a loser. Kyle comforted her. As they were about to lock lips, the phone rang. Kissus interruptus. I hate when that happens.

The call was from The Club. A bunch of college kids drank too much and trashed the club. I find that hard to believe. When I was in college, I never drank or went to bars and I spent all my free time in the library.

The next morning at The Club, Ryan shook hands with a guy I'm assuming was the insurance adjuster. That guy was my friend Warren Tabata. Cool guy. I last saw him on the "Lethal Weapon 4" set.

Anyway, Kyle gave instructions to Eve to cut the frat boys off. But she left with Amanda and Tony without telling the bartender. So when Eve and Amanda got back to The Club to witness the aftermath, Kyle and Amanda had another tiff. Even more love on the rocks. Hey, if Dennis Rodman and the Lakers can't make it, what chance do Kyle and Amanda have?

At Michael's suggestion, Peter assigned Visconti and Shulman to head a committee to determine the fate of the Trauma Center. Since Visconti was a buddy, he could stay close to Shulman and spy on her subversive activities. Little did they know how close he would get.

Peter and Michael went to Visconti's office and found him and Shulman rolling around on his desk half-naked. Atta boy!

I saw it coming. And it's about time Visconti got some. He had a severe case of deadly sperm build-up since Lexi came on to him. And Shulman wasn't looking too bad.

Jane and Kyle did some more bonding when she showed up at The Club to help him clean up. She said she was working late so she would be taking a long lunch. The last thing I would want to do at lunch is to sweep up beer bottles. If she wants to do that, she's invited to my place any time.

Lexi followed Ryan into his apartment trying to persuade him into a date. Ryan played his answering machine and there were two messages from Sarah. For the six months that he's been living at The Place, he's never heard from her. And now, all of a sudden, she decided to reach out and touch someone?

Hearing her voice, Ryan contemplated moving to Upstate New York to be with her. He said he could get a job at a small ad agency. Yeah, his biggest client would be Fred's Service Station buying ad space in the Poughkeepsie Tattler. Oooh, glamorous. It wasn't hard for Lexi to convince him to bring Sarah out to LA.

Now Lexi was worried because Sarah thinks she's Megan. But Michael advised her to bribe Sarah into disavowing they ever met. She should have known when she said she was Megan that it would come back to haunt her.

Amanda presented to Tony a prospective commercial. He hinted that he needed something "more" before he would sign with her agency. Amanda thought it was her and indicated that she was married. He said he wasn't interested in her. He was interested in Eve. Doh!

You would think that someone like Amanda who is so full of herself would be taken aback, but she wasn't.

Lexi accompanied Ryan to NY on his trip to bring Sarah to LA. She had to get to Sarah first to bribe her. So she finagled her way to Sarah's room to make her proposal. But it turned out the only thing under the covers were Beanie Babies. From this, Lexi deduced that Sarah had run away.

Back in Malibu, Jane went to a restaurant for some take-out where see bumped into Kyle. My, what a coincidence! There must be only one restaurant in Malibu just like there's only one restaurant in LA. They bonded further.

Tony was watching Eve sing at The Club when she received a call from Peter. Amanda intercepted the call and said that Eve was busy. She also said that Eve would be busy all night. The better to set Eve up with Tony. The better to land the account. Could anyone really be that unscrupulous?

Michael was drinking beers with Megan in her apartment when there was a knock on her door. Michael answered it and it was Sarah looking for her dad. A 10-year-old girl somehow managed to trek across the entire country.

Anyway, she recognized Michael as the "Father Michael" that showed up in Poughkeepsie. But when Megan made her appearance, she didn't recognize her as the "Megan" that showed up in Poughkeepsie. That's because it was Lexi in Poughkeepsie.

That's it for this week.

Check out my site for the spoiler for next week's episode, "Bitter Homes and Guardians." You just gotta love them titles.

Also new there is an article about Josie Bissett's pregnancy and Rob Estes' new series. He'll be playing a doctor at an inner city clinic.

The LA Times brought light to Chip Hayes' lawsuit against Spelling. It said that Internet porn was part of his downfall.

Soap Opera Digest published some pictures from The Place's farewell bash at the Century Club. They also said that James Darren originally turned down the role of Tony Marlin. He thought Tony was too gay.

James Darren also granted an interview to The Globe. They're sticking to the spoiler story they printed several weeks ago.

And finally, Charles Pratt, Jr. talked about the end of The Place. He hinted that a reunion show may already be in the works.

Read 'em all at http://geocities.datacellar.net/Hollywood/4616/.

'Til next week...

Stan


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