It was really hot again in LA today and things also seem to be heating up on The Place.

Kyle arrived home at 3AM to discover that Amanda wasn't in bed. He did notice that the leopard skin sheets have finally been changed. And it's about time. I'm sure there were extra spots that weren't there to begin with.

So Kyle went down to Peter's place to see if she was there. She wasn't, so Peter called Wilshire Memorial's ER in case she got into an accident. Wilshire Memorial is the only hospital in LA so the ambulance would have taken her there if she were in an accident.

She in fact was in an accident, but it was staged as part of a plot to kidnap her. She was taken to a run-down shack and put into a room that was nicer than my apartment. Then she began to mouth off to one of her kidnappers about how kidnapping was a federal offense. Ooh, you really scared him!

Kyle drove around town and found Amanda's car. It couldn't have been too hard to find. LA is such a small city. Anyway, the window was rolled down and the keys were still in the ignition. Yeah, like that car would have been there all night. In the real LA, that car would have been half way to South America. Unless it was left in my neighborhood. Then, I'd be sporting around in it.

Taylor asked Jane whether she and Michael would take care of her baby. Can you imagine either of them as parents?

Jane: "Oh my God! I left the baby at the mall!"

Or maybe this scenario - Michael: "Jeez! I left the baby at the strip joint!"

To thank Coop for sleeping with her, Lexi bought him a sailboat. I wonder how she'd thank me for sleeping with her. With a canoe or a yacht?

Anyway, she stripped and came on to him again but he rejected her advances. The fool! I guess he didn't need any additions to his fleet.

The kidnappers contacted Kyle and told him they wanted a $1 million ransom for her return. I don't think she's worth a million. I'd have told them to keep her. Heck, in a week, the kidnappers will be offering to PAY Kyle to take the bitch back.

Just as Peter was getting off the phone with Don Corleone to call the whole thing off, Kyle showed up to ask for Peter's help with the ransom. Kyle was only able to scrounge up $700,000. And just last week he and Amanda said they couldn't afford a good house.

Peter said he would make up the difference. He can spare $300,000 and can't afford to live at a better place than The Place?

At Kyle's, the only restaurant in LA, Samantha was dining with Jeff when Billy and Jennifer and Michael and Jane arrived. Sam watched with pleasure as a spat broke out between Billy and Jennifer over the fax allegedly from Alison. Jeff noticed Sam's glee and surmised that Sam was just using him to get back at Billy. He left her. Hey Sammy baby, you can use me now.

Lexi threatened to tell Megan that Coop slept with her. Coop should have come clean last week and told Megan about his improper relation with Lexi. We all know she's going to find out about it sooner or later. And the fact that he lied about it will only make it worse. Just ask the President.

Back at the shack, Amanda was served two eggs in a frying pan by one of the kidnappers. Upset that the eggs were over easy and not scrambled the way she likes it, she clocked him with the pan. What a way to get your iron!

She managed to escape but was immediately recaptured. She obviously haven't watched enough "Rambo" movies.

Sam went to Jennifer to apologize for being a bitch to her and Billy. She fessed up that it was her that actually sent the fax purportedly from Alison. It was like, "Okay, I tried to ruin your life, but can we be best friends again?"

Sam offered to tell Billy the whole story, but Jen told her not to. Jen didn't want to think that Billy would be a phone call away from walking out on her. Jennifer honey, every guy is a phone call away from walking out. Like I was just saying to my girlfriend, Marisa Tomei, if Sarah Michelle Gellar calls, you're history.

Coop told Megan he wanted to run away with her and she wanted to know why. So she went to Lexi and found out that the two of them have been doing the nasty. Then yada yada yada, Megan gave Coop the boot.

Kyle agreed to let Peter deliver the ransom. Wimpy Peter would be one of the last people I would team up with on such a mission. I'd look for Nick to help me out. He may be scum, but he's a warrior.

One of the lines of the week goes to Michael. As Jennifer was moving out of The Place (where was she moving to?), Michael told her that Billy was a male slut. Now that's definitely the pot calling the kettle black!

Anyway, she told Michael about the fake fax and not to tell anyone about it. Now we all know that when you tell someone not to tell anyone that they most certainly will.

So when Michael bumped into Billy, he began to tell him. Which brings us to the co-winner of the line of the week. Billy said, "Why am I listening you? You're an idiot." Now it's the kettle calling the pot black!

The kidnappers tied Amanda back up and left to collect the ransom. Amanda eyed a beer bottle, which inspired me to go to the fridge to grab another Heineken.

Jennifer walked in on Billy as he was cancelling his flight to Atlanta. She was overjoyed. Her happiness was short-lived when Billy raved about how he knew about how she knew about the fax. He broke off their engagement.

That has got to have been Andrew Shue's best performance ever. His anger was totally believable. Just when Andy was finally getting his acting chops, he gets tossed from the show.

As a storm moved in (today, one actually did hit the Southland), Peter delivered the ransom and found the directions to Amanda's whereabouts. Whereabout Amanda did her MacGyver impersonation and used the beer bottle to free her from her binds. Silly me. I thought she was just thirsty and wanted a brewski.

She grabbed a raincoat, which the kidnappers were so kind to leave her, and then made for the woods. One of her captors spotted her though...

At the beach house, Michael started to get busy with Jane. Taylor got busy herself. She went into labor. At first, Michael dismissed it as being indigestion from the peppers she ate. He finally realized that she was ready to pop. Good thing he's a trained doctor.

Peter entered the shack where he didn't find Amanda but just the bloodied ropes she freed herself from with the broken beer bottle. He called Don Corleone and screamed at him. Don Corleone didn't appreciate Peter's tone and said, "Are you talkin' to ME? Are you TALKIN' to ME?"

Kyle called Peter's cell phone and learned that Amanda wasn't where she was supposed to be. There's no need to fear, Kyle McBride will soon be there!

That's it for this week. Tune in next week to see if Kyle is in time to save the day.

Dave and the Fox61 didn't post their spoilers yet. But I have TV Guide's spoiler posted.

Also posted in an article from Soap Opera Digest relating their approval of the summer episodes. There's also coverage of Lisa Rinna's party in honor of her Playboy pictorial.

Read 'em all at http://geocities.datacellar.net/Hillywood/4616/.

Gotta go now. I'm gonna hoof it over to Blockbuster to get my copy of "Titanic." Not! I'm going to hit the sack to get some much needed sleep.

'Til next week...