From the December Stuff:


Charmed WE'RE SURE

TV's least-wicked witch, Alyssa Milano, cast a spell on us. Now we can't take our eyes off her.

"This is my stallion," says Alyssa Milano, stroking a stallion. She keeps seven of them near her home in the hills above Malibu. You can tell it's hers because she's carved her initials into its neck in clumsy block letters.
     OK, we're making that last part up. But this part is true, we swear: The horse looks directly at us and snorts. "He's jealous," Alyssa says. "They're very sensitive." Hey, I'm sensitive, too. But she won't stroke me, no matter how politely or how loudly I ask.
     Can you blame me for trying? This is Alyssa Milano, after all—the girl American adolescents nearly went blind over throughout the '80s as she matured into the world's most magnificent woman on Who's the Boss? She rewarded us for our patience when she evicted her girl-next-door image for a topless turn in Poison Ivy II and a roll in the hay with another girl next dorr in Deadly Sins. Then she went soap-opera Shakespeare—playing manipulative Jennifer Mancini on Melrose Place, a kind of Machiavelli in stilettos and a tight, lacy push-up bra...but we digress.
     These days she uses her powers for good—reportedly exorcising the demonic Shannen Doherty right the hell off of her WB witching hour, Charmed. With Shannen out and Rose McGowan in, the show (including Holly Marie Combs) offers a sexy new brew without losing any of its insightful political commentary.

STUFF: A lot of people seem to, um, like you. Are you America's sweetheart?
ALYSSA:
I've grown up with a lot of people—men and women—watching me in their living rooms. I'm more like everybody's cousin. America's cousin.

And it's weird to date your cousin. So you must have spent your life exclusively dating foreigners.
I kind of went out with Kirk Cameron when I was little, about 13. I only went to a regular school for about a year, and no one talked to me. I didn't get asked to the prom, which was weird. I guess I didn't have social skills. It wasn't easy for me to say, "Hey, I'm really nice." Actually, my year in high school was anticlimactic. No boyfriends.

Speaking of anticlimactic, how do you explain that fling with Scott Wolf? We hear he's incorrigible.
I was 20. We got engaged. I was a child whose parents have been together since they were 15, so I thought that was what you're supposed to do. I didn't date—I got engaged. For a year after we broke up, I didn't really see anybody. Then I met a guy at a party and ended up marrying him [Cinjun Tate of the band Remy Zero]. We got divorced a year later. I realized that being married to a musician meant life on the road and in bars, and though he's still my best friend, our marriage wasn't working. I like to stay friends. I talked to Scott recently, too.

He never calls us anymore. What about Tony Danza?
He was my father for eight years! Tony is a great guy. He likes to check in on me every few months. We're still close.

I'd keep away from him if I were you. I've been watching your Teen Steam workout video, yet I don't feel steamy. Can I have my money back?
Funny.

Poison Ivy IV: When will we see it?
I did Poison Ivy II. Jamie Pressly did III. Perfect, right? My Poison Ivy days are behind me, I hope.

Apparently you're quite the pop diva in Japan. We'll overlook the obvious questions as to why, but can we look forward to an Alyssa Milano box set?
No. I got all that bubblegum pop out of my system.

That stuff's hard to wash out. You're even more famous for those MCI commercials.
Oh, yeah. Little kids only know me from those spots. They don't know from Who's the Boss? and aren't allowed to watch Charmed. It's a great night job, especially if Charmed doesn't last.

Speaking of which...
Shannen Doherty? You know, if you remember the way Shannen left Beverly Hills, 90210, it's almost exactly the way it happened on Charmed. She left for personal reasons, then it started coming out that she didn;t get along with the other cast members. It seemed she was so angry and upset over leaving another hit show that she had to lash out at me. Suddenly it's my fault. I think she did the right thing by leaving, but once she left she attacked many people—not only me, our audience, too, and almost everyone on the show. She lost credibility. She was like a bad roommate. There was a lot of tension on the set. I have a fear of confrontation, and she can be aggressive, so I was afraid of her.

And you never wanted to bop her one?
I've lost my temper, but growing up in an Italian family, you either shout everyone down or you withdraw. I withdrew. It's how I deal with emotions. I get more hurt than angry.

Is that nonverbal communication the reason you get along with horses?
Yeah, I think so. And I'm a Sagittarius, which is half horse. When you ride a horse, your emotional chakra—which in Kundalini yoga is at the bottom of your spine—connects to the horse's spine through the saddle.

I'm not quite grasping that. Could you demonstrate?
No.

You seem to have a nice way with animals, but have you ever had it out with a horse?
I've been bitten and stepped on. I learned the hard way. I love animals. I have two dogs, three cats and seven horses.

Are the animals a way to escape?
Waking up with my coffee and in my ducky flannel pajamas and walking by my horses—nothing beats that. Hey, 21 years in the business, I have only one person who hates me in my life. That's not so bad.

Shannen doesn't hate you—she hates herself.
I haven't been able to figure it out, and I might die not knowing. And that's OK.

Does your 18-year-old brother ever come to you for advice about girls?
I love my little brother. We talk about everything. I don't think he's too interested in the girlfriend thing at this point. But just the other night he was over at my house with a bunch of his friends, and this girl went through my photo album on the coffee table. She looked at my picture and asked him, "Is this Marisa Tomei?" My brother just said, "Yeah."

So, Marisa, do you often entertain 18-year-old boys at your house?
Yeah, but they see me covered in pimple medicine and flannel pajamas.

Still, they know what's underneath those pj's.
They never let on.

Not to you. Date any of them?
No!

What's a good pickup line I could use on you?
If you came up to me at a bar? I'm so glad I'm not a guy, because I could never do this. "I like your tattoos?" No. "Hi, how are you?" The worst thing is to send over a drink. It's like, "Who did this to me?" Way too aggressive. The freakiest line is, "I have this poster of you over my bed."

I get that all the time. How about, "You're a tasty cookie?"
I don't think so.

OK. You and Shannen Doherty in a celebrity death match: Who wins?
Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Rose McGowan. Could you take her?
Her ex-boyfriend is Marilyn Manson, so she can take care of herself. She's so witty and smart and keeps everything on the set light, which is what we all desperately needed.

You have to have done something really bad in your lifetime. Care to share any examples?
I had the urge to snoop through an old boyfriend's stuff. Is that too boring?

Yeah. I'm looking for something potentially indictable.
I'm the person who takes a leftover piece of meat and puts it outside the door for the ants to eat.

So that's what happened to Grant Show. Let's talk about sex. What wouldn't you try?
Nipple clamps.

Good choice. Best turn-on ever?
The back of a man's neck. I don't know why.

Me neither. How about the back of a woman's neck?
We're all hairy back there, or maybe just Italian women are. I think women with strong hands are sexy.

So...
I've read Stuff. Sorry, but I've never had a lesbian encounter.

We don't say, "never." We say, "not yet."
Not yet.


Alyssa's Tattooo Tour: Do Not Ride with a Heart Condition

"On my right wrist, my seventh and newest one, is an ouroboros—a snake biting its tail. It's a symbol of rebirth. I got it after my divorce and after spending some time in South Africa. On my left wrist is the Buddhist symbol of Om. It reminds me of my ex-husband. The rosary beads on my back are part of my rosary collection. Growing up Catholic, it's a symbol of that part of my life. I have an angel on one ankle and a vine of flowers on the other because angels and flowers are cool. I have a fairy on my hip as a token of my youth. That was my first one. It was a Peter Pan, eternal-child thing. And I have a sacred heart on my lower back, a symbol of passion and commitment to life. Every time I get a tattoo, my parents say they'll disown me. I have to get them airbrushed for Charmed. Witches don't have tattoos, I guess."


She had a lesbian encounter with Charlotte Lewis in Embrace of the Vampire. I can understand how she forgot about that. It was a forgetful movie.


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