Myra, that's her name. I went out with her for many years. A good looking, if somewhat
overweight blonde, she certainly was fun to be around. One night, whilst saying good-night
outside her house, I asked a question I'd been meaning to ask: "My, what's your
sexual fantasy?", thinking it would involve maybe fur and big warm bed. No answer was
forthcoming, so I looked across at her and repeated the question. She looked down,
embarrassed. "Come on, tell me" I pressed. "I see myself as an assassin,
don't Iaugh" Pausing only to pick my lower jaw off the car's floorpan I asked
"What?" "You heard", came the firm reply-"I'd be good with a
gun".
Now, I don't think I even have to tell you that I was interested, to say the least.
"Get out of it" I stammered, swallowing hard. "Yeah" Myra continued,
suddenly enthused,
"Maybe working for the Bulgarian Government" "What?" I said,
retrieving my lower jaw once more. "I went to Bulgaria once on holiday-it's
nice" "Oh" I said, I just couldn't of anything else to say.
The next time I saw Myra I again pursued her fantasy. "What I'd really like",
she confided, "Is a machine gun". "Not an automatic with a silencer
maybe?" I countered. I found out that though that was all right, it wasn't as
sexy (her words) as an Uzi. "Oh" was about all I could muster as a reply.
Christmas was approaching. I was at London Bridge and there was a bloke selling
convincing Uzi water machine pistols. Why not? A gag gift, she'd get a buzz-and so would
I. She bought me a camera that Christmas and she willingly posed for pictures. Wearing her
black leather jacket and gloves (of course) she grasped her Uzi. I raised the camera,
prepared to snap away. "Wait a minute" she said. She put her hand into her
jacket and slid a box of Silk Cut from her pocket. Opening the box, she lit a cigarette.
She was ready.
In the pub early in the New Year I'd returned to our table with drinks. "'ere
darlin'" she said, "How would I get a real gun?" I looked at her somewhat
incredulously. "You are kidding, aren't you?". Apparently not. "Well",
I said "You would have to know someone. Someone with connections". She looked at
me with her sparkling blue eyes. She had beautiful eyes and I have never seen them more
beautiful. Pouring her bottle of Pils into a tall thin glass she looked at me and said
"And I do"
Quite frankly, I didn't ask just how she got this connection. Too heavy for me. But she
eventually went to a pub in the East End of London where she would be approached by
"Eddie". Eddie was, as they say, "The Man". He introduced himself,
bought her a drink and they sat down at a table. "So the word is you need the
services of my retail operation". Myra smiled, sipping her Pils. "I have a lock
up in a railway arch just round the corner. Let's drink up and get down to business"
They finished and Myra drove Eddie to the lock up in her Escort. It was a typical
"underneath the arches" situation: garages full of dubious cars, the smell of
fresh re-sprays, anonymous looking warehouses with dirty white Transit vans parked in
front.
Eddie got out of the car, opened the gate and beckoned Myra to drive in. Once in, he
closed the gate. Myra felt nervous and lit a cigarette. "Now, what do you need?"
said Eddie, hands on his hips. "I want a big gun. Like in the pictures" Eddie
smiled. "Oh" he said, "I see". He walked over to a chest of draws, and
fished a bunch of keys out of his pocket. "Just how much do you want to pay?" he
inquired. "I dunno-hadn't thought". "Well" he said unlocking the first
drawer. "This is my bargain basement" pulling it open, revealing an assortment
of rather old small caliber revolvers. Myra looked at them, with no great enthuasium.
"Don't you have something better-automatics maybe?" "Ooooh. Automatics
eh." he said mockingly.
He unlocked the second drawer, which revealed a more up market selection. Myra looked at
these and her eyes grew big. A large caliber snub revolver, a mid sized automatic, a
couple of 9mm autos and a .45 service automatic. Nothing was said. Eddie stood and
watched. Finally he picked out a silver .22 automatic with white hand grips. "How
about this luv? A nice ladies gun" It evoked not a great deal of enthusiasm from
Myra. "Too small. I want something bigger" she maintained. "Just how much
do you want to spend? The bigger the gun, the more it's gonna cost" said Eddie,
handing the gun to Myra. "Well, I was told 500 pounds would get me a good gun"
she said finally. She held the gun gently, then said "It's not loaded, is it?"
Eddie nodded in the negative, then Myra began to point it menacingly at the wall. Eddie
looked at her. "Five hundred will get you a good shooter-and you're holding it".
He could see the disappointment on Myra's face. "Small for five hundred, isn't it?
How much is this?", pointing at a 9mm. "A grand" was the flat reply.
She didn't have enough. "What about a silencer, I need a silencer" Myra said.
"Funny you should say that" said Eddie with a smile. He produced a silencer from
the back of drawer and handed it to Myra. "That, the gun and a box of ammo-seven
fifty. That's a real deal, believe me. Myra looked at him questioningly, with her
beautiful blue eyes sparkling. "Go on then ,let's call it seven hundred." Eddie
responded, smiling. Myra fumled as she tried to fit the silencer. "No, like
this" Eddie said as he took the gun and fitted the silencer. He unclipped the
magazine carefully showed her how to load. He then explained the safety
catch.
Assured the safety was on, Myra began pointing the gun at the walls. "You know"
Eddie said in a reproaching manner, "That thing isn't a toy". Myra flushed with
embarrassment. Her whole body coursed with excitement, now she was handling a gun-a real
gun. "Sorry", her blue eyes sparkling still, she lay the gun on the chest of
drawers. "I got carried away-it's a real buzz" "Yeah?" Eddie replied.
"That's not the only thing that's a buzz..." He moved towards Myra, just as the
moment a train boomed overhead, sending dust and grit falling from the top of the arch.
She recoiled back slightly, then moved forward again. She felt fear welling inside her.
"Anyone ever tell you you got beautiful eyes luv?" Myra looked down, not wishing
to make eye contact."In fact I really want to fuck you" Suddenly the fear that
had been building in Myra left. "Yeah?" she said softly. "That's funny 'cos
I really wanna fuck you". It was in that moment that Eddie realised his big mistake.
He had loaded the automatic and then showed this nut of a blonde how to use it.
In no more than a split second, Myra grabbed the gun and released the safety. The leather
gloved finger squeezed the trigger, yet she still had time to notice the look of both
terror and annoyance on Eddie's face. Eddie was right, the silencer was very effective
indeed. A white muzzle flash and his face contorted as the bullet hit him in the stomach.
Myra smiled broadly as she squeezed the trigger again and again.
At this range the bullets thudded home, the small caliber not being a factor. By this time
Eddie had fallen forward on his knees, just in time for the last shot to crash into his
forehead. He fall back and to his left, quite dead. "And I didn't even give you the
money" Myra said as with a self satisfied smile she took the silencer off the gun.
She patted it gently. For the first time in her life, Myra felt complete.