Constellations
by Kittie
Billy sighed softly, watching as the reflections of the Aquitian moons moved gracefully across the water. They glowed brighter than any star orbiting Earth, and lit up the whole lake with blue, green, and golden light. The constellations were foreign and exotic, yet just as beautiful as the ones billions of light years away.
Glancing at his watch, he noted the time. 11:07 pm, Earth Pacific time. If Adam was still going by the same schedule, he'd be sitting up on his roof at this very moment, identifying the constellations by name. Adam had once told him that saying their names out loud comforted him somehow. As if it made them more solid, more concrete. Billy sighed again. There were no roofs here, much less people to sit on them with.
His thoughts continued to travel back to Angel Grove. Tanya, if she and Adam were still together, would be up on the roof with him. Billy pictured them, Adam with his arm resting lightly across Tanya's shoulders, she leaning close to him, basking in his warmth. It always made Billy happy to watch them together. They were so... in synch, so natural. He hoped that one day he would find someone with whom he meshed so well.
_Dad...._ His father would be on the living room couch in his bathrobe, watching the nightly news and munching on a not-quite-midnight snack of corn chips and caffeine free Coke. After "The Tonight Show" and a shot of rum, it was off to bed.
Tommy... who knew what he did at night? Kat was a mystery as well. Rocky was probably stuck putting his siblings to bed, though he didn't seem to mind doing it. _He'll make an awesome father someday,_ Billy thought, a tiny smile gracing his face.
And Jason... _I think I miss you most of all._ He laughed humorlessly as a vision from The Wizard of Oz popped into his head. "I am no Dorothy," he muttered, "and Jason is no scarecrow." he considered. "The tin man, maybe? No.... Definitely not the lion." He stopped. "Why am I thinking about this?"
He forced his mind back to the gang as a whole. Who else was there?... Bulk and Skull... he grimaced as he thought of them. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what they were up to. That left Zordon and Alpha... business as usual.
He realized with a start that... well, that was it. His friends had all moved on with their lives and he.... He buried his face in his hands. "Oh, Fish."
"You called?" A head popped out of the water in front of him, startling him.
"Cestria! What are you doing here, you nearly scared me to death!"
"Sorry," she shrugged and waded toward the shore. "I still can't believe you're here. You hate water, you're afraid of fish, and you decide to live... on Aquitar?"
"I'm not afraid of fish anymore, so shut up. Besides... I don't hate water, I just don't... like it."
"Whatever." She splashed him a little, causing him to let out a little squeak of annoyance. "I love it when you squeak!" she crowed, and splashed him again.
Billy made a face at her and looked back down at the surface of the water. Her movement had disrupted the calm reflections of the moons and stars and turned them into angry swirls of twisted colour. He found himself mesmerized by it.
"What are you looking at?" she wondered, noticing his wide-eyed gaze.
"The water," he replied quietly. "So beautiful...."
She turned around and looked at it carefully. "Yes, it is. Are you just noticing?"
"No. You just... disturbed everything-"
"I'm sorry-"
"No, in a good way! The reflections, see? The way they move...." He blushed slightly, feeling like an inarticulate child.
Cestria just smiled. "I see."
"So...." He racked his brains for something to say. "How did you know I was here?"
"You're here every night," she answered simply. "I got tired of letting you be alone."
"You've seen me out here?"
"You're always star-gazing...."
"Yeah.... The constellations are all wrong...."
"I'll bet the scientist in you loves that."
"Oh, sure. I'm seeing things most Earthlings never get a chance to see."
"But...?"
"But...." He paused, deep in thought. "But...."
"You miss your home."
"I guess. Part of me does."
"You could go back, you know, Billy. You could-"
"I can't go back, Cestria. It would be... admitting defeat."
"No... You could tell them we broke up. I'm sure they'd never question you.... They never did before."
"True."
"I still can't believe they bought that 'negative proton' nonsense you threw at them!"
"I know," he chuckled slightly. "I thought for sure Zordon and Alpha would call me on that one. I've always kinda wondered why they let it slide."
"They trust your judgment, I guess. They knew you had your reasons."
"So I should be flattered?"
"Yes. Zordon of Eltare does not give out his trust to just anybody."
"Zordon of Eltare.... He never did explain how he got to be so famous around the galaxy. It's so weird hearing him talked about like some kind of God. He's just a giant head in a tube for God's sake."
Cestria giggled. "He's a lot more than that, Billy."
"I know."
They were quiet for a long while, until Cestria spoke again. "And they believed we were... together."
"Well," Billy shrugged. "I'd say our affection for one another was quite obvious to them when you came to my rescue with that sacred water. After seeing that, why wouldn't they believe?"
"I do love you, Billy, just... not that way."
"I know. I love you too, but... but...."
"I'm a fish," she finished good-naturedly.
Billy smiled. "Yes, a very pretty fish."
"And you hate fish."
"No... not all fish." He smiled down at her then, and noticed with some amusement that she blushed.
"So..." she began.
"So..." he prodded.
"Well, I was just saying, you know...."
"Yes...?"
She glared at him, slightly annoyed that he was enjoying her obvious discomfort. "I was saying that I'd help you... I'd tell them we broke up-"
"I don't want you to lie for me, Cestria. No more lying."
"It's no big deal. And besides, who says you have to go back to Angel Grove? The Earth is a big planet."
"How could I go back without seeing my friends? My father?"
"You do consider them friends then?"
"Of course. Jason, and... and Adam. I guess I kinda feel like I let him down."
"Adam? Let him down? How so?"
"We balanced each other. Supported one another. I left him in the lurch."
"I might be going out of line here, but did he see your relationship in the same way you did?"
"Yes. We talked about it once. How we seemed to be... destined to be friends. We had both just suffered a big scare... a battle in which both of us nearly lost our lives... so we were being really sappy and weepy.... But it's stayed with me all this time."
"I take it that was back when you were still a ranger?"
"Yes. The Ninjetti powers." He paused. "God, I miss that. Part of me feels so empty without it. I mean, I could always feel the spirit of the wolf nearby... as if I had a phantom companion wherever I went. But he's gone now. All of it is."
"Oh Billy...."
Her tone stopped him. "Come on, it's not all that bad...."
"Yes it is," she insisted, her eyes wide and wet. "I just want you to be happy!"
"Oh, I've stopped worrying about all that."
"What do you mean?"
"Happiness. There's no such thing as total happiness. You just... live. What else is there?"
"There's a lot more, and you know it!"
He shook his head. "Things are just so complicated. Sometimes it's easier just to... go day by day and not worry about the rest."
"But what kind of life is that? You need friends, family... you can't be on autopilot all the time."
"No... but you can try."
Cestria stared at him, mortified. "I don't believe this. I don't.... Billy, you're scaring me!"
"I don't mean to, it's just that...." He broke off, sighing. "Never mind, forget I said anything. I don't know what I'm talking about."
"Yes you do. You know you can find happiness, or at least contentment, if you try. You know that as long as you stay here, afraid of facing whatever it is you're afraid of facing, you're taking the easy way out. You know that your chance at true happiness lies out there..." She gestured to the vast night sky. "...and you have to go to it!"
Billy stared up at the stars in silence. "I know," he finally said.
End
