Disclaimer: The Power Rangers are the property of Saban and all that. Mario Saldanas is mine, and I know very little about psychiatry, so if he's a bit over-the-top, that's why. I offer no aplogies for Billy's behavior, I wrote this for fun. Unrealistic, perhaps, but so's a big giant floating head. :)
Down And Out
by Kittie
Outside Angel Grove: Monday
Billy sighed restlessly and turned on the radio. Oldies, Rock, R&B, Pop, nothing sounded good to him so he switched it off again. He switched the car into cruise control and decided to relax. It was a long drive out to Marilyn's house, so he might as well make the most of it.
He frowned a little, thinking of Marilyn. She didn't even compare to his mother, as far as he was concerned, and to find out that his father planned to marry her had been a shock. He hadn't seen her much; when she and his father dated, they usually ended up at her house for the night. Besides, Hank rarely shared the details of his private life with his son anymore.
Billy sighed again. He couldn't blame his father for the silence that had developed between him. It had all started with him. _You started it! No, you started it!_ The errant thought flitted through his head and he chuckled a little. His mood immediately darkened, though, when his mind went back to the task at hand.
It had taken Hank days to finally convince Billy to come and have dinner with his "new family." Marilyn had eight year old twin girls. He had met them before, and they tended to have hour-long conversations using the exact words that he had just found so amusing. Of course, when he thought about spending the rest of his life with those two brats as his sisters, those words lost some of their absurd appeal.
He switched on the radio again, determined not to let himself dwell on his problems. Maybe if there was some music on, he could escape reality for just a little while. He found himself flipping stations again and forced his hand away from the knob. _I am going to listen to whatever comes on. No matter what._ He braced himself for what was sure to be the worst possible station on the face of the planet.
Smile, though your heart is aching/Smile even though it's breaking....
Billy groaned and switched off the radio. "Forget it! No way am I listening to that," he growled aloud. _This day just gets worse and worse._
He glowered at the pavement and began to examine his surroundings, soon becoming entranced by the trees lining the roadside. "Oak, I think," he mused thoughtfully. "Red oak." They were beautiful trees, tall and sturdy, with millions of thick, dark leaves. He moved into the right lane to see them better. "Definitely oak," he confirmed, slowing down slightly. The trees seemed to house a whole new world behind their trunks; he could see chipmunks, squirrels, and rabbits out watching the cars go by.
He took his eyes off the road. _It's so beautiful...._ These trees had to be thousands of years old. They had survived the development of Stone Canyon and Angel Grove, and even the building of the interstate. "How did you do it?" he asked the trees. "How do you go on with... with all this?"
Billy switched off the cruise control and pressed his foot down on the gas.
"People come in and destroy your home. They ruin everything and still you stand there."
Faster....
"You would still be there even if I-"
He slammed on the brakes and swerved to the left, the hood of his car missing a massive trunk by just inches. When the car finally stopped moving, he sat there, breathing hard and shaking. "Oh my God...."
Office of Dr. Ashley Lynn, Psychiatrist
AL: Please, come in.
WC: (Nervous) Am I supposed to lie on the couch?
AL: Not if you don't want to. You can sit if you wish.
WC: Oh. (Sits on couch)
AL: So why have you come to see me today?
WC: I think... I need help.
AL: Why do you say that?
WC: I... I don't know how to start.
AL: All right. ...Why don't you start by telling me a bit about yourself?
WC: (Hesitates) Well... I suppose I could do that. What do you want to know?
AL: What do you want to tell me?
WC: (Sigh) Do psychiatrists always answer questions with questions?
AL: Does that bother you?
WC: (Pained) You did it again. ...Yes, it bothers me.
AL: I'm sorry.
WC: (Long pause) Am I supposed to be talking?
AL: If you wish. You were about to tell me about yourself.
WC: Oh. Well I'm 17, I'm a junior in high school-
AL: (Interrupts) How are you doing with that?
WC: School's no real problem. The work, I mean.
AL: What do you mean by that? The work?
WC: I mean, I kind of... have trouble with... people.
AL: Hmmm. How?
WC: I can't... talk to them. I mean, I can, but they don't understand.
AL: (Joking) Is your vocabulary too complex for them?
WC: Yes.
AL: (Long silence) Do you have friends, William?
WC: Please, call me Billy. Everyone does.
AL: Okay, Billy. Do you have friends?
WC: Yes. Sort of. I guess.
AL: You don't sound too sure.
WC: I guess not.
AL: Why is that?
WC: (Sigh) I don't know. They're nice enough but-
AL: (Interrupts) Do they understand you? When you talk?
WC: (Long pause) I stopped talking that way.
AL: I see. What way was that?
WC: I thought that if I changed, everything would work out. You know the old adage: Gramineous organisms are perpetually more verdant when located on an adjacent surface....
AL: Ah.
WC: That's the way I talked all the time. I had to change.
AL: Do you feel they would still be your friends if you had not changed your manner of speaking?
WC: (Pause.) I don't know. ... Anymore.
AL: (Long silence) Billy, how would you describe yourself to me?
WC: What?
AL: Describe yourself to me.
WC: (Pause) What? Describe?
AL: Take your time.
WC: (Long pause) I can't.
AL: Try. We have time.
WC: (Forcefully) No.
AL: (Pause) All right. Tell me, Billy... do you have a girlfriend?
WC: (Pause) No.
AL: Have you?
WC: I've dated....
AL: What happened?
WC: Nothing. I guess that's... that's the problem.
AL: It could be a problem, yes. Why do you think that is?
WC: (Quickly) It's me, it's all me, I know that.
AL: Why do you say that?
WC: It's true.
AL: How so?
WC: It just is. I... it just is.
AL: (Gentle but firm) I can't help you, Billy, if you shut me out.
WC: Shut you out? What?
AL: Have you ever thought about suicide, Billy?
WC: Well, everyone does, you know... sometimes.... (Pause) I didn't even think about it, really, it just happened.
AL: What just happened?
WC: I was on my way to have dinner at Marilyn's house.
AL: Who is Marilyn?
WC: My dad's girlf- Um, fiance.
AL: You don't sound too happy about that.
WC: No.
AL: You don't like her?
WC: (Sigh) She's fine, I guess. She's... fine.
AL: What about your Mom? What does she think about her?
WC: She doesn't. She's dead.
AL: I'm sorry.
WC: Yeah, so's everybody.
AL: What happened?
WC: She was hit by a truck. In Chicago, where we used to live.
AL: How old were you?
WC: Nine.
AL: It must have been hard for you.
WC: Of course it was hard for me. I watched my mother get flattened by a refrigeration truck.
AL: You were there?
WC: (Pause) Yes.
AL: It still bothers you.
WC: We're not talking about that, I was trying to tell you about Monday.
AL: I'm sorry. What happened Monday?
WC: (Sigh) I was on my way to Marilyn's house. We've been through this.
AL: Yes, I'm sorry. Go on.
WC: It's a long drive and I hate long drives, so I was watching the trees by the roadside. They were these gorgeous red oaks, and I was thinking how they must be so old and how they'd survived all the development here and the building of the interstate and... everything. And I started... I started heading toward the trees. I guess I knew what I was doing, I just... it seemed right. And just at the last minute I stopped and swerved away.
AL: Did you realize what you had almost done?
WC: Yes.
AL: What were you thinking afterwards?
WC: I don't know. I was scared, I guess.
AL: You don't want to die, do you?
WC: (Long silence) I guess not.
AL: You're not sure? Whether you want to live or not?
WC: I.... Of course I want to live. I have... responsibilities.
AL: Did what happened Monday scare you?
WC: Yes.
AL: Why?
WC: Because! I almost died! It happened so damned fast-
AL: I understand that you're frightened, Billy, and I want to help you. (Pause.) But I think I could be a better help if we checked you into a hospital for a few days.
WC: (Shocked) What? Why?
AL: An attempted suicide is a very serious matter. You need care, and more than I can do for you in one hour a week.
WC: You're overreacting-
AL: You've thought about suicide. And more than once.
WC: (Quickly) Not seriously. I never planned it or anything-
AL: That's exactly what worries me. You didn't plan it.
WC: Look, I'm not suicidal, I just spaced out, that's all. It was dangerous and stupid, but it was not a suicide attempt. You're blowing this way out of proportion!
AL: I'm only suggesting this for your own good. You need-
WC: No! I can't do it. Just drop it, okay? (Storms out of office.)
AL: (Into phone) Carol, please call Mr. Henry Cranston for me. I need to speak with him. It's urgent.
Angel Grove Hospital, Psychiatric Ward
Room 3C
Hank Cranston sat watching his son. Billy was still shaking, still crying. He hadn't looked at him since the exam. He could tell that Billy was angry and upset, and had tried to explain that all of this was for his own good, but the boy seemed unreachable. Hank sighed and decided to give it another go.
"Billy, look at me," he pleaded, approaching the bed. Billy turned away and drew the thin hospital gown tighter over his body, shivering. Hank took off his jacket and draped it over the boy, but it was immediately thrown back in his face. "Son, don't shut me out, please."
"Just shut up!" Billy's voice was harsh with unshed tears and rage, and Hank drew back, shocked. Billy hadn't even turned around, but Hank could still see the burning emptiness that was surely filling his eyes. He turned and ran.
* * *
Billy lay there, crying and alone. Part of him wanted to cry out to his father, and beg him to come back, but the anger and confusion was too great. "Please," he whimpered helplessly. "I want to go home...."
* * *
"Do you think we should knock?" Adam and Rocky stood outside the door to 3C uncertainly. "What if he doesn't want to see us?"
Hank smiled sadly. "He'll see you, Adam, I'm sure. He's just angry with me, that's all. He'll be glad to see some friendly faces."
Rocky gulped, scared to death he'd accidentally say something to upset Billy. "Okay. So let's... go?"
Adam took a deep breath and knocked on the door. "Billy?" No answer. He opened the door slowly and peeked in. "Billy? It's me, Adam. And Rocky."
A blonde head slowly poked out from under the sheets. "Adam?"
The boys stepped inside hesitantly. "Hi, Billy," said Rocky shyly. "What's up?"
Billy glared at the door, spotting Hank outside. "Shut the door, please," he said coldly. Adam meekly did as he was told. "What are you doing here?" Once Hank was out of sight, Billy's tone softened significantly.
"Um... well, we knew you were... you know, not feeling well, and we wanted to make sure you were okay."
Billy made a face. "Yeah, sure. I gotta get out of here."
Rocky wandered over to the window and tested the bars. "It's... cold."
"Yeah, I know. I... I don't belong here."
"Of course not." Adam took a seat by the bed.
"Listen, can you guys get me a cheeseburger or something," said Billy suddenly. "I'm starved."
"Um, sure, I guess we-"
Rocky was suddenly and violently interrupted. "What did Zordon say?"
"What?"
"Does Zordon know? About this?" Billy looked significantly alarmed.
"I... yes, we talked to him-"
"Why? What did he say? Is he going to kick me off the team? What if-"
"Whoa, whoa, slow down!" Rocky held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "No, he's not going to kick you off, what gave you that idea?"
"I..." Billy sank back into the pillows. "I don't know." He stared off into space. "I just want to go home. I don't belong here. You don't think I'm crazy, do you?"
"No." Adam considered. "I've thought about it, too, you know. What you thought about."
"How do you know what I've thought about?"
Adam shrugged as Rocky stared at him, obviously shocked, but neither one of them spoke.
"Did you ever... do anything?" Billy's voice was soft, unsure.
"No." Adam shook his head. "Just thought."
"She's got me all wrong," Billy muttered, mostly to himself. "I'm not what she thinks I am."
Rocky cleared his throat. "Think I'll go... to Burger King. You want a Whopper, Billy?"
"Oh, yeah," Billy moaned. "That would be orgasmic."
Rocky backed out of the room. "Great. I'll get you two, all right? And fries."
"Oh, screaming double orgasm!"
"Stop talking like that!" Rocky covered his ears. "You know I hate that!" He fled the room as Adam and Billy broke up laughing.
Outside, Hank heard the laughter and smiled to himself. _Maybe he'll be all right._
* * *
Dr. Lynn walked into the small hospital room, sighing. She had a feeling this wasn't going to go well.
AL: Good afternoon, Billy.
WC: Yeah.
AL: So how have you been?
WC: I don't know.
AL: Better? Worse?
WC: Yes.
AL: I see.
WC: I'm sorry I yelled at you. I guess I understand your... concern.
AL: I'm glad. Have you spoken with your father?
WC: (Pause) No. And I don't plan to.
AL: I thought you understood?
WC: He should have trusted me. He should have believed me.
AL: You're angry.
WC: No shit, Sherlock. ... Sorry.
AL: I've heard worse. Your friends have been to see you?
WC: Yes. Adam, Rocky, Tommy... all of them.
AL: These are your friends? (Picks up a small framed picture on the bed table)
WC: (Smiles) Yes. Aisha brought that for me. She said she thought it would help cheer me up.
AL: Did it?
WC: Yeah.
AL: Which one is Adam?
WC: (Points) There. In black.
AL: He has a nice face. Very expressive eyes.
WC: Yeah. That's Aisha, and that's Tommy, next to him is Kim, and Rocky is in red. I'm in the back there.
AL: Why are you in the back?
WC: I don't know. I'm always in the back.
AL: Always?
WC: I don't know, just drop it. Why do you have to make such a big deal of everything?
AL: Billy, if you don't get along with me, we can always find you someone else. I only want to help you, and if that means turning your case over to someone else, I will.
WC: You just want to keep me locked up in here.
AL: (Long pause) I want you out of here as much as you do, but for a different reason. When you leave, I want you to be on the road to recovery. I can't discharge you without being sure you'll be all right on your own.
WC: Look, I told you I'm not going to do anything stupid!
AL: I'm sorry, but that's not good enough.
WC: What do you want from me? What?
AL: I'm going to recommend a group session. I want to bring in your father and your friends, and we can discuss how they can help you through this.
WC: What? No!
AL: Why not?
WC: I don't want their pity. I don't need them to take care of me-
AL: That's not what I said. Billy, you can't do this alone. You have to trust that the people you love will be there for you. You need to be open with them. They're frightened for you.
WC: (Sullen) How do you know?
AL: Tell me what you want. What do you want me to do?
WC: I don't know. How am I supposed to-
AL: You came to me, Billy. Don't forget that.
WC: (Harshly) Well, it was obviously a mistake!
AL: I don't think so. You were frightened and you knew you needed help. I can provide that help, but only if you cooperate.
WC: Go to Hell.
AL: (Pause) I'm referring your case to a friend of mine. I think you may be able to work with him.
WC: (Sarcastically) Whatever. Don't trip on your way out.
* * *
A tall, dark-skinned man knocked quietly on the door to 3C and entered. "Billy?"
The lump in the bed shifted and a sullen voice floated out. "What do you want?"
"My name is Dr. Mario Saldanas. Dr. Lynn referred you to me?"
"Oh." The lump seemed to roll over.
Dr. Saldanas smiled and moved closer. _Ashley was right about this one,_ he thought. _A real handful, this kid. Well, if he thinks he can drive me off, he's got another think coming._
He walked right up to the side of the bed and leaned down to when he thought the boy's head should be. "All right, kid, I'm giving you one chance to come out from under those sheets and look at me."
No response.
"Come on, Billy-boy, I don't have all day."
Nothing.
Saldanas smiled. _Good. I was hoping he'd say that._ He grabbed the top of the sheet and yanked the covers down.
"Hey!" the boy shouted, grabbing at the covers. "What the Hell do you think-"
"I think I'm doing my job," responded Saldanas matter-of-factly. He looked the boy over. He was muscular, and looked quite a bit older than the tender age of seventeen. His eyes were wide, and he looked up with a combination of anger and shock. "Relax, kid. You don't have anything I haven't seen before."
The boy blushed and grabbed the sheet away, covering himself up to his neck. He knew better than to try covering any more than that.
"I saw your dad out there," Saldanas told him, motioning toward the closed door.
"So?"
"He's worried about you." The boy let out a rude snort, and Saldanas glared at him. "He is. It's tearing him up that you won't talk to him."
"If he cared about me, he wouldn't have let them do this to me."
"All right, that's it," Saldanas growled. He leaned in close to the boy's face. "You listen to me. You are not here because of Dr. Lynn, and you are not here because of your father. You are here because you tried to kill yourself. I don't want to hear about how your father doesn't care about you or how horrible this place is, because it's crap. You got yourself into this and it's up to you to get yourself out. Now either you cooperate with me and your father or you can spend the rest of your life rotting away in this room, got it?" He straightened and started to walk out.
"Wait!"
Saldanas turned around and saw the boy sitting up, staring at him wide-eyed.
"Don't go, I'm sorry. Wait!"
He smiled to himself before he turned. _Bullseye._
* * *
Adam, Rocky, Tommy, Aisha, and Kimberly uncomfortably followed Hank into Billy's room. Hank had told them a few days before about this group meeting, and they were positive that Billy wasn't too happy about it. Their fears were confirmed when he scowled angrily as they entered the room. "Oh, good," he said sarcastically. "My babysitters are here."
Kim approached him slowly. "I'm sorry, Billy," she said. "We didn't want to upset you."
"Don't mind him," said the man in the corner. "He's just mad because I called him a crybaby."
They turned to see a dark-skinned, middle-aged man with his hands folded across his chest, smirking at Billy. Billy glared right back at him.
The man laughed at the teens' shocked expressions. "I should probably introduce myself. I'm Dr. Mario Saldanas, otherwise known as 'The Pain in Billy's Ass.' You must be The Friends."
Tommy stepped forward. "I'm Tommy. This is Kim, Aisha, Rocky, and Adam."
"Nice to meet you. Billy has mentioned you a few times."
"He did?" Rocky glanced at Billy, who still looked really mad. "What did he say?"
"Nothing but good things, don't worry," said Saldanas as he stood. "We ought to get started. Do y'all know why you're here?"
Rocky nodded.
"Why?" questioned Saldanas.
"Uh..." Rocky was caught off guard. "To... help Billy?"
"I see you were paying attention."
Rocky looked down at his feet, embarrassed.
"That's right, to help Billy. I know it seems like all we're doing is making him mad, but trust me, he'll get over it."
Hank, who had taken a seat at Billy's side, spoke for the first time. "What can we do?"
"Well, for starters, you can be here for him. Just like you are now."
Aisha looked shyly at Billy. "You know we want you to be okay, Billy," she said. "I wish you'd talk to us. I didn't know you were... upset."
"Aisha, right?" Saldanas asked. She nodded. "First thing you have to know, is that you cannot help Billy. He has to help himself. But you can help him help himself."
"What?" Aisha bit her lip. "I don't understand."
"Of course you don't. That's why I'm the doctor and you are not. What I mean is... you can be there for him, willing to listen, but he won't talk to you until he's ready. He's not ready yet, obviously, but he will be."
"Why are we here, if he's not ready?" asked Adam. The group looked at him, surprised. He had been strangely quiet ever since Hank had asked them to come here.
Saldanas directed his answer toward Billy. "I want this to become an integral part of your recovery. I know Dr. Lynn suggested this before, and I agree with her. You trust your friends in a way you don't trust doctors. And parents." He looked sympathetically at Hank, who smiled sadly. "I think your friends can help you, if you let them. Talk to them. Tell them what's bothering you. You have a tendency to hold things in, and it hurts you more than you realize. Would they have come here if they didn't care? Look at them, they're scared stiff! Look at Rocky, I think he's about to faint." Rocky jumped at the mention of his name. "You see? Would he be that nervous if he wasn't concerned about you? I think not. And Aisha? You heard her, she wants you to be okay. Doesn't that sound like she cares?"
Billy grunted and Saldanas laughed. "He doesn't want to admit I'm right," he said. "But seriously, you kids are doing a good thing, coming to visit all the time. He'll appreciate it, eventually."
"Are we... supposed to come... together? All the time?"
"No, Tommy, not all the time, but probably... once a week? I want us to be able to discuss things as a group. Sometimes I may ask you all to act as his 'therapist.' Just to come and discuss, without me, without Hank. He'll tell you things he wouldn't tell us, and I think that will be good for him."
"You want us to squeal on him?" Rocky was starting to get mad. "That's... that's low! It-"
"Calm down, Rocky, calm down! Of course I don't want you to... squeal on him. That would be just plain wrong."
"Oh."
"I want you all to understand what's bothering him. I have a feeling that's important to his recovery." Saldanas turned back to Billy. "So, there you have it. You can glare at me all you want, but you know as well as I do that this is a good thing. Tell him, Tommy."
"Uh... it's a good thing?"
"Good. You see? Tommy knows."
"Get out," growled Billy.
Saldanas grinned at him. "Certainly. I'll leave you to your new therapists. Hank? Shall we have lunch?"
Hank hugged Billy gently, ignoring his attempts to pull away, and then followed Saldanas out. "Have fun with your friends, Billy," he said. "I'll bring back a candy bar."
Billy glared at the door as it closed. "Son of a-" he burst out.
Kim approached him first. "I'm sorry, Billy, I know you didn't want-"
"Yeah, yeah, everyone's sorry. I hate being pitied by everyone, so just stop it."
She stepped back, eyes tearing. "I'm sorry."
He looked at her, his eyes softening. "I'm sorry. Don't cry. I didn't mean to...."
She leapt forward and grabbed him in a hug. "I thought you hated me!"
"No...." After a moment's thought, he hugged her back. "I know you only wanted to help."
The others slowly gathered around. "That guy's... a little gruff, isn't he?" said Aisha. "No wonder you don't like him."
Billy grunted. "He's an ass."
"But he's right," said Adam.
Billy glared at him. "Et tu, Brute?" he quoted.
"You know better than that," said Adam softly. "I want you to get better as much as anybody. Maybe more. You're my best friend, and I could have... you could have been gone, just like that. I thought about this for a long time, Billy. Maybe it's not normal. Maybe you need... someone like him."
Rocky put a hand on Adam's shoulder. "Hey, just let it go, okay?"
"I can't," Adam shook him off. "I just can't." He turned and walked out abruptly, leaving Billy staring intently after him.
"He just needs time," said Tommy hurriedly. "He's been upset."
"Yeah." Billy cut him off. "I know."
* * *
It was bright and early on a Wednesday morning. The sun was shining, the birds chirping.... But you'd never know it from the dark mood in room 3C.
MS: Good morning. If it is one.
WC: Yeah, right.
MS: I see you're in just about as good a mood as I am. Good. I was afraid you were going to try to cheer me up.
WC: Fat chance, Fredo.
MS: Whooo! Harsh words from a guy in a paper gown.
WC: Shut up about that, already! We've been through this!
MS: So we have. What's on your mind, this morning, Billy?
WC: What isn't?
MS: Pick something.
WC: (Sighs) Why in the world did you drag my friends in here?
MS: Weren't you listening? I explained this already.
WC: Well, your reasoning is flawed.
MS: How so?
WC: It's not going to help me at all if you insist on embarrassing me in front of my friends.
MS: I didn't embarrass you.
WC: Yes you did. You made me sit there while you talked about me like I wasn't there.
MS: Ah, my young friend, it is your reasoning that is flawed. You didn't have to sit there and be talked about like you weren't there. You could have made an effort to reach out to them, and to involve yourself in the discussion, but you didn't. You chose to sit there and sulk.
WC: What else could I do? You practically told them I was a nutcase!
MS: Nope. Wrong again. And you're supposed to be this genius kid? I'll believe that when I see it.
WC: Cut the crap and get to the point.
MS: My point is that this only has to be as hard as you make it. If you continue to push me and your friends away, your recovery will be that much slower. (Long silence) I saw your friend Adam rush out of there not long after Hank and I left. What happened?
WC: (Sigh) He got upset.
MS: No, really? I thought he just had to go to the bathroom. Come on, Billy, be straight with me.
WC: Fine! Damn you....
MS: No thanks, I got one at the courtesy desk.
WC: What?!
MS: Nothing. Please, continue.
WC: God, I'm working with a comedian.
MS: That would be true except for one thing. You're not working with me. I'm still waiting on that. Now, what was wrong with Adam?
WC: If you must know-
MS: I must.
WC: We were all complaining about you and he got mad.
MS: Because you were complaining about me? I think I like this kid.
WC: Aisha said you were a bit gruff and I said you were an ass-
MS: Thank you, I try.
WC: And Adam said... he said....
MS: Don't be shy, what did he say?
WC: He said you might be exactly what I need.
MS: Now I know I like this kid. Can I have his phone number?
WC: I said... I said, "Et tu, Brute?" And he-
MS: Ah, Shakespeare. The bard of-
WC: Can I finish, please?
MS: Certainly.
WC: I said, "Et tu, brute," and he got mad and ran off.
MS: You skipped something there, chum.
WC: (Harshly) How do you know? Were you listening?
MS: No, but you just confirmed my suspicions, didn't you? You gotta stay on your toes, Billy, that wasn't very hard at all.
WC: For crying out loud....
MS: So? What did you skip?
WC: I skipped the part where he said he was scared because... I could have... I could have died, just like that... and it would have been over. And he didn't even know....
MS: Hard to hear, isn't it? To hear how much you can affect someone without even realizing it? Adam really cares about you, doesn't he?
WC: Yes.
MS: All of them do.
WC: Yes. I guess so.
MS: You don't guess, you know.
WC: You don't know what I know. How do you know what I know and what I don't know?
MS: Are you saying you don't know?
WC: No! Yes! I don't know....
MS: You don't know if you don't know or you don't know if you're saying you don't know?
WC: Stop it!
MS: What? It was an honest question!
WC: Well, yes!
MS: Yes, what?
WC: (Sigh) Dammit...
MS: I'm a baaaaad boy.
WC: Cut that out.
MS: You ever seen them? Abbot and Costello? Hysterical.
WC: Whatever.
MS: What were we saying?
WC: I don't know.
MS: That's right! So... you don't know if you know or if you don't know, or you don't know if you're saying you don't know, or you just don't know what the Hell is going on anymore?
WC: (Wearily) The last one.
MS: Yeah. That's what I thought.
WC: I really hurt him, didn't I?
MS: Adam? I'd say so, yes. He's scared for you. He's afraid of losing you.
WC: I guess I didn't realize he really cared. I mean, I knew he cared, but... not like that, you know? Not... not so much.
MS: Why not? You said you hung out with him a lot, and you talked....
WC: Yeah.
MS: So why didn't that indicate to you that he cared?
WC: Well... he can talk to anybody. He can find someone else to... give him the same things I give him.
MS: That's a horrible thing to say! Are you saying you can just replace people like flat tires when they're gone?
WC: Well... I don't know. No.
MS: If something happened to Adam, could you just "go get another one?"
WC: Of course not.
MS: How about Tommy? He seemed like a pretty generic type of guy.
WC: I'm going to tell him you said that.
MS: Please don't. He may be generic, but he could kick my ass.
WC: (Chokes back a laugh)
MS: Aw, don't be afraid to laugh at me. I won't hold it against you.
WC: Well....
MS: Anyway, you didn't answer my question. Could you just find another long-haired karate guy to fill Tommy's shoes?
WC: No.
MS: Aisha?
WC: No.
MS: So what makes you think they could just find another you?
WC: It's not necessarily me they like. It could just be my... my brains. The help they get on their math homework and... other stuff.
MS: You don't believe that, do you?
WC: I don't know.
MS: Tell me what's special about Kimberly.
WC: What?
MS: What's special about her that's not special about anyone else in the world?
WC: Well, she's really sweet, and she's popular but she still doesn't mind hanging out with... well, with geeks like me. She always takes me on impromptu park picnics when I'm upset-
MS: (Interrupts) impromptu park picnics?
WC: Yeah. Unplanned picnics by the lake in Angel Grove Park.
MS: That's nice.
WC: Yeah. I always look forward to those.
MS: So if you found another sweet, popular, pretty girl who took you on park picnics, you could easily replace Kim with her, right?
WC: No.
MS: Uh-huh. Are you getting my point, here?
WC: (Sigh) Yeah. I know what you're saying, but....
MS: But what? Are you that reluctant to believe you're something special?
WC: What?
MS: Here's you. (Holds up his hand) Take away the intellect. (Folds down one of the fingers) Take away the practical skills. (Folds down the others, leaving a fist) What's left?
WC: Nothing.
MS: WRONG! (Shakes his fist mock-threateningly) You. That's what's left.
WC: But without those things, I-
MS: No, Billy. You are not made up of what you can do. Didn't you just say that someone else with Kimberly's exact qualities would still not be Kimberly?
WC: Well, yes, but-
MS: But what? How are you different from her?
WC: I'm... I don't know.
MS: You have a very low self image, you know that? I got a good look at you that first day-
WC: Shut up.
MS: And what I saw wasn't at all bad. But I'll bet you think you're ugly, don't you?
WC: Well... I'm not Tommy. I'm not Adam or Rocky. Or Jason or Zack. They're all... good looking.
MS: We're not talking about them.
WC: I know, but...
MS: Pretend you'd never in your life seen Tommy or Adam or Rocky or whoever the Hell else you just mentioned. Then would you consider yourself attractive?
WC: (Blushing) Can we stop talking about this?
MS: You've got nice eyes. My wife would call them bedroom eyes, I think.
WC: Oh God...
MS: Good arms. Do you work out?
WC: Please....
MS: You have a very nice face. A lot of women go nuts over guys like you. You have that cleft in your chin. Women like that. And-
WC: CUT IT OUT!
MS: (Long pause) You don't take compliments well, do you?
WC: No. So cut it out.
MS: Why? Why don't you take compliments well?
WC: Can we please, please drop this?
MS: No, really, why? Can't you just say thank you and leave it at that?
WC: Well... you... shouldn't accept undeserved compliments.
MS: Uh-huh. Undeserved, eh?
WC: Let's just end this right now, okay? I can't talk about this.
MS: Ah, a sensitive spot! All right! Two in one day!
WC: Two?
MS: You can't take compliments and you can't believe that someone would actually care about you just because you're you. Have I hit it on the head?
WC: I... I don't know. That doesn't sound right.
MS: That's because it's too close to you. It's like trying to see the bridge of your nose. No matter how far you cross your eyes, you can't see it clearly.
WC: So what are we going to do, take a picture or something?
MS: No, then you'd see it backwards, smart-ass. We have to move it far away enough for you to see it. Then we can work on reshaping it.
WC: Stop it with the nose analogy, already.
MS: I was thinking of getting a Brad Pitt nose. What do you think?
* * *
Adam was on his way to Billy's hospital room when a voice called out to him. "Hey, Adam, wait a second!"
Adam stopped, confused. He didn't recognize the voice. He turned and saw Billy's shrink jogging toward him. "Uh... yes?"
The man smiled and grabbed his hand, shaking it vigorously. "Adam, m'boy, I have to say that out of all of Billy's friends, you are my favorite!"
"I am?"
"Yes! He told me what you said."
"He did?"
"Yes. About me being just what he needed. I'm flattered, really.
"You are?"
The man stepped back and regarded him skeptically, one eyebrow raised. "Do you always talk in two-word sentences?"
Adam blushed and looked down at the floor. "No," he muttered.
Saldanas laughed. "Of course you don't. Listen, Adam, you are going to be a big part of Billy's recovery."
"I am? I mean...."
"I know what you mean. Walk with me?" Saldanas started down the hallway toward Billy. After a moment's hesitation, Adam followed. "You're skipping school, aren't you, Adam?" Saldanas grinned at him, elbowing him in the ribs.
"Uhh... well we didn't have any tests or anything...."
"Hey, it's all right," the man assured him, "but don't tell anyone I said so. Billy'll be glad to see someone his own age. Especially if it's you."
"Why me?"
"Well, you said yourself that you two are best friends."
"How did you know that?"
"Billy told me. But that's beside the point. He's very important to you, isn't he?"
"Well, yeah. He's my friend, that's pretty important."
"Best friend. That's even more important."
"I guess." Adam stopped in front of Billy's door and crossed his arms. "So what's your point?"
Saldanas looked surprised. "Point? There is no point." He winked at Adam and started away. "Just remember all that when you go in there. He can be a bit hard to love lately. 'Til later!" Saldanas waved and jogged to catch the elevator before the doors closed.
Adam stared after him for a moment, puzzling over what had just transpired between them. Unable to make sense of anything, he gave up and knocked softly on the door. "Billy?"
There was an excited squeal from inside. "Adam?!"
Adam chuckled and opened the door, slipping inside. Billy was sitting in bed, wearing his own clothes for once. "Hi."
"Why aren't you in school?" Billy turned off the television and jumped to his feet, running to give Adam a hug.
Startled, Adam hesitated a moment before hugging him back. "Um... well, we weren't doing anything important today...."
"I'm sorry, Adam," said Billy suddenly.
"What?"
"I'm sorry. For everything." Billy hadn't let go of him yet, and was speaking softly into his ear. Adam was starting to feel distinctly uncomfortable. Billy had never been too fond of physical contact.
"Um, well, you know.... It's okay."
"No, it's not." Billy finally released the hug and stepped back, though he kept a tight hold on Adam's arms. "I really hurt you. All of you. And I'm sorry."
"Oh." Adam couldn't think of what to say. Billy was obviously waiting for something.... "Um... I forgive you?"
Billy grinned. "Oh, come on, Adam, you do not." He let go of Adam and went back to the bed, sitting on its edge. "Have a seat." He motioned to the chair in the corner.
Adam obeyed and dragged the chair closer to the bed. "So when do you get out of here?"
"Soon. Saldanas says maybe in a few days. If I'm lucky, tomorrow. But he wants to be sure first."
"Sure of what?"
"You know, that I'm not gonna blow my brains out or anything."
Adam blanched. "Oh. Well, are you?"
"Of course not. I hate to admit it, but you were right."
"About what?"
"Saldanas. He's only an asshole when I force him to be. If I play nice, he's actually pretty fun. And he makes a lot of sense when I actually listen to him."
"Oh."
"And you know, Adam, I have you to thank."
"What? For what?"
"When I saw how upset you were, it really hit me. I looked harder at everything. At you, at the guys, even at Dad. You guys don't just hang around for the perks-"
"Perks?"
"You know, free tutoring, repaired televisions and the like."
"What?! Of course not! How could you-"
"I don't know, I just did." Billy cut him off with a wave of his hand. "When you stormed out of here that day, and I didn't see you for a while, it finally dawned on me how... how much all of this had affected you. I still maintain that I never had any intention to do anything, but I was carrying around a lot of baggage. I still am. Saldanas helped a little, of course, but without you, I probably wouldn't have seen it."
"But what about the others? Rocky was pretty upset, too, and Aisha-"
"Yeah, I noticed that. But something inside me kept insisting they didn't really care about me. That it was just the...."
"The perks?"
"Yeah."
"But why? How could you think that?"
"Easily. All my life people have wanted me for my brains. Back in Chicago, there was a group of kids that would only hang out with me if I did their homework for them. As lonely as I was, I did it gladly and thanked them for consenting to be seen with me."
"My God...!"
"I know. So when I got to Angel Grove, I was distrustful. Sure, Jason and the others were nice enough, and they seemed to genuinely like me, but... I was part of the team. They had to like me."
"Didn't you guys hand out before the team?"
"Yeah. But it takes a long time for me to be able to trust someone completely. I hadn't reached that stage yet when Zordon and his magical coins came along."
The last bit came out sounding a little sarcastic, and Adam gulped a little as he asked, "Um... do you have something against Zordon?"
"What? Oh, I don't know. Yes. I know for a fact that he only wants me so his precious team is complete. That became obvious when he replaced Jason, Zack, and Trini as if they were nothing more than worn out socks." Seeing Adam's blush, he hurriedly added, "No offense."
"Uh... right. None taken," he lied.
"He'll replace me as soon as he thinks it's beneficial to him. I'm defective, you see." Billy's face darkened and Adam felt a distinct chill.
"Um... maybe you should talk to Saldanas about this.... Oh."
"I can't," Billy reminded him, though Adam had already figured it out on his own. "We must never reveal our identities," he intoned in his best Zordon impression. "Besides, if I told him I was a Power Ranger, he'd really think I was a whack job. He'd lock me up til doomsday."
"Probably," agreed Adam gloomily.
"Besides, what does it matter? Saldanas can't do anything about that." The two boys were quiet for a long time, Billy brooding over Zordon's apparent indifference, and Adam brooding over Billy's bitterness over Zordon's apparent indifference. Billy finally broke the silence. "Hey," he said brightly, "Wanna get some lunch?"
* * *
Adam listened carefully as Zordon gave the team instructions on how best to defeat the Peanut Cutter monster. Somehow, he kept hearing echoes of Billy in everything the ancient sage said. "You are undermanned, with Billy in the hospital...." Adam was positive he detected some annoyance in Zordon's tone. "Alpha will make sure you can call upon the Wolf Zord when you need it...."
_We don't need Billy at all, is that what you're saying Zordon?_ Adam shook his head and tried to focus on the instructions, but couldn't do it.
Apparently, Zordon noticed. ADAM, IS SOMETHING WRONG? he boomed, and Adam jumped.
"Uh.. no! Nothing wrong, nothing at all. Why would anything be wrong?"
Rocky looked at him sharply and Adam blushed. Tommy sighed. "Come on, guys, let's roast this Peanut Cutter. It's Morphin' Time!"
"Red Ranger Power!"
"Yellow Ranger Power!"
"Black Ranger Power!"
"Pink Ranger Power!"
"White Ranger Power!"
The teens teleported into Angel Grove Park. When Peanut Cutter saw them, he grinned and released the four citizens he'd been terrorizing. They scurried away without a backward glance. "Ah, Power Rangers! Now I shall have the pleasure of destroying you!"
"NOT!" yelled Kimberly, and she charged. The other Rangers followed suit, and as per usual, had subdued the monster within a matter of minutes. Also as per usual, Zedd sent down his magic potion and Peanut Cutter grew to immense proportions.
"All right, guys," ordered Tommy, "Let's do this."
"Ninja Ape Zord!"
"Ninja Bear Zord!"
"Ninja Frog Zord!"
"Ninja Crane Zord!"
"Ninja Falcon Zord!"
And then, at Alpha's prompt, the Wolf Zord bounded out of its hiding place and ran to join its comrades.
* * *
Billy heard a familiar sound coming from Angel Grove Park and felt a distinct chill. He stopped in the middle of a sentence and moved to the window as if in a trance. Saldanas glanced at Hank, who could merely shrug. They both watched him curiously.
Billy looked out the window and saw an old friend, fighting alongside its teammates. Tears rose to his eyes. "The wolf...." he whispered. His hand went to touch the cold glass, and his lower lip began to tremble. He bit down on it, willing the tears back down. It didn't work, and finally he gave up. He sank to the floor and curled up into the fetal position, sobbing.
Hank ran to him and gathered him into a hug, trying to soothe him, but not knowing how. Saldanas merely sat; and observed.
* * *
Once Peanut Cutter had been dispatched, the Rangers teleported back to the Command Center. They demorphed and Tommy grinned. "Hey, good job, guys! Zordon, your idea worked great!"
Zordon seemed to smile within his inter dimensional prison. THANK YOU, TOMMY, BUT YOU RANGERS DESERVE THE CREDIT. IF PEANUT CUTTER HAD BEEN ALLOWED TO GO FREE, HE WOULD HAVE CAUSE IRREPARABLE DAMAGE TO THE CITY. I COMMEND YOU ALL.
Rocky slapped Tommy on the back and the girls smiled at one another. Adam stood in the corner, sulking, but no one seemed to notice. He decided to change that. "Excuse me," he said icily.
They all looked at him in surprise. "What's wrong, Adam?" Tommy grinned. "We kicked that monster's ass, man!"
Adam glared at him. "Don't you see what's happening here? Geezus, Zordon, what do you need us for? Just pilot the Zords by your damn self and leave us out of it." And he abruptly teleported away.
Tommy's mouth fell open, and Zordon shook his head disapprovingly. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT ADAM, he said. THIS SITUATION WITH BILLY HAS HIM ON EDGE. HE WILL COME AROUND IN TIME.
"Billy will, too, right, Zordon?" Aisha looked hopeful, but not too sure. Zordon didn't answer her. He just stared down at them grimly. "Zordon? Billy will get better, right? He can rejoin to team...." Aisha's voice trailed off and she bit her bottom lip. Zordon finally spoke.
RANGERS, YOU MUST BE PREPARED FOR THE POSSIBILITY THAT BILLY IS SIMPLY TOO UNSTABLE TO REMAIN A MEMBER OF THIS TEAM. IF IT BECOMES NECESSARY, I WILL HAVE TO REPLACE HIM.
Kimberly gasped. "Zordon, no! We can't do that to him! We can't just... kick him off the team!"
KIMBERLY, THE TRANSFER WILL ONLY TAKE PLACE IF IT IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. BUT AS YOU KNOW, IT IS IMPORTANT FOR THE TEAM TO BE AT FULL STRENGTH. THE FATE OF THE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT.
"But what about Billy? What about his... fate?" Rocky spoke quietly, solemnly. "You didn't see him, Zordon. He was so scared you'd get rid of him. He knew. He... it'll kill him. Please."
There was no answer. Rocky's shoulders slumped and he teleported out without another word. Kimberly followed, then Aisha. Tommy stood there for a moment, torn. Was his final allegiance to the team, or to its leader? He looked up at Zordon as if for an answer, but got none. With a sigh, he followed his friends.
Alpha moaned. "Ai-yi-yi. Zordon, we have a problem."
* * *
Adam walked slowly down the hall toward 3C. He was unsure of whether or not he could visit; he thought he remembered Hank mentioning regular two o'clock sessions. But he kept going.
He reached the door and knocked hesitantly. No one answered. "Billy?" He opened the door slowly. "Oh my God...." He ran forward and fell to his knees at Billy's side. "Billy, what's wrong?"
Adam had to strain to hear Billy's answer, since his face was buried in Hank's shirt. "The wolf," he sobbed. "It's gone... my wolf."
Adam blanched. "No, Billy it's not gone. Really. Everything will be okay-"
"How can you say that?" Billy turned abruptly away from Hank and faced him, his eyes dark and haunted. "How? Don't you see? He doesn't need me! He doesn't care!"
"Well, I care! All of us care, you don't need him!"
"I do," Billy turned back to his father's embrace, swiping halfheartedly at his eyes. "I need him."
Adam started to say something, anything, to comfort his friend, but found that nothing would come. There was nothing to say. A hand fell on his shoulder and he looked up into Saldanas' grim face. The man motioned toward the door and walked out. After a moment's thought, Adam stood and followed.
* * *
Saldanas looked up and smiled slightly as Adam exited the room. "Walk with me?" he said. Adam obeyed, and Saldanas led him to the elevator, down to the main floor, and out into the street, all without speaking. They had walked about four feet from the hospital before Adam's patience ran out. "Well, are we going to talk or not?"
Saldanas looked down at him, seemingly startled. "Well, of course. This isn't a date, or anything. I'm a married man."
"I know that!"
Saldanas stopped walking and stared up into the sky. "Adam, I'm going to ask you a question, and I want an honest answer."
"A question?" There was something in the man's tone that Adam didn't like. He gulped nervously. "What kind of question?"
"Are there different kinds? Actually, don't answer that, you're right. It's a personal question. At least I think it is, if my hunch is right."
Adam started to back away. "Your hunch?"
Saldanas raised an eyebrow. "You look a bit nervous, Adam. Something wrong?"
"Uh... no, of course not. What could be wrong?"
"All right." Saldanas paused, then took a deep breath. "Billy's the Blue Ranger, isn't he?"
Adam gasped and turned to run, but Saldanas' hand clamped down on his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. "I think we need to talk, my friend," he said.
* * *
MS: Have a seat, Adam.
AP: Um... thanks. (Remains standing)
MS: Well?
AP: What?
MS: Aren't you going to sit?
AP: Oh. (Sits down hesitantly) Shouldn't you go back and see if Billy's okay?
MS: Hank's in there with him. He'll be all right for a while.
AP: Oh.
MS: So....
AP: So....
MS: The Blue Ranger. Hmmm....
AP: Yeah, go fig. (Nervous laughter)
MS: Which one are you?
AP: (Panicked) What?
MS: Which Ranger? You have to be a Ranger, if you knew what he was talking about. Which you did.
AP: Um....
MS: Besides, if you weren't a Ranger, how would you know he was a Ranger?
AP: Ummm...
MS: So which one are you?
AP: I'm not... allowed to....
MS: Adam, you're not really telling me anything I don't already know. I know Billy's a Ranger, I know you're a Ranger, I just don't know which color you are.
AP: (Hesitates) Um... I'm the black one.
MS: Oh. I've always been partial to black.
AP: Me too. (Jumps slightly) But you can't tell anyone!
MS: I wouldn't dream of it. They'd think I'd gone nuts. A couple of teenagers? Please.
AP: Oh.
MS: (Long pause) So how long have you guys been Rangers?
AP: Well, I've only been one for just over a year. But Billy's always been a Ranger. I mean, ever since they first... came.
MS: Ah. I assume those were the responsibilities he told Ashley about.
AP: What?
MS: Oh, his first psychiatrist gave me his file. They had discussed... things... and he mentioned responsibilities he had, but he wouldn't say what they were.
AP: Oh, yeah that was probably... it.
MS: So you guys made pretty fast work of that monster today.
AP: I guess.
MS: Without Billy.
AP: I didn't want to. It wasn't my fault.
MS: I didn't say it was. (Pause) How'd you work the big wolf robot without Billy?
AP: Well, our... boss's... assistant... sort of did it. By remote control.
MS: So you don't need Billy at all to drive the robot, anybody can.
AP: (Angrily) Apparently so.
MS: (Surprised) Does that bother you?
AP: Of course it bothers me! It's killing him!
MS: Billy?
AP: Of course, Billy! He asked me before if Zordon was gonna- (Stops, puts a hand over his mouth.)
MS: Zordon?
AP: Oh my God... I wasn't supposed to say that.
MS: Understood. I didn't hear a thing. So he asked you if... the head honcho, as yet unnamed,was going to... I'm guessing replace him?
AP: Um... yes.
MS: Members of the team have been replaced before. You said you've only been a Ranger for-
AP: Just over a year, yes. The first Black Ranger... moved away.
MS: Was he or she a friend of Billy's?
AP: Yes, he was. The first Red, Black, and Yellow Rangers were his friends.
MS: And they've all been replaced?
AP: Yes.
MS: Geezus.... Pardon me.
AP: What?
MS: Never mind. Tell me, Adam, have you ever worried about being replaced?
AP: Not really, it never happened unless... the person wanted to leave. At least that's what I thought. But I was thinking about it, and now it almost seems as if Zor- I mean, the unnamed head honcho-
MS: Right....
AP: As if he kind of pushed them away.
MS: How do you mean?
AP: Well, they were chosen to... for a... God, I can't say this without giving away their identities.
MS: (Tiredly) Does it really matter?
AP: I guess not. They were chosen to go to that peace conference.
MS: Oh! I knew one of those kids. Trini Kwan. Friend of mine's daughter.
AP: Yeah, well, she was Yellow.
MS: Well, I'll be-
AP: Anyway, they were pretty reluctant to leave the team, you know. They weren't sure which thing was more important. But Zor- dammit- the head honcho guy told them they had to move on. And then he just transferred the powers to us. Just like that.
MS: (Pensively) Just like that.
AP: (Angrily) Yeah! And then he just went on as if nothing had changed! As if they had never been there at all!
MS: What a dipshit.
AP: Yeah.... I mean-!
MS: It's okay, let it out. That's what I'm here for.
AP: Yeah, well.... You're not here for me, you're here for Billy.
MS: And he's a nervous wreck. (Sigh) I've got my work cut out for me. Thanks for speaking with me, Adam. This has been... really helpful.
AP: (Nervously) What are you going to do?
MS: Do? Well, I'm going to help Billy. At least that's what I hope I'm going to do. If all goes well.
AP: But what if it doesn't go well? What then?
MS: I wish I knew, Adam. I really wish I knew.
* * *
Billy looked up vaguely as Mario Saldanas crept back into the room. "Where've you been," he asked, his voice hoarse with unshed tears.
"Oh, I was chatting with your buddy Adam. You doing better?"
Billy nodded a little. "Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Dad."
"It's all right, Billy." Hank kissed the top of his son's head and helped him stand. Billy stumbled over to the bed and climbed under the covers, once again curling up into the fetal position. "Billy, are you going to be all right?"
Billy didn't answer. He wanted more than anything to reassure his father, but knew better than to try. Hank could always see through his lies.
"Listen, Hank, gimme a moment with him, all right?" Saldanas placed a hand on Hank's shoulder. "I think we've got a lot to talk about."
Hank nodded and leaned down to give Billy another kiss. Then he left the room, shoulders slumped with worry. Saldanas watched him leave, then took a seat on the edge of the bed. "Hey, Billy, um.... Listen, as you know, I was talking to Adam a little while ago."
"Yeah, so?" Billy's voice was muffled by his pillow.
"Well, we talked about a lot of things, you know, colors, animals... wolves and frogs...."
Billy sat straight up and gasped. "What?"
Saldanas smiled. "I know about the Ranger thing, Billy. I was wondering what it was you were hiding."
"Adam told you about-"
"He kind of had to. I already knew, really, I just wanted to confirm."
"But how-?"
"Well, the wolf. It upset you so much to see the wolf. And then I noticed you seem to wear an awful lot of blue... it just made sense. Sort of."
"But...."
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I know better than that."
"Oh."
"But I do want to talk about all this. It's obvious that you're worried about losing your place on the team."
"No. I've already lost it. It's too late." Billy started to cry again, and he sank back down to the bed. "It's over."
Saldanas placed a comforting hand on Billy's shoulder. He was just about to speak when both he and Billy turned into columns of bright light and vanished from the hospital.
* * *
Saldanas let out a startled scream as he felt his body break apart and somehow reassemble itself completely painlessly. The second he was all together, he took the opportunity to make sure his young patient was all right. "Billy? Are you...? My God." He trailed off as he got a good look at his surroundings.
All around him, there were computer consoles with flashing lights and glowing buttons. A little red and blue robot was standing off the the side, babbling something that sounded like "Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi" over and over again. But the most amazing thing of all was the giant floating head in a tube.
I AM SORRY TO BRING YOU HERE UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, boomed the head, looking vaguely contrite, BUT THE SITUATION WAS BEGINNING TO SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL.
"Uh-huh," managed Saldanas, gulping. He stepped closer to Billy, who was lying on the floor avoiding the giant head's eyes.
I AM ZORDON, said the head. THE LEADER OF THE MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS. THIS IS OUR COMMAND CENTER.
"Uh-huh. Command Center. Right on." _My God, the dipshit's a big giant floating Goddamn head!_ Saldanas looked down and realized his hands were shaking. Violently.
ALPHA 5, PLEASE BRING DR. SALDANAS A CHAIR.
"You have chairs here?"
The little robot waddled over to one of the consoles and pushed a few buttons. Two chairs appeared in from on him. "Please, Dr. Saldanas," it said politely, "Have a seat."
Saldanas gently lifted Billy to his feet and deposited him in a chair. Then he collapsed in the second chair, positive his legs wouldn't hold him up any longer.
DR. SALDANAS, I HAVE BEEN MONITORING YOUR PROGRESS WITH BILLY.
Saldanas felt a distinct chill. This guy had been listening in? "Sir, that's illegal. There's a doctor-patient confidentiality factor to think of."
I AM AWARE OF THAT. HOWEVER, MY MAJOR RESPONSIBILITY IS TO THIS TEAM. THE FATE OF THE WORLD DEPENDS ON ITS STABILITY.
"What about Billy's fate?"
"Ai-yi-yi," burst out Alpha.
"What?" Saldanas looked over to the little robot; it was once again pacing back and forth and waving its arms around.
"Oh, nothing," it said lamely. "Someone else said the same thing!"
CALM YOURSELF, ALPHA. I AM CERTAIN WE CAN REMEDY THIS SITUATION.
"So, uh...." Saldanas struggled to stop his hands from shaking. "How much, exactly, did you hear?"
I HAVE ONLY MONITORED YOU WHEN IT WAS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, answered the giant head. WHEN I SAW YOU APPROACH ADAM, I-
Saldanas gulped. "You were... listing to that conversation?" The head nodded. "You know, I didn't mean what I said, you know, about you being a... you know. I was kidding." _Geezus, he's gonna kill me._
DR. SALDANAS, I ASSURE YOU, I DO NOT WISH TO HARM YOU IN ANY WAY.
"Then... why'd you bring us here?"
I WISH TO HELP BILLY AS MUCH AS YOU DO. PERHAPS IF WE WORK TOGETHER...?
Alpha waddled over to Billy and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Billy, please don't be angry. I'm sorry I used the Wolf Zord without you. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
Billy turned away from Alpha and buried his face in Saldanas' shirt. The doctor was noticeably shocked, but responded by putting his arms gently around his young patient. "Okay, look," Saldanas decided to try talking to the robot and giant head. If he was lucky, they wouldn't disintegrate him. "You say you didn't mean to hurt him, but you just showed him that you don't need him. How is that not going to hurt him?"
BILLY KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING THAT HIS RESPONSIBILITIES WERE TO PROTECT THE EARTH.
"How do you know what he knew?"
"How do you know whether or not he knew if I knew?" mumbled Billy, shifting slightly.
"Well, I don't know whether or not he knew if you knew, but I'll never know if I don't ask," responded Saldanas, smiling a little.
I'M AFRAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
"No shit, Sherlock," said Billy harshly, sitting up suddenly.
"Um, Billy, try not to make the very powerful giant head mad, okay?"
"You just dragged me here, against my will, I might add. I had no choice but to participate in your little vision, Zordon, because I was attacked my a group of putties on my way back to Angel Grove, in case you've forgotten."
YOU CHOSE TO KEEP THOSE POWERS, BILLY. YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN THEM UP.
"What, and lose my friends? I think not."
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CHOOSE WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU.
"Cut the crap, Zordon! I didn't ask to be a part of your goddamn team. You dragged me into this. You were supposed to be a father figure. You set yourself up to be this benevolent mentor, but you don't care about me at all."
BILLY, THAT IS NOT TRUE. I-
"I hate to interrupt, Mr. Zordon, sir, but did you ever stop and think what you're doing to this kid? He needs your love and approval. If you couldn't provide that, it should never have been promised. Now, if you'll excuse us, we really should get back to the hospital before people get suspicious. I refuse to be brought up on kidnapping charges."
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, DR. SALDANAS, THAT BILLY'S JOB AS A POWER RANGER IS JUST THAT: A JOB.
"Maybe to you it is. But to him, it's a lot more." Saldanas turned to Alpha. "Can you send us back, little robot?"
"His name's Alpha," mumbled Billy through his tears. The two once again disappeared in flashes of light.
* * *
Saldanas resisted the urge to scream as he was reassembled in Billy's hospital room. They were exactly as they had left it, Billy lying in his bed and Saldanas holding him gently. The door opened and Hank walked in. "Is everything okay?"
"Wow, perfect timing," mused Saldanas, turning to face him.
"What?"
"Nothing. Listen, I think we need to talk."
Hank sat on the other side of the bed and placed a hand on Billy's back. "All right."
"Billy, does your Dad know about... this?"
"No."
"I think you should tell him."
"Tell me what?"
Billy sat up slowly and faced his father. "There's something I have to tell you."
"I gathered that. What's wrong?"
"Dad, I'm... I'm... I can't!"
"Billy, he has to know. It's important to your recovery."
"If you're talking about the fact that he's a Power Ranger, I already know."
Billy looked sharply at his father. "What? When did... I mean...."
"I figured it out," Hank answered softly. "You were always disappearing right around the time the Power Rangers showed up. And that weird wrist watch you started wearing... every time it chimed you bolted. Then a few minutes later, the Power Rangers would be on the news. And then this thing with the wolf.... If I wasn't sure before, I am now."
"But... why didn't you say something?"
Hank shrugged. "I figured you'd just get angry. You never talk to me anymore, Billy, and when you do, it's to tell me to mind my own business. And now that Marilyn's in my life, you've gotten even more distant."
Billy looked away. "She pushed me away."
"You know what? I think you two have a lot to talk about. So how about if I leave now, and you work things out? I'll come back tomorrow and find out how things went."
"Dr. Saldanas, what about your two o'clock?" Hank started to stand, but he was waved back down by the exhausted doctor.
"Skip it. I need a nap."
* * *
Adam arrived in the Command Center and stood timidly before Zordon. "Um, Zordon, can you call the others? I kind of have something to say."
WHAT IS WRONG, ADAM?
"Well, I... I guess you know that I told Dr. Saldanas about Billy and all. And I know I broke the rules, but... well, I'm not willing to give up a friend for the right to hold the power. So... I'm... I'm giving up my Power coin." Adam removed his morpher and held it out to Alpha.
"Oh, ai-yi-yi!"
Zordon looked on in silence.
* * *
Kimberly sat down on the edge of Billy's bed and sighed. "I hope you're doing better than me," she said. "I had the worst headache this morning. And my hair? Ugh."
Billy smiled slightly. "I had a pretty bad day, too."
"What happened?"
"Nothing, really. Yesterday was the worst."
"Why?"
"You know why."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Well, today, I just had time to think about it all. All I could do was just sit here and... wait."
"What are you talking about? Wait for what?"
"Zordon's going to take away my powers."
"No way! He said he'd only do that if it was absolutely necessary!"
"Well apparently it's necessary. He said as much yesterday."
Kimberly's mouth fell open. "You talked to Zordon yesterday?"
"Yeah. Me and Saldanas."
"Saldanas talked to Zordon?! Where was I?"
"Probably at the mall or something. I don't know."
"He's not going to just kick you off the team, Billy, Zordon wouldn't do that. Besides, if he does, then... then I'm off too."
"No, way, Kim, you can't do that!"
"Sure I can! Billy you're my absolute best friend and I'm going to support you." She leaned down to give him a hug.
Just then, her communicator chimed. "You'd better go, Kim. I'll be okay."
She looked at him sternly. "I'm not going anywhere. You need a major hug-fest!" As if to prove her point, she hugged him again, this time even harder.
"Ow! Can I have a moderate hug-fest instead?!"
Kimberly released him to shift her grip, and was promptly teleported away.
* * *
Kimberly gasped as she was deposited into the Command Center. "Zordon!" she shrieked, "How do you know I wasn't in the shower or something!"
"Viewing Globe," answered Aisha simply.
Kimberly glared in Zordon's direction but didn't respond.
RANGERS, I AM SORRY TO BRING YOU HERE NOW, BUT THERE IS MUCH TO DISCUSS. IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION, IN DISCUSSIONS WITH DR. SALDANAS AND WITH ADAM-
"You talked to the shrink?"
THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN TREATING BILLY WITH THE GREATEST OF SENSITIVITY. THE FACT REMAINS, HOWEVER, THAT MY MAJOR RESPONSIBILITY LIES IN PROTECTING THE EARTH FROM EVIL. THEREFORE, I HAVE COME TO A DIFFICULT DECISION. ADAM, STEP FORWARD.
Adam did so, still holding his morpher in his hands.
I WILL NOT ASK YOU TO GIVE UP YOUR ROLE AS A POWER RANGER. BY SUPPORTING BILLY IN HIS TIME OF NEED, YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF TO BE A TRUE RANGER. I MUST APOLOGIZE TO ALL OF YOU FOR TREATING YOU AS TOOLS INSTEAD OF AS HUMAN BEINGS, AND I HOPE THAT YOU WILL FORGIVE ME.
Adam's mouth fell open. "But... but...."
"What about Billy?" articulated Kim.
I AM AFRAID THAT BILLY MAY BE TOO UNSTABLE TO POSSESS THE POWER OF THE BLUE RANGER. HOWEVER, I AM NOT PREPARED TO ASK HIM TO GIVE UP HIS PLACE ON THIS TEAM.
"I don't understand," said Aisha. "You said he can't be a Ranger anymore, so how can he stay on the team?"
"I think he means... you know how Billy's always building stuff and helping to repair the Zords... you want him to keep doing that, right Zordon?"
THAT IS CORRECT, ROCKY. IF HE CHOOSES TO DO SO, HE WILL BE WELCOME.
"I don't know." Adam reluctantly put his morpher back in its hiding place behind his back. "Do you think it'll be enough?"
IT IS THE BEST I CAN OFFER AT THIS TIME. PERHAPS IN TIME, AFTER BILLY HAS RECOVERED, I WILL BE ABLE TO RESTORE HIS POWERS.
"All right," said Tommy slowly. "I guess... we have no choice."
"Who's going to tell him?" wondered Aisha.
"I will," volunteered Adam.
"Me, too," added Kim. "We can tell him later today."
* * *
Billy pressed his power coin into Adam's hand. "That way," he said through his tears, "if you need some extra help, you can call on my powers."
Adam stared sadly at the coin, then placed it in his pocket. "It's not over, Billy."
Yeah," Kimberly nodded and smiled warmly at him. "You're still part of this team, and you always will be. No matter what."
Angel Grove Hospital, Psychiatric Ward
Room 3C
MS: All packed?
WC: Just about. I can't find my dark blue socks.
MS: These?
WC: No, darker. Closer to navy but not quite.
MS: These?
WC: No, those are deep blue. The ones I'm looking for aren't deep as much as... dark.
MS: Come on, Billy, blue is blue.
WC: Not when you're talking about a pair of missing socks, it's not.
MS: Whatever. So how do you feel?
WC: Okay. A little scared.
MS: Scared? Of what?
WC: I don't know. It's been so long since I've... not been a Ranger. What am I going to do with myself?
MS: Be a normal kid, I guess. How hard can that be?
WC: (Snort) Very. Since when am I normal?
MS: Well, semi-normal.
WC: Right.
MS: So have you talked to Marilyn?
WC: A little. I apologized for being rude and she accepted my apology.
MS: (Laughs) Still don't like her, huh?
WC: (Sigh) No. But Dad likes her, so I'll deal.
MS: What do you think he sees in her?
WC: Who knows? I don't see how he could want her after having my Mom, but....
MS: But you're biased.
WC: Exactly. Maybe I'll learn to like her.
MS: And the twins?
WC: Maybe I can convince Dad to send them to boarding school.
MS: Billy, that's not nice. Maybe you can learn to like them?
WC: Did you see "Annie"?
MS: What does that have to do with anything?
WC: You know that song Miss Hannigan sings about little girls? (Recites lyrics) Someday I'll step on their freckles/ Some night I'll straighten their curls/ Send a flood send the flu/ Anything that you can do to/ Little girls.
MS: I take it you don't like little girls?
WC: Damn right I don't, especially when they're trashing my lab.
MS: They only did that once, from what I understand.
WC: Once was enough. It took me ages to clean up that mess. Their first visit, and they made themselves completely at home.
MS: Doesn't she say something about being in the nuthouse, too? At the end?
WC: Yeah. Someday I'll land in the nuthouse/ With all the nuts and the squirrels/ There I'll stay tucked away/ 'Til the prohibition of/ Little girls.
MS: You have a good memory.
WC: The curse of genius.
MS: Well, no matter how bad they get, I do not want to see you back in here, do you understand?
WC: No problem. I hate this place.
MS: Good. Maybe you'll think twice next time.
WC: Definitely.
MS: Lemme ask you something.
WC: What?
MS: Can you tell me what you told Dr. Lynn about the trees?
WC: Trees?
MS: By the side of the road. That Monday night.
WC: Oh, that. I dunno, I just thought... trees live to be so old. They just stand there, you know, through everything. No matter what happens, they stand there and take it.
MS: What does that mean to you?
WC: I don't know. It all seemed so pointless all of a sudden. But now... I guess I see it a little differently.
MS: How so?
WC: Well, I have to be like a tree. Just take it.
MS: What kind of attitude is that?
WC: Well, it's true!
MS: You forget something, my friend.
WC: What? Trees are living things, too, you know. They eat, sleep, breathe... some would even say they feel pain, the same as us. But they just stand there. That's what I have to do.
MS: Not quite. Remember Billy, the trees do "just stand there," as you say, but unlike you, they have no choice.
WC: (Silence)
MS: I'll see you next Tuesday.
End
