Language Lesson
by Kittie

Adam glanced up from his homework and noticed Rocky entering the Juice Bar, looking rather confused. "Rocky! Over here!" Rocky saw him and jogged over, smiling slightly. "Where've you been?"

Rocky pulled out a chair and made himself comfortable before answering. "I was in the study lounge with Billy." He shook his head and grabbed one of Jason's fries. "You know, cause he tutors me in math?"

"Yeah? So?" Jason placed a protective hand over the rest of his fries and signaled to Ernie. "You look... concerned."

"Yeah, well... it was kinda weird."

"What was?" Tanya was starting to get concerned. One of the first things she'd noticed upon moving to Angel Grove was the gangs' strange relationship with Billy. Certainly, they were friends, but they always seemed to walk on eggshells around him. She could never understand why; he seemed perfectly nice to her, if not a bit short-tempered.

"Well," Rocky continued, "There was this girl. I mean, we were in the middle of a really complicated problem, and he lost his train of thought."

"Billy? Lost his train of thought?"

"Yeah! That's what I thought! And it wasn't just the one time, either. Every time she passed by, he'd zone out again."

"Oh wow, Billy's in love," crowed Kat. "How cute!"

"Yeah, I guess," Rocky shrugged. "So finally I just asked him. 'Why don't you just ask her out?' And he got all weird on me."

"Yeah, he'll do that," agreed Jason. "He's strange about girls. I think he's afraid of them. Present company excepted, of course."

"What did he say?" Tommy leaned forward slightly. This was getting interesting.

"He said he couldn't. So I asked why, and he said he just couldn't and could we please get back to the topic at hand. So I pointed out that he was the one who kept zoning out on me, and he turned all red."

"He does that every time he doesn't have an answer for something," observed Kat, and Tommy shushed her.

"Then what?"

Tanya shook her head. "Guys, this is just gossip, you know. It's not polite."

Rocky ignored her. "So then I asked, 'Well, what's the worst thing that could happen?' And he... he got that look."

Everyone grimaced. "No, not the look!" Tommy shuddered.

"Wait, the look?" Tanya was now totally confused.

"Oh, come on, you've seen the look," insisted Rocky. "He'll close his eyes and shake his head, and... then he scrunches up his face--"

"Like this," demonstrated Jason.

Tanya, shocked at the amazing resemblance, had to beg him to stop. "Okay, yeah, I know the look."

"Yeah, exactly. And then he says, 'Look, Rocky, this is nerd love. It's a totally different ballgame.' And then he bolted!"

Tanya raised an eyebrow. "Nerd love?"

"Wait, when he said ballgame, did he pause first, like he had to think of a word?" asked Tommy excitedly.

"Yeah," answered Rocky. "Like he had to figure out a way the stupid people would understand him."

"I hate when he does that."

"Guys, I don't think that's our biggest problem here," scolded Kat. "I think Billy needs our help!"

"Help? What are you talking about?"

Tanya shook her head. "The boy is obviously romantically impaired. He just needs a kick in the pants to get started. I mean, it took Adam over three months to ask me out, and in the end, I actually asked him, cause he couldn't say it!"

Adam flushed a deep scarlet. "Tanya! Shut up!"

"I'm just making a point!"

"Well, what can we do?" Jason shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "It's not like he'll listen to us."

"You've just gotta learn to speak his language," disagreed Kat.

"His language?"

Adam nodded. "That makes sense."

"Maybe to you," retorted Tommy.

"Leave it to us," promised Tanya. "He'll be fixed up in no time. C'mon, Adam, we've got work to do!"

* * *
"Hey, Billy! Wait up!" Adam hurried to catch up with the young genius as he headed home through the park.

"Hi, Adam. What's up?"

"Well, um... I just wanted to talk to you."

"I know that tone. What are you planning?"

"Nothing! I mean, well, I just wanted to... um.... Okay, I can't lie. I know about you and... that girl."

Billy raised an eyebrow. "That girl?"

"The one you like. But you're too shy to ask her out."

"Adam, can we drop this please?"

"No. Cause if you let her go, we'll all have to listen to you moaning and wailing about it for the next three years."

"Three years? Is that a set period of time?"

"Just shut up and listen, Billy. I'm gonna give you some advice. And I'm only saying it once."

"Do tell," said Billy sarcastically.

Adam took a deep breath. "A timorous cardiovascular pump at no time succeeds in acquiring the pulchritudinous distaff."

Billy's mouth fell open. "What?"

Adam faltered. "You know, faint heart never won--"

"I know what it means!"

"Oh."

"How did you... I mean, why--?"

"Just think about it, okay? I mean, I almost lost Tanya cause I was too scared to talk to her. And weren't you the one who told me to suck it up and be a man?"

"Well... yeah, but--"

"But nothing! Go acquire that distaff! Now!"

"Yes sir!" Billy mock-saluted and turned right around, heading back to the Juice Bar. "Oh, and Adam?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

End

---