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Super Stress Day 3.1
Written by Jason Knight (jdk10@po.cwru.edu)
(c)1997. Sent via e-mail 6/15/97; credits and disclaimers at end of script.
Originally posted on alt.fan.lion-king.
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                               Introduction

Welcome to the latest version of my magnum opus, "Super Stress Day,"
released on the three-year anniversary of the event it celebrates.  Though
there are only three major changes since the last version a year ago, there
are numerous new jokes scattered throughout this work, and I recommend a
thorough read rather than a quick skim for new material.

I should warn the reader now that most of the humor here takes the form of
"in-jokes" that could not be fully appreciated by the general public.
Unless you already have a good idea of how CAPS (the Computerized Animation
Production System) works, I suggest that you read question and answer #7 of
the rec.arts.disney FAQ, at
ftp://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/news.answers/disney-faq/parks .  If you
haven't already done so, you should also read all of Brian Tiemann's Lion
King FAQ at http://www.lionking.org/text/faq .  With those two resources,
you should fully appreciate the vast majority of the humor.  Having seen
the movie would help, too.

In this story, each character from "The Lion King" plays the part of a
Disney Animation employee.  I'll make it clear who's who the first time I
introduce each character, so it shouldn't be too hard to keep track.  Some
of them play specific people (say, Andy Gaskill), while others simply fill
their roles (such as the art director).  I'll always identify each
character in the notes (between the square brackets) and the tag at each of
his or her lines ("Mufasa: ...") with the animal, film character name.  The
characters will also address themselves in this manner, EXCEPT when the
addressee's human part is a specific person, in which case that name will
be used.  I apologize for any confusion this creates but think this is the
most effective way to write it.

As you might expect, this screenplay is nothing more than the transcription
of a "mental movie" I have.  I imagined it would be produced as a
fully-animated film.  However, producing it with animated characters in a
live-action setting (in the spirit of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit") would be a
viable alternative.  Whatever the method, the characters are hardly any
more anthromorphic than they are in the original movie-- for example,
Timon, Zazu, and Rafiki are the only characters who do not walk on all
fours.

Please, don't be afraid to give me feedback of any sort on this work.
Positive responses are what keep me writing, but negative ones keep me
writing WELL.  Not only do I welcome comments about it, but if you have any
suggestions about how to make it better, I'd love to hear them!  If I like
your idea and use it, I'll give you an "Edited by" credit!  Of course, due
to its nature (periodic revisions), if there's any Lion-King-based fan
fiction that can benefit from suggestions, it's this one.  So send your
comments in!  (Please note that I'll assume I have your permission to quote
you, unless you tell me otherwise.)

As I imagine it, "Super Stress Day" would only be about 24-25 minutes long
if it were actually shot, not counting the opening titles and most of the
end titles, which would roll over an otherwise blank screen.  Despite its
shortness, I've wanted to write a trailer for it for months.  In the spirit
of most movie trailers, it uses only footage from the full-length version,
with one obvious exception.  Unlike most trailers, however, I've tried to
STOP it from giving away all the good jokes.  I feel it's safe to read even
for those who haven't read SSD.  Still, if you want to play it safe, I
understand.  You can just skip ahead to the beginning of the next reel,
where we'll pick up the start of our feature presentation.

Also in the spirit of most trailers, the editing on this one has to be
razor-sharp and lightning-quick.  Except in the narration scenes, I
wouldn't want one frame left in that could have been cut out.  And now,
thread the projector, dim those house lights, and let's roll the trailer!



[Green MPAA leader.]

                The following PREVIEW would be approved for
                               ALL AUDIENCES
               by the Motion Picture Association of America

[Anti-Canon Enterprises logo.  Fade in on the control booth of a recording
studio.  Mufasa the narrator is sitting alone at the console, speaking
calmly to the camera.  There's a digital clock in the background, counting
down the time left in the trailer by each tenth of a second.  It starts at
1:19.7.]

   Mufasa:  As you probably know, I just love stories.  I used to tell them
to my son, Simba, all the time.  Stories about the great kings of the past
and the unusual creatures we've encountered in the Pride Lands.  But this
one is different.  This is the story about a major motion picture company,
trying to complete its biggest project to date--

[Cut to Pumbaa, freaking out in an office.]

   Pumbaa:  THE PREMIERE'S TODAY?!?

[Cut to Mufasa the narrator.]

   Mufasa:  --in the final hours--

[Cut to Rafiki, at his desk, talking to Mufasa.]

   Rafiki:  ...two days...

[Cut to Sarafina, talking to Simba at the counter of a small storefront
business.]

   Sarafina:  ...eighty-eight minutes...

[Cut to Adult Simba in the CAPS computer office.]

   Simba:  ...an hour!

[Cut to Banzai, in a projection booth.]

   Banzai:  ...less than an hour to go...

[Cut to Shenzi, behind a desk in a window office, talking on the phone.]

   Shenzi:  Forty-six and a half minutes?

[Cut to Simba and Sarafina at the counter of the business.]

   Simba:  ...twenty-four minutes...

[Cut to Shenzi in the window office.]

   Shenzi:  Seventeen minutes?!

[Cut to Sarafina at DigiFilm.]

   Sarafina:  ...about five minutes.

[Cut to Simba talking to Mufasa]

   Simba:  ...three seconds...

[Cut to Mufasa the narrator.]

   Mufasa:  --before the world premiere.  Of course, things don't exactly
go off without a hitch.

[Cut to Timon in an office, seated at a grand piano.  He's taking a piece
of paper off Pumbaa's tusk.]

   Timon:  Why don't you just keep me waiting LONGER for gosh sake?

[Cut to Nala, talking on the phone in her cubicle.]

   Nala:  But why do you want ME to do it?  I'm just a background painter.

[Cut to Mufasa and Zazu in the control booth.  Scar's in the other half
with the microphone.  Scar is looking irritated.]

   Zazu:  I can't seem to get anything in the 300 Hz area.

[Cut to Shenzi in the window office.]

   Shenzi:  What do you mean the rest is still being mastered?

[Cut to Sarabi's cubicle.  Simba's paying a visit.  As she swivels in her
chair to face him, she knocks over a mug of coffee, onto a stack of paper.]

   Sarabi:  OH NO!!
   Simba:  Oh, that's just great.

[Cut to Mufasa and Ed in a conference room lined with storyboards.]

   Mufasa:  What abou-- holy wildebeest!  They slipped my mind months ago!

[Cut to the CAPS room, with Simba and Nala.]

   Nala:  Pretty rough day, huh?
   Simba:  You have no idea.

[Cut to Timon's office.  He's talking to Zazu, who's in the doorway.]

   Timon:  Whadda ya mean Hans is unavailable?

[Cut to Mufasa the narrator.]

   Mufasa:  There are a few snags here and there.

[Cut to Pumbaa in his office, holding a sheet of paper and looking at the
clock.]

   Pumbaa:  BUT IT'LL HAVE TO DO!!

[Cut to Simba and Ed in the CAPS office.]

   Simba:  B-- But the film printer CAN'T be broken!

[Cut to Banzai in a projection booth, looking out of the window at the
audience.]

   Banzai:  We must be showin' SOMETHING.  So what's the holdup?

[Cut to Shenzi in the window office.]

   Shenzi:  Well, what is that guy DOING down there?

[Cut to the CAPS office.  Simba just stares into space with a dopey grin
for a few seconds.]

[Cut to Timon and Pumbaa, standing in a parking lot, yelling after a car
that's driving away.]

   Timon:  Stop!
   Pumbaa:  Wait!

[Cut to Mufasa, Zazu, and Scar in the studio.]

   Scar [raspy]:  I can't do this any more.  I've lost my voice.

[Cut to Timon's office, with him and Zazu.]

   Timon:  I just can't take this pressure!

[Cut to Nala and Simba in his office.  Nala is turning white.]

   Nala:  I knew there was something I forgot to do.

[Cut to Mufasa the narrator.]

   Mufasa:  But you know what?  Everything works out all right in the end.

[Cut to the audio editing room.  A tape deck is spilling its tape in the
background, and Zazu is holding up his headphones from his eyes, looking at
it in shock.]

   Zazu:  AAAAAAAAAAAA!

[Cut to Scar in the recording studio, leaping toward Zazu.  His head hits
the microphone, causing a "thud" to be heard in the control room.  Scar's
balance is thrown off and he hits the floor, out of sight of the camera.]

[Cut to Banzai in the projection booth, reading a newspaper.  A reel of
film rolls across the frame and catches his attention.]

[Cut to Simba and Sarafina at the business.  Out the front window a big
cardboard box filled with about thirty reels of audio tape falls from the
sky and crashes on the sidewalk.  A few reels come close, but none of them
fall out of the box.]

[Cut to Mufasa the narrator.]

   Mufasa:  Trust me.

[Fade out, then fade in on the Super Stress Day logo.  Cue mark (one of
those black circles in the upper-right corner of the screen).  Fade out,
and back in on a conference room, with Mufasa and Ed.]

   Mufasa:  Hmmm... now that you mention it, that WOULD make a snappy trailer.

[Cut to Adult Simba and Nala in the CAPS office.]

   Simba:  I've been working on this film too long.
   Nala:  Haven't we all.

[Fade out, and fade in on the card of all the credits at once.  Fade out.
Cue mark.  Next reel.]