[Fade in on a close-up of a digital alarm clock radio, sharing a nightstand
with a copy of Shakespeare's "Hamlet."  The clock changes from 6:14 to 6:15
a.m.]

   Radio voice:  ...to the Morning Show on KLFA, 99.4 FM.  I'm Mike Bingham
and with me as always is Melanie Sears.
   Melanie:  Well, it looks like partly cloudy skies over the L.A. area
today and tomorrow, highs in the 70s, and 60s near the coast.  And this is
the big night down at the El Capitan.  It's the world premiere of--

[Click.  A paw lands on the clock and turns it off.  Cut to a shot of
Mufasa and Sarabi in bed, in a suburban house.]

   Mufasa:  (yawn)  What day is it?
   Sarabi:  The fifteenth.
   Mufasa:  Hey, then there's just a month left until our premiere!
   Sarabi:  Mm-hmm.  [pause]  Wait a minute.  That doesn't sound right.
July 15th?  Isn't that a Friday?
   Mufasa:  I think so, why?  Shouldn't it be?  Let me double-check.

[Mufasa gets up and looks at an at-a-glance calendar, hanging on the wall
next to a print of M.C. Escher's painting, "Drawing Hands."  He looks at
Sarabi.  Cut to a close-up of his face.]

   Mufasa:  Uh-oh.

[Cut to black.  Roll opening titles to Danny Elfman's score from "Pee-Wee's
Big Adventure."]

                          Anti-Canon Enterprises
                                 presents

                           Super Stress Day 3.1

                                    or
                        The Myth of The Lion King
                                    or
                             A Matter of Time
                                    or
                           Six Hours, 88 Minutes
                                    or
                      Not the Making of The Lion King


                            Burbank, California
                        Wednesday, June 15th, 1994
                                 3:00 p.m.

[Fade in on a digital LED clock, counting down each tenth of a second.  It
currently reads "5:59:58.4."  Above the numbers, in small white letters, it
says "TIME REMAINING UNTIL PREMIERE."  Zoom out and pan slightly, keeping
the clock in the shot, to reveal the control room of a recording studio.
Zazu, the audio engineer, and Mufasa, the director, are seated at the
console.  There are reel-to-reel tape decks behind them.  Visible through a
window is the business half of the studio (where the microphone is).  Also
visible is Scar, playing Jeremy Irons, behind the mic.  When Mufasa and
Zazu speak to Scar, they have to hold down a button on the console.  Zazu
is fiddling with knobs and slide switches.  The door opens, and Rafiki, the
effects animator, takes a few steps in.]

   Rafiki:  Excuse me, Mufasa, but de animators can't find de whisker specs
anywhere.  Do you know where dey are?
   Mufasa:  The whisk-- shoot!  I took those home yesterday to review, and
I left them in my den!  Um, I guess those guys will have to use their best
judgment instead.
   Rafiki:  Well, dey won't be happy to hear dat, but all right.  Bye!
[Exits and closes the door.]
   Mufasa [pushing a button on the console]:  That was pretty good, Jeremy,
but I think we can still do better.  I don't think you're putting enough of
your character into your performance.  Remember who you are!
   Zazu [pushing another button]:  Yes, and I'm still having trouble with
this equalization... I can't seem to get anything in the 300 Hz area.  One
would think--
   Scar:  Shut up.
   Zazu [not even realizing Scar spoke]: -- that this company's studios
would have fantastic acoustics--
   Scar [growing irritated]:  Let's get on with this.
   Zazu:  -- but I refuse to attribute this to miscalibration--

[Scar becomes so enraged that he forgets about the window.  Claws extended,
he charges toward Zazu.  His head hits the microphone, causing a "thud" to
be heard in the control room.  Scar's balance is thrown off and he hits the
floor, out of sight of the camera.]

   Mufasa:  Now you're getting into the spirit!
   Scar:  Oh, goody...

[Wipe right, to the office of Pumbaa, or Tim Rice.  The door is in the shot
and open, and the clock is at 5:19:18.0.  Pumbaa is sitting at a desk,
talking on the phone, with a pencil and a piece of paper in front of him.]

   Pumbaa:  Yes, Mr. Finch-- what?  Okay, Chris, yes, I can guarantee that
those are the final lyrics to "Can You Feel the Love Tonight."  That's
right.  Okay, bye-bye.  Mm-hmm, right, no more changes.  [hangs up]  ...I
hope.

[Zazu flies down the hall past the office door.  Pumbaa watches out the door.]

   Zazu:  This is crazy!

[Shenzi runs down in the opposite direction.]

   Shenzi:  I'm so underpaid....

[Mufasa runs by.]

   Mufasa:  This is terrible!  I'm as good as DEAD!
   Pumbaa:  Gee, people sure seem to be in a hurry today.  Is something
special going on?

[Cut to a shot from the ceiling of Pumbaa looking up at the clock.]

   Pumbaa:  And why is the clock running backwards?  Should I call someone
to have it fixed?  And what's that say... hmmm... "time remaining...
until... premiere."  Oh, yeah, I remember, the premiere's today.  [slight
pause]  THE PREMIERE'S TODAY?!?!

[Cut back to a normal shot.  Pumbaa picks up the paper to look it over.]

   Pumbaa:  From the day we arrive on the planet, humm humm humm, more to
see than can ever be seen, humm humm, far too much to take in, humm humm...
Well, that doesn't really relate to the Circle of Life... [checks the clock
again] ...BUT IT'LL HAVE TO DO!!

[Pumbaa sticks the paper on one of his tusks and runs on all fours out the
door.  Cut to a different office belonging to Timon or Elton John.  The
walls are covered with the clock and one hundred three gold records.  Timon
is waiting on a bench in front of a grand piano.  There are stacks of sheet
music on the piano and the floor.]

   Pumbaa:  All right!  Here ya go!
   Timon:  Boy, Tim, where have YOU been?  Why don't you just keep me
waiting LONGER for gosh sake?
   Pumbaa:  Oh, sorry.

[Timon takes the lyrics.  Pumbaa exits.  Timon waits until Pumbaa is out of
earshot.]

   Timon:  Lyricists... oy!

[Wipe to the cubicle of Sarabi, the clean-up artist.  She's at work on one
of the final scenes.  Pencils, pens, a mug filled with coffee with a
picture of Simba's presentation on it, the clock (4:43:04.1), and stacks of
blank and finished papers lay nearby on the desk.  Adult Simba, the CAPS
operator, walks up.]

   Simba:  Can't you work any faster?
   Sarabi:  Don't rush me, kid.  You rush a clean-up, and you get a mess.
   Simba:  But I need it all in just two hours!
   Sarabi:  Look, Simba...

[Sarabi swivels to face Simba but knocks the mug over, onto one of the
stacks of paper.]

   Sarabi:  OH NO!!
   Simba:  Oh, that's just great.

[Simba and Sarabi try to wipe up the coffee with the fur on their arms.]

   Simba:  Forget it, that won't help.  I can't use these drawings.
   Sarabi:  I can't do those over in time.
   Simba:  Then we'll just have to lose the scene.
   Sarabi:  Maybe you can find a way to "erase" the coffee....
   Simba:  No more easily than you can.  Which scene was this, anyway?
   Sarabi:  Rafiki climbing Pride Rock, in the opener.
   Simba:  Oh great!  We need that!
   Sarabi:  Can you leave it out, and edit the opener around it?
   Simba:  I'll check with Mufasa, but I think it'll look really weird.
Now please hurry up with the rest!

[Wipe back to the recording studio.  Mufasa, Zazu, and Scar (now with a
bandage on his forehead) are still there.  Zazu is punching away at
buttons, and one of the tape decks is spinning.  The clock is at 4:03:12.5.
Scar speaks with a raspy voice for the entirety of this scene.]

   Scar:  I can't do this any more.  I've lost my voice.
   Mufasa:  I know you, Jeremy.  You can rise above this.  You only have
one more line, and I KNOW you can handle it.  You are more than what you
have become.
   Scar:  Oh, will you shut up with those silly sayings?  If it weren't for
YOU we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.
   Mufasa [firmly, not defensively]:  It was an honest mistake.  This is
our first major summer release since "The Great Mouse Detective" in '86,
which opened in July!  And it made sense to me that the premiere would be
on a Friday.
   Scar:  Life's not fair, is it?
   Zazu:  Don't let him get to you, Sire.
   Mufasa:  Mmm.  That's easy for you to say, you who misplaced the master
tape of "Warthog Rhapsody"!
   Zazu:  (nervous chuckle)  I'm sure it will turn up eventually....
   Scar:  I'm surrounded by idiots.
   Zazu:  I heard that.  [stops hitting buttons]  All right, we're cued up.
   Mufasa [to Scar]:  Okay, now, there was a defect on the tape the last
time we did this, so we have to re-record it.  Let's go.
   Scar:  No, wait!  I'm not prepared!
   Mufasa:  Too bad, we are.  [to Zazu]  Roll tape.

[Zazu pushes a button, and two of the tape decks in the background start to
spin.]

   Banzai [on tape]:  I thought things were bad under Mufasa.
   Scar:  WHAT DID YOU SAY?
   Mufasa [waits one second]:  Cut.

[Zazu pushes another button, and the tapes stop.]

   Mufasa [to Zazu]:  Do we have time for another take?
   Zazu:  We didn't have time for that one!
   Mufasa [to Scar, without missing a beat]:  That was perfect, Jeremy.
Couldn't be better.  I guess that's a wrap for you.  You're free to go now.
   Zazu [darkly]:  ...and never return.
   Scar:  Yes.  Well, forgive me for not singing for joy.  Bad voice, you know.

[Wipe to the CAPS computer office.  A two-monitor workstation and scanner
are on a desk, wedged between stacks upon stacks of backgrounds and
animators' line-art.  Here the clock (3:12:30.2) appears in mock-digital
type in a "window" on screen.  Simba is sitting in front of the
workstation.  Adult Nala, the background painter, runs in with a completed
work.]

   Nala:  Finished!
   Simba:  Thank goodness!  [looks at background]  Wait a minute.  Mt.
Kilimanjaro isn't near Victoria Falls!
   Nala:  It is now.
   Simba [looking at the clock]:  How about that.  So it is.

[Simba hastily slams the background on the scanner.  He pushes a few keys
and the scanner goes to work.  With nothing better to do while the scanner
is running, Simba and Nala engage in conversation.]

   Nala:  Pretty rough day, huh?
   Simba:  You have no idea.
   Nala [mildly sarcastically]:  Yeah, I'll bet I don't.
   Simba:  I'm serious!  This morning, I lost a chain.
   Nala [sympathetically]:  A chain!  How awful!  Were you able to recover?
   Simba:  Yeah, but I lost a frame from the fire at the end and didn't
have time to recompose it.
   Nala:  And you're worried about that?  No one will ever notice it!
   Simba:  You'd be surprised.
   Nala [seriously]:  You're right, I would.
   Simba:  Hey, are you almost done yet with those "Just Can't Wait to Be
King" backgrounds?
   Nala [turning white]:  Oh, yeah...  I knew there was something I forgot
to do.
   Simba [furious]:  NALA!
   Nala:  I'm sorry!  Maybe you didn't-- wait a minute.  Wait, I know
something we could use instead!

[Nala rushes out.  Simba checks the computer's progress, and puts a new
sheet on the scanner.  Nala rushes back in with colored paper in her mouth.]

   Simba [taking it]:  Construction paper?  BLANK construction paper?
   Nala:  It's still colorful, and it has a little texture.  Besides, it's
a fantasy sequence.  If anybody makes a fuss, we can write it off as
"style."
   Simba:  You're very resourceful.  I like that in a lioness.
   Nala:  You think THIS is something... [whispering in Simba's ear]  I'll
show you how *really* resourceful I can be with a fantasy sequence tonight.
[gives Simba's cheek a quick lick, turns to exit, and stops]  Say, have you
seen my color keys?

[Simba just stares into space with a dopey grin.]

   Nala [firmly]:  Simba....
   Simba [snapping out of it]:  What?  Huh?  Color keys?  Oh, yeah, I just
saw those!  Where were-- Ah!  I remember!  Around the waterhole!
   Nala:  The waterhole?
   Simba:  Huh?  Is that what I said?  Sorry, I meant the water *cooler*.
I've been working on this film too long.
   Nala:  Haven't we all.  (chuckle)

[Wipe to Rafiki's desk.  Mufasa walks by.]

   Mufasa:  Almost done with that milkweed effect, Rafiki?
   Rafiki:  I'm getting dere.  Check dis out!

[Mufasa watches as Rafiki flips through some papers.]

   Mufasa:  Yes, very nice.  Good job.
   Rafiki:  Didn't you see it?
   Mufasa:  What, the milkweed?  Of course I saw it.
   Rafiki:  No.  Look harder....  [flips through again]
   Mufasa:  Wait, are those supposed to be letters?
   Rafiki:  Mm-hmm.  S-F-X!  For "special effects"!  Pretty cool, huh?
   Mufasa:  Oh no!  Tell me that's just a joke, and the real effect's
somewhere else.
   Rafiki:  It's no joke.  What's wrong wit it?
   Mufasa:  People are going to look at that, and think it says SEX!
   Rafiki:  Dey will?  But dere's no bottom on the "E."  It's an "F."
   Mufasa:  They'll see it anyway.
   Rafiki:  How do you know?
   Mufasa:  Remember "The Little Mermaid" video cover?
   Rafiki:  Oh yeah....  But it goes by too quickly here.  People can't
notice it.
   Mufasa:  True, until it hits video!
   Rafiki:  So you want me to change it?
   Mufasa:  Change is good.
   Rafiki:  Yeah, but it's not easy.  You're lucky I started working on dis
two days ago!  Dere isn't time to do it over.
   Mufasa:  Well, what CAN you do?
   Rafiki:  I could blur de letters, perhaps.
   Mufasa:  All right.  At least that will create some doubt.  I just hope
it's enough.

[Rafiki turns back to work.  Simba rushes in.]

   Simba:  Mufasa!  We've got a problem.  A real problem.  An emergency!
   Mufasa:  Oh, you noticed too?
   Simba:  No, not that!  We have an unfinished scene!
   Mufasa:  Which one?
   Simba:  The fight between me and Scar.  We only have about three seconds
of it ready!  That's a crucial scene.  We can't just leave it out.
   Rafiki [without turning around]:  ...as you can wit *some* scenes.

[Simba shoots Rafiki a quick look.  Mufasa pauses a moment to think.]

   Mufasa:  I've got two words that should do the trick for you:  slow-mo.
   Simba:  Slow motion.  Yeah.  Yeah!  That's it!  Why didn't I think of
that?  Thanks a million!

[Simba runs off.]

   Mufasa:  By the way, Rafiki, "S-F-X" is the abbreviation for sound
effects.  You wanted "S-P-F-X."

[Wipe to Nala's desk.  The phone rings, and she answers it.]

   Nala:  Hello?...  Oh, hi, Ed....  Yes, I'm almost finished with my
backgrounds....  [lethargically]  Oh, great.  What do you guys need now?...
Home Video?  What do they need?...  But that doesn't make sense.  The video
release is months away.  Why would they want a box design now?...  Well,
that makes two of us-- I can't explain it either.  But why do you want ME
to do it?  I'm just a backgrounder.  I can't draw characters!...  Well, all
right, if it's just preliminary, I'll see what I can come up with.  But
this is awfully short notice, you know.

[Wipe back to Timon's office.  Zazu is standing in the doorway and Timon is
talking to him.  The clock reads 3:41:16.1.]

   Timon:  Aw, come on!  Whadda ya mean Hans is unavailable?
   Zazu:  I'm sorry, but Mr. Zimmer is busy putting the finishing touches
on the score.
   Timon:  Who are you anyway?
   Zazu:  *I*, sir, am the studio's prime engineer.
   Timon:  Oh.  But Hans and I have a thing going!  He arranged "Circle of
Life" and "Be Prepared" and....  Look, all I need is an opening to "I Just
Can't Wait to Be King."  That's all that's left.  If I had the extra month
back I could write it, no problem.  But I just can't take this pressure!
   Zazu:  Well, sorry to bust your bubble, but Mr. Zimmer absolutely
insists that he not be disturbed.  [pause]  Why don't you take a look at
some legacy music we've left for you?  Perhaps you'll find some...
inspiration.
   Timon:  No way I can get my Hans on this song?
   Zazu:  No way.
   Timon:  (sigh)  All rightee....

[Zazu exits.  Timon picks up a piece of sheet music from the floor.]

   Timon:  What do we have here?  "Under the Sea," from "The Little
Mermaid."  Music by Alan Menken.  Copyright 1989.  Well, I guess it's worth
a try.

[Timon plays the first 19 notes-- the instrumental intro.]

   Timon:  Okay, enough of that.  Let's skip to the end.

[Timon flips to the end and plays the last 20 notes, the last of which is
loud.]

   Timon:  A big finish, huh?  [pause]  Nope, I don't like it.  [Tosses
music aside]  Let's see... what to write....  Wait a second, I got a great
idea for an opener!

[Timon plays the first 18 notes of "I Just Can't Wait to Be King"-- the
instrumental intro.]

   Timon:  There's my intro!  And for the closing...

[Timon plays the last 17 notes, the last of which is loud.]

   Timon:  A nice, big finish.  Heh, what do you know, I *was* able to
write it after all!

[As Timon picks up a pencil, wipe to a conference room.  The wall facing
the camera is covered with storyboards, and there's a large table in the
middle.  Mufasa and Ed are seated at opposite ends.]

   Ed:  Ehh guh moo ee aab?
   Mufasa:  Yes, things seem to be coming together pretty quickly.  There's
even a chance we could start the premiere on time.
   Ed:  Uh waa bau eh pah ee ay?
   Mufasa:  The MPAA?  Honestly, Ed, I'm not that concerned about Oscars
right now.
   Ed:  Eeg!  Pah ee ay, guh bee fah!
   Mufasa:  Oh, right.  The Motion Picture Association of America.  What
abou-- holy wildebeest!  They slipped my mind months ago!  I completely
forgot we were going for a G rating.  This could be our first PG... or
WORSE... since 1985 and the...

[Without interrupting the audio track, cut to the inside of the Disney film
vault.  The light is dim, and in the foreground there's a stack of dusty
metal film cans labeled "THE BLACK CAULDRON-- NEVER RELEASE!"  A field
mouse scurries out from behind the cans and sniffs the air.]

   Ed:  Aak kah el rah.
   Mufasa:  [shivering]  Oo-ooh.  I just *hear* that name and I shudder.

[Cut back to the conference room.]

   Ed:  Buh mee fuh doo buh?
   Mufasa:  I don't know.  A G seems far from likely now.  I mean, LOOK at
all we've put in here!  [Gets up and gestures to the storyboards as he
talks]  Violence!  Blood!  More violence!  Implied profanity!  Implied sex!
Kung Fu!  Crossdressing!  [pointing at the scene of Scar's demise]  Murder!
[at Mufasa's]  Muh... ahem, Murder!  [at Timon with a mouthful of bugs]
Massive murder!
   Ed:  Sah goo ha meh HEE HEE HEE!
   Mufasa:  Hmmm... now that you mention it, that WOULD make a snappy
trailer.  BUT THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE!  (sigh)  Well, it's too late to edit
the story for the premiere.  We'll just have to keep our fingers crossed.

[Ed and Mufasa try unsuccessfully to cross their paw-fingers, then exchange
worried glances.  Wipe to a window office at Walt Disney Records.  Shenzi,
the Walt Disney Records executive, is sitting behind a large desk, talking
on the phone.]

   Shenzi:  Yes, I know.  I know that....  But we have to have the
soundtrack pressed and ready for sale at the premiere!...  Okay, let me see
here...  How much of the score do we have ready?...  What?!...  Seventeen
minutes?!...  What do you mean the rest is still being mastered?...  Okay,
okay...  All right, so do we have the seven main songs set?...  Huh?...
Why?...  Okay then, do we have the *five* songs ready?...  Good, that's a
relief.  What about Zazu singing to Scar?...  [disappointed]  Oh, great.
How about the hula song?...  Humph.  "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"?  You've
gotta be kidding me.  You've GOTTA.  That's in mastering too?...  Well,
what is that guy DOING down there?

[Cut to the audio editing room.  Six reel-to-reel tape decks, mixers,
equalizers, other audio equipment, a set of shelves, and the clock cover
the walls.  Four of the decks have reels of tape on them: "Young Simba/23,"
"Young Nala/10," "Zazu/14," and "Final/11."  Other reels cover the shelves.
Zazu has his back to the camera, is seated at a console, and is wearing
industrial-strength headphones, which are so large relative to him that
they cover not only his tiny bird-ears but also his eyes.  The reels on the
decks spin back and forth in a manner that appears random but is fully
under Zazu's direction.]

   Zazu:  Oy!  Young Nala, Young Simba, ME, speaking voices, singing
voices... why can't they just put everyone in one studio at the same time?!

[Something goes wrong, and the Final deck starts spilling tape.  Zazu lifts
one earpiece of the headphones off his eye.]

   Zazu:  And whoever invented these headphones can kiss my AAAAAAAAAAAA!

[Cut back to Shenzi.]

   Shenzi:  Okay, let's see.  We have [coldly] seventeen minutes of score,
and the five main songs.  What about the Elton John track?...  [pleasantly
surprised]  What?...  We have three?...  Mastered?...  Sure, go ahead, put
them ALL on the disc!  People *love* Elton John!...  Okay, so what's our
running length?...  Forty-six and a half minutes?  That's not very long....
No, no!  What kind of idea is that?  Of course we can't release another
disc later!  And admit we messed up?

[Move back to the CAPS office.  Simba is at work alone at the terminal.
The clock's at 1:07:37.3.]

   Simba [exhausted]:  I'm finished.  [more joyfully]  That's a wrap!  I'm
finally finished!  [looks at clock]  And not a minute too soon.

[Ed walks in.]

   Ed:  Uh, eem buh?  Oo guh baah oog.
   Simba:  What?  No.  Please, no bad news!
   Ed:  Aal uh air ee uh kuh put.
   Simba:  B-- But the film printer CAN'T be broken!  The premiere's in an
hour!  How else am I supposed to get a print made?
   Ed:  Eh uh umpuh ee, muh ijih fuh ik.
   Simba:  Uh-huh.  So where is this really cool place?

[Cue mark.]

   Ed:  Ow tau oo kee buh aak.
   Simba:  And how am I supposed to get what I have over there?
   Ed:  Uh...

[Fade out.  Cue mark.  Next reel.]