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"The Belltower of Terror"
Written by Rich Koster (rkoster@shell.portal.com)
To the tune of "God Help the Outcasts" from _The Hunchback of
  Notre Dame_. Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz, music by Alan Menken.
Copyright: 1996 by Rich Koster. Originally posted 7/16/96. 

Maintainer's note: For information about EMuck, contact Rich Koster.
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"The Belltower of Terror"

Bigger than the Tacky, Tacky, Tacky, Tacky, Tacky Room....
   Scarier than the Jungle Snooze....
      Higher than Meeko's Sycamore Slide....
         It's . . .
The Belltower of Terror!

In this excerpt from EMuck's Belltower of Terror attraction (copyright
(c)1996 Rich Koster) we join Clopin as he tells the tale of the Hunchback
of Theme Park Land, who Frollow gave the name Quasitotal -- a cruel name
meaning "half price."

Clopin picks up the story, saying, "Among a crowd of people, Quasitotal
soon got separated from his mother just as a parade was beginning.  Unable
to find her, he waited and watched the parade.  Quasitotal cried out
for his mother, but she couldn't hear her son over the sounds of the
parade.  One pretty Cast Member named Esmeralda did hear his cries,
however, and came over to comfort him."

Quasitotal asked the pretty Cast Member, "Where is my mother?"

Esmeralda sighed.

Then Esmeralda answered, "That's a question I do not know the answer to."

Quasitotal whimpered, "I thought all Cast Members knew everything."

Clopin says, "Although Esmeralda didn't know where his mother was,
she stayed with Quasitotal until they could find his mother,
comforting him with a song."

Esmeralda:
"I don't know if you can hear me
Or if you're even there.
I don't know if you would listen
To a CM's prayer.

"Yes, I know I'm just a new Cast
Member, that is true.
Still, I see your face and wonder
Were you a Cast Member too?

"God, help out the Cast
Members of Walt
Show them the way to
Control Guest gestalt.

"'Don't be sarcastic'
And 'show empathy' --
That's what Traditions
Instilled deep in me."

Park Guests:
"I ask, where's Walt?
I think the claim
He's cryogenically frozen is lame."

"What time's the 3 p.m. parade?"

"Where are the bathrooms?"

"Will handstamps upgrade me?"

Esmeralda:
"I'm asked for answers.
I need a friend.
Exhausted by questions that just never end.
Guests ask their questions --
I want them to halt.
God help out the Cast
Members of Walt."

Park Guests:                 Esmeralda:
"Where is Shamu?"            "Go up I-4..."
"Can I have Pepsi?"          "We serve that no more."
"I ask to whom
I can complain?
I wanted sunshine --
When will it stop raining?"

Esmeralda:
"I ask for hushing.
I need some rest.
I'm weary of questions
Repeated by Guests.
They need some answers --
It is not their fault.
God help out the Cast
Members of Walt."

Even more Park Guests:       Esmeralda:
"Which way to Jaws?"         "Go up I-4..."
"Which way's the exit?"      "It's right through that door."
"How long's this line?"      "A half-hour wait."
"What's new since I was here
In 1980?"

Esmeralda:
"I ask for quiet.
I need some peace.
I'm tired of questions that just never cease.
Exasperation has me by default.
Walt, if you hear me,
Come out of your vault.
God help out the Cast
Members of Walt."

-END OF EXCERPT-