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"March of the Clopinophiles (The Clopin Fan Song)"
Written by Angela Kuo (axk23@psu.edu)
 with suggestions, support, and inspiration by Nat (natcap1@ix.netcom.com),
 Karen (karken@southwind.net), Debbie (dejablue@clt.mindspring.com), Norm
 (wsboyers@ix.netcom.com), Larissa (LMacKenzie@csus.edu), Rex
 (Rex_Huang@brown.edu), and numerous other Clopin fans who posted on R.A.D.
To the tune of "The Court of Miracles" from _The Hunchback of
  Notre Dame_. Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz, music by Alan Menken.
Copyright: 1996. Originally posted 7/19/96. 

Author's note: Thanks to all who responded to my original post and 
rough draft of the Clopin Fan Song. And now, here's the final version...
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"March of the Clopinophiles (The Clopin Fan Song)"

CLOPIN [Speaks]: Well, well, well...What have we here?

CLOPIN FANS
Maybe you've heard of a fabulous guy
Who has fans on the newsgroup
And the FDC.
Maybe you've heard of that wonderful king
Of the Court of Miracles--

CLOPIN
Hello, that's me!

GUY CLOPIN FANS
All the guys will cheer!

GIRL CLOPIN FANS
All the girls will rave!

CLOPIN
Now that I am here--
I can dance, I can sing,
I can do anything!

CLOPIN FANS
We have a method with magic and puppets,
Changing our costumes like Superman can,
Here in our Court of Miracles
Where we sing lyrical tributes to our Clopin!

CLOPIN [Speaks]: Now everyone wonders how I get around from place to place in
  "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"...I'll tell you! A Surrey--one of Disney's tops!
  And what makes me shine throughout the movie? I light up because of one
  Kandel! That's Paul, folks... [Sings]

Stardom is sure in the Court of Miracles,
Part of it comes from my cool fashion sense.
I like to make all my entrances grandly
Because my charisma is really immense!

[Surveying the crowd] Many vast herds...

CLOPIN FANS [Shouting]
Clopin, you're the best! We love you, Clopin! Long live the King of the
Gypsies! Clopin, take me home, you gypsy stud, you! (etc.)

CLOPIN [Speaks]: That's what they all say... [Sings]

Now that I've seen all my loyal fans-- [Turns to go]

PUPPET AND FANS
Wait! I/we object!

CLOPIN
I must go!

PUPPET AND FANS
I/we object!

CLOPIN
Quiet!

PUPPET AND FANS
Dang!

CLOPIN
I'll come back soon in another tune,
But for the meantime, that's all...

CLOPIN AND FANS
So I'm/he's off with a bang!

[He disappears in a puff of colored smoke, to return in future parodies and
 creative writings]