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The Post-Oscars Party
(with the parody "Menken Oscar Win")
Written by Angela Kuo (angela_h_kuo@yahoo.com)
To the tune of "Colors of the Wind" from _Pocahontas_
  Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz, music by Alan Menken.
Copyright: 1996. Originally posted 3/27/96, revised 4/14/96. 
The following script/parody may be freely saved, distributed, 
reposted, etc. as long as it is properly credited and kept in
its original form.

Author's note: Suppose the Disney characters had their own post-Oscars 
bash...What would that be like? :) Read on... (It does NOT necessarily 
reflect my own views, but I do agree with a lot of it. :) And it 
helps if you know the voice actors...)
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The Post-Oscars Party: A Celebration for "Pocahontas" and "Toy Story"

[Scene: a large kitchen. Scar, wearing a chef's hat and an apron, is
standing amid a sea of fancy dishes and desserts]

SCAR: Life's not fair, is it? I win an Academy Award, play a wonderfully
  evil baddie in the greatest, most profitable Disney animated feature ever
  made, and what happens? I'm stuck preparing refreshments for a post-
  Oscars party honoring films which didn't have villains even half as
  nasty as myself. [Sighs] It's lonely at the top.

[He starts to taste one of the pastries. MUFASA enters]

MUFASA: Scar. [SCAR chokes] Are you finished yet?
SCAR [Recovering]: Well, if it isn't my big brother...How many guests are
  there?
MUFASA: Everyone from "Pocahontas," "Toy Story," "The Lion King"...and
  just about every other animated feature.
SCAR: Oh, goody. Why did we have to host?
MUFASA: Because we were last year's big film.  [ZAZU flies in]
ZAZU: Uh, Sire, I think I should warn you that this year's bunch looks--
  Well, let me put it this way. We've confiscated over a hundred muskets,
  some large cannon, bows and arrows, stone hatchets and knives, a few
  sticks of dynamite, some matches...There was a so-called "laser," but
  it seemed to be harmless.
SCAR: I rather like the sound of this group. [He exits]
MUFASA: What am I going to do with them, Zazu?
ZAZU: Well...

[Scene: a large, fancy dining room with a stage. The crowd is full of
Disney characters. SHENZI comes out on stage.]

SHENZI: Good evening. Welcome to the biggest Disney bash of the year...Hey!
  [Shot of BANZAI and ED in the back, holding cue cards] Put down those cue
  cards. I'm gonna say whatever I want. Okay?
BANZAI: Oh. Okay.
ED: Um a bwrjo oegia iaj ik!
SHENZI: This year Disney had two big animated successes at the Oscars: the
  summer smash "Pocahontas" and the Thanksgiving hit "Toy Story." Now, if
  the leads would please introduce themselves?  [Spotlight hits them as
  they speak]
POCAHONTAS: My name is Pocahontas.
JOHN SMITH: I'm John Smith.
SHENZI: Very funny. Now, what's your *real* name?
JOHN: John Smith!
SHENZI: C'mon! You can do better than that!
JOHN [Shrugs]: It's Mel Gibson.
BO PEEP [Instantly attracted to JOHN]: Well! I thought your voice sounded
  familiar!
SHENZI: And congrats to Mel for his wins for "Babeheart."
JOHN: "Braveheart."
HAMM: The pig should have won.
PUMBAA: Yeah!
SHENZI [Hastily]: And the leads from "Toy Story"...
WOODY: Hello! My name is Woody.
POCA: Hey! You sound familiar too! Like Tom Hanks!
JOHN: He won Best Actor for "Philadelphia," right? And he won last year
  for...Can't think of what right now...
WOODY: Gump. Forrest Gump.
SCAR: I'm surrounded by idiots...
WOODY: Hanks was also in "Apollo 13."
BUZZ: Hey, I'm the real spaceman around here.
SHENZI: And you are...?
BUZZ: BUZZ LIGHTYEAR here, I am stationed in the Gamma Quadrant of
  Sector Four. As a member of the elite Universe Protection Unit of the
  SPACE RANGER Corps--I protect the galaxy from the threat of invasion
  from the Evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance.
ALL: Wow!!
NAKOMA: Showoff.
SHENZI: ANYWAY...We want to congratulate "Toy Story" for its special
  Oscar and "Pocahontas" for the usual "Best Song" and "Best Score"
  Oscars. And now, to introduce the best song, please welcome Timon and
  the Genie of the Lamp!

[A lamp drops onto the stage. It begins to quiver and shake. Suddenly the
GENIE comes zooming out of it, with Timon riding on his back.]

GENIE and TIMON: YeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeHAH!
GENIE: Good to see ya folks! Boy, Timon and I are glad to be here! Well, as
  you all know, "Colors of the Wind" won the award for "Best Song."
TIMON: Actually, I wanted the song in "Toy Story" to win.
GENIE: "Friend Like Me"?...Er, I mean, "You've Got a Friend in Me"?
TIMON: No. I mean the song that was playing in the tape deck of the car.
GENIE: Oh, THAT song...Well, sorry, Timon.  But anyway...tonight we're
  going to have a very special performance of this year's Oscar-winning
  song...
TIMON: Wait a second. What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the
  hula?
GENIE: Uh, no. With "Mrs. Doubtfire" and "The Birdcage" between the two
  of us, I'm sure the audience would like to see something they wouldn't
  expect.
TIMON: Oh. Well, in THAT case...We'd like to present a performance you'd
  NEVER expect from the Academy Awards. And that is...
BOTH: The Judy Kuhn version of "Colors of the Wind"!!
GENIE: Except the lyrics are kind of changed.
TIMON: Anyway, please give a big hand to Pocahontas!

[POCAHONTAS comes on stage. To the Judy Kuhn version of "Colors":]

POCAHONTAS
They thought Alan Menken was finished,
And they said that Disney music
Was fin'lly past its prime.
But Alan proved them wrong
'Cause he won Best Score and Song.
He'll always win the Oscar one more time.
One more time...

He worked for many years with Howard Ashman,
Together they pulled Disney from the hole
'Cause they knew ev'ry animated creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a soul.

He worked on Broadway and some Disney movies,
And won another Oscar with Tim Rice.
Now Stephen Schwartz, a new collaborator,
Went with Alan on stage twice, yes they won twice.

Have you ever heard the vocals of Ms. Judy Kuhn?
If not, I wonder, then, where have you been?
Can you sing with all the voices on the soundtrack
Since it earned another Menken Oscar win?
Yes, it earned another Menken Oscar win.

Come sing the mermaid's song with Jodi Benson,
Join Brad and Lea's journey 'round the earth,
Join Paige and all the other Broadway singers
In a world full of music and of mirth.

Academies and guilds and song committees
And Golden Globes and Grammys are his friends.
Eight statuettes of gold are lookin' pretty:
You can see them as four sets of great bookends!

How long can Alan win more?
He has four pairs now--will he get four score?

And as sure as "Colors" should be sung by Judy Kuhn,
Next year's Academy Awards are in:
There will be another big-time Disney movie,
There will be another Menken Oscar win.

Though I know he's won a bunch,
I still strongly have a "Hunch"
There will be another Menken Oscar win.

[POCAHONTAS bows and leaves the stage]

SHENZI: Beautiful song, beautiful song. But the lyrics are a bit
  questionable in this version...Well, that's about it, folks. And
  if you guessed that it took the author of this script three hours
  and 35 minutes to write it...uh, you might be right. Once again,
  congrats to "Pocahontas" and "Toy Story" for their success! And for
  you dreamers out there, remember: someday you may write something
  that will be so great that somebody will HAVE to parody it.
  Good night!
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I'd like to thank the Academy for giving me the award for "Best Parody of
'Colors of the Wind' Posted at Approximately 10:58 PM EST to R.A.D." I'd
like to thank all the readers of R.A.D. who have put up with my parodies
and especially those who've e-mailed or posted comments (which are welcome
and appreciated). Thanks to "Forbidden Hollywood" for inspiration for some
of the jokes, Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz for writing such a great
song, Jason Knight for his encouragement and his TLK influence, and the
great movies (Disney and others) that I saw or at least heard about
for material. This is my first script, and I'm sure there's room for
improvement, but for now, that's all!