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"God Help My Report Card"
Written by Leslie (Kalindra)
To the tune of "God Help the Outcasts" from _The Hunchback of
  Notre Dame_. Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz, music by Alan Menken.
Copyright: 1996.

Maintainer's note: Sent via e-mail from a friend...
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"God Help My Report Card"

ME:  I've tried to do my homework
     I've listened in each class.
     I've done all my assignments
     I've never used my bathroom pass.  
     Yes, I know I should be happy
     I could have done worse, it's true.
     Still I see these grades and wonder 
     Leslie, what's happened to you?

     God help my report card
     Just look at these D's.
     I must have had a nervous breakdown
     Now I've got low self-esteem.
        
     God help these grades
     They're bad as can be.
     God help my report card
     I want A's and B's.

PALOMA, one of my friends:  I got an F

JOHANNA, another friend:  I got a C

GENEVIEVE, another friend:  Now--no question--Dad's gonna ground me.

JESSICA, another friend:  Why can't they see we've done our best?

RACHEL, another friend:  The teachers want us to flunk the test, right?

ME:  I have done nothing
     To deserve this sad grade.
     I'm the best artist in art class
     I thought I had Language Arts made.
     Please, someone help me
     I'm gonna cry.
     I thought school was for learning
     Not prompting us to die.
     God help my report card 
     Don't let my grades die.  


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