======================================================================== "Store Disney" Written by Matt Plotecher (mplot@freenet.columbus.oh.us) To the tune of "Prince Ali" from _Aladdin_. Lyrics by Howard Ashman, music by Alan Menken. Copyright: 1997. Originally posted 5/15/97. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ STORE DISNEY Just walking through the mall the other day, when I noticed a new Disney Store. Well, I think it was a Disney Store, but they had some stuff there that I've never seen before... (To the tune of "Prince Ali" from the movie "Aladdin") STAFF: Make way for merchandise! Come pay for merchandise! Hey clear the way in the mall today A store you'll adore and it's here to stay Oh come just succumb to an all-day shopping spree! Write checks Start at dawn Soon you're overdrawn And it's only half-past three! Store Disney! Franchised are we! At the Disney Store Some fun toys for girls and boys Just come and see! Pocahontas scalping kits And Godmother's spray-on ritz Punching bags shaped like Don Bluth, coincidentally! Store Disney! We've got CD's! At the Disney Store On track 6, another mix Of "Under the Sea" Abusive rap by Bambi Angst-ridden grudge by Happy And Madonna love ballads sung by Grimsby! We've got seventy-five "Jafar" posters Plus his costume, complete with goatee Coming soon are the Chernabog toasters The toast gets well-done Hope you like crumbs At least they're low calorie! Store Disney! The smiles are free! At the Disney Store What's Prozac? We're not on that! No reason to be Just listen to "It's a Small World" Until your mind unfurls And soon you'll be happy chronically! CUSTOMERS (sung counterpoint to above verse): There's no question this store's impressive Though the prices may be a tad excessive All those numbers at once can quite unnerve one I've got credit, I've got cash, and coupons. Just enough to get the McLeach futon As for the Cruella fur rank, I'll just reserve one STAFF: We've got Maleficent sewing needles (Don't prick your finger! Bad for your finger!) Dopey's guide to self-lobotomies (And you won't mind! No never mind!) Weight-loss shakes, endorsed by brothers Tweedle (Drink two times a day!) Pumbaa brand perfume--it clears the room! You'll get noticed, we guarantee! Here, it's free! Take it please! Store Disney! You're all junkies! At the Disney Store All those plushys pull on you like gravity And so good customers, line up behind the registers With Mickey coffee mugs, Brer Fox brand tar With the Chip and Dale All-gold walnut jar With PVC figures, your cels of Tigger And your kids singing off-key Right here at Store Disney! New lyrics (c) 1997 Matt Plotecher Distribute freely, but do not modify. (Oh yeah, and just for the record, I love the Disney Store. :) )
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