[Originally posted 7/13/96]
With all this discussion about "the Disney version," I thought it would be interesting to see what other writers/composers/directors might have done had they taken on "Beauty and the Beast." (For those who may be unfamiliar with some of the names below, I've listed some of their best-known works after my variations.) Comments are welcome and appreciated. Also, feel free to come up with your own variations, either for BatB or other Disney films. :)
1. BOUBIL & SCHOENBERG: Musical set in France featuring a giant turntable. Stars an unfortunate young man who lived in a world of isolation, ashamed of his hideous form, and...Wait, Menken and Schwartz did "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" already?
2. CHRIS COLUMBUS: An attempt to break into a expensive home is thwarted by a clever arrangement of household items.
3. JIM HENSON: In this Muppet version, Miss Piggy dances in a lavish gold ball gown to the musical number "Beauty is a Beast." At the end of the film, the ugly prince is transformed into a handsome frog.
4. ALFRED HITCHCOCK: In one of the most terrifying scenes in cinematic history, Belle is attacked BY the shower.
5. ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER: An ambitious girl rises from humble, lower class beginnings to become the wife of a powerful leader. The adoring masses shower her with gifts of food items. In a dramatic highlight, the Beast roars in sorrow and anger when he learns he has to sing "Memory"--and a computer-generated chandelier crashes down from the ceiling.
6. GEORGE LUCAS: In the latest twist in the "Star Wars" saga, Princess Leia falls for Chewbacca.
7. RODGERS & HAMMERSTEIN: Belle, who's always longed for adventure (and does a pretty good imitation of Julie Andrews), goes to a wealthy home and brings music back to the household. She falls in love with the master before the last petal falls from the edelweiss.
8. STEPHEN SONDHEIM: Gaston gives in to vanity and gets a haircut from the coatrack, which promptly sends him down a chute and into the oven. Gaston makes his final appearance as a singing meatpie. Another hour is added to the story, in which we learn that the nameless prince has been disguising himself and carrying on with other lovely maidens.
9. STEVEN SPIELBERG: Maurice invents a machine with the capability to contact extra-terrestrial life. His daughter, the archaeologist Indiana Belle, searches for a legendary enchanted castle. The mighty hunter Gaston dies when he falls into the mouth of Jaws. After the Beast dies, Belle isolates some of his DNA, purifies it, and restores him back to his human form.
10. OLIVER STONE: Investigates the possibility of a conspiracy against the young prince and does a background check on the enchantress.
*** Selected works that provided inspiration for the above: - Boubil & Schoenberg: Les Miserables - Chris Columbus: Home Alone - Jim Henson: The Muppet Show, The Muppet Movie - Alfred Hitchcock: Psycho - Andrew Lloyd Webber: Evita, Cats, The Phantom of the Opera - George Lucas: Star Wars Trilogy - Rodgers & Hammerstein: The Sound of Music - Stephen Sondheim: Sweeney Todd, Into the Woods - Steven Spielberg: E.T., Indiana Jones trilogy, Jaws, Jurassic Park - Oliver Stone: JFK, Nixon
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