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"Just Vote for Me"
Written by Angela Kuo (axk23@psu.edu)
To the tune of "Under the Sea" from _The Little Mermaid_.
  Lyrics by Howard Ashman, music by Alan Menken.
Copyright: 1996. Originally posted 10/11/96, revised 10/27/96. 

Author's note: Well, it's less than a month to go...and with the
  recent presidental and vice-presidental debates, I thought it 
  might be appropriate to post this. Right now I am still undecided 
  which candidate I will vote for. Somehow I doubt much will happen
  in the next month to change that. But I will vote anyway. At
  least it gives me the right to complain.
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"Just Vote for Me"

CANDIDATE [spoken]  Citizens, listen to me. The human world--it's a mess. But
  life under my administration would be better than anything we've got right
  now.

VOTER
The campaign is always meaner
In somebody else's ad.
I dream about better choices
But that ain't the current fad.

November is getting nearer,
Soon it'll be Election Day.
But issues aren't getting clearer:
Just listen to what they say!

DOLE
Just vote for me,
Just vote for me,
I'll prove I'm better, I'm a vote-getter--
I guarantee!
Up on the stump I talk all day--
Hey! Listen you, don't walk away--
Now I'm devotin' full time for votes 'n'
Just vote for me!

CLINTON
The workers are mostly happy
As long as they're on payrolls.
The market is looking snappy;
I'm sure to stay high in polls.

But I know that I am lucky--
There's issues that I avoid.
One day if the voter's angry,
Guess who gon' be unemployed?
(Uh oh!)

Just vote for me,
Just vote for me,
No one can beat us, try and unseat us,
We'll win you'll see!
People'll yell and scream and shout,
Vowing that they will toss us out.
While we are sayin' that we'll be stayin'
Just vote for me!

DOLE
Just vote for me...

CLINTON
Just vote for me!

DOLE
Just vote for me...

CLINTON
Since life is sweet here we can't be beat here
Naturally!

DOLE
Just look at you, you liberal bum!

CLINTON
Speak for yourself and right-wing scum!

VOTER
Choosing's a riddle, I'm in the middle--

DOLE AND CLINTON
Just vote for me!

VOTERS
That Newt is a brute,
Al Gore is a bore,
While Bill makes me ill,
And Dole makes me snore,
And I think that Pat
Buchanan's a rat--
Rebuke all these flukes of polls! (Yeah!)

Now Jack's on attack,
An ex-quarterback,
The press is a mess,
We're under duress.
Just send up the howl:
We want Colin Powell--
And oh please no Perot!

DOLE AND CLINTON
Yeah, just vote for me,
Just vote for me.

VOTER
When the campaign begins to refrain
It's insanity!
What do we get? A lot of lies!
Listen again to both of these guys...

DOLE AND CLINTON
Each little phrase here bound to earn praise here--
Just vote for me!
Each little stat here better than that here--
Just vote for me!

VOTER
Each little word here sure is absurd here,
That's why I'm hatin' all the debatin'--
Yeah, I sure think here politics stink here--

DOLE AND CLINTON
Just vote for me!


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