Welcome to yet another document which I had nothing to do with the production of, all credit for this should go to Patrick M. Berry.

RED DWARF FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS LIST

Version 5.08, 25 March 1996

Maintained by Patrick M. Berry

pat@berry.Cary.NC.US

WHAT'S NEW IN THIS VERSION

  Added URLs for the Oxford and Utrecht WWW versions of this list.
  Changed the URL for the alt.tv.red-dwarf WWW page to reflect the
  switch from cathouse to ftech.
  Updated America Online and CompuServe information.
  The hard-to-describe green vegetable in bhindi bhaji has been
  identified as okra.
  Totally rewrote "Will there be a Series Seven?".
  Corrected the number of a Space Corps Peace Conference Directive.
  Added the ftp://ftp.shu.ac.uk/pub/red-dwarf/ ftp site.
  Added the true origin of the Series Six Kryten suit.
  Deleted the Ted Danson/Eddie Murphy movie rumor.
  Added note about Lorraine Toussaint on LAW AND ORDER.
  Added name and fate of Christopher Pile, virus programmer.
  Updated URL for Michael Nagy's WWW page and added his ftp site.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

What is RED DWARF?

Where can I see RED DWARF in the United States? Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF? Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise? Is there an episode guide for RED DWARF? Did RED DWARF start on radio? Is there an American version of RED DWARF? Who is Grant Naylor? Where can I write to the cast and crew of the show? What does "smeg" mean? What are the lyrics to the theme song? What does "LEVEL NIVELO" mean? What are some of the foods mentioned on the show? Why is Holly now a woman? How did Kryten change? What happened to the Red Dwarf and Holly? What's the "lost" ending to "Out of Time"? Will there be a Series Seven? Was Craig Charles arrested for rape? What's the title of the last episode of Series Two? What are the lyrics to "Tongue Tied"? What are they really saying in "Backwards?" Who is Gordon Bennett? How many times has Rimmer had sex? How many people were in Red Dwarf's crew? How can Rimmer leave the ship? How did the Polymorph touch Rimmer? How many times has Starbug crashed? Didn't Lister have his appendix out twice? What's in canister 1121? Are there books about RED DWARF? Are there RED DWARF fan clubs? Where can I find online information about RED DWARF? Should I post RED DWARF graphic images or sounds? Are there RED DWARF magazines? Is there a RED DWARF computer game? Has RED DWARF won any awards? What are the Space Corps Directives?

CREDITS

This FAQ List was originally created by Michael J. Montoure and Renee Ann Byrd. New information for this version was contributed by the following people:

  Michael Burke
  Francis Greenaway
  John E. Harrington
  Joseph Kerezman
  Bette Llewellyn
  John Lobaugh
  Alan Moon
  Michael Nagy
  Tim Nobes
  Rebecca Ulph
  Dave Williamson
  Holly5120@aol.com
  James-X
  Raz
  RyanIA@aol.com

HOW TO FIND THE LATEST VERSION OF THIS LIST

The current version of this list is posted every 14 days to alt.tv.red-dwarf, alt.answers, and news.answers. You can access it at any time by the following methods:

(Look under R for RED DWARF.)

You can also request the FAQ List by email from the FAQ archives at MIT. Send a message to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the following as the body of the message:

send /pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/red_dwarf-faq

If you can't get a copy by any of the methods described above, email me (pat@berry.Cary.NC.US) and I'll send you a copy.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE

This document is Compilation Copyright 1993-1996 by Patrick M. Berry. It may be freely redistributed in its entirety provided that this copyright notice is not removed. It may not be sold for profit or incorporated in commercial documents without the written permission of the copyright holder.

Subject: What is RED DWARF?

RED DWARF is a British science fiction comedy series that has been on the air in the U.K. since 1988. It is the brainchild of "Grant Naylor", a creative team consisting of Rob Grant and Doug Naylor, who write and produce the show. The premise of the show is best summed up by the opening narration used in the first series:

"This is an S.O.S. distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf. The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak. The only survivors are Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived three million years later, Lister's only companions are a life-form who evolved from his cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew." --- Holly, the ship's computer

The regular cast of the series is:

  Dave Lister...............................Craig Charles
  Arnold Rimmer..............................Chris Barrie
  Holly.....................................Norman Lovett (series 1-2)
                                          Hattie Hayridge (series 3-5)
  The Cat................................Danny John-Jules
  Kryten.................................Robert Llewellyn
RED DWARF is also a series of novels based on the TV show. The novels greatly expand on, and are greatly different from, the show. Many of the same ideas appear in the novels, but these ideas are put together in new and interesting ways. Three novels have been published so far:

  RED DWARF: INFINITY WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS
  by Grant Naylor
  ISBN 0-14-012437-3
  Penguin, 1989

  RED DWARF: BETTER THAN LIFE
  by Grant Naylor
  ISBN 0-14-012438-1
  Penguin, 1990

  RED DWARF: THE LAST HUMAN
  by Doug Naylor
  ISBN 0-67-085255-4
  Viking, 1995
To everyone's surprise, THE LAST HUMAN was written by Doug Naylor only. The paperback edition will be published in October 1995. Rob Grant has expressed interest in writing a book based on RED DWARF, but it's not known whether he will do so.

The first two novels have also been published in one volume:

  RED DWARF OMNIBUS
  by Grant Naylor
  ISBN 0-14-017466-4
  Penguin, 1991
This combined rerelease also contains the script for "Dave Hollins, Space Cadet" (one of the SON OF CLICHE sketches that started it all -- see "Did RED DWARF start on radio?"), a reproduction of the beer mat on which the idea for Red Dwarf was allegedly first written, and the original script for "The End" (the first episode of the series).

Subject: Where can I see RED DWARF in the United States?

RED DWARF is seen on public television stations across the country. If your local PBS station doesn't show it, write to them, and convince your friends to write to them, until they do! All six series are available for purchase by PBS member stations.

If you don't know when (or if) your local PBS station shows RED DWARF, check your local listings or call the station and ask. Please don't post the question to alt.tv.red-dwarf; that will send it all over the planet, annoying people who don't know or care about your local station's programming. Besides, the other methods are faster.

Subject: Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF?

Videotapes of Series 1 through 6 are available at video stores in the throughout the British Commonwealth and in the U.S.

In Australia, all episodes are available from ABC stores (along with books, T-shirts, and other RD merchandise).

In the Netherlands, you can get them from W.H. Smith stores.

In Sweden, Series 1-5 and the Smeg-Ups tape are available from:

        SF-Bokhandeln
        Stora Nygatan 45
        111 27 Stockholm.

        Telephone: 08/21 50 52.
        Fax: 08/24 77 30.
        E-mail: order@sfbok.se
        WWW: http://www.sfbok.se/sfbok/sfbok.html
[Let me know about availability in other countries and I'll add the information here. -- PMB]

The alt.comedy.british FAQ List includes an excellent list of mail-order dealers who will ship British comedy videotapes to overseas customers. Refer to:

http://cathouse.org/BritishComedy/Info/a.c.b_FAQ/

ftp://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/british-comedy/general-faq/part4

"Red Dwarf Smeg-Ups," a collection of outtakes from the series, was

released on video in the fall of 1994. At this writing, it is

apparently available only in the U.K. and Australia.

Subject: Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise?

You can order RED DWARF stuff (books, books on tape, T-shirts, baseball caps, SMEGAZINE back issues, NTSC videotapes, etc.) from John McElroy. For a free catalogue, write to:

  JOHN MCELROY
  2401 Fox Plaza
  1390 Market Street
  San Francisco, CA 94102 USA

  T-shirts, greeting cards, and other items can be ordered by mail from:

  Distribution Network
  12 Deerpark Road
  London
  SW19 3TU
  UK
  Telephone: 0181-543-1231

  Most of the RED DWARF-related books can be ordered from:

  Star Tech
  Box 456
  Dunlap, TN 37327
  USA
Merchandise is also available from some of the fan clubs (see "Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?"). The Official RED DWARF Fan Club (U.K.) has its own line of merchandise. The New Zealand-based fan club Zed Shift operates a mail-order service for members living in New Zealand.

Other sources of RED DWARF memorabilia are listed in the book THE MAKING OF RED DWARF (see "Are there books about RED DWARF?").

Subject: Is there an episode guide for RED DWARF?

The RED DWARF PROGRAMME GUIDE (see "Are there books about RED DWARF?") contains an extensive episode guide for the series. If you're looking for an electronic guide, Otto Heuer maintains a very good one, available by anonymous ftp:

ftp://toaster.ee.ubc.ca/pub/red-dwarf/red-dwarf-guide

To get you started, here's a quick list created by Dale Clayton :

  Series 1 - 1988                      Series 2 - 1988

  1 The End....................15 Feb   7 Kryten.................... 6 Sep
  2 Future Echoes..............22 Feb   8 Better Than Life..........13 Sep
  3 Balance of Power...........29 Feb   9 Thanks for the Memory.....20 Sep
  4 Waiting For God............ 7 Mar  10 Stasis Leak...............27 Sep
  5 Confidence & Paranoia......14 Mar  11 Queeg..................... 4 Oct
  6 Me^^2......................21 Mar  12 Parallel Universe.........11 Oct

  Series 3 - 1989                      Series 4 - 1991

  13 Backwards.................14 Nov  19 Camille...................14 Feb
  14 Marooned..................21 Nov  20 D.N.A.....................21 Feb
  15 Polymorph.................28 Nov  21 Justice...................28 Feb
  16 Bodyswap.................. 5 Dec  22 White Hole.................7 Mar
  17 Timeslides................12 Dec  23 Dimension Jump............14 Mar
  18 The Last Day..............19 Dec  24 Meltdown..................21 Feb

  Series 5 - 1992                      Series 6 - 1993

  25 Holoship..................20 Feb  31 Psirens................... 7 Oct
  26 The Inquisitor............27 Feb  32 Legion....................14 Oct
  27 Terrorform................ 5 Mar  33 Gunmen of the Apocalypse..21 Oct
  28 Quarantine................12 Mar  34 Emohawk: Polymorph II.....28 Oct
  29 Demons and Angels.........19 Mar  35 Rimmerworld............... 4 Nov
  30 Back To Reality...........26 Mar  36 Out of Time...............11 Nov

Subject: Did RED DWARF start on radio?

Not exactly. Rob Grant and Doug Naylor wrote the short-lived radio series SON OF CLICHE (broadcast for two six-episode seasons on BBC Radio 4 in 1984). In an ongoing series of sketches, a space cadet named Dave Hollins was trapped alone on a spaceship with a slightly senile computer called HAB. (The voice of HAB was provided by Chris Barrie, the actor who plays Rimmer in RED DWARF.) Many of the ideas and jokes from these sketches were later incorporated into RED DWARF, but there is no direct connection.

The script for one of the "Dave Hollins, Space Cadet" sketches is included in the RED DWARF OMNIBUS (see "What is RED DWARF?").

Subject: Is there an American version of RED DWARF?

No, not really. The NBC network expressed interest in an American version of the show and two pilots were made by Universal, but no series was ever produced.

The first pilot was written by Linwood Boomer and filmed on 22 January 1992 at Universal City Studios in Los Angeles. The cast included the following actors:

  Dave Lister.................................Craig Bierko
  Arnold Rimmer.............................Chris Eigelman
  Holly........................................Jane Leeves
  Kryten..................................Robert Llewellyn
  The Cat....................................Hinton Battle
  Christine Kochanski...................Elizabeth Morehead
  First Officer Munson...................Michael Heintzman
  Captain Tau...........................Lorraine Toussaint
Grant Naylor served as technical consultants. Robert Llewellyn (from the BBC cast) reprised his role as Kryten. (Some fans may also recognize Jane Leeves from the American comedies MURPHY BROWN and FRAZIER. LAW AND ORDER fans may remember Lorraine Toussaint as public defender Shambala Greene.) The plot was a retelling of "The End", with some elements of "Future Echoes" thrown in for good measure. Some surprising and odd changes were made: for example, Lister was transformed into a clean-cut and well-dressed Caucasian, and the H on Rimmer's forehead was replaced with a silver marble.

After rejecting this version, NBC commissioned a second pilot with the following cast:

  Lister......................................Craig Bierko
  Rimmer....................................Anthony Fuscle
  Holly........................................Jane Leeves
  Kryten..................................Robert Llewellyn
  Cat........................................Terry Farrell
The second pilot was not a complete episode, but rather a promo that combined scenes from the first pilot and newly filmed segments spotlighting the new cast members. This pilot fixed some problems (such as restoring Rimmer's H), but had more odd changes, such as casting a woman as the Cat. (Terry Farrell went on to play Jadzia Dax on STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE.) The second pilot was also rejected, and the proposed series was shelved indefinitely.

[Does anyone know who wrote the second pilot, or when and where it was filmed? -- PMB]

Neither pilot has ever been aired or released on videocassette, but bootleg copies of the first pilot can be found at science fiction conventions. (The second pilot does not seem to have fallen into the hands of bootleggers.)

A redesigned Kryten suit (of somewhat better quality than the old BBC version) was made for the U.S. pilots by Joseph Kerezman and Mike Moore of JK Costuming. When the pilots were rejected, the BBC created a new Kryten suit (based on the U.S. one) for Series Six.

Subject: Who is Grant Naylor?

The "About the Author" note in the RED DWARF novels (see "What is RED DWARF?") has this to say about the creator(s) of the series:

"Grant Naylor is a gestalt entity occupying two bodies, one of which lives in north London, the other in south London. The product of a horribly botched genetic-engineering experiment, which took place in Manchester in the late fifties, they try to eke out two existences with only one mind. They attended the same school and the same university, but, for tax reasons, have completely different wives.

The first body is called Rob Grant, the second Doug Naylor. Among other things, they spent three years in the mid-eighties as head writers of SPITTING IMAGE; wrote Radio Four's award-winning series SON OF CLICHE; penned the lyrics to a number one single; and created and wrote RED DWARF for BBC television.

They have made a living variously by being ice-cream salesmen, shoe-shop assistants and by attempting to sell dodgy life-assurance policies to close friends. They also spent almost two years on the night shift loading paper into computer printers at a mail-order factory in Ardwick. They can still taste the cheese 'n' onion toasties.

Their favourite colour is orange."

Grant Naylor's number one single was "The Chicken Song," a SPITTING IMAGE spinoff. Philip Pope composed the music and produced the record, which was released in 1986 by Virgin Records.

Subject: Where can I write to the cast and crew of the show?

The Official RED DWARF Fan Club (UK) (see "Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?") will forward mail to the cast and crew. They do not open the mail if a covering letter explains what it is and asks for it to be forwarded.

Subject: What does "smeg" mean?

The characters in the show use it as an all-purpose profanity. Apparently derived from "smegma," the term for a particularly unpleasant bodily secretion, the slang term "smeg" was reportedly in use in England before the show premiered, although not commonly. Grant Naylor presumably adopted this little-known bit of Scouse profanity as a blanket replacement for all other swearing, to keep them out of trouble with the BBC and to poke fun at the long-standing convention in science-fiction of inventing futuristic slang.

Subject: What are the lyrics to the theme song?

  It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere
  I'm all alone, more or less
  Let me fly far away from here
  Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun

  I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose
  Drinking fresh mango juice
  Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes
  Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
  Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
There has been much debate over the "goldfish" line -- it is not sung very clearly, and some fans think it is simply "Goldfish *are* nibbling." However, in the "Smeg-Ups" tape (see "Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF?"), Robert Llewellyn recites the theme song lyrics, and they are as listed above. (A "shoal" is a school of fish.)

The theme song was composed by Howard Goodall and sung by Jenna Russell.

Subject: What does "LEVEL NIVELO" mean?

Red Dwarf is a bilingual ship, with English and Esperanto as the two official languages. "Nivelo" is the Esperanto word for "level". The signs in the corridors of the ship simply indicate (in both languages) what level you're on.

Esperanto is a real language, developed in the the 1880s by Polish ophthalmologist L.L. Zamenhof. The episode "Kryten" establishes that Lister, Holly, and Kryten all speak at least some Esperanto. Rimmer is shown trying -- and failing -- to learn Esperanto from a videotape.

The name "Esperanto" means "one who hopes," a fact that is alluded to in "Back to Reality."

Subject: What are some of the foods mentioned on the show?

"Vindaloo," the most frequently mentioned food item on the show, is a very, very hot Indian curry dish. Most Indian restaurants have them on the menu. They can contain almost any variety of meat, thus Lister's references to "mutton vindaloo," "chicken vindaloo," etc.

"Madras sauce" is another standard curry sauce, less hot than vindaloo.

"Poppadoms," another Indian food item, are thin lentil-flour wafers resembling tortillas, deep-fried until crisp.

A "shami kebab" is an appetizer served in Indian restaurants. It consists of finely ground meat and lots of spices, grilled over a flame. The meat is a mixture of pork and either goat (in more authentic restaurants) or beef (in less authentic ones). You typically get two shami kebabs with a salad side dish. Shami kebabs are sometimes prepared and served in an egg coating, similar to an omelette.

"Chutney" is a fruit piccalilli (pickled relish), often eaten with cold meat.

"Gazpacho soup" is a Spanish tomato-and-cucumber cold soup which often includes garlic, olive oil, and bread. It's common in Spain and in upscale American restaurants.

A "pot noodle" is an instant noodle product marketed in the U.K. by Golden Wonder, a snack food company. It's a plastic container with pre-cooked dried noodles and flavorings inside. To prepare it, you open the container, pour in boiling water, wait a few moments, and eat it.

A "kipper" is a herring, cured by splitting, salting, and smoking. Kippers are eaten as a breakfast food in some parts of the U.K.

A "Topic Bar" is a candy bar sold in the U.K., consisting of fondant and hazelnuts covered with chocolate. (This is what Lister means in "Marooned" when he says "Don't mention Topics, they're food.") One ad campaign for the Topic Bar used the slogan "A hazelnut in every bite." Thus, in "Stasis Leak", Rimmer complains, "Everything always goes wrong for me. I'm probably the only person in the world to buy a Topic Bar without a single hazelnut in it."

"Taramasalata" is a Greek appetizer consisting of a light paste of fish roe, olive oil, lemon juice, and moistened bread crumbs or mashed potatoes.

"Bhindi bhaji" is a vegetable dish made with okra.

"Tarka dhall" is a mild curry dish based on lentils.

Subject: Why is Holly now a woman? How did Kryten change?

The original actor to play Holly, Norman Lovett, left the series after a dispute over his salary. In an interview with RED DWARF SMEGAZINE (issue 9, November 1992), Lovett said that he asked to be paid the same as the other actors on the series, but his request was turned down. Hattie Hayridge had appeared in "Parallel Universe" as Hilly, Holly's female counterpart. "When Norman said he wasn't doing another series, I auditioned," she recalls. The character of Holly kept the same name and personality despite the recasting.

Kryten's original actor, David Ross, wasn't available to commit to a series when Grant Naylor decided to make Kryten a continuing character, so he was replaced by Robert Llewellyn. (Ross later returned in "White Hole" as the new voice of Talkie Toaster.) There were also several changes in the show's look between Series Two and Three, including changes in costumes, sets, and miniatures, particularly the addition of the Starbug and its hangar bay.

Most of these changes are more or less explained by the following words that scroll rapidly up the screen at the beginning of "Backwards":

"Three million years in the future, Dave Lister, the last human being alive, discovers he is pregnant after a liaison with his female self in a parallel universe. His pregnancy concludes with the successful delivery of twin boys, Jim and Bexley. However, because the boys were conceived in another universe, with different physical laws, they suffer from highly accelerated growth rates and are both eighteen years old within three days of being born. In order to save their lives, Lister returns them to the universe of their origin, where they are reunited with their father (a woman), and are able to lead comparatively normal lives. Well, as normal as you can be if you've been born in a parallel universe and your father's a woman and your mother's a man and you're eighteen years old three days after your birth. Shortly afterward, Kryten, the service mechanoid, who had left the ship after being rescued from his own crashed vessel, the Nova 5, is found in pieces after his space bike crashed into an asteroid. Lister rebuilds the 'noid, but is unable to recapture his former personality. Meanwhile, Holly, the increasingly erratic computer, performs a head sex change operation on himself. He bases his new face on Hilly, a female computer with whom he'd once fallen madly in love."

It *is* possible to read all this, using a VCR with good freeze-frame capabilities. Try it.

Subject: What happened to the Red Dwarf and Holly?

Throughout Series Six, the characters travel aboard Starbug; the Red Dwarf (and Holly) don't appear at all. This tends to confuse viewers who missed the explanation in "Psirens".

Briefly, what happened is this: Lister parked the Red Dwarf in orbit around a planetoid, and then forgot which planetoid it was. "They're all the same, those little blue-green planetoids. Blue-green and planetoidy." Subsequently, Red Dwarf was stolen "by persons or lifeforms unknown." Starbug followed the ship's vapor trail for over 200 years, with Lister and the Cat in deep sleep and Rimmer switched off to conserve power. At the first opportunity to actually catch up with Red Dwarf, Kryten revived the others, and the saga continued . . .

The real reason for the change was to eliminate Holly from the show. According to Hattie Hayridge, the parts for Holly and the Cat had both been getting smaller and smaller. Grant Naylor decided to drop one of the characters and expand the other. It was easier to drop Holly because many of her lines could be given to Kryten instead.

At a convention in January 1996, Doug Naylor anounced that *both* Lovett and Hayridge will be signed for Series Seven.

Subject: What's the "lost" ending to "Out of Time"?

The "Red Dwarf Smeg-Ups" videotape includes an ending for "Out of Time" that was filmed, but never used. LizBeth258@aol.com describes the ending as follows:

"Rimmer blows up the time drive. Seconds later, a laser cannon blast blows up one of the Starbugs, while a second one is seen flying in the upper right-hand corner of the screen.

In the next scene, Kryten is carrying a pitcher of yellow liquid into Starbug's hold while Rimmer, Lister and Cat are seated around the table with wine glasses in front of them. Kryten explains that they were never killed because Rimmer's actions in blowing up the time drive caused their future selves to cease to exist and notes that Rimmer had in fact saved the day. Rimmer grins broadly and tells Kryten that it was nothing and not to mention it while Lister claps him on the shoulder. Kryten then pours the 'homemade magaritas' into all four glasses and passes on better news: they are now a mere six hours behind Red Dwarf and that there is no doubt in his mind that they'll be able to catch up.

Kryten proposes a toast 'to the present' and all four click glasses and take a drink. Lister, wearing a foam mustache, makes a horrible face and exclaims that they aren't drinking magaritas, they're drinking 'urine recyc' and glares at Kryten. Rimmer and Cat, with their matching foam mustaches, also making nasty faces, give Kryten a dirty look. Kryten, with his foaming mustache, slouches with embarrassment in his chair."

Subject: Will there be a Series Seven?

Yes! In March 1996, Robert Llewellyn reported that "We are going into production on May 20, for 14 weeks." On 25 March, a voice-over announcement on BBC2 stated that the next series will be aired "early in the New Year."

However, Chris Barrie will not be in all of the new episodes. Throughout 1995, articles in various U.K. newspapers reported that Barrie was "in dispute with the show" or that he was quitting. In February 1996, the DAILY EXPRESS reported that Barrie would appear in just two episodes of the new BBC2 series. However, Llewellyn stated in March that "he is in at least 4 episodes, possibly more."

Series Seven will bring some other changes, according to Llewellyn: "I am writing one episode, it's called 'Beyond a Joke' at the moment, but more than that I am not at liberty to divulge. The rest of the cast remains the same, although there will be one new character, ha ha. And guess what. I am under strict instructions not to say anything about him/her. . . . I have a new mask and a new costume. Same basic design, hopefully more comfortable."

Subject: Was Craig Charles arrested for rape?

Yes, but he was cleared of all charges.

On 8 July 1994, Esther Harman (a former stripper and Charles's ex-girlfriend) filed a charge of rape against him. Charles was arrested, imprisoned, and denied bail. On 25 October, after being attacked (but not wounded) by a fellow inmate wielding a homemade knife, Charles was released on bail.

The trial began on 20 February 1995 and lasted for two weeks. No forensic evidence was shown to exist proving that a rape had occurred. In his instructions to the jury, the judge stated that a woman's claim to have been raped doesn't prove that she actually was. The jury took less than ninety minutes to find Charles not guilty. Afterwards, Charles made an emotional appeal to the press for the anonymity of those accused of rape.

Subject: What's the title of the last episode of Series Two?

"Parallel Universe," according to the RADIO TIMES and the label of the BBC videotape release. No title in given the episode, which begins with a musical number instead of the usual titles sequence.

Subject: What are the lyrics to "Tongue Tied"?

"Parallel Universe" begins with a musical number that turns out to be a dream had by the self-centered Cat. The studio audience's laughter makes the lyrics a little hard to understand, but combining a couple of different posters' ideas of what they were gave us this:

  The Cat:                                      Chorus -- Lister and Rimmer:

  When I saw you for the first time             (first time)
  My knees began to quiver                      (quiver)
  And I got a funny feeling                     (feeling)
  In my kidneys and my liver                    (digestive system baby)

  My hands they started shakin'                 (shakin')
  My heart began a-thumpin'                     (boom boom boom)
  My breakfast left my body                     (huey huey huey)
  It all really tells me something

  Girl you make me tongue tied                  (tongue tied)
  Tongue tied, whenever you are near me         (near me)
  Tied tongue                                   (tied tongue)
  Tied tongue                                   (tied tongue)
  Whenever you're in town

  I saw you 'cross the dance floor              (dancin')
  I thought of birds and bees                   (reproductive system baby)
  And when I tried to speak to ya               (talk talk)
  My tongue unraveled to my knees               (flippety-flippety-flop)

  I tried to say I love you                     (love you)
  But it came out kind of wrong, girl           (wrong girl)
  It sounded like "Nunubididoo"                 (tongue tied)
  Nuh mur nuh murh ni nong nurl

  'Cause you make me tongue tied                (tongue tied)
  Tongue tied, whenever you are near me         (near me)
  Be-dobby-durgle                               (dobby-durgle)
  Tongue tied                                   (tongue tied)
  Whenever you're around

  Oh I'm beggin' on my knees
  Sweet, sweet darling, listen please
  Understand me when I say
  Bedurble-diggle-doggle-dooby-doggle-durgle-day

  I'm trying to say nungy-nangy                 (nangy-nungy)
  Ningy-nongy, why can't I tell you clearly     (clearly)
  Be-dobby-durgle                               (dobby-durgle)
  Durgle-dobby                                  (durgle-dobby)
  Whenever you're around                        (around)
  Whenever you're around                        (around)
In the fall of 1993, "Tongue Tied" was released as a single in England and rose to #17 in the Gallup UK Top 40. The artist was listed simply as "The Cat." A music video of "Tongue Tied" was reportedly shown on the TOP OF THE POPS show in England and on MTV in the States. Copies of the video (and a half-hour program on the making of the video) are available from John McElroy (see "Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise?").

Subject: What are they really saying in "Backwards"?

Most of the reversed dialogue in the episode "Backwards" is pretty much either what the subtitles say it is or what you'd expect from context; some of it actually appears to be random noise. There are two notable exceptions, however.

When Lister and the Cat steal a bicycle, its owner yells after them, "You scoundrels! Return my bike immediately!" -- at least, according to the subtitles. What he actually says, however, is, "Oi! Hey! Oi, you robbing bastards, that's our tandem!"

Later, when the stage manager comes in to yell at Rimmer and Kryten, he appears to be blaming them for starting the "fight." Here's what he's actually saying:

"Frankly, your act's crap. Anyway, anybody could have done it. I hate the lot of you. Bollocks to you! . . . You are a stupid, square-headed, bald git, aren't you? I ain't pointing at you, I'm pointing at you. But I'm not actually addressing you, I'm addressing the one prat in the country who's bothered to get hold of this recording, turn it round, and actually work out the rubbish that I'm saying. What a poor, sad life he's got!"

Subject: Who is Gordon Bennett?

"Gordon Bennett" is a name used by the characters, most notably Holly, as an expletive ("Gordon Bennett! What was that?"). James Gordon Bennett (1841-1918) was an American newspaper tycoon and multi- millionaire who is listed in the GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS for "Greatest Engagement Faux Pas." Bennett's engagement to Caroline May was broken in 1877 after he arrived late and drunk at the May family's New York mansion and urinated in the living room fireplace in front of his hosts. Today, Bennett's name is used as an expression of disbelief in England, and is essentially a euphemism for "God".

Subject: How many times has Rimmer has sex?

Only once while he was alive, with Yvonne McGruder, the ship's female boxing champion ("Thanks for the Memory"). The story he tells Lister in "Marooned", about losing his virginity in the back seat of his brother's car, appears to be false. Rimmer has had simulated sex in a virtual reality game ("Better Than Life") and holographic sex with another hologram ("Holoship").

Subject: How many people were in Red Dwarf's crew?

In "The End", Todhunter says "There are 169 people on board this ship." Yet in "Justice", the Justice Computer charges Rimmer with 1,167 counts of murder for causing the deaths of the entire crew. What gives?

RED DWARF is full of minor inconsistencies like this one. When Grant Naylor come up with a good idea (such as the "light bee" -- see "How can Rimmer leave the ship?"), they don't worry overmuch about whether it contradicts something in a previous episode. In this case, they evidently decided that a larger crew was more appropriate for a ship five miles long and three miles in diameter.

One possible explanation is that the Justice Computer got its information from Rimmer's mind, and Rimmer has an inflated notion of his own importance. In addition to overstating his own responsibility for the deaths of the crew, he may have exaggerated the number of people involved.

Subject: How can Rimmer leave the ship?

Because Rimmer is a computer-generated hologram, some viewers are confused when he leaves Red Dwarf and visits planets, space stations, other ships, and so forth. In early episodes, Rimmer was generated by the Red Dwarf's onboard holographic equipment, which allowed him to move freely about the ship. He was also able to travel on the Red Dwarf's auxilary vessels (Blue Midget and White Giant), which presumably carry their own hologram generators. He could only visit the surface of a planet within a Hologram Projection Cage, as seen in "Thanks for the Memory".

This limitation proved to be inconvenient, so Grant Naylor came up with another explanation, the "light bee". This device is a tapered cylinder about one inch in diameter and three inches long that "buzzes around inside him and projects his image" (as described by Holly in "Meltdown"). The light bee can go anywhere, allowing Rimmer to leave the ship without needing a projection cage.

Some fans have speculated that the light bee was invented sometime during Series 2 (by Holly) or Series 3 (by either Holly or Kryten). However, this doesn't explain how Rimmer was able to leave the Blue Midget and enter the wreck of the Nova 5 in "Kryten", two episodes *before* he was shown in a projection cage.

Subject: How did the Polymorph touch Rimmer?

In the episode "Polymorph", a shape-changing creature that feeds on emotions invades the Red Dwarf. This creature uses its shapeshifting ability to provoke an emotional response, then attaches a sucker to the victim's forehead and sucks out the emotion. Lister, the Cat, Kryten, and Rimmer all succumb to the creature's attack.

Some fans have asked how the Polymorph could possibly attach its sucker to Rimmer (who is, after all, a hologram). Two possible explanations have been suggested: either the sucker actually made contact with Rimmer's light bee (see "How can Rimmer leave the ship?"), or the Polymorph can change into a hologram. Holograms can touch each other, as demonstrated in "Parallel Universe."

Subject: How many times has Starbug crashed?

There are at least two vehicles called "Starbug" on board the Red Dwarf, and they seem to crash-land or collide with things an awful lot. Crash landings occur in the following episodes:

  "Backwards"                     "Terrorform"
  "Marooned"                      "Psirens"
  "Bodyswap"                      "Gunmen of the Apocalypse"
  "Dimension Jump"                "Emohawk: Polymorph II"
The crashed Starbug was abandoned on more than one occasion, indicating either that more than two of them exist, or that facilities exist on board Red Dwarf to manufacture replacement Starbugs.

Subject: Didn't Lister have his appendix out twice?

In "Thanks for the Memory", we learn that Lister had his appendix removed years ago. In "Legion", it gets removed again. How is this possible?

Some fans have theorized that Lister's appendix was regenerated in "DNA", along with the rest of his body. In reality, this was a continuity error. The error is briefly referred to and (sort of) cleared up in the latest novel RED DWARF: THE LAST HUMAN (see "What is RED DWARF?"). It is also mentioned in the questions section on the "Smeg-Ups" video (see "Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF?").

Subject: What's in canister 1121?

According to the RED DWARF QUIZ BOOK (see "Are the books about RED DWARF?"), it's the remains of Kristine Kochanski. When Lister comes back to life on the backwards Earth, he discovers that he's married to an elderly version of Kochanski. Presumably, treating the canister with gamma and X rays was part of Holly's plan for restoring her to life along with Lister. (If none of this makes any sense to you, you haven't read the ending of the novel BETTER THAN LIFE -- see "What is RED DWARF?".)

The original script for "The End" included a scene (cut from the final version) in which Lister placed the powdered remains of each crewmember in a separate canister and ejected them all into space (and this is done with George McIntyre's remains in the aired version). It's reasonable to conclude that Lister did this, although nothing is said about it in either the episode or the novel. The number of canisters floating in space ("something in the region of ten thousand") is consistent with the size of the crew given in INFINITY WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS (eleven thousand, one hundred and sixty-nine).

Subject: Are there books about RED DWARF?

Numerous RED DWARF reference works are available:

  THE OFFICIAL RED DWARF COMPANION
  by Bruce Dessau
  ISBN 1-85286-456-7
  Titan, 1992
This thin little book (95 pages) has a lot of wasted space, but some interesting quotes and information and some wonderful color photos throughout. If you're looking for in-depth, solid information about the show, this isn't where you'll find it; but if you want a nice, light read, a collector's item, and an attractive coffee-table book, this is it. Available in England and at conventions in the U.S.

  RED DWARF PROGRAMME GUIDE
  by Chris Howarth and Steve Lyons
  ISBN 0-86-369682-1
  Virgin, 1995
"Everything you never wanted to know about the smash smega-series." An in-depth collection (about 230 pages) of information about series 1-5. It includes sections on History, The Characters, The Programmes, The Index, The Creators (cast and production crew), and The Spin-offs. The Index is by far the largest section of the book and is an alphabetical list of almost everything mentioned to during the series, from "A to Z of Red Dwarf, The" to "Zoom function".

Note: This book contains an incorrect address for the Official RED DWARF Fan Club (U.K.). For the correct address, see "Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?".

  RED DWARF -- PRIMORDIAL SOUP: THE LEAST WORST SCRIPTS
  by Grant Naylor
  ISBN 0-14-017886-4
  Penguin, 1993
This book contains the complete scripts for "Polymorph," "Marooned," "Dimension Jump," "Justice," "Back to Reality," and "Psirens." Not published in the U.S., but available from John McElroy (see "Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise?") and other distributors of imported books.

  THE MAN IN THE RUBBER MASK
  by Robert Llewellyn
  ISBN 0-14-023575-2
  Penguin, 1994
A very nice little book, detailing Llewellyn's involvement in RED DWARF from the beginning of Series 3 through the filming of the American pilots (see "Is there an American RED DWARF?"). Predictably, there is some complaining about the Rubber Mask, but only a little. There are plenty of anecdotes and stories, and lots of trivia. The section on the American pilots is especially revealing, and gives some plausible reasons why the whole project fell through. Not an essential purchase for RED DWARF fans, but a very good one indeed.

  THE MAKING OF RED DWARF
  by Joe Nazzaro
  ISBN 0-14-023206-0
  Penguin, 1994

  A rather slender book with lots of nice colour photographs.  Focuses
  on the making of "Gunmen Of The Apocalypse".  The book goes into a
  fair amount of detail, but nothing that couldn't have been gleaned
  from a half-dozen back issues of the now-defunct SMEGAZINE (see "Are
  there RED DWARF magazines?"). The book's main strength is the added
  material: some great photos, fragments of the original "Gunmen" script
  (mostly stage directions, but also one unfilmed scene) and storyboards
  used in the filming.  The back of the book contains information on how
  you can purchase RED DWARF paraphernalia such as t-shirts, baseball
  caps, and models of Starbug and Kryten.

  RED DWARF QUIZ BOOK
  by Nicky Hooks and Sharon Burnett
  ISBN 0-14-023662-7
  Penguin, 1994
RED DWARF trivia and mind-bending teasers. Contains questions such as "What was referred to as a small off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden?", crosswords, word searches, "who said . . .", information about the cast, and photos. After a while, though, you have to wonder about the mind of someone who can put together questions such as "What follows the leaflet campaign?" or "What was in canister 1121?"

Subject: Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?

Yes, fan clubs exist in several countries. Here's a list:

THE OFFICIAL RED DWARF FAN CLUB (U.K.)

This club is based in England, but has addresses in several other countries. Membership includes three issues of their magazine BETTER THAN LIFE, a badge, and a membership card. Membership rates (per year) are as follows:

  UK/BFPO      - 8.50 Sterling
  Europe       - 9.50 Sterling equivalent
  Eire         - IR#10     (8.50  Sterling)
  USA          - US$20.00  (??.?? Sterling)
  Australia    - A$27.00   (13.00 Sterling)
  New Zealand  - NZ$32.00  (11.00 Sterling)
Cash or cheques in your local currency are accepted, but take weeks rather than days to clear. If you prefer to send an International Money Order, the equivalent rates are shown above. Write to:

  U.K.:  40 Pitford Road           Eire:       Caroline Griffin
         Woodley                               67 Rafters Road
         Reading                               Drimnagh
         RG5 4QF                               Dublin 12

  U.S.:  Jupiter Mining Company    Australia:  Tom Marwede
         P.O. Box 13097                        PO Box 1044
         Coyote, CA 95013                      Bundoora 3083
                                               Victoria
Note: The address listed in the RED DWARF PROGRAMME GUIDE (see "Are there books about RED DWARF?") is incorrect.

THE OFFICIAL RED DWARF FAN CLUB (U.S.)

The U.S. fan club appears to be defunct. Mail sent to the U.S. address is being returned, and fans who joined at conventions have not received the newsletter or the other materials that should have been mailed to them.

Mike Gardiner has served as an unofficial Internet contact for this club in the past. If you sent money to the club and did not receive what you were promised, contact Mike and he'll try to get your money refunded.

  ZED SHIFT (New Zealand)
  PO Box 10104
  Wellington
  New Zealand
Zed Shift publishes a quarterly magazine (GARBAGE POD), operates a mail-order service for New Zealand members, and holds the occasional meeting. Members receive four issues of GARBAGE POD, a guide to RED DWARF, a membership card, and a hologram H.

The cost of one year's membership in NZ dollars is:

- New Zealand $15

- Australia $20

- Rest of world $25

For a registration form, send an SAE or IRC.

  BETTER THAN LIFE (Germany)
  Sylvia Pranga
  Isolde-Kurz-Str. 145 (36)
  W-4400 Munster-Nienberge
  GERMANY
This club publishes a newsletter (mostly in German) called TALKIE TOASTER (TM).

Subject: Where can I find online information about RED DWARF?

WORLD WIDE WEB: There are several known RED DWARF home pages. These carry information on scripts, links to the FTP site, quotes, and other goodies.

Paul Wain's page:

Legion's page:

The alt.tv.red-dwarf page:

Mark Gaither's page:

Fission Chips's page:

J. Dondzil's page:

Kev Davis's page:

Fenric's page:

Michael Nagy's page:

FTP SITES: Files related to RED DWARF can be found at the following sites:

  
  
  
  
  
  
The site formerly run by Dave Gagne at the University of British Columbia is no longer being maintained.

INTERNET RELAY CHAT: Regular IRC parties are held on Sunday nights at 20:30, Greenwich Mean Time. Many people from the newsgroup drop in both on this night and many other times during the week, on the EFNet #starbug channel.

  Continent       North America            Europe           Australia
  ---------- ----------------------- ------------------ ----------------
| Time code       PST        EST        GMT     CET        WST      EST
| Example     Los Angeles  New York    London  Paris      Perth   Sydney
| Time           12:30      15:30      20:30   21:30      05:30    07:30
| From GMT       -8hrs      -5hrs       ---    +1hr       +9hrs    +11hrs
Adam Jewell opens a #RED-DWARF channel on Mon-Thurs from 4:00-8:30 p.m. EST and from 5:00pm EST "till whenever."

NEWSGROUP: There is a Usenet newsgroup devoted to news and discussion about RED DWARF:

news:alt.tv.red-dwarf MAILING LIST: If you have email capability, you can subscribe to a RED DWARF mailing list.

Type the following text as the body of the message:

subscribe reddwarf Your Name

Do *not* send to the old uel.ac.uk address. You won't be subscribed, and your message will only make life difficult for the staff at the University of East London.

ONLINE SERVICES

CompuServe: RED DWARF discussions can be found in the second Sci-Fi/Fantasy Media forum. GO SFMEDTWO and select Message section 15: Red Dwarf.

America Online: AOL has a Red Dwarf area that can be reached by using keyword: Dr Who, then choosing British Science Fiction, and then choosing Red Dwarf.

AOL also has a RED DWARF mailing list. Digests are sent out once a day containing posts from various members. The facilitator says: "I've been known to send out chatlogs from AOL chats, RD sounds, and imitation Flibble erasers to those interested." To subscribe, email Holly5120@aol.com -- put "RD List" in the subject line and "Flobber dob blib blob bleeb, please" as the message (or just ask to be signed up). The end result of such an action should be the receipt of a welcoming message.

Finally, Holly5120 holds a RED DWARF chat session on alternate Fridays at 10:00 EST in the Tardis Console Room (keyword DrWho).

GEnie: RED DWARF discussions can be found in the British TV topic of the SHOWBIZ RT.

Prodigy: The SCIENCE FICTION BB has an active topic called "Red Dwarf".

Subject: Should I post RED DWARF graphic images and sounds?

Please don't post uuencoded binaries to alt.tv.red-dwarf or to the RED DWARF mailing list -- they're for discussion only. Upload your graphic images, sounds, or programs to one of the FTP sites (see "Where can I find online information about RED DWARF?") or post them to an appropriate alt.binaries.* newsgroup. Then post an article to alt.tv.red-dwarf or the mailing list telling everyone where you put the goodies.

There are good reasons for this request. First of all, uuencoded binaries take up a lot of space. Many sites simply do not have disk space for them. If you start posting binaries, those sites will be forced to drop the newsgroup, depriving everyone at that site of news and information about RED DWARF.

Also, many people have to pay for their net access by the second. Huge binaries cost those people a lot of money. Those people may be forced to stop receiving newsgroups and mailing lists to which binaries are posted. Thus we are deprived of their wit and wisdom.

Summary: If you post binaries, everybody suffers.

Subject: Are there RED DWARF magazines?

RED DWARF SMEGAZINE, the official magazine for the series, ceased publication with Volume 2 Issue 9 (December 1993). Some back issues are available from John McElroy and Star Tech (see "Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise?").

Several RED DWARF newsletters or fanzines are published by RED DWARF fan clubs (see "Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?"). In addition, two independent fanzines are known to exist:

  STEASIS LEAK
  Space Rat Press
  P.O. Box 422
  Park Ridge, NJ 07656 USA
U.S./Canada/and Mexico: $12 U.S. per issue

Elsewhere: $15 U.S. per issue

STASIS LEAK is written by Joe Nazarro, who also wrote THE MAKING OF RED DWARF (see "Are there RED DWARF books?") and formerly wrote for the SMEGAZINE. Three issues have been published so far:

#1 Interviews with Grant Naylor, Chris Barrie, Hattie Hayridge, Andria Pannell (makeup designer). RED DWARF fiction, article on U.S. pilot, Series 5 preview and production notes, trivia quiz, an "old vs. new" debate, and an episode guide for seasons 1 and 2. Black and white photos inside throughout and back cover. Color photo cover of Rimmer from "Holoship." 50 pages.

#2 Interviews with Craig Charles and Danny John-Jules, plus Craig's press conference from Visions '92. More RED DWARF fiction, book reviews, a preview and production notes for Series 6, reader survey results, and episode guide for Series 3 and 4. Black and white photos inside, color photo cover of Duane Dibbley. 54 pages.

#3 In diary form, this issue chronicles Nazzaro's experiences on the set of the series and provides a glimpse into the editing of THE MAKING OF RED DWARF. It contains all of the material that didn't make it into that book, including behind-the-scenes photos and script outtakes. [Does anyone have a page count? -- PMB]

  THE SMALL ROUGE ONE
  Peg Kennedy and Bill Hupe
  Footrot Flats
  916 Lamb Road
  Mason, WI 48854 USA

  U.S./Canada/Mexico: $7 U.S.
  Elsewhere: inquire
Devoted entirely to original RED DWARF fiction. One issue so far, containing four stories: "Special Delivery," "Companionship," "Virus," and "A RED DWARF Christmas Carol." The last three form a sort of trilogy. Center artwork and color artwork cover. 5 1/2 x 8 1/2, 56 pages.

  TALES FROM THE DWARFSIDE
  Time Meddlers of Los Angeles
  P.O. Box 4092
  North Hollywood, CA 91617-0092
$10.00 postpaid, photocopied

Primarily fiction. The November 1994 issue contains the following stories:

  "Homecoming" by Joshua Lou Friedman
  "Introspection and Catharsis" by Jill Sherwin
  "Fuschal" by Matthew G. Mitchell
  "Hairball" by David McGorray
  "Judgment Day" by Brenda M. Sulley
  "The Quagaar" by Dean Kaufman
  "Company of Heroes" by Derek Spencer & Jeff McCree
  "Body Language" by Jim Shaun Lyon
Also included are an article called "Recipes from the Talky Toaster" by Dana Lynn Roberts, interior art by Deanna Bayless, and cover art by Marlys Walburger.

Subject: Is there a RED DWARF computer game?

Not yet, but there may be one someday. Dino Boni, a journalist working for a U.K. computer magazine, reported in June 1994 that two software companies were considering publishing a graphical RED DWARF adventure game for the IBM PC.

axel@origin.ea.com reports the following: "In 1991 I was working for Imagitec Design, a computer games company based in Dewsbury, West Yorkshire, England. We had a full game design/plot written up and partially storyboarded, ready to be submitted for approval from Grant & Naylor. They were very excited about the prospect of a game since the 'Better Than Life' theme would link nicely to the series. We approached Gremlin Graphics, in Sheffield, to handle the licensing. The deal came to a standstill when Noel Gay TV wanted way too much money for the license and so the game never saw the light of day."

There are two DOS computer viruses ("Pathogen" and "Queeg") written by | Christopher Pile, evidently a RED DWARF fan. When activated, the "Pathogen" virus displays the following message:

Your hard-disk is being corrupted, courtesy of PATHOGEN! Programmed in the U.K. (Yes, NOT Bulgaria!) [C] The Black Baron 1993-4. Featuring SMEG v0.1: Simulated Metamorphic Encryption Generator! 'Smoke me a kipper, I`ll be back for breakfast.....' Unfortunately some of your data won't!!!!!

These viruses were first detected in February of 1994. Reuters reported on 22 July 1994 that Pile had been arrested and charged with creating the viruses. On 16 November 1995, the U.K. newspaper THE DAILY MAIL reported that Pile had been sentenced to 18 months in prison for the damage done by the viruses (estimated to be at least 500,000 pounds worth in the U.K. alone.

Subject: Has RED DWARF won any awards?

At the 1994 International Emmy Awards, the RED DWARF episode "Gunmen of the Apocalypse," tied with ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS (Series 2: "Hospital") in the Popular Arts category. The International Emmys are awarded by the International Council of the National Academy of TV Arts & Sciences. RED DWARF was also nominated for International Emmys in 1987, 1989, and 1992.

At the 1994 British Comedy Awards, RED DWARF won Best BBC Situation Comedy.

At Eastercon 1989 and 1992, RED DWARF received the Best Dramatic Presentation award. At the Cult TV 1994 convention, awards were presented to Grant Naylor (Best Writers) and RED DWARF (Best Show).

Subject: What are the Space Corps Directives?

The following Space Corps Directives are mentioned in episodes of RED DWARF:

Article 5 Gross negligence leading to the endangerment of personnel. ("Queeg")

Article 169 [Exact text not given, but similar to 195.] ("Quarantine")

Article 195 In an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic crewmember must lay down his life in order that the living crewmembers might survive. ("White Hole")

Article 312 [Quarantine berths must] provide minimum leisure facilities. ("Quarantine")

Article 497 You have to work to earn credits for food. ("Queeg")

Article 597 One [quarantine] berth per crew member. ("Quarantine")

Article 699 [A crew member may] demand a re-screening after five days in quarantine. ("Quarantine")

Article 1742 No member in the Corps should ever report for active duty in a ginger toupee. ("Psirens")

Article 1743 No registered vessel should attempt to traverse an asteroid belt without deflectors. ("Psirens")

Article 5796 No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples. ("Psirens")

Article 5797 [Exact text not given, but has to do with Lister being unable to enter the ship for the safety of the crew.] ("Psirens")

Article 34124 No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity. ("Legion")

Article 68250 [Exact text not given, but involves at least one live chicken and a rabbi.] ("Emohawk: Polymorph II")

Article 196156 Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial. ("Rimmerworld")

(No # given) It is our primary overriding duty to contact other life forms, exchange information, and, whenever possible, bring them home. ("Polymorph")

Two All Nations agreements are also mentioned, both in "Gunmen of the Apocalypse":

| 39436175880932/C The right of POW's to non-violent constraint.

39436175880932/B All nations attending the conference are only allowed one car-parking space.

Finally, Rimmer cites the following two "Rimmer Directives":

Article 271 No chance, you metal bastard! ("White Hole")

(No # given) Never tangle with anything that's got more teeth

than the entire Osmond family. ("Polymorph")

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