Welcome to yet another document which I had nothing to do with the production of, all credit for this should go to Patrick M. Berry.
WHAT'S NEW IN THIS VERSION
Added URLs for the Oxford and Utrecht WWW versions of this list. Changed the URL for the alt.tv.red-dwarf WWW page to reflect the switch from cathouse to ftech. Updated America Online and CompuServe information. The hard-to-describe green vegetable in bhindi bhaji has been identified as okra. Totally rewrote "Will there be a Series Seven?". Corrected the number of a Space Corps Peace Conference Directive. Added the ftp://ftp.shu.ac.uk/pub/red-dwarf/ ftp site. Added the true origin of the Series Six Kryten suit. Deleted the Ted Danson/Eddie Murphy movie rumor. Added note about Lorraine Toussaint on LAW AND ORDER. Added name and fate of Christopher Pile, virus programmer. Updated URL for Michael Nagy's WWW page and added his ftp site.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
What is RED DWARF? Where can I see RED DWARF in the United States? Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF? Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise? Is there an episode guide for RED DWARF? Did RED DWARF start on radio? Is there an American version of RED DWARF? Who is Grant Naylor? Where can I write to the cast and crew of the show? What does "smeg" mean? What are the lyrics to the theme song? What does "LEVEL NIVELO" mean? What are some of the foods mentioned on the show? Why is Holly now a woman? How did Kryten change? What happened to the Red Dwarf and Holly? What's the "lost" ending to "Out of Time"? Will there be a Series Seven? Was Craig Charles arrested for rape? What's the title of the last episode of Series Two? What are the lyrics to "Tongue Tied"? What are they really saying in "Backwards?" Who is Gordon Bennett? How many times has Rimmer had sex? How many people were in Red Dwarf's crew? How can Rimmer leave the ship? How did the Polymorph touch Rimmer? How many times has Starbug crashed? Didn't Lister have his appendix out twice? What's in canister 1121? Are there books about RED DWARF? Are there RED DWARF fan clubs? Where can I find online information about RED DWARF? Should I post RED DWARF graphic images or sounds? Are there RED DWARF magazines? Is there a RED DWARF computer game? Has RED DWARF won any awards? What are the Space Corps Directives?
CREDITS
This FAQ List was originally created by Michael J. Montoure and Renee Ann Byrd. New information for this version was contributed by the following people:
Michael Burke Francis Greenaway John E. Harrington Joseph Kerezman Bette Llewellyn John Lobaugh Alan Moon Michael Nagy Tim Nobes Rebecca Ulph Dave Williamson Holly5120@aol.com James-X Raz RyanIA@aol.com
HOW TO FIND THE LATEST VERSION OF THIS LIST
The current version of this list is posted every 14 days to alt.tv.red-dwarf, alt.answers, and news.answers. You can access it at any time by the following methods:(Look under R for RED DWARF.)
You can also request the FAQ List by email from the FAQ archives at MIT. Send a message to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the following as the body of the message:
send /pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/red_dwarf-faq
If you can't get a copy by any of the methods described above, email me (pat@berry.Cary.NC.US) and I'll send you a copy.
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
This document is Compilation Copyright 1993-1996 by Patrick M. Berry. It may be freely redistributed in its entirety provided that this copyright notice is not removed. It may not be sold for profit or incorporated in commercial documents without the written permission of the copyright holder.
Subject: What is RED DWARF?
"This is an S.O.S. distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf. The
crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak. The only survivors are
Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and
his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived three
million years later, Lister's only companions are a life-form who
evolved from his cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one
of the dead crew." --- Holly, the ship's computer
The regular cast of the series is:
The first two novels have also been published in one volume:
Subject: Where can I see RED DWARF in the United States?
If you don't know when (or if) your local PBS station shows RED DWARF,
check your local listings or call the station and ask. Please don't
post the question to alt.tv.red-dwarf; that will send it all over
the planet, annoying people who don't know or care about your local
station's programming. Besides, the other methods are faster.
Subject: Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF?
In Australia, all episodes are available from ABC stores (along with
books, T-shirts, and other RD merchandise).
In the Netherlands, you can get them from W.H. Smith stores.
In Sweden, Series 1-5 and the Smeg-Ups tape are available from:
The alt.comedy.british FAQ List includes an excellent list of
mail-order dealers who will ship British comedy videotapes to overseas
customers. Refer to:
http://cathouse.org/BritishComedy/Info/a.c.b_FAQ/
ftp://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/british-comedy/general-faq/part4
"Red Dwarf Smeg-Ups," a collection of outtakes from the series, was
released on video in the fall of 1994. At this writing, it is
apparently available only in the U.K. and Australia.
Subject: Where can I get other RED DWARF merchandise?
Other sources of RED DWARF memorabilia are listed in the book THE
MAKING OF RED DWARF (see "Are there books about RED DWARF?").
Subject: Is there an episode guide for RED DWARF?
ftp://toaster.ee.ubc.ca/pub/red-dwarf/red-dwarf-guide
To get you started, here's a quick list created by Dale Clayton
Subject: Did RED DWARF start on radio?
The script for one of the "Dave Hollins, Space Cadet" sketches is
included in the RED DWARF OMNIBUS (see "What is RED DWARF?").
Subject: Is there an American version of RED DWARF?
The first pilot was written by Linwood Boomer and filmed on 22 January
1992 at Universal City Studios in Los Angeles. The cast included the
following actors:
After rejecting this version, NBC commissioned a second pilot with the
following cast:
[Does anyone know who wrote the second pilot, or when and where it was
filmed? -- PMB]
Neither pilot has ever been aired or released on videocassette, but
bootleg copies of the first pilot can be found at science fiction
conventions. (The second pilot does not seem to have fallen into the
hands of bootleggers.)
A redesigned Kryten suit (of somewhat better quality than the old BBC
version) was made for the U.S. pilots by Joseph Kerezman and Mike
Moore of JK Costuming. When the pilots were rejected, the BBC created
a new Kryten suit (based on the U.S. one) for Series Six.
Subject: Who is Grant Naylor?
"Grant Naylor is a gestalt entity occupying two bodies, one of which
lives in north London, the other in south London. The product of a
horribly botched genetic-engineering experiment, which took place in
Manchester in the late fifties, they try to eke out two existences
with only one mind. They attended the same school and the same
university, but, for tax reasons, have completely different wives.
The first body is called Rob Grant, the second Doug Naylor. Among
other things, they spent three years in the mid-eighties as head
writers of SPITTING IMAGE; wrote Radio Four's award-winning series
SON OF CLICHE; penned the lyrics to a number one single; and created
and wrote RED DWARF for BBC television.
They have made a living variously by being ice-cream salesmen,
shoe-shop assistants and by attempting to sell dodgy life-assurance
policies to close friends. They also spent almost two years on the
night shift loading paper into computer printers at a mail-order
factory in Ardwick. They can still taste the cheese 'n' onion
toasties.
Their favourite colour is orange."
Grant Naylor's number one single was "The Chicken Song," a SPITTING
IMAGE spinoff. Philip Pope composed the music and produced the
record, which was released in 1986 by Virgin Records.
Subject: Where can I write to the cast and crew of the show?
Subject: What does "smeg" mean?
Subject: What are the lyrics to the theme song?
The theme song was composed by Howard Goodall and sung by Jenna
Russell.
Subject: What does "LEVEL NIVELO" mean?
Esperanto is a real language, developed in the the 1880s by Polish
ophthalmologist L.L. Zamenhof. The episode "Kryten" establishes that
Lister, Holly, and Kryten all speak at least some Esperanto. Rimmer
is shown trying -- and failing -- to learn Esperanto from a videotape.
The name "Esperanto" means "one who hopes," a fact that is alluded to
in "Back to Reality."
Subject: What are some of the foods mentioned on the show?
"Madras sauce" is another standard curry sauce, less hot than
vindaloo.
"Poppadoms," another Indian food item, are thin lentil-flour wafers
resembling tortillas, deep-fried until crisp.
A "shami kebab" is an appetizer served in Indian restaurants. It
consists of finely ground meat and lots of spices, grilled over a
flame. The meat is a mixture of pork and either goat (in more
authentic restaurants) or beef (in less authentic ones). You
typically get two shami kebabs with a salad side dish. Shami kebabs
are sometimes prepared and served in an egg coating, similar to an
omelette.
"Chutney" is a fruit piccalilli (pickled relish), often eaten with
cold meat.
"Gazpacho soup" is a Spanish tomato-and-cucumber cold soup which often
includes garlic, olive oil, and bread. It's common in Spain and in
upscale American restaurants.
A "pot noodle" is an instant noodle product marketed in the U.K. by
Golden Wonder, a snack food company. It's a plastic container with
pre-cooked dried noodles and flavorings inside. To prepare it, you
open the container, pour in boiling water, wait a few moments, and eat
it.
A "kipper" is a herring, cured by splitting, salting, and smoking.
Kippers are eaten as a breakfast food in some parts of the U.K.
A "Topic Bar" is a candy bar sold in the U.K., consisting of fondant
and hazelnuts covered with chocolate. (This is what Lister means in
"Marooned" when he says "Don't mention Topics, they're food.") One ad
campaign for the Topic Bar used the slogan "A hazelnut in every bite."
Thus, in "Stasis Leak", Rimmer complains, "Everything always goes
wrong for me. I'm probably the only person in the world to buy a
Topic Bar without a single hazelnut in it."
"Taramasalata" is a Greek appetizer consisting of a light paste of fish
roe, olive oil, lemon juice, and moistened bread crumbs or mashed
potatoes.
"Bhindi bhaji" is a vegetable dish made with okra.
"Tarka dhall" is a mild curry dish based on lentils.
Subject: Why is Holly now a woman? How did Kryten change?
Kryten's original actor, David Ross, wasn't available to commit to a
series when Grant Naylor decided to make Kryten a continuing
character, so he was replaced by Robert Llewellyn. (Ross later
returned in "White Hole" as the new voice of Talkie Toaster.) There
were also several changes in the show's look between Series Two and
Three, including changes in costumes, sets, and miniatures,
particularly the addition of the Starbug and its hangar bay.
Most of these changes are more or less explained by the following
words that scroll rapidly up the screen at the beginning of
"Backwards":
"Three million years in the future, Dave Lister, the last human being
alive, discovers he is pregnant after a liaison with his female self
in a parallel universe. His pregnancy concludes with the successful
delivery of twin boys, Jim and Bexley. However, because the boys were
conceived in another universe, with different physical laws, they
suffer from highly accelerated growth rates and are both eighteen
years old within three days of being born. In order to save their
lives, Lister returns them to the universe of their origin, where they
are reunited with their father (a woman), and are able to lead
comparatively normal lives. Well, as normal as you can be if you've
been born in a parallel universe and your father's a woman and your
mother's a man and you're eighteen years old three days after your
birth. Shortly afterward, Kryten, the service mechanoid, who had left
the ship after being rescued from his own crashed vessel, the Nova 5,
is found in pieces after his space bike crashed into an asteroid.
Lister rebuilds the 'noid, but is unable to recapture his former
personality. Meanwhile, Holly, the increasingly erratic computer,
performs a head sex change operation on himself. He bases his new
face on Hilly, a female computer with whom he'd once fallen madly in
love."
It *is* possible to read all this, using a VCR with good freeze-frame
capabilities. Try it.
Subject: What happened to the Red Dwarf and Holly?
Briefly, what happened is this: Lister parked the Red Dwarf in orbit
around a planetoid, and then forgot which planetoid it was. "They're
all the same, those little blue-green planetoids. Blue-green and
planetoidy." Subsequently, Red Dwarf was stolen "by persons or
lifeforms unknown." Starbug followed the ship's vapor trail for over
200 years, with Lister and the Cat in deep sleep and Rimmer switched
off to conserve power. At the first opportunity to actually catch up
with Red Dwarf, Kryten revived the others, and the saga continued . . .
The real reason for the change was to eliminate Holly from the show.
According to Hattie Hayridge, the parts for Holly and the Cat had both
been getting smaller and smaller. Grant Naylor decided to drop one of
the characters and expand the other. It was easier to drop Holly
because many of her lines could be given to Kryten instead.
At a convention in January 1996, Doug Naylor anounced that *both*
Lovett and Hayridge will be signed for Series Seven.
Subject: What's the "lost" ending to "Out of Time"?
"Rimmer blows up the time drive. Seconds later, a laser cannon blast
blows up one of the Starbugs, while a second one is seen flying in the
upper right-hand corner of the screen.
In the next scene, Kryten is carrying a pitcher of yellow liquid into
Starbug's hold while Rimmer, Lister and Cat are seated around the
table with wine glasses in front of them. Kryten explains that they
were never killed because Rimmer's actions in blowing up the time
drive caused their future selves to cease to exist and notes that
Rimmer had in fact saved the day. Rimmer grins broadly and tells
Kryten that it was nothing and not to mention it while Lister claps
him on the shoulder. Kryten then pours the 'homemade magaritas' into
all four glasses and passes on better news: they are now a mere six
hours behind Red Dwarf and that there is no doubt in his mind that
they'll be able to catch up.
Kryten proposes a toast 'to the present' and all four click glasses
and take a drink. Lister, wearing a foam mustache, makes a horrible
face and exclaims that they aren't drinking magaritas, they're
drinking 'urine recyc' and glares at Kryten. Rimmer and Cat, with
their matching foam mustaches, also making nasty faces, give Kryten a
dirty look. Kryten, with his foaming mustache, slouches with
embarrassment in his chair."
Subject: Will there be a Series Seven?
However, Chris Barrie will not be in all of the new episodes.
Throughout 1995, articles in various U.K. newspapers reported that
Barrie was "in dispute with the show" or that he was quitting.
In February 1996, the DAILY EXPRESS reported that Barrie would
appear in just two episodes of the new BBC2 series. However,
Llewellyn stated in March that "he is in at least 4 episodes,
possibly more."
Series Seven will bring some other changes, according to Llewellyn:
"I am writing one episode, it's called 'Beyond a Joke' at the moment,
but more than that I am not at liberty to divulge. The rest of the
cast remains the same, although there will be one new character, ha
ha. And guess what. I am under strict instructions not to say
anything about him/her. . . . I have a new mask and a new costume.
Same basic design, hopefully more comfortable."
Subject: Was Craig Charles arrested for rape?
On 8 July 1994, Esther Harman (a former stripper and Charles's
ex-girlfriend) filed a charge of rape against him. Charles was
arrested, imprisoned, and denied bail. On 25 October, after being
attacked (but not wounded) by a fellow inmate wielding a homemade
knife, Charles was released on bail.
The trial began on 20 February 1995 and lasted for two weeks. No
forensic evidence was shown to exist proving that a rape had occurred.
In his instructions to the jury, the judge stated that a woman's claim
to have been raped doesn't prove that she actually was. The jury took
less than ninety minutes to find Charles not guilty. Afterwards,
Charles made an emotional appeal to the press for the anonymity of
those accused of rape.
Subject: What's the title of the last episode of Series Two?
Subject: What are the lyrics to "Tongue Tied"?
Subject: What are they really saying in "Backwards"?
When Lister and the Cat steal a bicycle, its owner yells after them,
"You scoundrels! Return my bike immediately!" -- at least, according
to the subtitles. What he actually says, however, is, "Oi! Hey! Oi,
you robbing bastards, that's our tandem!"
Later, when the stage manager comes in to yell at Rimmer and Kryten,
he appears to be blaming them for starting the "fight." Here's what
he's actually saying:
"Frankly, your act's crap. Anyway, anybody could have done it. I
hate the lot of you. Bollocks to you! . . . You are a stupid,
square-headed, bald git, aren't you? I ain't pointing at you, I'm
pointing at you. But I'm not actually addressing you, I'm addressing
the one prat in the country who's bothered to get hold of this
recording, turn it round, and actually work out the rubbish that I'm
saying. What a poor, sad life he's got!"
Subject: Who is Gordon Bennett?
Subject: How many times has Rimmer has sex?
Subject: How many people were in Red Dwarf's crew?
RED DWARF is full of minor inconsistencies like this one. When Grant
Naylor come up with a good idea (such as the "light bee" -- see "How
can Rimmer leave the ship?"), they don't worry overmuch about whether
it contradicts something in a previous episode. In this case, they
evidently decided that a larger crew was more appropriate for a ship
five miles long and three miles in diameter.
One possible explanation is that the Justice Computer got its
information from Rimmer's mind, and Rimmer has an inflated notion of
his own importance. In addition to overstating his own responsibility
for the deaths of the crew, he may have exaggerated the number of
people involved.
Subject: How can Rimmer leave the ship?
This limitation proved to be inconvenient, so Grant Naylor came up
with another explanation, the "light bee". This device is a tapered
cylinder about one inch in diameter and three inches long that "buzzes
around inside him and projects his image" (as described by Holly in
"Meltdown"). The light bee can go anywhere, allowing Rimmer to leave
the ship without needing a projection cage.
Some fans have speculated that the light bee was invented sometime
during Series 2 (by Holly) or Series 3 (by either Holly or Kryten).
However, this doesn't explain how Rimmer was able to leave the Blue
Midget and enter the wreck of the Nova 5 in "Kryten", two episodes
*before* he was shown in a projection cage.
Subject: How did the Polymorph touch Rimmer?
Some fans have asked how the Polymorph could possibly attach its
sucker to Rimmer (who is, after all, a hologram). Two possible
explanations have been suggested: either the sucker actually made
contact with Rimmer's light bee (see "How can Rimmer leave the
ship?"), or the Polymorph can change into a hologram. Holograms can
touch each other, as demonstrated in "Parallel Universe."
Subject: How many times has Starbug crashed?
Subject: Didn't Lister have his appendix out twice?
Some fans have theorized that Lister's appendix was regenerated in
"DNA", along with the rest of his body. In reality, this was a
continuity error. The error is briefly referred to and (sort of)
cleared up in the latest novel RED DWARF: THE LAST HUMAN (see "What is
RED DWARF?"). It is also mentioned in the questions section on the
"Smeg-Ups" video (see "Where can I get videotapes of RED DWARF?").
Subject: What's in canister 1121?
The original script for "The End" included a scene (cut from the final
version) in which Lister placed the powdered remains of each
crewmember in a separate canister and ejected them all into space (and
this is done with George McIntyre's remains in the aired version).
It's reasonable to conclude that Lister did this, although nothing is
said about it in either the episode or the novel. The number of
canisters floating in space ("something in the region of ten
thousand") is consistent with the size of the crew given in INFINITY
WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS (eleven thousand, one hundred and
sixty-nine).
Subject: Are there books about RED DWARF?
Note: This book contains an incorrect address for the Official RED
DWARF Fan Club (U.K.). For the correct address, see "Are there RED
DWARF fan clubs?".
Subject: Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?
THE OFFICIAL RED DWARF FAN CLUB (U.K.)
This club is based in England, but has addresses in several other
countries. Membership includes three issues of their magazine BETTER
THAN LIFE, a badge, and a membership card. Membership rates (per year)
are as follows:
THE OFFICIAL RED DWARF FAN CLUB (U.S.)
The U.S. fan club appears to be defunct. Mail sent to the U.S.
address is being returned, and fans who joined at conventions have not
received the newsletter or the other materials that should have been
mailed to them.
Mike Gardiner
The cost of one year's membership in NZ dollars is:
- New Zealand $15
- Australia $20
- Rest of world $25
For a registration form, send an SAE or IRC.
Subject: Where can I find online information about RED DWARF?
FTP SITES: Files related to RED DWARF can be found at the following
sites:
INTERNET RELAY CHAT: Regular IRC parties are held on Sunday nights at
20:30, Greenwich Mean Time. Many people from the newsgroup drop in
both on this night and many other times during the week, on the
EFNet #starbug channel.
NEWSGROUP: There is a Usenet newsgroup devoted to news and discussion
about RED DWARF:
news:alt.tv.red-dwarf
MAILING LIST: If you have email capability, you can subscribe to a RED
DWARF mailing list.
Type the following text as the body of the message:
subscribe reddwarf Your Name
Do *not* send to the old uel.ac.uk address. You won't be subscribed,
and your message will only make life difficult for the staff at the
University of East London.
ONLINE SERVICES
CompuServe: RED DWARF discussions can be found in the second
Sci-Fi/Fantasy Media forum. GO SFMEDTWO and select Message section
15: Red Dwarf.
America Online: AOL has a Red Dwarf area that can be reached by using
keyword: Dr Who, then choosing British Science Fiction, and then
choosing Red Dwarf.
AOL also has a RED DWARF mailing list. Digests are sent out once a
day containing posts from various members. The facilitator says:
"I've been known to send out chatlogs from AOL chats, RD sounds, and
imitation Flibble erasers to those interested." To subscribe, email
Holly5120@aol.com -- put "RD List" in the subject line and "Flobber
dob blib blob bleeb, please" as the message (or just ask to be signed
up). The end result of such an action should be the receipt of a
welcoming message.
Finally, Holly5120 holds a RED DWARF chat session on alternate Fridays
at 10:00 EST in the Tardis Console Room (keyword DrWho).
GEnie: RED DWARF discussions can be found in the British TV topic of
the SHOWBIZ RT.
Prodigy: The SCIENCE FICTION BB has an active topic called "Red Dwarf".
Subject: Should I post RED DWARF graphic images and sounds?
There are good reasons for this request. First of all, uuencoded
binaries take up a lot of space. Many sites simply do not have disk
space for them. If you start posting binaries, those sites will be
forced to drop the newsgroup, depriving everyone at that site of news
and information about RED DWARF.
Also, many people have to pay for their net access by the second.
Huge binaries cost those people a lot of money. Those people may be
forced to stop receiving newsgroups and mailing lists to which binaries
are posted. Thus we are deprived of their wit and wisdom.
Summary: If you post binaries, everybody suffers.
Subject: Are there RED DWARF magazines?
Several RED DWARF newsletters or fanzines are published by RED DWARF
fan clubs (see "Are there RED DWARF fan clubs?"). In addition, two
independent fanzines are known to exist:
Elsewhere: $15 U.S. per issue
STASIS LEAK is written by Joe Nazarro, who also wrote THE MAKING OF
RED DWARF (see "Are there RED DWARF books?") and formerly wrote for
the SMEGAZINE. Three issues have been published so far:
#1 Interviews with Grant Naylor, Chris Barrie, Hattie Hayridge,
Andria Pannell (makeup designer). RED DWARF fiction, article on
U.S. pilot, Series 5 preview and production notes, trivia quiz,
an "old vs. new" debate, and an episode guide for seasons 1 and 2.
Black and white photos inside throughout and back cover. Color
photo cover of Rimmer from "Holoship." 50 pages.
#2 Interviews with Craig Charles and Danny John-Jules, plus Craig's
press conference from Visions '92. More RED DWARF fiction, book
reviews, a preview and production notes for Series 6, reader
survey results, and episode guide for Series 3 and 4. Black and
white photos inside, color photo cover of Duane Dibbley. 54
pages.
#3 In diary form, this issue chronicles Nazzaro's experiences on the
set of the series and provides a glimpse into the editing of THE
MAKING OF RED DWARF. It contains all of the material that didn't
make it into that book, including behind-the-scenes photos and
script outtakes. [Does anyone have a page count? -- PMB]
Primarily fiction. The November 1994 issue contains the following
stories:
Subject: Is there a RED DWARF computer game?
axel@origin.ea.com reports the following: "In 1991 I was working for
Imagitec Design, a computer games company based in Dewsbury, West
Yorkshire, England. We had a full game design/plot written up and
partially storyboarded, ready to be submitted for approval from Grant
& Naylor. They were very excited about the prospect of a game since
the 'Better Than Life' theme would link nicely to the series. We
approached Gremlin Graphics, in Sheffield, to handle the licensing.
The deal came to a standstill when Noel Gay TV wanted way too much
money for the license and so the game never saw the light of day."
There are two DOS computer viruses ("Pathogen" and "Queeg") written by
| Christopher Pile, evidently a RED DWARF fan. When activated, the
"Pathogen" virus displays the following message:
Your hard-disk is being corrupted, courtesy of PATHOGEN!
Programmed in the U.K. (Yes, NOT Bulgaria!) [C] The Black Baron 1993-4.
Featuring SMEG v0.1: Simulated Metamorphic Encryption Generator!
'Smoke me a kipper, I`ll be back for breakfast.....'
Unfortunately some of your data won't!!!!!
These viruses were first detected in February of 1994. Reuters
reported on 22 July 1994 that Pile had been arrested and charged with
creating the viruses. On 16 November 1995, the U.K. newspaper THE
DAILY MAIL reported that Pile had been sentenced to 18 months in
prison for the damage done by the viruses (estimated to be at least
500,000 pounds worth in the U.K. alone.
Subject: Has RED DWARF won any awards?
At the 1994 British Comedy Awards, RED DWARF won Best BBC Situation
Comedy.
At Eastercon 1989 and 1992, RED DWARF received the Best Dramatic
Presentation award. At the Cult TV 1994 convention, awards were
presented to Grant Naylor (Best Writers) and RED DWARF (Best Show).
Subject: What are the Space Corps Directives?
Article 5 Gross negligence leading to the endangerment of
personnel. ("Queeg")
Article 169 [Exact text not given, but similar to 195.]
("Quarantine")
Article 195 In an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic
crewmember must lay down his life in order that the
living crewmembers might survive. ("White Hole")
Article 312 [Quarantine berths must] provide minimum leisure
facilities. ("Quarantine")
Article 497 You have to work to earn credits for food. ("Queeg")
Article 597 One [quarantine] berth per crew member.
("Quarantine")
Article 699 [A crew member may] demand a re-screening after five
days in quarantine. ("Quarantine")
Article 1742 No member in the Corps should ever report for active
duty in a ginger toupee. ("Psirens")
Article 1743 No registered vessel should attempt to traverse an
asteroid belt without deflectors. ("Psirens")
Article 5796 No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is
permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples.
("Psirens")
Article 5797 [Exact text not given, but has to do with Lister
being unable to enter the ship for the safety of the
crew.] ("Psirens")
Article 34124 No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex
in zero gravity. ("Legion")
Article 68250 [Exact text not given, but involves at least one
live chicken and a rabbi.] ("Emohawk: Polymorph II")
Article 196156 Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the
exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be
discharged without trial. ("Rimmerworld")
(No # given) It is our primary overriding duty to contact other
life forms, exchange information, and, whenever
possible, bring them home. ("Polymorph")
Two All Nations agreements are also mentioned, both in "Gunmen of the
Apocalypse":
| 39436175880932/C The right of POW's to non-violent constraint.
39436175880932/B All nations attending the conference are only
allowed one car-parking space.
Finally, Rimmer cites the following two "Rimmer Directives":
Article 271 No chance, you metal bastard! ("White Hole")
(No # given) Never tangle with anything that's got more teeth
than the entire Osmond family. ("Polymorph")
Go to the Hollywood GeoCities
Dave Lister...............................Craig Charles
Arnold Rimmer..............................Chris Barrie
Holly.....................................Norman Lovett (series 1-2)
Hattie Hayridge (series 3-5)
The Cat................................Danny John-Jules
Kryten.................................Robert Llewellyn
RED DWARF is also a series of novels based on the TV show. The novels
greatly expand on, and are greatly different from, the show. Many of
the same ideas appear in the novels, but these ideas are put together
in new and interesting ways. Three novels have been published so far:
RED DWARF: INFINITY WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS
by Grant Naylor
ISBN 0-14-012437-3
Penguin, 1989
RED DWARF: BETTER THAN LIFE
by Grant Naylor
ISBN 0-14-012438-1
Penguin, 1990
RED DWARF: THE LAST HUMAN
by Doug Naylor
ISBN 0-67-085255-4
Viking, 1995
To everyone's surprise, THE LAST HUMAN was written by Doug Naylor
only. The paperback edition will be published in October 1995. Rob
Grant has expressed interest in writing a book based on RED DWARF, but
it's not known whether he will do so.
RED DWARF OMNIBUS
by Grant Naylor
ISBN 0-14-017466-4
Penguin, 1991
This combined rerelease also contains the script for "Dave Hollins,
Space Cadet" (one of the SON OF CLICHE sketches that started it all --
see "Did RED DWARF start on radio?"), a reproduction of the beer mat
on which the idea for Red Dwarf was allegedly first written, and the
original script for "The End" (the first episode of the series).
SF-Bokhandeln
Stora Nygatan 45
111 27 Stockholm.
Telephone: 08/21 50 52.
Fax: 08/24 77 30.
E-mail: order@sfbok.se
WWW: http://www.sfbok.se/sfbok/sfbok.html
[Let me know about availability in other countries and I'll add the
information here. -- PMB]
JOHN MCELROY
2401 Fox Plaza
1390 Market Street
San Francisco, CA 94102 USA
T-shirts, greeting cards, and other items can be ordered by mail from:
Distribution Network
12 Deerpark Road
London
SW19 3TU
UK
Telephone: 0181-543-1231
Most of the RED DWARF-related books can be ordered from:
Star Tech
Box 456
Dunlap, TN 37327
USA
Merchandise is also available from some of the fan clubs (see "Are
there RED DWARF fan clubs?"). The Official RED DWARF Fan Club (U.K.)
has its own line of merchandise. The New Zealand-based fan club Zed
Shift operates a mail-order service for members living in New Zealand.
Series 1 - 1988 Series 2 - 1988
1 The End....................15 Feb 7 Kryten.................... 6 Sep
2 Future Echoes..............22 Feb 8 Better Than Life..........13 Sep
3 Balance of Power...........29 Feb 9 Thanks for the Memory.....20 Sep
4 Waiting For God............ 7 Mar 10 Stasis Leak...............27 Sep
5 Confidence & Paranoia......14 Mar 11 Queeg..................... 4 Oct
6 Me^^2......................21 Mar 12 Parallel Universe.........11 Oct
Series 3 - 1989 Series 4 - 1991
13 Backwards.................14 Nov 19 Camille...................14 Feb
14 Marooned..................21 Nov 20 D.N.A.....................21 Feb
15 Polymorph.................28 Nov 21 Justice...................28 Feb
16 Bodyswap.................. 5 Dec 22 White Hole.................7 Mar
17 Timeslides................12 Dec 23 Dimension Jump............14 Mar
18 The Last Day..............19 Dec 24 Meltdown..................21 Feb
Series 5 - 1992 Series 6 - 1993
25 Holoship..................20 Feb 31 Psirens................... 7 Oct
26 The Inquisitor............27 Feb 32 Legion....................14 Oct
27 Terrorform................ 5 Mar 33 Gunmen of the Apocalypse..21 Oct
28 Quarantine................12 Mar 34 Emohawk: Polymorph II.....28 Oct
29 Demons and Angels.........19 Mar 35 Rimmerworld............... 4 Nov
30 Back To Reality...........26 Mar 36 Out of Time...............11 Nov
Dave Lister.................................Craig Bierko
Arnold Rimmer.............................Chris Eigelman
Holly........................................Jane Leeves
Kryten..................................Robert Llewellyn
The Cat....................................Hinton Battle
Christine Kochanski...................Elizabeth Morehead
First Officer Munson...................Michael Heintzman
Captain Tau...........................Lorraine Toussaint
Grant Naylor served as technical consultants. Robert Llewellyn (from
the BBC cast) reprised his role as Kryten. (Some fans may also
recognize Jane Leeves from the American comedies MURPHY BROWN and
FRAZIER. LAW AND ORDER fans may remember Lorraine Toussaint as public
defender Shambala Greene.) The plot was a retelling of "The End",
with some elements of "Future Echoes" thrown in for good measure. Some
surprising and odd changes were made: for example, Lister was
transformed into a clean-cut and well-dressed Caucasian, and the H on
Rimmer's forehead was replaced with a silver marble.
Lister......................................Craig Bierko
Rimmer....................................Anthony Fuscle
Holly........................................Jane Leeves
Kryten..................................Robert Llewellyn
Cat........................................Terry Farrell
The second pilot was not a complete episode, but rather a promo that
combined scenes from the first pilot and newly filmed segments
spotlighting the new cast members. This pilot fixed some problems
(such as restoring Rimmer's H), but had more odd changes, such as
casting a woman as the Cat. (Terry Farrell went on to play Jadzia Dax
on STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE.) The second pilot was also rejected,
and the proposed series was shelved indefinitely.
It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere
I'm all alone, more or less
Let me fly far away from here
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose
Drinking fresh mango juice
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
There has been much debate over the "goldfish" line -- it is not sung
very clearly, and some fans think it is simply "Goldfish *are*
nibbling." However, in the "Smeg-Ups" tape (see "Where can I get
videotapes of RED DWARF?"), Robert Llewellyn recites the theme song
lyrics, and they are as listed above. (A "shoal" is a school of
fish.)
The Cat: Chorus -- Lister and Rimmer:
When I saw you for the first time (first time)
My knees began to quiver (quiver)
And I got a funny feeling (feeling)
In my kidneys and my liver (digestive system baby)
My hands they started shakin' (shakin')
My heart began a-thumpin' (boom boom boom)
My breakfast left my body (huey huey huey)
It all really tells me something
Girl you make me tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue tied, whenever you are near me (near me)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Tied tongue (tied tongue)
Whenever you're in town
I saw you 'cross the dance floor (dancin')
I thought of birds and bees (reproductive system baby)
And when I tried to speak to ya (talk talk)
My tongue unraveled to my knees (flippety-flippety-flop)
I tried to say I love you (love you)
But it came out kind of wrong, girl (wrong girl)
It sounded like "Nunubididoo" (tongue tied)
Nuh mur nuh murh ni nong nurl
'Cause you make me tongue tied (tongue tied)
Tongue tied, whenever you are near me (near me)
Be-dobby-durgle (dobby-durgle)
Tongue tied (tongue tied)
Whenever you're around
Oh I'm beggin' on my knees
Sweet, sweet darling, listen please
Understand me when I say
Bedurble-diggle-doggle-dooby-doggle-durgle-day
I'm trying to say nungy-nangy (nangy-nungy)
Ningy-nongy, why can't I tell you clearly (clearly)
Be-dobby-durgle (dobby-durgle)
Durgle-dobby (durgle-dobby)
Whenever you're around (around)
Whenever you're around (around)
In the fall of 1993, "Tongue Tied" was released as a single in England
and rose to #17 in the Gallup UK Top 40. The artist was listed simply
as "The Cat." A music video of "Tongue Tied" was reportedly shown on
the TOP OF THE POPS show in England and on MTV in the States. Copies
of the video (and a half-hour program on the making of the video) are
available from John McElroy (see "Where can I get other RED DWARF
merchandise?").
"Backwards" "Terrorform"
"Marooned" "Psirens"
"Bodyswap" "Gunmen of the Apocalypse"
"Dimension Jump" "Emohawk: Polymorph II"
The crashed Starbug was abandoned on more than one occasion,
indicating either that more than two of them exist, or that facilities
exist on board Red Dwarf to manufacture replacement Starbugs.
THE OFFICIAL RED DWARF COMPANION
by Bruce Dessau
ISBN 1-85286-456-7
Titan, 1992
This thin little book (95 pages) has a lot of wasted space, but some
interesting quotes and information and some wonderful color photos
throughout. If you're looking for in-depth, solid information about
the show, this isn't where you'll find it; but if you want a nice,
light read, a collector's item, and an attractive coffee-table book,
this is it. Available in England and at conventions in the U.S.
RED DWARF PROGRAMME GUIDE
by Chris Howarth and Steve Lyons
ISBN 0-86-369682-1
Virgin, 1995
"Everything you never wanted to know about the smash smega-series."
An in-depth collection (about 230 pages) of information about series
1-5. It includes sections on History, The Characters, The Programmes,
The Index, The Creators (cast and production crew), and The Spin-offs.
The Index is by far the largest section of the book and is an
alphabetical list of almost everything mentioned to during the series,
from "A to Z of Red Dwarf, The" to "Zoom function".
RED DWARF -- PRIMORDIAL SOUP: THE LEAST WORST SCRIPTS
by Grant Naylor
ISBN 0-14-017886-4
Penguin, 1993
This book contains the complete scripts for "Polymorph," "Marooned,"
"Dimension Jump," "Justice," "Back to Reality," and "Psirens." Not
published in the U.S., but available from John McElroy (see "Where can
I get other RED DWARF merchandise?") and other distributors of
imported books.
THE MAN IN THE RUBBER MASK
by Robert Llewellyn
ISBN 0-14-023575-2
Penguin, 1994
A very nice little book, detailing Llewellyn's involvement in RED
DWARF from the beginning of Series 3 through the filming of the
American pilots (see "Is there an American RED DWARF?"). Predictably,
there is some complaining about the Rubber Mask, but only a little.
There are plenty of anecdotes and stories, and lots of trivia. The
section on the American pilots is especially revealing, and gives some
plausible reasons why the whole project fell through. Not an
essential purchase for RED DWARF fans, but a very good one indeed.
THE MAKING OF RED DWARF
by Joe Nazzaro
ISBN 0-14-023206-0
Penguin, 1994
A rather slender book with lots of nice colour photographs. Focuses
on the making of "Gunmen Of The Apocalypse". The book goes into a
fair amount of detail, but nothing that couldn't have been gleaned
from a half-dozen back issues of the now-defunct SMEGAZINE (see "Are
there RED DWARF magazines?"). The book's main strength is the added
material: some great photos, fragments of the original "Gunmen" script
(mostly stage directions, but also one unfilmed scene) and storyboards
used in the filming. The back of the book contains information on how
you can purchase RED DWARF paraphernalia such as t-shirts, baseball
caps, and models of Starbug and Kryten.
RED DWARF QUIZ BOOK
by Nicky Hooks and Sharon Burnett
ISBN 0-14-023662-7
Penguin, 1994
RED DWARF trivia and mind-bending teasers. Contains questions such as
"What was referred to as a small off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic
warden?", crosswords, word searches, "who said . . .", information about
the cast, and photos. After a while, though, you have to wonder about
the mind of someone who can put together questions such as "What
follows the leaflet campaign?" or "What was in canister 1121?"
UK/BFPO - 8.50 Sterling
Europe - 9.50 Sterling equivalent
Eire - IR#10 (8.50 Sterling)
USA - US$20.00 (??.?? Sterling)
Australia - A$27.00 (13.00 Sterling)
New Zealand - NZ$32.00 (11.00 Sterling)
Cash or cheques in your local currency are accepted, but take weeks
rather than days to clear. If you prefer to send an International
Money Order, the equivalent rates are shown above. Write to:
U.K.: 40 Pitford Road Eire: Caroline Griffin
Woodley 67 Rafters Road
Reading Drimnagh
RG5 4QF Dublin 12
U.S.: Jupiter Mining Company Australia: Tom Marwede
P.O. Box 13097 PO Box 1044
Coyote, CA 95013 Bundoora 3083
Victoria
Note: The address listed in the RED DWARF PROGRAMME GUIDE (see "Are
there books about RED DWARF?") is incorrect.
ZED SHIFT (New Zealand)
PO Box 10104
Wellington
New Zealand
Zed Shift publishes a quarterly magazine (GARBAGE POD), operates a
mail-order service for New Zealand members, and holds the occasional
meeting. Members receive four issues of GARBAGE POD, a guide to RED
DWARF, a membership card, and a hologram H.
BETTER THAN LIFE (Germany)
Sylvia Pranga
Isolde-Kurz-Str. 145 (36)
W-4400 Munster-Nienberge
GERMANY
This club publishes a newsletter (mostly in German) called TALKIE
TOASTER (TM).
The site formerly run by Dave Gagne at the University of British
Columbia is no longer being maintained.
Continent North America Europe Australia
---------- ----------------------- ------------------ ----------------
| Time code PST EST GMT CET WST EST
| Example Los Angeles New York London Paris Perth Sydney
| Time 12:30 15:30 20:30 21:30 05:30 07:30
| From GMT -8hrs -5hrs --- +1hr +9hrs +11hrs
Adam Jewell opens a #RED-DWARF channel on Mon-Thurs from 4:00-8:30
p.m. EST and from 5:00pm EST "till whenever."
STEASIS LEAK
Space Rat Press
P.O. Box 422
Park Ridge, NJ 07656 USA
U.S./Canada/and Mexico: $12 U.S. per issue
THE SMALL ROUGE ONE
Peg Kennedy and Bill Hupe
Footrot Flats
916 Lamb Road
Mason, WI 48854 USA
U.S./Canada/Mexico: $7 U.S.
Elsewhere: inquire
Devoted entirely to original RED DWARF fiction. One issue so far,
containing four stories: "Special Delivery," "Companionship," "Virus,"
and "A RED DWARF Christmas Carol." The last three form a sort of
trilogy. Center artwork and color artwork cover. 5 1/2 x 8 1/2, 56
pages.
TALES FROM THE DWARFSIDE
Time Meddlers of Los Angeles
P.O. Box 4092
North Hollywood, CA 91617-0092
$10.00 postpaid, photocopied
"Homecoming" by Joshua Lou Friedman
"Introspection and Catharsis" by Jill Sherwin
"Fuschal" by Matthew G. Mitchell
"Hairball" by David McGorray
"Judgment Day" by Brenda M. Sulley
"The Quagaar" by Dean Kaufman
"Company of Heroes" by Derek Spencer & Jeff McCree
"Body Language" by Jim Shaun Lyon
Also included are an article called "Recipes from the Talky Toaster"
by Dana Lynn Roberts, interior art by Deanna Bayless, and cover art by
Marlys Walburger.