Captain Power and Pilot - What would Pilot and Power have talked about if they had the chance?
Steigers wrote:From Pilot's side this is easy to speculate on, because she said the words. She wanted to tell Power that she loved him. But what would Power's reaction have been under different circumstances? Certainly, Power loved Pilot, but almost as certainly, not the same way she loved him. Duty would have won out over romantic love in Power's heart of hearts. He probably would have told Pilot that he loved her, but that he loved all life, in totality, more. A romantic entanglement just wouldn't work given their situation. Power would have explained this, and Pilot would have understood. Both would feel closer to one another. No matter what the situation, Power wouldn't feel bad about having Pilot loving him that way. I think that had their conversation taken place, that each of them would have grown a little, and each of them would have fought harder to end the conflict. Hey, once the war is over, absolutely nothing could prevent Power and Pilot from living happily ever after. But the point is moot.
I don't agree necessarily with David Steigers that because Pilot said the words, she would necessarily have expressed them in the same way to Jon given the opportunity. I don't doubt that Pilot did love Jon - I just don't think that if their 'little talk' had taken place, she would have openly expressed her feelings. I think that if Scout had not interrupted , if Pilot had the chance to say her piece, she would have picked something that hinted at her feelings.She would have said something along the lines of what Power had said to her that afternoon in her quarters. Perhaps it would have gone something like that:
"With everything happening so fast around us, I don't think I ever got the opportunity to tell you how needed and appreciated you are." There was a moment of silence as they both let that last sentence hang in the air. Jon looked up and noticed that Pilot seemed preoccupied with her thoughts. Why did things always seem to get a little awkward when they were together? He was about to open his mouth, to ask her something, something to break the uncomfortable silence but she spoke first. " Jon, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time." " I'm listening.." he said softly. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped, as if she was having second thoughts. " Jennifer?" he prompted gently, his dark eyes serious. She looked up at him with her deep blue eyes and smiled slightly. " I just...I just wanted to say that I ... I don't think I ever got the chance to tell you how grateful I am for what you did..." She paused for a moment before continuing. " You saved me...and gave me a chance to be a part of something special...If it hadn't been for you ...you and the others...." [Scout then interrupts at this point]
Somehow, even given the opportunity, Pilot, I feel, would have chickened out because deep down inside, she would have still been a little uncertain and also have been secretly afraid of rejection. Remember that when she actually said the words, she was desperate, at the end of her tether and facing near certain death [ I leave my speculations to another page - See Pilot Lives?] - she knew that another opportunity would never exist and that she had nothing to lose telling Jon how she felt by then.
But for the sake of argument, let's just say that she did say it to Jon. Steigers IMHO doesn't really answer the question of whether Power really did love Pilot - he managest to speculates what Power's answer would have been if Pilot confessed her feelings without actually answering this question.Steigers does however in his comment imply/suggest that Power's answer to this question would have leaned towards 'No'. But not 'No' necessarily because he didn't love her - it would have been 'No' for a variety of reasons - the war being the first one and that it wouldn't work being the second. There's a slight confusion - Steigers says Power would have placed duty first - but then later says Pilot and Power could still live happily ever after if the war ended. Whether Power loves Pilot or not is still unanswered.
I do agree with Steigers in that Power would have been frank with Pilot and explained very gently to her that duty came first and they had to focus on the task at hand. However,I think that Power would have avoided the question of whether or not his feelings were reciprocal in doing so. He would not have encouraged, or discouraged Pilot in any way. However, it would have been interesting to see if Power would react with surprise to Pilot's confession of her feelings for him.
It is in some respects very difficult to predict Power's reaction because the character was not developed consistently on the emotional front. In contrast to Pilot, who we immediately sense is attracted to Power and who developed fairly consistently, Power swings - appearing sometimes to be attracted to Pilot - other times viewing her as simply a member of his extended family - a kind of older brother. But I think that if such a conversation did take place, Power would have begun to consider his own feelings for Pilot. He would remember all the incidents - the little things that would have given away her feelings for him - the kiss in the dessert, their unique relationship, her jealousy of his attention to Athena [See Shattered]. Then he would have thought carefully about how he felt about her.
My preferred reaction would be for Jon to be surprised, but not
totally surprised. Part of him would have almost been expecting
Pilot to tell him she loved him. He would probably then tell
Pilot he didn't know how he felt and then abruptly leave the
room. He would have spent the next couple of days thinking hard
- and avoiding Pilot, thus allowing the delightful possibility
of asides featuring the two of them having long reflective
hours in their quarters - Power contemplating his feelings for
Pilot and Pilot flittering from fear of rejection to despair at
having revealed her feelings.
Steigers is right in that either way, Power and Pilot's
relationship would have undergone a change. However, which way
Power decides I think would be very important in regard to that
relationship - a prospect Steigers doesn't really discuss other
than 'it wouldn't work'. If Power rejected Pilot by eventually
telling her that he didn't feel that way about her [maybe because
he's still pining for Athena - hmph!] - it would make them
working together very difficult. Power would find it difficult
probably to even look her in the eye and Pilot would probably
mope for a while. Not to mention it would have been hell of a
boring to run as a storyline - romantic entanglement opens up
so many more heart-wrenching and wonderfully emotional ideas.
The one positive possibility that might come out of a negative reaction from Power is that Pilot might realise that she isn't actually in love with Jon, just infatuated.This is supposedly very common in the case of females who are cured or saved by a doctor. They find themselves attracted to the doctor, they think they're in love with them. [of course, they could be.] It's the 'He Saved Me' psychological state they work themselves up into. Pilot could be under precisely the same influence. After all, Jon is probably the ONLY man she's ever met who's noble, caring, gentle and pretty handsome. For 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, she's the only female in a band of men, of whom Jon is closest to her in age and her ideals. [Hawk and Tank being too old - more like father figures - Scout, well - go figure.] He's the Captain - he the man who saved her from a meaningless existence in the Dread Youth, a man who opened her eyes to the real world - the first person who probably ever really cared about her. Jon recalls [in New Order] when they first rescued Pilot that she was very angry - did he spent time talking to her, trying to convince her to channel her energy and frustration elsewhere? Would it then be unusual for her to develop the feelings she had for him? Also, remember she's very young - Pilot could be experiencing the schoolgirl crush. [I may be saying it, but I don't necessarily believe it!!]
Alternatively, Pilot and Power could have defied sci-fi odds and
actually became a couple. [Remembering that other sci-fi couples
never did get their acts together - they had chemistry,
attraction, sparks but no explosion - Wilma and Buck in Buck
Rogers, Riker and Deanna Troi in Star Trek: The Next Generation]
I don't somehow agree with Steigers that it wouldn't have worked.
In fact, I think there would have been more potential to develop
Power's character if the Pilot-Power romance angle had come to
fruition. I think Power would have let down his guard and let
someone get close to him. He would have actually had to get in
touch with his feelings - to express himself.He would have gained
a confidant - and one who could really talk to. Matt Masterson
was a good friend and someone Jon could talk to - but in Pilot,
Jon could share everything - every little fear, without feeling
he had compromised his position as leader, or having to keep up
a macho front. And most importantly, Pilot would have given Power
perspective - that although everything was horrible and awful
out there, and that it looked like things had hit rock bottom,
he would know that he always had something he could come home
to: love and that would have given him something over Dread.
While Dread would only have his creations, his victories, Power
would have happiness. Power would strive harder to end the war,
because then it would have meant that Pilot and him could truly
be free to enjoy their relationship. [Probable? Power would
probably have to spend the rest of his life, as all heroes who
end nasty conflicts do, helping to pick up the pieces.]
