"You are the vulgarian, you fuck!"
--Otto, A Fish Called Wanda

"If the clothes make the man, naked people have little or no influence in society."
--Mark Twain

"Took a fart
And he blew the ship apart.
It smelled real bad.
And it made him mad,
And so he had to depart.
--Denise's response to The Chambered Nautilus

"I said, 'Im just the dishwasher here and nobody tells me anything.'"
--Gavin McGregor Rossdale

"Ah'm Dooncan MachLood of the Clahn MachLood!"
--Duncan MacLeod, Highlander

"Ralehted ta Screuge MacDook, Roonald McDoonald an' Holden McGroen!"
--Heidi

"They were slightly to the right of Attila the Hun"
--Ché, Evita

"Do you wanna continue this theological discussion in the car, or at the jailhouse with the cops?"
--Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction

"Can we bonk Jean Valjean with Mr. Longo's stick?"
--Jen S. , Ahe, Heidi

"You're a good example of why some animals eat their young."
--Jim Samuels

"Would you like to be disemboweled in public, Denise?"
--Heidi

"People don't really change. They just peel back layers, and you see what they're really like."
--David Duchovny

"All you have to do is say something nobody understands; they'll do practically anything you want them to do."
--Holden Caufield, Catcher in the Rye

"Has she got that stupid look on her face again? God dammit!"
--Denise during Volleyball season

"It's such a waste, sleeping. You're just lying there."
--Peter Beard

"There was no immunity to cuckoo ideas on Earth."
--Kurt Vonnegut

"I just plum forgot."
--Jen S

"Welfare for the rich! The poor don't vote anyway."
--James Carville (homepage)

"Christmas time is here again, except for you, you fucking Jew!"
--Jon Stewart

"After all the years I've been in Hawaii, I've never minded being a 'haole'. I have, however, minded being a 'fucking haole'."
--Mr. Edwards (yes, the math guy)

"X-File eyes."
--Heidi/Ahe

"I am not young enough to know everything."
--Oscar Wilde

"There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others."
--Randall, Clerks

"But talking behind their backs is so much easier."
--Denise

"Lots of people know a good thing the moment the other guy sees it."
--Job Hedges

"The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them."
--Mark Twain

"I didn't know Asians could have afros."
--Jen S inspired by Leslie's prom picture

"You sad English boy."
--Person interviewing Ralph Fiennes