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| Dazed and Confused | Primal Fear |
| Ski School | A Few Good Men |
| The Cutting Edge | Ferris Bueller |
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The Unofficial Breakfast Club Quotes Page
The Unofficial Reality Bites Quotes Page
Albert: I want a palimony agreement and I want one now.
Albert: I was adorable once. Young and full of hope. And now, look at me, I'm this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged thing!
Armand: I made you short?
Agador: What is that? Why you talk to me like I'm your servant.
Armand: Because you're our faithful houseman. Now go!
Agador: Yah, but my father was the shaman of his tribe, okay? My mother was the high priestess, okay?
Armand: Then why the hell did they move to New Jersey?
Agador: I don't know, they're so stupid. 'Cause they want me to have a career. Hello? A career. When you going to let me audition for you again?
Armand: When you have talent.
Albert: You always ask so much of me. I have to understand every nuance of a song. I have to give a full-out performance but everyone else can just get through it. I mean, he's chewing gum.
Male Dancer: Chewing gum helps me think.
Albert: Sweetie, you're wasting your gum.
Barbara: Look mother, don't you think this room is nice?
Mrs. Keeley: Yes, very very pleasent vacation house. I like it's severity.
Val: Actually, dad uses this place more for work and reflection than anything else. See its not so much a vacation house as it is-
Armand: A monastery.
Val: Yes.
Mrs. Keeley: I think its just charming. And look at these lovely old books! Look at this! "Nancy Drew and the Case of the Burning Candle"! You have the whole series!
Armand: Should we have some champagne to celebrate?
Mrs. Keeley: Oh, how nice.
Armand: Agador!
Val: Spartacus!
Armand: Agador Spartacus! He insists on being called by his full name.
Albert (Mrs. Coldman): Maybe I'm just an old fashioned girl but I pity the woman whos too busy to stay home and take care of the man.
Senator Keeley: Here here. Its so great to meet people like you.
Mrs. Keeley: What interesting china! Why it looks like young men playing leap-frog. Is it Greek?
Armand: This is so Guatamala. They put hard boiled eggs in everything down there because you know chicken is so important to them. Its their only real currency. A woman is said to be worth her weight in hens and a man's wealth is measured by the size of his cock. Will you excuse me?
Armand: He didn't make an entree.
Val: What? You mean we just have soup?
Agador: Peasent soup is an entree! Its like a stew! Why do you think I put so much in it for!
Armand: Shut up! Heres the note for Kathrine, go put it on the downstairs door. I've got to get back before they eat enough to see the bottom of the bowls.
Agador: Theres a million things to do. You no give me no time to shop!
Armand: Shut up! Its okay. We're all right. Its fine. Just shut up goddamn you. Its all right. Stop crying! Goddamn you! What are you standing there for, go! Go! She'll be here any minute! Go! Goddamnit! Fuck the shrimp!
Mr. Thompson: I'm assuming that you're a.... relative?
Vivian: Yes.
Mr.Thompson: Then naturally you're his...
Vivian: Neice?
Mr. Thompson: Of course.
Vivian: You're late.
Edward: You're stunning.
Vivian: You're forgiven.
Vivian: Slippery little suckers.
Edward: You see this young lady over here?
Manager: Yes.
Edward: Do you have anything in this shop as beautiful as she is?
Manager: Oh yes. Oh no! No no, I'm saying we have many things as beautiful as she would want them to be.
Manager: Excuse me sir, exactly how obscene an amount of money were you talking about? Just profane or REALLY offensive.
Edward: REALLY offensive.
Manager: I like him so much.
Dave: Welcome to my kingdom! I will bed you all before the night is through!
Dave: If you want to be the best, you must.. lose... your.. mind.
Dave: Its not how far you go, its how go you far.
Dave: OK, you may be able to disqualify us... but you cannot stop us from doing.... the lambada...
Ed: Thats the forbidden dance.
Kate: What were you raised in, a barn?
Doug: Honey, where I'm from we stand for the national anthem.
Anton: Pairs means two! You, you have no partner. You are skating nowhere. And
you , where are you going? Back to Siberia? Skating on small pond is big fun, eh? And
let me tell you, Gretzky, I am last person coming to look for you.
Kate: When we are through here, can we teach it how to breathe with its mouth closed?
Kate: Oh my god.
Doug: What, my hand?
Kate: Well what do you do, soak them in battery acid?
Doug: Oh, I know they're a little rough, but you know, I've never had any complaints before.
Kate: Oh, I'm terribly impressed. What is this? The final stages of Ukrainian Alcoholic Psychosis?
Doug: I know exactly who I am sweetheart, I'm a guy who came a long way for lunch.
Kate: Well, please don't let me keep you from the trough.
Kate: What do you do, shower once a week?
Doug: Is that an invitation?
Doug: If we gonna work together, you might try and be polite.
Kate: You're not gonna be here long enough to make it worth the effort.
Doug: You don't think I can put up with your shit?
Kate: I don't think you can skate.
Doug: There are only two things I do really well, sweetheart, and skatings' the other one.
Kate: God, you really are a Neanderthal.
Doug: I hate to tell you, but I'm from Minnesota, thats south of Neanderthal.
Kate: What were you planning on doing when your gladiatoring days were over?
Doug: You can bet your tights I never thought I'd be working a freak show like this.
Kate: I'm surprised you don't chuck it all and start your own think tank.
Kate: If you're so bored, why don't you read?
Doug: What do you mean? A book?
Kate: That is an traditionally accepted format - yes.
Doug: Is this the beginning of a conversation here?
Kate: I was just simply asking if you knew how to read.
Doug: Yes. Doug. Can. Read.
Doug: So what do you do for fun? Polish your knife collection?
Kate: I'm sure I don't do anything you would find exciting.... I don't open beer bottles with my
toes. I don't sit around and count what's left of my teeth.... Hey, I don't even enjoy a good
tractor pull. A bit limited existence, but I've gotten used to it.
Doug: Life of the party, huh? Place must be crawling with guys.
Kate: As a matter of fact, I do have a boyfriend.
Doug: There's a rough gig. What do you do with him? Keep him chained up in the basement?
Kate: Hale at the moment is working at my farther's London office. He's an MBA. Harvard.
You might have heard of it - they do have a hockey team.
Doug: He must be a very smart guy. I bet you look pretty good from a few thousand miles away.
Doug: Well, you know Kate.
Hale: Yes I do, and I don't like to see her upset.
Doug:If I were you, I would invest in blindfolds.
Caffey: Someone hasn't been working and playing well with others, Harold.
Caffey: Train him to do what?
Dawson: To think of his unit before himself, to respect The Code.
Sam: Whats The Code?
Dawson: Unit, Corps, God, Country.
Sam: I beg your pardon?
Aaron: I am innocent.
Shaugnessy: Let me tell you something. Its a mistake to stick your thumb in the eyes of the most powerful people in the city.
Marty: Its not their eyes I'm aiming for.
Shaughnessy: Do not fuck with me, Marty.
Marty: The pipes are bursting again, John.
Aaron/Roy: But he ran, and got hisself caught, stupid little shit.
Marty: C'mon coverman, ask it.
Journalist: Ask what?
Marty: The question you wanted to ask me before.
Journalist: I don't understand, Mr. Vale.
Marty: How can you defend someone if you know they did it? How can you do that? How can you fucking defend these fucking scumbags? Isn't that what you wanted to ask me? It is isn't it? Huh? All those fucking coy questions, all that bullshit. Bottom line is how can you do what you do. You think its the money don't you? Moneys nice. The moneys very very nice, Jack. The first thing I ask a new client, I say, you've been saving up for a rainy day? Guess what, its ray-ning. You think its 'cause I want to see my face on the cover of magazines? My fifteen seconds on tv? I love it. I fucking love that shit! I really do. But guess what. Thats not it. You go to Las Vegas?
Journalist: Yeah.
Marty: I don't go to Vegas. Why do you think I don't go to Vegas?
Journalist: Marty, its late. I think that we should both just get up and go-
Marty: Why gamble with money when you can gamble with people's lives? That was a joke. All right, I'll tell you. I believe in the notion that people are innocent until proven guilty. I believe in that notion because I choose to believe in the basic goodness of people. I choose to believe that not all crimes are committed by bad people. And I try to understand that some very very good people do some very bad things.
Marty: You print any of this, I'll sue your fucking ass.
Aaron/Roy: There never was an Aaron.
Girl: Okay, guess we'll see you later. Bye
Slater: All right, check you later!
Don: Slateman, why are you always such a dork man?
Slater: What are you talking about?
Don:"Check you later, check you later"!
Slater: Hey man, get off my case man.
Don: Chicks don't want to hear that shit!
Slater: Well they don't want to hear anything, man. The girls, man, in our classes, they're all prudes, man. Worthless little bitches, man. Its the girls ahead of us, man they were wild. Our class is just worthless, man.
Don: Well maybe you've just haven't gotten passed the sniffin butt stage thats what that sounds like to me, thats what that sounds like.
Slater: Hey man, its quality not quantity. All right man? And wait til I get to college, man, I can't wait to get to college.
Wooderson: Thats what I like about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.
Pickford: Do you guys know what that songs about? Its about aliens. We're the aliens, man, we're the savages.
Stoner: Wait man, the songs about that?
Slater: Yeah man, the songs about that.
Stoner: About aliens?
Slater: Yeah man, you didn't know that? This country was founded, founded by people who were into aliens man. George Washington man, he was in a cult. And the cult was into aliens, man. You didn't know that? Oh man, they were way into that type of stuff.
**
Stoner: George toked weed man.
Slater: Absolutely George toked weed. Are you kidding me, man. He grew fields of that stuff. Thats what I'm talking about, FIELDS.
Stoner: He grew that shit up at Mount Vernon, man.
Slater: Mount Vernon, he grew it all over the country, man. He had people growin it all over the country. You know the whole country back then was getting high. Let me tell you man, cause cause cause he knew he was on to something, man. He knew it would be a good cash crop for the southern states, man. So he grew fields of it, man. But you know what, behind every good man theres a woman and that woman was Martha Washington, man. And everyday George would come home and she'd have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man. She was a hip hip hip lady.
**
Slater: And she was real cool too, she'd harvest the crops, man, thats what I'm talking about. She put in the the bushels and stuff and sell it you know. Because they had to, you know, make ends meet and stuff. Did you ever look at a dollar bill man? Theres some spooky stuff going on on a dollar bill, man. I mean, and its green too.
Jeannie: Oh fine. Whats this? Whats his problem?
Mrs. Bueller: He doesn’t feel well.
Jeannie: Yeah right. Dry that one out you could fertilize the lawn.
Ferris: Jeannie? Is that you? Jeannie? I can’t see that far. Jeannie? J-Jeannie, I...
Jeannie: Bite the big one, Junior.
Ferris: They bought it. Incredible. One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. How can I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this? This is my ninth sick-day this semester. It’s getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten I’ll probably gonna have to barf up a lung. So I better make this one count. The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. Its a good non-specific symptom. I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up at a doctor’s office, that’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp and when you’re bent over moaning and wailing... you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid but then, so is high school. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. I do have a test today, that wasn’t bullshit. Its on European Socialism. I mean really, whats the point? I’m not European, I don’t plan on being European so who gives a crap if they’re socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. Still wouldn’t change that fact that I don’t own a car... "I recall.. Central Park in fall... How you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess, its love"... Its not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” A good point there. Afterall, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides of people.
Ben Stein: Adams? (Here.) Adamley? (Here!) Adamowski? Adamson? (Here.) Adler? (Here.) Anderson? Anderson?(Here!) Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?
Simone: Uhm, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at Thirty-One Flavors last night. I guess its pretty serious.
Ben Stein: Thank you, Simone.
Simone: No problem whatsoever.
Ferris: If anybody needs a day off its Cameron. He has a lot of things to sort out before he graduates. He can’t be wound up this tight and go to college. His roommate’ll kill him.
Cameron: When Cameron was in Egypt’s land... Let my.. Cameron.. go...
Ferris: Pardon my French but Cameron is so tight, that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.
Ben Stein: In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in effort to alleviate the effects of the... Anyone? Anyone?... the Great Depression, passed the... Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill, the Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act which... Anyone? Raised or lowered? Raised tariffs in effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly that same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something D-O-O economics. Voodoo Economics.
Ferris: I’m so disappointed in Cameron. Twenty bucks says he’s sitting in his car debating about whether or not he should go out.
Cameron: He’ll keep calling me... He’ll keep calling me until I come over. He’ll make me feel guilty... This- this is ridiculous. Okay, I’ll go I’ll go I’ll go I’ll go I’ll go I’ll go I’ll go. Shit. Goddammit! Aghhhhhh! Forget it, thats it.
