a. Wacky
b. Creepy
c. Spooky
2. The Lone Gunmen are
a. CIA operatives who wear 10-gallon hats and spurs
b. The phantoms of a delusional cowboy with multiple personalities
c. Byers, Langly and Frohike
3. What was Mulder's answer when a vampire asked him: "Don't you want to live forever?"
a. What is I want to get a tan?
b. My doctor wouldn't approve a liquids-only diet for all eternity
c. Not if drawstring pants come back into style
4. David Duchovny made a commercial for
a. Pampers diapers
b. Calvin Klien boxer shorts
c. Lowenbrau beer
5. In reality, William B. Davis, who plays the Cigarette-Smoking Man, is a non-smoker. So does her really puff on the show?
a. He holds an unlit cigarette. Smoke is added in post production
b. The cigarettes are mechanical devices that emit steam
c. The secret is herbal cigarettes
6. What does the psychopath in Irresistible collect?
a. Pin-ups of supermodels
b. Teeth from gay men
c. Hair and fingernails from dead women
7. Operation Paper Clip refers to
a. The phasing out of staplers in the FBI offices
b. The rescue of Navajo tribes abducted by aliens
c. A secret deal allowing Nazi scientists to escape to the US in return for their research knowledge
8. The Gillian Anderson Testosterone Brigade is the Internet fan club counterpart to the
a. David Duchovny Aliens Brigade
b. David Duchovny Pheromones Brigade
c. David Duchovny Estrogen Brigade
9. You think Eugene Tooms is
a. A nice name
b. The real name of Deep Throat
c. A liver-eating genetic mutant
10. The show's teaser in the opening credits is
a. X Marks The Spot
b. The Truth Is In Here
c. The Truth Is Out There
11. Walter Skinner is
a. An alien in disguise
b. An alien-human hybrid
c. An FBI assistant director
12. In Humbug, an episode about murder in a community of circus and sideshow acts, Scully ate
a. A bowl of wonton mee
b. A flaming sword
c. A live cricket
13. Ratboy is
a. A pest exterminator
b. A genetic mutant who looks like a man with very furry ears
c. What X-Philes lovingly call Agent Krychek
14. What does the poster on Mulder's office wall say?
a. FBI's Most Unwanted
b. Trust No One
c. I Want To Believe
15. What are Mulder and Scully's middle names?
a. Jeremy and Amanda
b. Theodore and Margaret
c. William and Katherine
16. Which of the following victims still lives?
a. Voodoo practitioner Colonel Wharton
b. Physic dream killer Augustus Cole
c. English pryokenetic Cecil L'ively
17. The creator of The X-Files, Chris Carter, appeared in the episode
a. Genderbender as a victim
b. The Host as the Fluke-man
c. Anasazi as part of an FBI interview panel
18. Who saved Mulder's life in the two-parter "Nisei"/"731"?
a. Scully
b. The Well Manicured Man
c. Mr. X
19. What was the tagline in the opening credits of "731"?
a. Don't know. It was in Japanese.
b. You have a friend in the FBI
c. Apology is policy
20. Which of the following has never attacked Mulder or Scully?
a. A modern-day vampire
b. A shape-changing alien
c. A 200 lb vegetarian pig
21. In Hell Money, Mulder and Scully investigate murders in
a. A funeral parlor
b. A bank whose president is a closet cross-dresser and psychopath
c. San Francisco's Chinatown
Your answers:
"b": You picked the kinkier, though wrong answers. You can deny everything, but there's an X-Phile inside.
"c" You are an X-Phile. What are you doing taking this test?
Remember, trust no one, deny everything. and may you never meet a handsome/beautiful man/woman (respectively) who says to you: "You've stolen my heart. But never mind, I have three more in the freezer back home."
If your answers are mostly...
"a": You know "X" is the third last letter in the alphabet, it stands for xylophone and is sometimes used to indicate where a signature should go. 