[Graphic fades to live TV set decorated with shelves of books, most of them being the copies same hardbound book. A bearskin rug is on the floor, and a desk is in the foreground. Visible in the bookshelves to our right of the desk are two TV monitors, the one on the left and to the rear being larger than the one to its right, which is closer to us, and set lower in the case. An edge of a third monitor is barely visible at the right edge of our own TV screen. The rearmost monitor has a picture of Bill Clinton on it, and the middle monitor has a picture of Jesse Jackson.
[Seated at the desk is a well-dressed, clean-shaven, rather portly man with the beginnings of male-pattern baldness. He looks affable enough. On his lapel is what appears to be a ribbon, but closer examination reveals it to be a dollar bill folded and looped into the shape of a ribbon, fastened to his lapel with an eagle-shaped tie tack. The man sits back in his chair and laughs out loud for about 15 seconds, then leans forward in his chair and begins to speak…]
"HAHAHAHAHA!! I never know what Joe and the guys in the studio are gonna put up on that graphic! Hee hee! Poor President Clinton! He just can't seem to get anything right these days!
"This is a Special Edition of the Rush Limbaugh Television Program: America Held Hostage. This is Day 186 of the Raw Deal, known as the Clinton Presidency. The views expressed by the host of this show are sweeping the Nation, because the views expressed by the host of this show make more sense than anything anyone else is saying in the dominant Liberal media culture."
[At this point, Mr. Limbaugh stands up, and walks toward the first monitor. The camera follows him, and starts to zoom in on that monitor. He points to it with a long, thin, brown staff.]
"As you know, this pointer I hold in my formerly nicotine-stained fingers is a genuine rain forest wooden pointer. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you make out of it after you kill it. Folks, we have quite a show lined up for you tonight, as you can see by the monitors. First off, [at this point he taps the first monitor] President Bill Clinton, who said something truly incredible today, involving the recent fiasco with the U.N. and the European branch of the Justice League International. Wait until you hear it, folks. You didn't think he could sink any lower than his support of what was since revealed to be the worst genocidal maniac since Adolph Hitler: the notorious Cyborg Superman responsible for the destruction of Coast City and much of that part of the Great State of California. Well, on second thought, maybe what's on this monitor tonight isn't that bad, folks, but it comes pretty close. And to think Mr. Clinton thought that was the One True Superman! But wait until you see this, folks!"
[He reaches down and taps the second monitor, as the camera moves to encompass it.]
"Next up is thuh Rhev’rhnd Jess’ee JACK — s’hnnnnnnnn, back in the news again with his own spin on the Coast City tragedy."
[He walks to the third monitor, set higher up than the second, but about the same size as it. On it is a picture of Janet Reno.]
"After that, we have a clip for you from Ms. Janet Reno, commenting on the rise of supervillain crime, and what the Justice Department plans on doing about it, and should President Clinton go through with his plans which are discussed on the first monitor. And finally…"
[The camera pans to the fourth monitor, which has a big white question mark on a blue background. He taps it briefly.]
"And, of course, the fourth monitor, which we will get to if we have time. I hope we do, because there's something there you really need to see. But if we can't, we'll get to it later this week."
[Mr. Limbaugh returns to his chair, and the camera pans back to center on his desk. As he sits down, the two still-visible monitors change to RUSH and The Rush Limbaugh Show logo screens.]
"We'll go to our first segment, right after this break."
[Fade out.]
[Fade in to an advertisement. The Cyborg Superman’s face is shown in still, as a hard-sell salesman-type voice says:]
"Do you want to know the real story behind the man who murdered Coast City and its five million people? Who was Hank Henshaw? Why was he allowed to participate in the government-funded experiments which gave him his power and enabled him to commit the single greatest mass murder in U. S. history? Why did Pres. Bill Clinton really endorse this monster as the One True Superman?
"If you want to know the facts about these and other important news today, you need to subscribe to the Conservative Chronicle.… "
[Sales pitch continues, and finally the commercial ends. Some local commercials are now shown here. Eventually, the break ends. Fade back in to the Rush Limbaugh Show, with Rush still seated at his desk.]
"We're back! Poor President Clinton! His approval rating since the Coast City disaster has plummeted to the single digits — the first time any American president's approval rating has done this since approval ratings have been tracked! Even Nixon at the height of the Watergate scandal was more popular than Clinton is right now! I almost feel sorry for the man. Almost.
"But then he goes and does something like this. As you may know, the U.S. Government and the U.N. were recently at odds over two extraterrestrial political refugees. The fugitives took refuge under the protection of the Justice League International, led by Princess Diana of the now-destroyed island nation of Themyscira. Bill Clinton, folks, actually backed the alien invaders who were trying to recapture these fugitives! He even sent in a metahuman task force headed up by the government hero and former Justice League member and leader Captain Atom, and this task force actually fought with the League— risking the lives of tourists, not to mention the UN building! — to aid the aliens in capturing these fugitives without benefit of any sort of trial or even hearing! Mr. Clinton, have you already forgotten what happened to the world a few years ago at the hands of alien invaders? Yet you, and by extension the United States as a whole, side with these invaders against two beings whose guilt has not even been given probable cause, let alone been established in a court of law?
"But wait, folks! It gets even better! Based partially on this incident, Clinton is proposing new legislation which will make it more difficult for costumed heroes to function in our society! He wants to repeal the Keene Act, for starters, and require the official deputization of those heroes who will be permitted to help defend us against the rising tide of normal and supervillain crime! It's not enough that he and his ilk tried to stuff the Brady Bill down our throats to keep us from being able to defend ourselves! It's not enough that the liberals over the decades have handcuffed the police with ridiculous bleeding-heart regulations that only help the criminals! No, he now wants to tie the hands of the Justice League and other superheroes as well, and even impose a retroactive tax on all uses of superhuman powers — the latter under the excuse of ‘fairness’ and ‘equality,’ claiming that non-metahumans cannot compete against metahumans in the job market.
“What was Hank Henshaw, folks, if not a supervillain? And he destroyed a major American city, and tried to destroy this city I broadcast from— Metropolis, mecca of liberalism — in an attempt to move the planet itself out of its orbit as his base for conquering the Universe! If it weren't for noble heroes like the true Superman and the man now known as Steel, not to mention Green Lantern and the teenager who claims to be a clone of Superman, Henshaw would’ve succeeded! How do we know he, or someone like him — anyone remember Brainiac? — might not try again? And Clinton wants to make it harder for the superheroes to do their job!! All because some of them dared to go along with his alliance with alien invaders!"
“Time for another break, folks. After that, we'll have the next segment, with thuh Rhev’rhnd Jess’ee JACK — s’hnnnnnnnn’s comments, coming right up, so don't go away!”
[Fade out. Fade in to William F. Buckley as he pitches his publication, the National Review, featuring articles on the Real Reagan Record, the Coast City Disaster, the Return of Superman, the Keene Act and What It Means to Effective Superheroing, etc. This is followed by more local commercials.]