"And what does this have to do with comic books?" you might ask. Good question. The point is that the little things really do matter. Everything else may be seemingly perfect, but you always have to look at the small details for improvement. Sometimes this improvement might come late. In Columbo terms, this would be in the last ten minutes. Sometimes we pick up on clues and then drop them because they later seem irrelevant. I think this is the case today. Something IS wrong, and unlike Peter Falk, I don't have to pretend to be stupid (Uh, waitaminit) to solve this case!
The DC Universe is in very good shape right now. Much better shape then the HOUSE next door, at least. Maybe they might be spying on us right now, getting some hints to improve their own yard. That HOUSE could use some new IDEAS. DC has a terrific set of characters, heroes and villains. The crossovers in the last year, in our own yard and with the yard next door, have been pretty spectacular. And I think we all know that DC is willing to take some big chances with even its flagship characters. Look at Superman! We was killed, brought back (along with a bunch of new pals), married to Lois, and now he's about to be turned into a human lightning rod. And believe me, it TAKES a man of steel to be a human lightning rod! Hal Jordon became a really cool bad guy, and then kicked the bucket. Batman had his spine shattered. These are important changes, and I don't think we would have seen any of them ten years ago. Yup, DC can do no wrong. Oh, Pardon Me...
I think we've all been overlooking something important. A clue we had in the beginning and then discarded for something better (?). But wait, no crime has been committed! You're right. No crime has been committed. Or has it? Things are hunky-dory at DC, right? Well no, not really. I mean there's a body in the other room, so something must be wrong!
Someone killed the team-up book. Remember team-up books? They often featured one regular recurring character who would then team up with a different character for each story arc. You may not have noticed, but this body has been cold for quite a while. Its even starting to stink up the joint. Mind if I smoke? Good. So we all know what's back there, but why didn't you call us sooner? You probably forgot, right? An honest mistake, I'm sure. Got a light? I seem to have left mine in the car. Anyway, where was I?
Oh yeah. The Body. Our team-up books are gone. I know you think there's no significance to his passing, but I have to disagree with you on that. Haven't you noticed the smell since he was killed? We've had an endless supply of guest stars in our comics. Every month its something different, and the teaming of these characters usually seems forced. You can't just scotchguard that body, squirt it with lemony scented stuff, and hope the problem'll go away. It doesn't work that way. Many times, these team-ups serve no purpose other than to boost the sales of a weak comic book. This wouldn't be so bad if the guest star didn't seem to be forced into our comic (did Hawkman just sprout waterwings?). On top of that, these team-ups often break up structure of an important story (Starman is about to defeat the bad guys after five long issues, and now. . . Lobo?). I hate that.
So what can we do about this problem? How do we get rid of these "guests" that are always clogging up our stories? Well I liked the PLUS issues that DC put out. Showcase wasn't so good, but the World's Finest limited series' have been consistently good too. So that shows that there was still a little life in that body, but now I don't know. I think it's finally dead. I mean REALLY dead. I think it may be time for you to get a roommate. Maybe one that comes out monthly and has a cheaper price tag than those World's Finest series'. One with all the team-ups you could stand. Heck, get two roommates. Maybe three. I think you'll find the stink will leave in no time. You just have to get some LIFE into that room. Oh, one more thing...
This has been bugging me from square one. Why would someone kill this poor guy? We got the weapon. It was poor sales. But you said so yourself that he was a pretty good guy. And he didn't have any enemies, right? Hmm. That IS a puzzler. I just don't get it. Is it possible, sir, that this was a random thing? I didn't think so. Its just so sad. You're right sir, someone clearly killed him. And it looks like he had been bleeding for quite some time. Paper cuts, one would suppose.
You know what I think? I think that this WAS murder, and he died slow. He was clearly being neglected here. Someone should have been checking up on him. No offense sir. Pardon me, but do you know what I think? I think YOU killed him. Clearly he had been alive in there at one time, but he couldn't get to the door. After all, its hard to get up when your crumpled up in the wastecan like that. Who do you do that anyway? I think he was crushed and discarded, and I think you left him for dead. You neglected him until he was dead. Well, the smell will be a lot worse in prison, sir. I'm afraid you'll have to come with me. I can't help but thinking sir, that maybe someone else will move in here soon. And that person and his roommate will respect each other. Maybe this won't happen again. Yes sir, I hope I see another team-up book in here really soon.