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DC's Most Infamous Villains


Lately I've seen some articles for DC FANZINE that weren't about fantastic new events or details about writers or artists, but just sort of thought-provoking discussions about the DC Universe, and its history...

What hasn't been said about the DC superheroes before? That people hate them? That isn't said very often... especially by those who have looked elsewhere for great heroes... (and have discriminating taste)...

But there ARE those who hate the superheroes of DC. And I'm not just talking about the 12 year old anarchists that rush into the DC Online chat rooms to shout their age and sex and that everything but X-Men "sux," either... I'm talking about... oh could it possibly be... oh yes I think it just might. . .EEEEEEEEEEEEEE-VIIIIIIILLLLLL.

That's right-- Bad Guys. And Bad Girls (even better for sales). And Bad Mind-Controlling Starfish From Outer Space That Suck Onto Your Head And Make You Do Their Bidding Formerly Known As Starro. And Bad Robots. And Conceptual Beings That You Would Like To Avoid Letting Them Hear You Make Value Judgements About In The First Place.

It's said you know the great by their enemies, and the superheroes of DC have some of the most... Great? I won't glorify the names of those who follow by calling them great. But they're so important I can't call them the worst... Or the most monstrous-- some are so much more clever and brilliant than you or I they understand how the continuity works post-Zero Hour, and are witty, charming, and civilized as well and probably good dancers. Or the most fiendish... some don't think at all, but exist only in so far as their capacity for destruction can be described. Or even the most evil-- some would be heroes themselves if the world was just a little different...

Well, yeah-- but not many of them.

DC'S MOST INFAMOUS (and SCARY) VILLAINS

Superman: Lex Luthor (runner-up: Mongul)

Throughout his entire history, from the first year of Clark Kent's appearance in comics (well the first few months anyway) to this month, Lex Luthor has tried to destroy Superman. His motives vary from age to age and story to story... it's not like he needs to control Metropolis, or the America, or rake in the bucks with a backhoe... he already does all that. His greatest motivation comes from the Silver Age, when, while just trying to come up with a cure for Kryptonite for Superboy (and don't think he couldn't do it!), he was caught in an accident and became a man Trapped In A World Without Rogaine. (Sure, he could invent it... he probably DID... but like it says in the commercials, it only works on a certain percentage of men.) Like I say, various villians act out of greed... this is base behavior. Lex just wants his statue to have its place in the sun... but the place he's got picked out is currently occupied by a statue of Superman.

He's brought a big hammer though.

Wonder Woman: Ares (runner-up: Cheetah)

Wonder Woman has fought everyone from Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser to Egg Fu, but it seems like she's only ever REALLY been fighting against one thing-- a concept... untruth, fear, hatred, prejudice, misunderstanding, greed, deception... everything that adds up in this sad World of Man to war.

Unfortunately for her, she was born of an origin in which War is a big angry scheming god named Ares.

Oops.

Aquaman: Ocean Master

Sure, you can talk about Black Manta, but when it comes down to it, only one man has the needed drive and hatred to keep his heart at exactly 451 degrees Fahrenheit... and that's the Ocean Master.

Two brothers will always fight over the fate of Atlantis. And it's not an uneven match... they've each always been and still are just as gifted and dysfunctional as the other. (And that's pretty darn gifted and dysfunctional.) They always manage to one-up one another just in time to run smack into their own shortcomings. End of debate. Black Manta doesn't really even make the cut long enough to BE cut.

Batman: Joker (runner-up: Ra's al Ghul)

It was a close final round, but can there be any doubt? Ra's al Ghul comes close: he's every bit as competant, strong, and brilliant as Bruce, and is as well or better groomed...

The Joker isn't civilized, especially competant, masculine, brilliant, or as good a fighter as Batman. He's just an obscene mockery, a monster that stopped being human a long time ago and can't be contained. And that's why he wins this contest by a wide margin.

All humor is at the expence of someone else, the butt of even a kindly joke that makes you want to laugh and say, wow, I'm glad I'm not that guy.

Based on this principle, for the Joker, "Life... is a cabaret, old chum... so come, to the cabaret..."

Dream of the Endless: The Kindly Ones

Dream was ever done the most damage by The Kindly Ones. But hey, they were just doing their job as they saw fit. And that's all I feel I need to say about that. I really just have nothing bad to say about The Kindly Ones. And neither will you if you know what's good for you.

LSH: Mordru (runners-up: Computo, Glorith, the Dominators)

Tough choice, but we the poll we had here at DC FANZINE helped me decide.

Computo once made Triplicate Girl into Duo-Damsel and thus his name must be hated and reviled forever. And if it ever happens again, the same goes for the writers who make it happen.

The Dominators invaded Earth and destroyed the Legion. They made Sun Boy into a traitor and experimented on the human populace. They enslaved the human race and a bunch more.

Glorith is, well, Glorith.

But Mordru destroyed a planet and swatted the Legion like bugs without half trying, and held off two super-teams and some hangers-on and the Emerald Eye and some U.P. battleships and blew a guy's face off and crippled Magno during 15 rounds in which they barely made him stub his toe. And all we could do to him was wear him out and put him down for a nap. And that's just in CURRENT continuity.

Ouch.

Green Lantern: Sinestro (runner-up: Star Sapphire)

Sure, Star Sapphire killed Katma Tui, and that's pretty bad. But Sinestro (like Lex) has been killed before and come back. What made Sinestro the threat he was was that he'd BEEN in the Green Lantern Corps. Heck, they considered him their BEST.

And then he snapped. Maybe it's the GREEN LANTERNS who should come with a built-in safety valve in case they get too powerful, and not the rings?

Titans: Brother Blood (runners-up: Komand'r, Trigon)

Speaking of super-teams (GLCorps, that is), let's talk some more about teams. Who's the scariest villian the Teen Titans ever crossed?

Trigon was pretty darn scary.

Starfire's sister blowed up her wedding reeeal good. Wildebeest looks darn sad as a threat next to these guys.

So it's strange, unless you've read the stories he appeared in, that Brother Blood might be the scariest threat the Titans ever faced. He ruined their reputation and messed with Dick's brain (okay not the most difficult thing in the whole world... it's right above making Cyborg look dumb... although hey, he did that too), and threw the core team in a pit with a giant spider that he'd tortured and starved to make sure it ate 'em all. And messed-up, tortured, busted-rib Dick Grayson still saved them all. Whatta guy.

But Brother Blood still got away. And that was in JUST ONE ISSUE. I can't tell you much more than that about Brother Blood. Too disgusting.

Doom Patrol: Candlemaker (runner-up: the Chief)

(NOTE: SPOILERS -- GO READ DOOM PATROL YOURSELF FIRST!)

Grant Morrison came onto this title and put in hints, almost from his first issue, that the Candlemaker was going to come and destroy the Doom Patrol. We didn't want him to do it. They really didn't deserve it. They had problems of their own.

Like their leader, the Chief, who oh-by-the-way-didn't-I-mention arranged the accidents that made them freaks and outcasts in the first place just to see what would happen and then let Rita Farr die?

After the Chief killed a Doom Patrol member who was starting to figure all this out, we were just working on what we were going to do about this revelation when the Candlemaker, an embodiment of nuclear holocaust fears of the world ever since the atomic bomb was used, was accidentally given life by a Doom Patrol member in the form of the Chief's newest, greatest robot.

It then proceeded to kill the Chief and rip out Cliff Steele's brain and make it go squishy squishy. And lots of other bad things after that.

On the other hand, one should probably mention that Mister Nobody and his Brotherhoods of Dada _were_, contrary to what I said in the introduction, the Doom Patrol's GREATEST villains. They were hilarious. Who doesn't like Mr. Nobody? He's such a nut.

Flash: Professor Zoom, The Reverse-Flash. (runners-up: Anti-Monitor, Rogue's Gallery, Savitar)

The Anti-Monitor killed Barry? Don't believe it. Barry SACRIFICED himself. And there was a serious weapon of destruction involved, too.

Savitar? Sure, he was powerful, but he didn't hang around long, did he?

The Rogue's Gallery? Not in great shape today, are they...? No, there's one guy who's the worst. In his sick, twisted way, he really is the Anti-Barry. Costume like Barry (only yellow). Looks like Barry. Powers equal to Barry.

BUT BROTHER, THAT AIN'T BARRY. It's PROFESSOR ZOOM, THE REVERSE-FLASH. It's a name that still fits, beyond the cheesiness of the Silver Age. The REVERSE-Flash. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Martian Manhunter: Despero

I thought-- ya know, we don't really know all that much about J'Onn. Who comes back time and time again to strike at the Martian Manhunter and what HE holds dear? He's an alien from a lost and wasted planet, what DOES he hold dear?

When I answered that question, I answered the other. J'Onn has feelings, alien though they be, for the Justice League. And there's a single being that fills the bill. Another very alien being from a messed-up planet. Despero. Despero killed the family of one JLA member just to warm up and would have killed Scott Free if he hadn't been on tour that week. Make no mistake... if Despero isn't the scariest villain for the JLA, he is for the Martian Manhunter.

Oh, and J'Onn likes Oreo cookies. But no one attacks Oreos. Not often.

JLA: Dreamslayer (runner-up: The Artist Formerly Known As Starro)

Okay, so who IS the villain to beat when you're in the JLA? Dreamslayer. The Extremists, who destroyed their own world, were just decoys for how powerful this guy was. He took over Maxwell Lord and killed the Silver Sorceress. That's some big, big evil. You can draw it as scary as you want, but it's a little hard to take a starfish that seriously.

The Planet Earth in General: Sun-Eater (runner-up: Eclipso)

Okay, what about the whole planet? The Sun-Eater gave me bad dreams, I dunno about you... and where was Eclipso during Final Night? You'd think he'd have been wiping everyone off the map. He was probably at a week-long celebration party in Rio. He always was a little overconfident. Well, that's why he didn't win this one.

Everybody and Anybody: Darkseid (runner-up: Anti-Monitor)

Okay, yes, sure, the Anti-Monitor, but the Anti-Monitor was really more of a threat to DC the company, not DC the Universe. We BEAT the Anti-Monitor. Darkseid has staying power. Darkseid is big and bad. Darkseid was created by Kirby. Fear Darkseid. He's the philosophical type, a scholar really, who is interested in finding out what makes the cosmos tick so he can unwind it. And Granny Goodness works for him. And the being who writes her paychecks, friends, is seriously bad.


Article by Park Cooper
"A writer set in the world created by Jack Kirby"

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