A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up,looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.
After a while, he began to drive his partner nuts. Finally, the partner says, "What the heck is taking so long? Just hit the damn ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse so
I want to make this a perfect shot."
His partner ponders this for a moment
and then replies: "Forget it man, you don`t stand a snowball`s chance in
hell of hitting her from here!"
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play -- normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have play on or are currently playing to the owner of the course being
played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a player's
equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear along, just in case.
10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been
properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being
played on for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing what they consider to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.
12. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.
13. Slow play is encouraged; however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.
14. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
15. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.
** Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at a given course. Additional assessments may be levied by the course owner and the rules are subject to change. For this reason, many players prefer to continue to play several different courses.
An American business man goes down to Hong Kong for a meeting, and while
there, he decides to visit a brothel. He gets a beautiful young girl and gets a room.
They make love all night and the whole time she screams "Sung wa, sung
wa!" Thinking this means "That's good!" or something of that nature, he
continues, and greatly enjoys himself.
A week later he's golfing with a client from Hong Kong. The client
takes
a shot and gets a hole in one. Wanting to show off his language skills,
he proudly proclaims "Sung wa, sung wa!". The client looks confused and
asks, "What do you mean, 'Wrong hole' 'Wrong hole'?"
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