POINTS TO PONDER

If I had a million bucks, I'd buy a new butt.
Mine has a crack in it.

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Q: What is endless love?
A: Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time.
Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window: "Pull over!"
"No," she shouts back, ... " a pair of socks!"

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Q: What's the difference between Kathy Lee Gifford and shooting arrows at lovers?
A: Shooting arrows at lovers is a Cupid stunt.

What happened to the indian who drank 100 cups of tea?
He drowned in his tea pee.

Q: What's the definition of indecent?
A: When it's in long and it's in deep then it's indecent.

Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

Q: What's the difference between a sewing machine and a lady jogging?
A: The sewing machine has just one bobbin.

When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag. Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience. "And the Americans, they are so friendly!" he concluded. "Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang, .... 'Jose, can you see?'"