LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

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What campaign promise is Bill Clinton keeping?
To focus on domestic affairs.

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Did you know that Hillary Clinton just wrote a new book?
It's titled, "It Takes a Village to Satisfy My Husband"

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Why does Bill Clinton wear boxer shorts ?
To keep his ankles warm.

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Q: Why does Clinton invite so many women into the Oval Office?
A: To show them the executive branch.

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Q: What does Bill say to Hillary after sex?
A: "I'll be home in twenty minutes!"

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Clinton didn't tell Monica to lie in her disposition.
He told her to lie in that position.

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Most people worry about getting AIDS from sex.
The president worries about getting sex from aides.

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Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.

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Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.

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What is Bill Clinton's favorite federal program?
"Head" Start.

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What did Monica tell friends when asked about her job at the White House?
"It sucks !"

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Why did Al Gore offer to switch places with the Commander in Chief?
He thought Clinton was already acting as VICE president

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