CAT COMMANDMENTS
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Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the
modem.
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Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
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Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
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Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou
are transparent.
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Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
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Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.
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Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
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Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou
wilt fall in and trap thyself.
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Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is
sitting down.
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Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.
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Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to
escape at thy first opportunity.
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Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.
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Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in
thy house.
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Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants
are not meat.
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Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.
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