from "The Park Avenue Observatorium"
Top of The Heap, Bottom of The Bottle
by Dorothy Parka

This season's hottest party will no doubt be at _Chez Moi Da Mone_, (accent on the monE!) hosted by the Beaucoup Bucks Camp of Black Rock City. For the two among us not on the proverbial ball (and if you're not, perhaps you need to check out another, more mundane, party), c'est it reallllll fast _Chez Moi Da Mone_! and jump up and down a few times. By Jove, I think you've got it! This is a _formal_ and _guestlist only_ club, but if you're extra-special nice to the door _personelle_, you'll be admitted regardless of your unfortunate guestlist omission, and maybe even get slipped a couple bills. Just put those bills in your well-lined pocket--your mone is no good here at BBC. Watch out for the over-zealous drunken help, or not! Maybe you'll enjoy getting dusted by a soused servant! Why, housework never looked so, umm, SEXY. But you _do_ want to watch for the paparazzi. You know how your face sags when you get drunk. The rich and famous who've RSVP'd for this soiree are so exclusive I can't even print their names in this column, but _you_ know who they are. If you don't, you should probably be hanging out on Bedford Street with the other people who have exactly zero clues. Anyway, I'll see you there--if you're there early. I won't be able to see anything after a few hours of, uh, _celebrating_.