CHAPTER SIX
 
  	  Luke stood in the bedroom and watched his wife's worried slumber.  He
could see the lines in her face grow and shrink as dreams disturbed her.  He
thought briefly about waking her, but knew that right now, even nightmares were
better than reality.  He sat in the chair by the window and stared out at nothing. 
Luke felt as if his age was finally catching up with him.  ‘I'm an old man,’ he
thought to himself.
  
   	 Laura stirred slightly, then drifted back to sleep.  Luke looked at her and
smiled sadly.  With pain obviously marring her face even in slumber, Luke was
amazed by how just looking at her almost made his pain go away.  Then he
thought about why they were both hurting.  But he needed her, and he needed to
be strong for her.  Luke knew that he would turn the world upside down if it
meant that she would never have to cry again.

	Luke had talked to Lisa earlier and found out that Elizabeth was going to
be okay.  She said that she had something to tell him, but wanted to discuss it in
person.  Lisa had wanted to come over right away, but Luke finally persuaded her
that he and Laura needed some time.
  
   	 Time to ponder the loss of their son.  True, they had other children.  They
had Lesley Lu, he had Lisa and Laura had Nikolas, but Lucky was their first child
together.  Their only son together.  The only child they had reared from infant to
adulthood.  

   	 Laura sat up in bed and looked at Luke, "Luke?" she called out to him.
  
  	  He walked over and sat next to her in bed, "Hi Angel," he said softly,
sadly.  Without any other words, they embraced each other tightly and held on to
each other for support and comfort.
  
*****

	Lisa quietly snuck upstairs at Wyndemere.  Even though she’d told Mrs.
Lansbury to tell Stefan that she was coming home, she felt like she just needed to
think.  And she always thought best in the shower.  Quickly shucking off her
cold-weather clothes, she started a steaming hot shower.  As the water caressed
her body, she let the steam caress her mind.  

	She breathed deeply and let her mind focus on nothing.  Then the images
came flooding back to her.  The fear that gripped her right after the earthquake. 
The sadness that enveloped her heart when she heard about Lucky’s death.  The
denial six years ago when she’d been told that her own daughter was dead.  The
depression three years ago that nearly caused her to commit suicide when she’d
found out she was pregnant and possibly couldn’t carry the child to term...

	Doctor Alan Quartermaine explained Lisa’s current
condition to her.  “Well Lisa, the pain in your sides that you are
experiencing is left over from your attack.  The muscle tissue is
trying to knit itself and in doing so, creates the pulling that you
feel.”

	Lisa nodded, “But that doesn’t explain the nausea.”

	Alan agreed, “True, but the cause of that is something
much simpler.  Lisa, you’re pregnant.”

	Lisa gasped as her hand flew up to her mouth.  “Oh Doc,
please tell me you’re wrong.  I can’t be, that shouldn’t happen.  It
just can’t.  That’s impossible.” she mumbled mostly to herself. 
She tried hard not to cry, but the tears just started coming.  She
looked up at Alan, “Doc, they told me when my daughter died that
I had internal injuries and that there was no way that I could carry
a child.”  She looked at Lesley beseechingly, “What am I gonna
do, Grandma?  I can’t... I can’t... I can’t do this.  I just can’t,” she
began to mumble over and over.

	Lisa brought both hands up to cover her mouth and began
to rock back and forth, trying to hold back the tears.  


	Lisa let the water run over her face and in her hair as the memories flooded
her mind...


	Lisa sat in her car, parked in the alley near the docks. 
There were tears streaming freely down her face.

	She put her hand on her stomach and talked to her unborn
child.  “I’m sorry, babe.  I just can’t do it, you know?  There’s too
much risk to both of us.  I went through this whole thing with your
sister, just to lose her before I even knew her.  I can’t tell you what
that did to me.  It hurt your daddy too, but he never let it show. 
That’s why I left him.

	“I’m scared, little one.  Your grandpa and daddy don’t like
each other and I’m afraid they can’t look past their differences. 
They haven’t been able to for me, that’s for sure.  I just don’t think
I can handle that anymore.

	“I know you can’t possibly understand this, but it’s what I
feel I have to do.  This is only thing I know to do.  Your daddy says
he loves me, but he’s with someone else.  I can’t use you to get him
back.  That’s not fair to any of us.”

	Lisa wiped away tears and turned on the radio.  The song
“Don’t Speak” by No Doubt was playing...


You and me, we used to be together
Everyday together, always.
I really feel, I’m losing my best friend,
I can’t believe this could be the end.
It looks as though, your letting go,
And if it’s real well I don’t want to know.

Don’t speak, I know just what your saying 
So please stop explaining, Don’t tell me cause it hurts.

Our memories, they can be inviting,
But some are altogether mighty frightening.
As we die, both you and I,
With my head in my hands I sit and cry.


	While the chorus of the song played again, Lisa revved up
the engine of the car.  “I’m sorry, baby,” she said softly.


It’s all ending, I gotta stop pretending who we are.
You and me, I can see us dying, are we...


	Just then, Lisa gunned the car and threw it in gear, driving
right off the end of the pier.


Hush, hush darling...
Hush, hush darling...


	Lisa leaned forward and let the water rush over her head as she started to
cry.

*****

	Stefan had watched as Lisa went upstairs.  He knew she needed time alone
and granted her that.  But it had been over a half an hour since her arrival and he
still hadn’t heard anything from her.  As he entered their bedroom, he could hear
water running from inside the connecting bathroom.  He could feel the heat from
the steam as he got closer and closer.

	He opened the bathroom door and was almost overpowered by the steam. 
“Leezia?” he called out gently to his wife.  He quickly shed his jacket because of
the heat.  Lisa didn’t answer him.  He opened the shower door and saw Lisa just
standing under the water, letting it wash over her.  “Leezia?” he called out to her
again.
	
	When she didn’t answer, he reached in and turned off the water, gently
taking her by the shoulders and turning her around to face him.  Even though her
face was covered in water, he could tell from her puffy, red eyes that she’d been
crying.  Without a word, he helped her out of the shower and wrapped her in an
oversized towel.

	Stefan led her to the bed, then crossed to the other side and laid down,
pulling her towards him.  He held her tightly and whispered soothing words to her
as she softly cried against his shoulder.

*****




CHAPTER SEVEN
  
    	Lisa woke up, pulled the covers over her head and groaned.  She peeked
out and looked at the clock on the nightstand: 9:45am.  She sat up quickly, just as
Stefan walked in the room carrying a tray full of breakfast food.  "Good morning,"
he said softly.  He lifted the tray slightly, "I brought breakfast."
  
    	She gave him an odd look, "Why did you let me sleep this late?  The girls
will be wondering why I didn't say anything to them before they met with the
tutors."
  
    	Stefan shook his head slightly, "The girls are with Alexis today."  He sat
the tray down on a dresser and walked over and sat down next to Lisa, "I wanted
you to get your rest.  It was after 5am when you fell asleep."  She started to argue,
but he stopped her before she could say anything, "You hadn't slept in 48 hours,
you needed your rest."  He kissed her forehead, then stood up, retrieved the tray of
food and sat it in front of her.  "Now, you should eat something."
  
    	"I'm not very hungry."
  
    	"Eat," he insisted.  "If you won't sleep, you at least have to eat, and I'm
going to stand here until you do."
  
    	A sad smile played across Lisa's face, "You always take such good care of
me."
  
    	"I only wish that were true," Stefan whispered, his mind instantly returning
to a time when he was unable to protect Lisa...
  

     	Stefan opened the large door to sixteen year old Lisa’s
room.  She only heard him enter, she didn’t see him.  She refused
to look at him.  Instead, she was lying on her stomach, with her
face cushioned in the blanket that she'd had since her childhood.

    	Stefan innocently asked, “Did you enjoy your trip off the
island?”  He watched as she shook her head, but said nothing.  He
continued, “Why not?  Sit up and tell me about it.”

     	Lisa sighed and sat up slowly, but continued to hold the
blanket against her face with both hands.  “It was fine,” she
mumbled.

    	Stefan sat next to her on the bed, “Why do you insist on
holding your blanket against your face?  I cannot understand a
word you say.”   Stefan reached over to pull Lisa’s hands away
from her face.

     	When Stefan touched her hands, Lisa jumped.  Suspicious,
Stefan softly said, “Let me see your face.”  Lisa breathed deeply
and slowly brought the blanket and her hands down and let Stefan
see what she’d been trying to hide.

     	Stefan gasped as he saw for the first time the result of Lisa
and Billy’s trips.  One of Lisa’s eyes was black and puffy, her
cheeks were bruised and with her hands now at her side, Stefan
could see patches of dried blood on her shirt where she’d been cut
or scratched on her shoulders.

     	Controlling the anger boiling up inside, Stefan said, “He
did this to you, didn’t he.”  It wasn’t a question.  “And from your
reaction, I’d say it wasn’t the first time.”

     	Lisa nodded slightly, but still continued to look down.  In
answer to his next unasked but obvious question, she said, “I
didn’t say anything because I figured I’d just better get used to it. 
After all, Helena promised me to him when I turn eighteen.”

     	Stefan frowned, “Not as long as I head this family.  I make
you my promise.”

     	Lisa glanced up at him and softly started to cry.  He
couldn’t bear to see her hurt like this.  Stefan pulled her into a
gentle embrace.  “You cry, sweet Leezia.  You cry until you don’t
need to anymore,” he said softly as she sobbed with her head
against his chest.

~!~!~!~


	"What's wrong?" Lisa asked when she saw that familiar distant look cross
Stefan's face.
  
    	"I was just thinking," Stefan said.  "I'll leave you to eat breakfast in peace."
  
    	As he turned to leave, Lisa called out to him, "Stefan, please, don't go." 
She picked up the breakfast tray, got out of bed and sat the tray back on the
dresser.  She walked over to him and turned him around to face her.  She reached
out and took his face in her hands, "I know that look, Stefan, I’ve seen it before.  I
owe you my life, many times over.  How can you think that anything that's
happened to me has anything to do with you?"
  
    	Stefan reached up and took her hands from his face, "I had it in my power
to return you to your father when you were a young girl and didn't, so yes, in a
sense, everything that happened to you after that is my fault.  Billy Evans pops
immediately to mind as an example."
  
    	Lisa frowned instinctively as she thought about all the harm she'd come to
at the hands of Billy Evans.  "Don't go there, Stefan," she said harshly.  Then,
more softly, she added, "Billy was a sick, twisted individual.  You protected me
from him as best you could.  You couldn't have known that he was going to set
you up to leave right before Anreya was born, or that my grandfather would be the
one to take her from us.  I never thought that Billy was going to chase me all
around the globe afterwards when I left you.  You could have never predicted
those last attacks here in Port Charles.  And then when I struggled again with
depression when I was pregnant with Rebecca, you were the one who literally
jumped in and saved me from drowning."
  
    	"You give me too much credit," Stefan said softly.
  
    	Lisa hugged Stefan tightly, "I love you, Stefan Cassadine.  Nothing is going
to change that, not the past, present or the future.  For better or worse, you're
stuck with me."
  
    	Stefan leaned down and kissed her tenderly, "I could say the same thing to
you.  I love you."
  
    	"Good, now that we've got that straight," Lisa pulled away from Stefan and
smiled up at him, "Come help me eat all this food.  We can't let Mrs. Lansbury's
cooking go to waste, she'll have my hide."
  
*****

	Laura sighed as she stood in the kitchen and waited for the teapot to steam. 
Luke walked in behind her quietly, “Hi Angel.”

	“Hey,” she replied.  She turned around to face him, “Were you able to get
any sleep?”

	Luke shrugged, “Maybe a little, I guess.  Do you feel more rested?”

	“Yeah,” she said unconvincingly.  “I made you a pot of fresh coffee.”

	“Thanks.”  He moved around Laura and pulled a mug out of the cabinet. 
Absentmindedly, he took the coffee pot and poured himself a cup of coffee.  Laura
reached up and touched his face as he walked by her again.  Luke sat his coffee
down and pulled her into a silent embrace.  Laura closed her eyes and let her head
rest on Luke’s chest.

	As the teapot began to whistle neither one of them moved, as if they didn’t
even hear it.  They were each involved in their own thoughts and trying to draw
strength from each other.  After a couple of minutes, Luke said, “Darlin’, your
kettle’s steaming.”

	Laura pulled away slowly from Luke, “Thanks.”

	Luke picked up his coffee, sat down at the table and watched as Laura
made her tea.  She finally sat down across from him and smiled slightly.  They both
reached across the table and joined hands.  “This is my fault, Baby.  All the way
back to that night in the disco,” Luke said softly, his voice full of pain and remorse.

	Laura shook her head, “No Luke.  Please don’t let yourself think that. 
What happened to Lucky was an accident, pure and simple.  There’s nothing we
can do to change it now.”

	Tears began to flow freely down Luke’s face, his voice coming between
choked sobs, “I don’t know how to deal with this, Laura.  How do I face the fact
that I’ll never see my son again?”

	Laura stood up and crossed over to sit in the chair next to Luke and
wrapped her arms around him, “I don’t know, Luke.  But know this, I don’t blame
you for this.  I love you and together we’ll get through it.  Some way, some how,
we’ll get through it.  We have to.”

*****

	Nikolas and Emily stood outside Elizabeth’s hospital room door.  “I have
no idea what to say,” Nikolas admitted sadly to Emily.

	Emily leaned up and gave Nikolas a quick peck on the cheek, “Don’t worry
about saying something specific, we’ll just be there for her.”

	Nikolas hugged Emily tightly, “Thanks.”

	As they entered the room, Elizabeth’s eyes met theirs, “Hey,” she said
softly.

	“How are you feeling?” Emily asked as they walked over and each sat
down next to the bed.

	Elizabeth shrugged, “A bit better, I guess, all things considered.  They’re
letting me out of here tomorrow.”

	Nikolas smiled, “That’s great.”

	“Have either of you seen Luke or Laura?” Elizabeth asked.

	Nikolas shook his head, “No, not yet.  We’re going over there after we
leave here.  I promised Grandmother that we would take Lu for the day.”

	“Have they told Lu what happened?”

	“I don’t think so.  No one has given any indication of that.”

	“I think they should tell her,” Emily said quietly.  “The longer they wait,
the harder it’s going to be.”  Nikolas and Elizabeth just nodded silent agreement.

	For the longest time, the three friends just stood there in quiet
contemplation.  Each one of them lost in their own thoughts and feelings.

	Elizabeth thought about telling her two best friends what she felt about
Lucky, but decided against it.  She wasn’t sure that they would understand.  She
wasn’t sure she even understood but she just couldn’t shake the feeling that
somewhere, Lucky was alive and wanting to get back to her.

*****