Issue 1, No. 3 March-November
The Bigot
'Any Answers'
Hitler
Surrey
Deep down, let's face it, all of us hate foreigners. It's quite natural
when one lives in such a beautiful and perfect country as our own to hate
and loathe those greasy-haired snivelling toadies from Europe and beyond.
What worries me is that sometimes this hatred is so deep down that many
of us forget about it, and instead of hitting Frenchmen and letting Dagos'
tyres down, we are buying garlic-smelling French cars and eating filthy
chunks of Wop dough in stinking Pizza parlours. Now I'm not saying that
we should go out and burn down the nearest Eye-tie, Chink, Froggie or Pakki
restaurant - I think the army should be doing that - but if we are going
to keep this lovely country of ours beautiful, clean and deeply religious,
we must remember that the Young Bigots Club is only a phone call away.
They will come round at a moment's notice and tread on packets of Gauloises
and throw Grundig equipment down the lavatory. Remember, tolerance is a
great British virtue - let's not waste it on Yids, Polacks, Wops, Krauts
and Arabs.
Col Sir Harry McWhirter
Chairman, The Bloody Bigots Club 1937-99
News from our branches:
ASCOT: a very successful Young Bigots' Evening was held in the
back room of the Duck and Prime Minister. A letter of abuse was sent to
Mr. Pompidou, and a local hairdresser was burned.
The CHELTEHAM branch of the Young Wives' Prejudice Club had a very
successful outing to the Knorr-Swiss Factory. They did over £4,000-worth
of damage.
ESHER Town Hall was packed last Thursday for an illustrated talk
by our local organiser, Mrs. Ursula Forbes-Hitler on 'Putting the Boot
in on Wops', and our FRINTON branch have collected over 6,000 dead dogs
for our Bulgarian Food Hampers. Well done.
HOLIDAYS
If you must go to the continent, here are some of the places to
visit:
The British Embassy, 35 rue du Faubourg St. Honore, PARIS 8e
The British Embassy, Friedrich Ebert Allee 77, BONN
The British Embassy, Via Conte Rosso 25, ROME
The British Consulate, Herengracht 460, AMSTERDAM
The British Chamber of Commerce, Mesrytiyet Caddessi, Tepbasi Beyoghi,
ISTANBUL
Some useful terms of abuse to help you get the worst out of the
countries you visit:
ITALIANS etc: Greaseballs. Dagos. Wops. Candles. Spaghetti-eaters.
Ice-cream salesmen. Eye-ties.
EGYPTIANS: Gippos. Yellowbellies, Anti-Yids, Sphinctas
FRENCH: Froggies. Bloody French. (NB The French are very easily
insulted by the British. Almost anything will do.)
GERMANS: Krauts. Boche. Sausage-eaters. Square-heads. (NB The Germans
are an appallingly insensitive nation and therefore extremely hard to insult.
Try setting fire to them or calling their Mercedes Volkswagens.)
COLOURED PEOPLE: Best not to even talk to them.
