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ER
"The British Are Coming"
Act Four
EXAM ROOM 4
[There's a five year old boy and his mother in the room. The boy is sitting on his mother's lap, and
she's trying to keep him entertained with a book. But they've been waiting for a long time, and the
child his restless. Mark enters:]
MARK: Hi, I'm Dr Greene.
JEAN: [looking up from the book]: At last!
MARK: I'm sorry you've had to wait, Mrs...?
JEAN: Ms. Brodie.
MARK: Okay, Ms Brodie, let's take a look at your son. What's his name?
JEAN: James.
MARK [to the boy]: Hi James. I hear you've got something stuck in your nose.
Is that right?
JAMES: [nods shyly, leaning back into his mother]
JEAN [smiles down at her son, and strokes his head reassuringly. Looking up,
she addresses Mark]: He was sticking Sugar Puffs on his lip, to make a
moustache like his Dad. Then he sniffed, and up they went.
MARK: Sugar Puffs?
JEAN: Right up there. I looked with a flashlight, but I didn't want to go poking
about and hurt him.
MARK: No. Of course not. [Resigning himself] Right, let's take a look. [He
finds a small flashlight] Okay James, I'm just going to take a look in your nose.
Is that okay?
JAMES [looks nervously at his mother].
JEAN: It's all right sweetheart. Just tip your head back for the doctor [gently she
pushes his chin back].
MARK [crouches down in front of the child, shining the flashlight up his nose.
He strains to see]: A-ha. Yep, it looks like there's a couple up here.
[He angles the light differently, and as he does so, it shines into the boy's eyes. The light makes him
sneeze - ATCHOO - right into Mark's face, Sugar Puffs and all].
MARK [sits down suddenly, in surprise, dropping the light]: Well, that solved
that!
JEAN: Oh, I'm so sorry doctor! [She turns to her son] Why couldn't you have
done that two hours ago, James?
MARK [gets to his feet, and wipes at his face and glasses]: That's all right Ms
Brodie. [He smiles at James] That was quite a sneeze! I'm just going to risk one
more look to make sure it's done the trick. [Crouching down, Mark retrieves the
flashlight from the floor, and peers into James' nose again.] All clear!
JEAN [is embarrassed]: I hope I haven't wasted you're time doctor?
MARK: No problem. [He gets to his feet and turns to James] And you, Sugar
Puffs straight into the mouth next time, right?
[James nods shyly.]
MARK: Good. I don't want you back tomorrow with them in your ears or
something.
[James smiles, and Mark winks at him.]
JEAN: Thanks Doctor.
MARK: Sure.
[Doug enters, holding the boy's chart. Mark turns, still irritated with Doug, but hiding it in front of
the patients.]
DOUG: Carol asked me to drop this in.
MARK: Thank you Dr Ross. [Taking the chart] Actually, we're just done.
DOUG: Okay [he starts to leave the room}
MARK: Hold on. [He smiles a goodbye at the Brodies, and follows Doug out
of the room.] So, did you discharge the Brooks kids?
DOUG: Yep.
MARK: And you told the father the truth?
DOUG [is silent for a while, staring down at his shoes. At last he looks up]: No,
I didn't Mark.
MARK: Tell me you're joking.
[Doug meets the challenge in Mark's eyes, but says nothing.]
MARK [is angry]: I told you to tell him, Doug. You're not getting away with
this. [He turns on his heel and stalks toward the admissions desk]
ADMISSIONS DESK
Jerry is there, modelling a Stars and Stripes waistcoat.
MARK: Jerry. Have the Brooks kids left yet?
JERRY: Who?
MARK: German measles? Guy fighting the Coke machine?
JERRY: Oh, them. [He frowns] Isn't that them? [He nods towards the stairs,
where the family are about to leave the ER]
MARK [doesn't answer, but runs over to the Brooks family]: Mr Brooks!
[Brooks turns when he hears his name called.] Mr Brooks, could I talk to you
for a moment?
BROOKS: What about? We're just leaving.
MARK: I know. I just want to tell you something that I think you should know.
BROOKS: What do you mean? About the kids?
MARK [looks down at the two children. They are watching him with pleading
eyes. Mark begins to falter]: Ah, yes. That's right...
BROOKS: Dr Ross said they were fine.
MARK: Yes. Yes they are. But he didn't tell you everything. I just think you
should know that...[he glances down at them again. Joanne mouths "Please
don't" at him, Sam's hand slips into his sister's. Mark's words stumble to a
standstill. He looks back towards Mr Brooks]
BROOKS: Well? What's the problem?
MARK: I think you should know that...[his eyes flick backwards and forwards
between the children and their father as he speaks]...that your kids...are...great.
You have great kids Mr Brooks, and they deserve to be happy. And listened to.
BROOKS [looks like he suspects Mark of being a little crazy]: That's it?
MARK [takes a deep breath]: Yes, that was all.
BROOKS: Well, thanks doctor, it's kind of you to say so. [He pauses
awkwardly. Mark feels like an idiot, and Brooks doesn't understand what's
going on. After a long few moments he speaks] Well, we'll be off then. C'mon
kids.
[Brooks turns and heads up the stairs, holding his wife's arm. Joanne and Sam wait a moment
before they follow.]
JOANNE: Thanks for not telling.
MARK: You should tell your Dad how you feel.
JOANNE: Why? He doesn't care. Otherwise he wouldn't have left, would he?
BROOKS [calls down to them from halfway up the stairs]: Joanne, Sam, come
on! I've already spent a fortune in parking.
[The two children turn immediately and trot up the stairs after their father. Mark watches them go,
disturbed by Joanne's words, and worrying about Rachel.]
ADMISSIONS DESK
[Lucy steps out of the lift, back from taking Rebecca up to the OR. She wonders over to the
admissions desk to fill out the paper work. Carol is also working there, as is Jerry, still wearing his
festive waistcoat]
LUCY [talking to Carol]: Can I ask you something?
CAROL [looking up from her work]: Sure.
LUCY: I just had this girl who'd been told that some doctors would refuse to
treat her if they knew she'd taken the Morning After Pill.
CAROL [shrugs]: Happens sometimes.
LUCY: Really? Doctor's refuse to treat women who've taken it?
CAROL: Well, not here they don't. But some places. If the doctor has strong
opinions...
LUCY [shaking her head]: That's outrageous. How can they still be allowed to
practice?
CAROL: They're not breaking any laws.
LUCY: I'm amazed. I'm really amazed.
[Mark walks past the desk, deep in thought, and disappears into the lounge. Doug hurries after him
a few moments later, his face a thunderhead. Lucy watches them in surprise, and looks over at
Carol with a question in her eyes.]
CAROL: They're friends. Most of the time. But occasionally things get a bit
tense. They'll be okay.
LUCY: Right. [She pauses] Mark seems nice.
CAROL [looks up again]: Yes, he's great. [Turning back to her work she
adopts a casual tone: she's trying to put Lucy on her guard] But he's suffering
from a broken heart right now.
LUCY: Oh?
CAROL: Susan Lewis. The doctor you're replacing? Well, they had this kind of
thing going.
LUCY: I see.
CAROL: But it never actually got going, if you see what I mean.
LUCY [understanding and smiling]: Ooh. Unrequited love? The worst kind!
Very dangerous.
CAROL [smiles too, warming to Lucy]: He should really have a warning sign
round his neck - DANGER! Stay clear for at least twelve months!
[They both laugh.]
DOCTOR'S LOUNGE
[Mark is sitting at the table, talking on the telephone. He deliberately has his back to Doug who is
getting ready to leave.]
MARK: ...and I thought we could go see the fireworks together. [He listens, his
brow creasing into a frown] Well, I'm sure they wont mind if you go with me
instead...Oh I see, a sleep-over.[He looks unhappy, but hides it in his voice]
No, that sounds like fun...No, no I don't mind. You have fun - and don't stay up
too late!...Okay, I'll see you soon sweetheart. I love you....Okay, 'by.
[He hangs up the phone with an unhappy sigh. Still ignoring Doug, he turns to sign-off a pile of files
that are stacked next to him. The stony silence in the room is thick enough to taste. Eventually Doug
speaks.]
DOUG: So, you told Brooks the truth then?
MARK [purses his lips, still working on the files, and not looking up]: No. I
didn't.
DOUG [is surprised, and turns to look at Mark]: Why not?
MARK [feeling foolish, but still angry]: Joanne asked me not to. I...[he sighs
and looks up] I don't know if I was right. If those kids don't tell their father how
they feel, how will he know?
DOUG: It's up to them to tell him, Mark. You're a doctor, remember? Not a
social worker.
MARK [cringing slightly]: I really said that, didn't I?
DOUG: Forget it. I'll just add it to your list of pompous comments.
MARK [chagrined, but slightly offended]:Pompous? Thanks.
DOUG [pulls up a chair and joins Mark at the table]: Don't worry about it. My
list of crass and insensitive comments is much longer. [He pauses] I didn't mean
what I said about absent fathers.
MARK: Yes you did.
DOUG: Well, maybe. But I was talking about MY father, as you well know. I'm
sure YOU are a great father to Rachel.
MARK: Am I? If I was so great, I'd be living with her, wouldn't I?
DOUG [looking earnestly at Mark]: It wasn't your fault.
MARK: Some of it was. I can't blame Jenn for everything.
DOUG [gets to his feet]: There's no point in looking back Mark. You've still got
the rest of your life to be a good father.
MARK [looks up at Doug]: You know, sometimes you almost sound smart.
DOUG: I do my best. [He heads for the door] Carol said you aren't coming
tonight?
MARK: Coming where?
DOUG: To the fireworks.
MARK: Oh. Are you going?
DOUG: Yeah, with Carol.
MARK [considers]: I don't know...
DOUG: Come on! It'll do you good.
MARK: Well, I might see you there.
DOUG: Make sure you do.
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