If you're interested in writing fanfiction, contact me at: sammy3@ix.netcom.com
DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!!!
All characters, names, and settings are property of Warner Bros. They are used here for fun and were not used in anyway to receive profit.
NOTES
I hope you enjoyed this little story. However, I do apologise for any
discrepancies which may be included, they are purely unintentional. I must also
apologise for any little Englishisms, as I have tried to make the language as
American as possible but I am from the UK and this may be apparent by any
turns of phrase I have used. Finally, a bit about myself. I am a 15-year-old
massive ER fan from England, and I would really appreciate any comments
about my story. I can be e-mailed at: clivelindemann@msn.com
E.R.
"Union Station: What Should've Happened
Part One
As the train pulled out of the station Mark couldn't help but replay in his mind
all the moments he had Susan had ever shared, all those words they'd ever said
to each other, all the good times they'd had together. Hadn't she felt something
too? Weren't those moments even at all special to her? He dragged himself back
up the staircase, trudging along that same way that he'd come just five minutes
ago; so full of hopes for the future and of a "new" life with Susan. Instead, she
was headed off to Phoenix for her own "new" life, where she would, no doubt,
forget about him and start afresh. Come on Mark, he thought, fighting back the
tears which pricked at his eyes, she's gonna be happy, with little Suzie and
Chloe. Isn't that what you want for her? Isn't that what she deserves? Stop
being selfish and thinking about what you want, and think about what a great life
she's gonna have, and how happy she's gonna be when she can see Baby Suzie
grow up. But Mark's heart was telling him, "Run, go after the damn train, do
whatever you've got to do, but don't leave it like this. This is the woman you
love here!" Yeah, but what good would that do? He'd just hear her tell him that
her life was in Phoenix now, that she was sorry but it wasn't meant to be, and
that he'd always be her best friend. Friends are the best things to be, he told
himself, we couldn't be anything else, that's not what she wants.
The day was warm, but he felt shivery and chilled, as he unwillingly walked
back home. Home, what was home? A place full of memories of Susan; for
Christ's sake, she had lived there for God knows how many years. A place
where they had eaten pizza together, where she had hugged him, where he hadn't
said a goddamn thing to her about how he felt. Why hadn't he said anything?
Didn't best friends have no secrets from each other? Hadn't she been totally
honest with him about leaving Chicago? But he'd cheated her - all the time she'd
looked on him as a loyal friend, he'd been harbouring thoughts and feelings
about her, and wanting to be more than just friends. And then he'd let it all come
out, he'd told her everything. And he'd pleaded with her to stay, while she was
just trying to leave with their friendship intact. And then she'd kissed him; and
he had felt like all the emotions and feelings he had tried to suppress had come
to the surface and been transformed into three seconds of pure ecstasy. And
then she was gone.
But he was left in Chicago with nothing but an empty apartment and the thought of an unhappy night drowning his sorrows in beer. It was just that which prompted him to stop by at Finch's bar, after he had drifted around the streets for a while, as he just couldn't face going back there. He wandered in to see a bar full of cosy couples; he nearly walked straight back out again, but he heard a shout of, "Hey, Mark! Where are you off to in such a hurry?" He turned swiftly round on his heels to see Doug Ross standing there behind him. Great, the last person he wanted to see. He was his best friend, but he knew everything about him and Susan, and once he knew about what happened at the station.... Well, Susan had once called him "Dr. Intercom", which just about said it all.
"So, c'mon, let's grab a few beers and tell me all about it", he said, with
that cheeky grin, which Mark really didn't want to see at that particular
moment in time.
"So, did you tell her how you felt?", Doug inquired.
"Look, Doug, I really don't want to talk about it, OK? She left, it's fairly self-explanatory", Mark retorted, giving him a frosty glare.
"Hey Mark, I'm really sorry about that, really I am, but there's no point spending the rest of your life thinking about might-have-beens; you gotta get on with living it", Doug said, trying to comfort him in the only way he knew how.
"Thanks for the advice, but I think I just want to have a couple of beers and go home - I think I'll leave the optimism and life-loving to another day, alright?" said Mark.
"If that's what you want, sure", said Doug, inwardly thinking that Mark was seriously cut-up about Susan. So, as the evening progressed, the "couple of beers" became five, then six, then seven, until both Doug and Mark were completely drunk; Doug was in the corner with some blonde, and a striking brunette was draped over Mark's shoulder as they swayed to-and-fro, dancing slowly to the music. He felt the soft curves of her body press up against him, and the memory and the feel of Susan pressed up against him when they were dancing suddenly seemed to flash into his mind. He drew away from the girl in horror.
"What the hell's gotten into you?" she demanded angrily.
"I, I'm sorry", he said, stumbling back over a barstool, slurring his words. "I
just, I mean, I just shouldn't be here", he said, as he ran out of the bar.
The cold night air stung his face as it rushed against him in a huge gust, bringing him back to the here and now. He sat down on the sidewalk just down the road, and saw Doug bundle the blonde into a cab, he was hoping to avoid him. But instead of joining her, Doug surprised Mark by coming over and sitting down next to him.
"What made you leave in such a hurry? She was all over you buddy - must have
been a good reason to make you want to leave her, huh?" said Doug.
"What am I doing here, Doug? I mean, I'm here in Chicago dancing with some girl, while Susan's in Phoenix - is this really how it's meant to be? Is this it? Well, spending different nights with different women may be your style but it isn't mine!" returned Mark abruptly.
"Mark, go home. You're tired, you're drunk and you'll feel a hell of a lot better in the morning, I promise you." said Doug, diplomatically ignoring this slur on his own lifestyle. "Come on, let's go back to your place, and we'll try and sober you up a little", said Doug, hailing a cab as he spoke to him. Mark didn't have the energy or the inclination to disagree; he was exhausted, and he both looked and felt a complete wreck. Before he realised it, they were back at what he had always considered "Susan's" apartment, yet this place was his home now. This place, so full of memories, so full of little reminders of Susan - what had he been thinking when he agreed to take on the lease? How could he ever get over her if he was always being reminded of her?
"Thanks Doug, but I'll be OK now. You can head on home now - might even be able to catch up that blonde if you're lucky, ha ha", said Mark, who, grateful to Doug though he was, just wanted to be by himself.
"You sure? I mean, don't want you going doing anything stupid like killing yourself or anything, do I?" said Doug, who was genuinely concerned about his friend; it wasn't like him to get so drunk.
"I'll see you tomorrow," said Mark.
"Later," called Doug, who was already heading down the hallway, as Mark turned back into the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
He took a shower, his whole body seemed to ache and his head pounded. As he went to sit down in front of the TV, he tossed aside the scrubs that were on the chair and threw them onto the floor. As he did so, a crumpled piece of paper fluttered out of the pocket, and, puzzled, Mark picked it up. Of course! It was the note Susan had left for him! He read it silently:
Dear Mark,
By the time you read this I'll be on my way to Phoenix. I just couldn't leave
without saying a goodbye. I'll really miss you - best friends like you don't come
along that often and when they do, it's hard to leave them behind. But I really
hope that just because we're apart, it doesn't mean we can't remain friends. I'll
write you and call you; you'd better do the same! When I'm settled, you should
come visit me, and I know little Suzie will love to see you. Look after the
apartment, and, most important of all, look after yourself. I'll miss all of you
guys at the hospital,
All my love,
Susan
For the first time since she'd left, he felt as though what had happened was for
the best, because Susan would finally be really happy - he'd get over her. After
all, he'd got over Jenn, hadn't he? And he and Jenn had actually been something,
whereas he and Susan and never even been together; their romance was purely
wishful thinking wasn't it? But then the realisation came flooding back through
his body in a wave of pain; it hurt so badly because he knew how great they
could have been. He knew how perfect they were for each other, and how at
least he and Jenn had had a chance together; he and Susan had never had that
chance.