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E.R.
Union Station: Coming Home
By: Emma Day
Part Six
Susan leaned back against the wall and tried to swallow the
lump that rose in her throat. She watched them dance, her
head on his chest, his eyes closed. It was over. She had
lost him. It was too hard to watch, yet she could hardly tear
her eyes away.
"Susan?" Carol's voice reached her through the music. "Are
you Ok, Carter said he saw you crying."
"What?" she heard the snap in her voice, and cringed. "Sorry,
Carol. I guess I'm just a bit..." her eyes strayed back to
Mark and Bernie, and Carol followed her gaze.
"I don't think they're that serious," Carol offered.
Susan shook her head. "He's been seeing her since I left."
"What?" Carol raised a speculative eyebrow. "I don't think
so."
"He just told me."
"Susan," Carol said, turning to face her. "I wont deny that
Mark's dated quite a lot in the last few months, but I've
never seen Bernadette Conley before. And neither's Doug."
Susan frowned. "You know how reserved Mark is. If it was
serious, he would want to keep it quiet."
Carol shrugged. "Maybe."
"He wouldn't lie to me."
"If you say so."
The rest of the evening lasted forever. She didn't speak to
Mark again, and he seemed as eager to avoid her as she was to
avoid him. Her heart sank into her belly, and it was all she
could do to stay in the room. Occasionally she thought he
looked at her, but when she tried to catch his eye, his gaze
always seemed to be slipping away from her.
At last people started to leave. The crowd thinned a little,
and the music mellowed. With relief, Susan headed for the
bedroom to fetch her jacket. Just as she reached the door,
Mark and Bernie came out. He was helping her on with her
coat. There was no avoiding it. She had to talk to them.
"You're leaving then?" she asked.
"Yeah, that's why we're putting on our coats," Bernie said,
with a drunken giggle.
Mark looked embarrassed. "Well, it was good to see you again,
Susan," he said, not quite looking at her.
"You too," she replied. GOD THIS IS AWKWARD. She tried to
smile. Eight months ago, they'd have parted with a friendly
hug. Not knowing what else to do, she stuck out her hand.
Mark shook it with a look of disbelief on his face. For a
moment their eyes met, and she thought she saw in his a
reflection of her own sorrow. But then he looked away, and
dropped her hand. He held Bernie's instead. "Goodbye Susan,"
he said in a quiet voice, and they turned and walked away.
She thought her heart would break. Her stomach screwed itself
into a knot, and tears flooded her eyes. She knew, with a
dreadful certainty, that she would never see him again.
Hardly aware of what she did, she fetched her jacket. Somehow
she thanked Carol for the party, resisted the offered lift to
her hotel, and made it out of the front door. The night was
mild, and she started walking. Her thoughts were too deranged
for anything else.
Cars passed her, people pushed by, laughing and talking. None
of it was part of her world. She thought back to their
parting eight months earlier. What a contrast it provided!
She shook her head in angry disbelief. STAY. I LOVE YOU.
WE'RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. She could hear his voice too
clearly, see the look on his face. WHY DID I DO IT? she
wondered to herself. HOW COULD I HAVE GOTTEN ON THAT TRAIN?
And now it was too late. How different their recent parting
had been - a cold handshake. Mark had walked away from her,
hand in hand with another woman.
She frowned at the thought. They had probably gone back to
his - HER - apartment to....She refused to think about that!
Yet, she couldn't help it. HER apartment! The very idea made
her stomach twist with jealousy. SHE'S PROBABLY MOVED IN
ALREADY, she realised. PLAYING HAPPY FAMILIES IN MY
APARTMENT! Anger made her walk faster, her breath coming
rapidly. Suddenly she stopped dead. Carol had said she'd
never seen Bernie (curse the woman) before. Surely, if they
were living together, he would have mentioned her? Hope,
slight but determined, rose in her heart. Perhaps they
weren't THAT serious? Suddenly she had to know. For good or
ill, she had to know the truth. She started walking, but this
time in a new direction.