Oliver Reed's tv appearances...from REEDing the web

MAKING GUEST SHOT SPOTS
Starting out in the 1960s with bits in British TV series.
The Saint in episode: "The King of the Beggars" (episode # 2.9) 1962
Sophia:(Saint episode) 1964
R3 (series 2) 1964
It's Dark Outside 1964)

RUSSELL TO THE RESCUE
Ken Russell moves Reed to lead part in artist biopics (Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Henri Douanier Roussea,Claude Debussy) and more.
Prisoner of Honor 1991
Dante's Inferno 1967
Always on Sunday (narrator) 1965
The Debussy Film 1963

THE MAXI MINI SERIES
Reed has mini parts in the mini series.
Return to Lonesome Dove 1993
Christopher Columbus 1985

PUT A LITTLE ENGLISH ON IT
With a low motion picture period in the 1990s, Reed picks a few good English made-for-TV flicks.
A Ghost in Monte Carlo 1990
Treasure Island 1990
The Lady and the Highwayman 1989
Black Arrow 1985

EUROPEAN OPENINGS
These made-for-TV movies offer international appeal and little else.
Jeremiah 1998
Tunnelgangster von Berlin, Die 1995

CLOWNING AROUND
America's 3-ring circus needs a net.
Reed was scheduled to appear in the Second Annual Circus of the Stars on CBS in the 1970s but his magic act "disappeared" from the show when the footage was cut due to his flubbed lines.

TALK ABOUT TALK SHOWS!
Heeeeeere's Ollie...
The first time Reed appeared on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson , he made a splash. Or rather, Shelly Winters did when she poured her drink over Ollie's head because of the negative comments he made about women. However, he would be a guest on a later show, showing off his good behavior.

I wish I were Irish...
When Reed was on The Merv Griffin Show in the 1970s, his host told a Peter O'Toole anecdote to illustrate how temperamental English actors could be. Reed listened patiently for the story to end, wherein he corrected Griffin, explaining that Peter O'Toole is Irish, not English.

Stupid human tricks...
I have transcribed most of Reed's infamous performance on Late Night with David Letterman in the 1980s. It began inauspiciously when Letterman stood to shake hands but Reed responded by pulling Letterman forward so he would lose his footing, to which Letterman replied, "That's cute." Once Reed took his seat, he started speaking in an American tough guy accent, pointing at the camera, saying he was after Sly Stallone. I'm not sure of the exact words that followed, but they started to talk about Lee Marvin, and that's when my tape comes in...

OR: He's one of the few actors I admire very much. Along with, how much time do you got?

DL: We have all the time you want.

OR: Rock Hudson, Rod Steiger, uh Lee Marvin, Rod Steiger, Lee, uh (snapping his fingers) Marvin.

DL: Now, uh, so you and Lee Marvin went drinking. And you had a contest to see who could drink the most.

OR: Ya, first off, your researcher was told already that I don't want to talk about drink, understand? So let's cool that one. Let's get on another subject. I love trees and boats.

DL: So, it's true that you and Lee Marvin had a tree climbing contest?

OR:That's right. And we got to the top of this great fir tree. It was in the redwoods and a couple of pipers were over there. Can I tell you how they go? They put there, over here and (he puts his finger on his nose and imitates bagpipes) And then Lee Marvin came up, climbed this big fir tree. And I got into the boat at the top of the tree and sailed away.

DL: Wait a minute. Do you still drink? And I'll get off this in just a minute. I just want to, I mean, it's behind you, you don't drink anymore. So what we're trying to do is recall a colorful anecdote from your past.

OR: (back in American tough guy voice) Ya, so what you got to do man, is understand I'm taking a high quantity, high porcelain diet. I drink a lot of cups, coffee cups. I eat a lot of plates. And then leave the hashbrowns and everything aside. And I eat the plates so that's why I am (adjusts his tie and looks into the camera) after you Sly.

DL: (looking into the audience) Is there anybody up there who would like to host the show tonight? (pauses for laugh to die down) Tell me about where you live now?

OR: I live in Guernsey.

DL: Where is Guernsey?

OR: Guernsey is one of the Channel Islands, which is a little set of islands in between France and England. Near the "nathe caste" of paste.

DL: The north coast of?

OR: Paste.

DL: And what is life there like?

OR: (replies in German)

DL: So, so you stopped drinking because you were afraid of you might be doing permanent damage to your nervous system, I guess. Uh.

OR: I thought this was the Johnny Carson show. I was going to be intellectual. But as I said, I live there because I wanted to become a fisherman.

DL: You wanted to become a fisherman? Okay, we'll get to that in just a second. (pause) You would like to turn my lights out, wouldn't you?

OR: No sir.

DL: Boom! And I'm gone. Okay, (getting ready to pause for commercial break). Did you see this (Letterman shows off a giant Swiss army knife prop that is focused on, as they break, but Reed starts shouting and Letterman says with fear) Oh brother, we'll be right back.

Apparently, the two made up during the commercial break and reappeared more friendly to one another. As they returned to the air, there was an accidental noise made from a microphone and Reed, jokingly asked if it was him. Then Letterman joked that it was his gas. To that Reed responds...

OR: Hang on, I've got some digests (he reaches into his pocket and hands Letterman the tablets).

DL: Oh great, thank you very much.

OR: That wasn't rehearsed.

DL: Ya. Have you been taking these? (Reed nods yes) Well then, I'll wait until a little later. Um anyway, so you were being a fisherman?

OR: Ya, I came into a fisherman's village once. And, uh, they said to me, what you gotta, you a fisherman boy? Are you a fisherman? So I thought I've got to wear a boat in order to wear the hats on my head. And wear the boots in my ears.

DL: You have a boat too?

OR: No. I'm lying about the wench.

DL: I see. I see. Well now we're really getting...

OR: (interrupts) Yes, I have a boat and it has a wench. And I'm a fisherman. And I live over there. And it's wonderful. And I drank 106 pints. And I screwed Lee Marvin at drinking. And I. And we got that out. And that's your research. And jolly good (he angrily claps). Are you going to be bright now?

DL: No, I I, no, no.

OR: I thought we were going to talk about movies this stretch.

DL: You want to talk about movies?

OR: I want to talk about Castaway.

DL: But now you're pissed off, right?

OR: No, I'm off.

DL: Okay, so tell me about Castaway. You know the woman who wrote the book was actually here. The woman who lived the story was here. (long pause, Reed says nothing) And at the time, I thought it would make a darn good movie. How did it, did it turn out okay?

OR: Ya well that's for everybody that goes to see the movie to judge for themselves. A lot of people make the mistake of um messing up Lucy Erwin, who played

DL: She was the Amanda Donahoe...

OR: That's right. She played Lucy Erwin. And Amanda Donahoe played the part. And myself, Gerald Kingson. A lot of people mix us up, especially women's libbers. I can't talk for myself. I thought it was, uh, she's got a great body.

DL: Uh huh. And briefly the story is, a gentleman wants to..

OR: No, he's o gentleman.

DL: Alright, a guy wants to retire to an island. I guess in the South Pacific, off the coast of Australia or New Zealand, or something, roughly?

OR: Ya, ya.

DL: And he runs an ad for a female companion. Isn't that the story?

OR: Thank you for filling me in.

DL: I wasn't filling you in. Uh, I was trying to educate the.. (starts to say audience but Reed cuts him off)

OR: Oh, it didn't hurt.

DL: Well, considering your condition, maybe it wouldn't hurt.

(At this point, Reed pushed his nose so it looks flat like David Letterman's)

OR: Tell me what my condition's about then?

DL: No, it's just a joke.

OR:: No, what's my condition? C'mon.

DL: No. No, it's just a joke.

OR: Oh, a joke is it?

DL: Only a joke. And not much of a joke, I'll grant you that. Believe me, I didn't even think it was (he breaks off and looks to his band leader Paul Shaffer), Paul, get over here. (Shaffer puts his hands in the air to show he is passive. Reed takes off his glasses and stares down Letterman). No, no, c'mon no, uh. We have soda and snacks in the green room. And you can have what you want.

OR: I thought they were there.

DL: Alright, so the movie comes out soon. Briefly, shortly, soon?

OR: Yes, it comes out in New York in , uh. I've got to say all these things and I'm sure that I'm right. It comes out in the beginning of September in New York. And the rest of America, in the end of September. (pause) Can I thank you for being so erudite.

DL: Thank you very much, I appreciate your patience here.