Farts

0-4 -- The Woofer Fart (all bark, no bite)
5-9 -- The "Bad Dog" Fart (a dog fart after he eats too much cheese)
10-14 -- The "Pull Cord" Fart (sounds like someone pulling the cord on a lawnmower; smells like the big fat unwashed guy pulling the cord)
15-19 -- The S.B.D. Fart (Silent But Deadly)
All 20 -- The Dreaded "It felt like a fart, but it was...you know" Fart

Things you won't see on a McDonald's menu

0-4 -- McLung Butter
5-9 -- McColon Bits
10-14 -- McLigament on a Stick
15-19 -- McRoad Pizza
All 20 -- Double McProstate with cheese

The worst places to get a papercut

0-4 -- Between the toes.
5-9 -- Under the nail of your thumb.
10-14 -- Corner of your mouth.
15-19 -- The string under your toungue.
All 20 -- Smack dab in the middle of your eye.

Great Snack Treats

0-4 -- Box of raisins, but all the raisins have tiny little wings and legs.
5-9 -- Full specimen jar (with no lid).
10-14 -- Leaky full colostomy bag.
15-19 -- An open mouth kiss from Whoopi Goldberg while she's chewing a mouthful of beer nuts.
All 20 -- Black licorice (nobody likes this crap).

How smart you are

0-4 -- P.U.
5-9 -- Novice! Novice!
10-14 -- Better, but nothing to write Mike Judge about.
15-19 -- Hold your head high and stand proud: you're second best.
All 20 -- Holy Kalamazoo, a perfect 20. Sell your television and buy a social life.

How macho you are (en espanol).

0-4 -- Tu no eres muy macho.
5-9 -- Tu eres macho, como Herve Villachaise (Quien es muy muerto).
10-14 -- Tu eres macho, como Ricardo Montalban.
15-19 -- Tu eres mucho macho, como Wesley Snipes.
All 20 -- !Caramba! !!!Tu eres muy, muy macho!!!

Memorable moments from Pulp Fiction

0-4 -- The adrenaline shot (ouch).
5-9 -- Marcellus saying, "I'm gonna get medieval on yo' ass!"
10-14 -- Vincent turning to talk to Marvin in the back seat.
15-19 -- The gimp.
All 20 -- The gimp, pointing and giggling.

Advice for those of you in the big house

0-4 -- Don't hang out with anyone named Tiny.
5-9 -- If the soap hits the ground, let it lie.
10-14 -- Get a huge Rita Hayworth poster (hey, it worked for Tim Robbins).
15-19 -- Don't go for chow when Dahmer's workin' the grill.
All 2 -- If your cellmate approaches you to play house, and you get a choice, be the daddy.

That was kind of disgusting 1