THE TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE
We got your Robot Wars RIGHT here.

Starring the voices of Judd Nelson, Eric Idle, Leonard Nimoy, Robert Stack, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Lionel Stander and Orson Welles. Directed by Nelson Shin, 1986.

Sixteen years later, here I am doing a review of the movie that, in my youth, I went absolutely gonzo for like it was hiqh-quality Brazilian heroin: THE TRANSFORMERS - THE MOVIE. An animated feature that had only a short-lived run at the box office, the movie was of course based on the 80's cartoon show of the same name (itself based on the Hasbro toy line).

The Transformers was an action-oriented cartoon about a race of robotic warriors from a mechanical planet, Cybertron. Having evolved the ability to transform their bodies into various contraptions (in the early days mainly cars, jet planes, and the like), the Transformers consisted of two distinct 'races'...the Autobots (the good guys) and Decepticons (bad). With me so far? Anyways, a planetwide energy crisis led the 'Formers to embark on a dangerous expedition that led to a contigent of both sides crash landing on Earth. Their bodies were adapted to transform into terrestrial forms, and the robotic combatants resumed their hostilities on Earth. Thanks, guys. Keep it in your own yard next time.

The movie begins in the year 2005, a good twenty years ahead of the then-present time. It seems the Decepticons, under the command of their longtime leader Megatron (a gravelly voiced villain who transforms into a hand pistol) have managed to return to and conquer Cybertron. The Autobots, under the stalwart leadership of Optimus Prime (a characteristically noble and brave hero whose transformed form was a semi), have been forced into hiding on the twin moons of Cybertron, as well as a grand advanced habitat on Earth predictably called Autobot City. A routine Autobot shuttle run to Earth is promptly hijacked and boarded by a Decepticon raiding party, leading to the movie's first (of many) major action sequences, a massive assault on the fortess-like Autobot City.

The attack is eventually repulsed at a tragic cost, as Optimus Prime himself falls in combat. Choosing his successor (the Robert Stack voiced Ultra Magnus), Prime bequeathes to him the legendary Autobot matrix of leadership...a strange cystalline bit of hardware prophesied to 'light their darkest hour'.

Another major plotline involves a sort of sentient, malevolent planet-sized creature called Unicron, a self-propelling mechanical sphere that literally eats planets as it travels. This monstrosity (given voice by the legendary Orson Welles, in what may have been his final performance for a motion picture...he actually died before finishing and Leonard Nimoy does some of the Unicron work to cover) devours the aforementioned Cybertronian moons, and reforges Megatron into the more powerful Galvatron (Leonard Nimoy's assigned role), sending him back to Earth to destroy the matrix.

The Autobots flee with Galvatron giving chase, and eventually they get split up, travelling to several fantastic locales and naturally, getting into astonishingly violent battles. Most of the original characters from the series have been killed off or left behind by this point, the movie instead focusing on new characters (presumably so they woud have something new to sell...this IS based on a toy line, after all) like the brash Hot Rod (Judd Nelson making a little extra spending money) and others, like Magnus and Galvatron. The notable exceptions are the Dinobots (brutish and dim Autobots specially built to transform into...guess what...dinosaurs) and Perceptor (an odd choice...a brainy Autobot with a penchant for overly verbose exposition, and the chick-magnet ability of transforming into an oversized microscope, Perceptor never struck me as a particularly popular character), but for the most part fans of the original characters must content themselves with the early action, though there are some wonderful scenes in those parts that should satisfy any botfan. The first appearance of the multi-robotic Devastator is almost frightening in the way it's played, and the 'battle of the cassettes' is a stand up and cheer moment.

This is a terrifically violent movie, actually surprising in it's intensity at times. After seasons of ineffectual back-and-forth cartoon combat, suddenly these tv-friendly characters are being blown apart and dropping like flies. Some of the deaths are so subtle you need to freeze frame to find them all. It took me almost ten viewings to finally notice the corpse of poor old Wheeljack. This is NOT a movie for smaller children, even going so far as to include a solitary, but highly noticeable profanity (uttered, as it would happen, by one of the movie's two human characters).

The animation is generally top-notch, though stronger in some areas than others. Most impressive is the work on the backgrounds, which is continually intricate and brilliantly rendered. No problems on the voice work front...there are none that don't seem quite appropriate and enjoyable, the possible exception being a spritely and high-pitched character Wheelie, whose rhyming banter can get on your nerves right quick. But nothing distractingly out of place, like Gillian Anderson's horrid miscasting in PRINCESS MONONOKE. Vince DiCola provides a more than adequate score, and there's a host of (aptly enough) heavy-metal songs, among others, to round out the soundtrack.

Admittedly, this is a movie for fans of the series, and perhaps for animation fans in general. What always impressed me most was the leaps this movie took past the series, rather massive in their scope and, ultimately, very damaging when the show returned post-movie. But for the movie itself, I applaud its boldness. They didn't have to go as far as they did, and risk taking should always be applauded. It's a wonderful capper to the classic series, certainly a high-water mark. And it sure is a hell of a lotta fun to watch. Rent it, make some popcorn, hit play and get ready for some robotic blood 'n guts.

Review copyright 2002, The Visitor

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