XXX
'Shaken not stirred'? Just pass this guy the bottle.

Starring Vin Diesel, Asia Argento, Marton Csokas and Samuel L.Jackson. Directed by Rob Cohen, 2002.

For a long time now I've wondered what the point was in the continued existence of the James Bond film franchise. When he debuted in the sixties, Connery's Bond was truly and honestly pushing the boundaries of what you could get away with as far as sex and violence in action movies. Bond was edgy. Bond was dangerous.

In the new millenium however, hearing that familiar 007 musical refrain is equivalent to slapping a Steve and Eydie single in the old 8-track. Judi Dench was right, Bond IS a dinosaur, his movies being attended solely out of some sort of mass-nostalgia, a yearning for the 'good old days'. Bond should be the poster boy for fictional euthenasia and, lucky for us, big bad Vin Diesel has arrived to finally render the tired gentleman spy officially obsolete.

Loud, fast and inventive, XXX stars hulking Vin Diesel of PITCH BLACK and FAST AND THE FURIOUS fame as Xander Cage, an 'extreme' sports hero and just a bit of a social anarchist. We meet him as he's stealing and demolishing the hot wheels of a censor-happy politician, by driving it off a bridge with himself at the wheel. Suave and sophisticated he ain't, nor is he subtle.

This directness draws him to the attention of NSA director Robbins (a cold and clever Sam Jackson), who is in need of new ideas to complete an assignment. He recruits Cage (nicknamed triple X due to a series of tattoos on the back of his neck) in...unorthodox fashion, and before you can say Ian Fleming, the spy movie genre gets a radical facelift. Diesel is shipped off to Prague to make contact with a local crimelord played by Marton Csokas (a fine actor who might be best known on this side of the world for a guest stint on XENA as the father of her child) and his mysterious female aide (played by the painfully seductive Asia Argento).

Some fabulous stunt work and action set pieces follow, including one on a hillside that will make you forget all about any recent Bond attempts to make an exciting ski sequence. And of course, there are all the requisite spy movie gimmicks...Diesel is provided with his own personal 'Q', in this case an excitable pencil-pusher who delights in devising new ways to cause destruction. Just the sort of person ANY extreme sportsman would get off availing himself of, and triple X does just that. And naturally, there are beautiful ladies to spare

Before going any further, I should warn you all right now...Vin Diesel is NOT an actor. He is Vin Diesel. Love him or hate him. He acts in much the same way as Jackie Chan, by putting his own personality up there for all to see and hoping you like it. And while certainly a taste that may take some acquiring, you might want to consider it because I think he's gonna be around for a little while.

I hadn't expected that much from this movie, and was more than pleasantly surprised. For the first time in a LONG while, I was actually EXCITED during action sequences! They were thrilling, well-devised pieces that made me want them to go on forever. And despite Diesel's moderate skills as a thespian he still maages pretty well, making his over-the-top screen personage just human enough when it counts the most. And we've always got Jackson as the anchorman, and you can't get much better than that.

One thing though? The quips need serious work. Diesel's call line, 'Welcome to the Xander zone' leaves everything to be desired. Otherwise though, it's great to see someone come along and give the secret agent concept a much needed kick in the ass. Leave Bond to your grandparents, kids...Triple X ain't your Fathers secret agent..

Back to Rants and Reviews Main Menu

1