Did I mention that this film is truly hilarious? Well, it is - and sometimes, it's unintentionally so. Which is the best part.
Professor Rose Morgan (Babs) is a gifted academic and a great teacher of literature at Columbia University where she lectures to overflowing crowds of students rapturously besotted with her intelligence and gift of gab. Unfortunately, Rose is rather plump and has dark, sort-of mousy brown hair and glasses, and a HUGE complex about not being beautiful. Consequently, instead of dating her too-young-to-know-better students, she spends her evenings at home cancelling dates with kind but plain Barry Neufeld (the perennially anxious Austin Pendleton), and cooking scrumptious dinners for her acid-tongued mother Hannah (Lauren Bacall) and herself.
Professor Gregory Larkin (a brilliantly hilarious Jeff Bridges) is a math geek who's just written one of those books no one understands, entitled "Absolute Truth". At the launch party of his book, his ex-lover, Candace (an unflatteringly photographed Elle Macpherson) shows up and reduces him into a babbling mass of nervous tics. Against his friend, Henry's (George Segal in what amounts to a cameo role) advice, Gregory allows himself to be lured into empty sex with Candace, who promptly tells him that he's a nice guy, but dumps him all the same. See, Gregory has a problem with sexual desire - it's the stereotypical "math geek as sex machine" joke - in that wanting someone paralyses him. Of course, we the audience recognise this behaviour as his needing affection, and not mere sex, but geek that he is, Gregory remains oblivious to this. Frustrated that sex ruins all his relationships, he resolves to pursue a platonic relationship with an intellectual equal, and does so by putting out a personal ad (so clever!).
Meanwhile, Rose's (purportedly) beautiful OLDER sister, Claire (played by the younger and not that ravishing Mimi Rogers), marries Alex (the unflappable Pierce Brosnan), whom Rose once dated and for whom she still carries a torch for. At the wedding reception, Alex worriedly seeks out his bride, whilst Claire bristles at his possessiveness - for some strange reason, Rose finds all this rather inspiring, and finds it in herself to lecture on romantic literature by lampooning her own family. Unknown to her, Claire had replied to Gregory's ad on Rose's behalf, and he attends part of this lecture, leaving utterly enthraled with the articulate and rational being she seems to be - one who decries rousing music in romantic movies and who advocates the "courtly love" ethics of the twelfth century. He misses Rose's punchline: that in spite of the pitfalls and heartaches, love, "while it lasts ... feels f***ing great".
Soon, Gregory calls Rose and arranges for a date. Hannah helps Rose prepare for the night out, but her efforts go to waste as Gregory is only interested in Rose's mind (yeah, right) and couldn't care less about her appearance. Over dinner, he is charmed by Rose's perceptive nature, and her ability to understand the "twin prime conjecture" (beats me), as well as her peculiar eating habits. Rose herself also warms to Gregory's honest demeanour, and they agree to meet again. At the second meeting, Gregory expounds his new theory on relationships, based on that part of Rose's lecture he heard: that men and women today are too conditioned by society to over-emphasise sex in their relationship, so that they consequently ignore the meeting of souls and minds. Over time, the pair grow closer as friends, and things come to a head when Hannah badgers Gregory over a dinner Rose has prepared in honour of his birthday - that night, Gregory proposes a marriage without sex. Rose accepts and they kiss awkwardly.
After the wedding, they continue their platonic routine, until Gregory finds himself again being reduced to a nervous twit as he realises he loves Rose and wants her sexually. Rose, also in love with Gregory, and frustrated with his lack of response to her homely charms, attempts to seduce him, but he, being afraid of losing her mind and letting sex ruin another relationship he cares about, rejects her crudely. She leaves for the cold comfort of Hannah's apartment whilst Gregory leaves for a three-month European promotional blitz of his book (as an aside, I find this particular plot development rather insulting about European culture, don't you?).
Rose confronts Hannah about the latter's callous remarks about Rose's looks as a child which caused her to feel frumpy all her life, and Hannah finally concedes and tells her: "You were a pretty baby. You're still very pretty." (cue howls of laughter from audience - not at Babs' features, but at her audacity for engineering such a coup!) Rose decides to work out massively, and revamps her image drastically. Gregory returns to find a changed woman, and becomes frightened that he cannot resist her any longer. However, they get into a misunderstanding (and a strange man with a camera appears in the mirror reflection in this scene, I kid you not) and Rose declares that she no longer loves Gregory.
Claire leaves Alex, who seeks solace in Rose's arms. He coos: "You've changed - evolved....into a beautiful, sexy...woman", whereupon the audience tries hard not to barf (at such putrid lines). Meanwhile, Gregory comes undone as he realises that he cannot live without Rose, and hunts her down, causing a scene at her apartment. Snivelling and weeping, he sighs at Rose: "God, you're beautiful", and finally tells her: "I don't care if you're pretty, I love you anyway!". She relents and they kiss as the sound of Puccini fills the air.
Exactly why so many people hated this film, with one film reviewer actually calling it a "horrible film" over national TV, I don't quite know. Yes, Barbra Streisand is truly in her element here, what with the soft lenses caressing her features and the "inspiring" make-over scene, plus that "first look after the transformation" scene where she shyly smiles whilst the camera pans down her figure - it's all in here, yep! But, surely, these are not substantial reasons for the type of bile that has been expended over this movie? So she's vain - we knew that long ago. So she's got a hang-up about her looks and a mother complex - nothing we've not heard of. Get over all of this, and you'll realise that Streisand has competently made a very funny film based on the screwball comedies of Hepburn & Tracy. And for those people out there who think that the film sends out a negative message to women - watch the film carefully! As a story about a woman whose mind is attractive enough to make a previously hormone-driven and shallow man fall in love with her, but who also feels the need to come to terms with her own feelings about her looks (so she chose the crap methods of slimming down etc, big deal), I can't really find anything that should be cause for alarm really.
Richard LaGravenese's script is based on the old French movie, Le Miroir a Deux Faces (by Andre Cayatte), and it comes complete with verbose dialogue and some very witty exchanges. These days, it is rare to catch a film where the characters talk so much, but the punchlines come thick and fast here. LaGravenese no doubt had to do extensive rewrites in order to make the grade with Babs (just count how often she's told she's gorgeous), but the end product is not bad at all. What really gives the material so much sparkle is the standard of the performances.
Babs always was a good comedienne. Her frenetically charged performance as a kooky klutz in Peter Bogdonavich's What's Up Doc? (which incidentally featured a much younger Austin Pendleton as well) remains fresh and joyously rip-roaring till today. Here, she's adopted her jewish persona, spitting out her lines snappy and fast. Her line delivery and comic timing are still impeccable, and at her best moments, when she's not too self-conscious about the camera, she shines. Incidentally, ever since The Prince of Tides, I've been wondering if there's something terribly wrong with the right side of her face, but this film puts such doubts to rest: YES! You actually get to see BOTH sides of her face for the first time in years - that should be worth some of the ticket price, no?
George Segal, Brenda Vacarro, Austin Pendleton and Mimi Rogers all lend good support, with the former three veterans (and old friends of Babs) injecting the most they've got into under-written roles. Rogers, in the unique position of playing a character that bosses about Lauren Bacall AND Babs, wears a permanently bemused expression on her face which is funny in a sort-of creepy way. Not so good is Elle Macpherson, whose character might as well have been played by a mannequin, since she hardly registers a screen presence (possibly Babs "the director's" doing?). Pierce Brosnan, playing yet another strangely accented and suave gentleman, doesn't have to stretch very far from his Remington Steele persona to fill the shoes of his character. His routine has almost become too familiar to be broken, but in the context of the film's requirements, his performance is just right.
Lauren Bacall, making a return to the screen after thousands of years (probably heard Oscar calling - alas, she did not win), gives a very sly performance as the Monster Mother from Hell. Her best bits are when she isn't required to say anything at all, but just to give one of her withering looks. These alone raise a large percentage of the laughs in the film. Very credible and able support indeed, but I have to agree, it's not the sort of thing that wins Oscars.
Ultimately, it is Jeff Bridges' performance which really wins the day. Making his first return to comedy since 1991, he displays a hitherto untapped talent for broad physical comedy. He energetically tackles what could have been a very repulsive character, and makes it likable and sweet. This is another one of those unfussy performances he's noted for. Matching Babs blow for blow in witty repartee, he's also given the most amount of long speeches to recite, and these he delivers with aplomb, turning each one into a hilarious and unaffected sequence of laughs. He manages to toe the fine line between caricature and lukewarm delivery, and runs away with all his scenes. If you really need a reason to see this film, he is it. Unfortunately, his work was, as usual, ignored by those only too eager to savage the film and its director.
Mindless fun, this is a far cry from the overblown, overlong, insufferably maudlin and delusionally grandiose The Prince of Tides, probably one of the worst films to ever be nominated for anything at all. Babs seems to have wandered into a happier place this time, and her direction is light and breezy, if not entirely free from her control. Again, nothing seems especially spontaneous; even the dance routine Jeff and Babs do over the end credits seems choreographed and rehearsed - so she lacks a sense of adventure; so what? The Mirror Has Two Faces is a throwback to old-fashioned talkative comedies, updated with the sexual and romantic politics of the present day thrown in - on this basis, the film delivers many moments of lunacy and one truly inspired performance. Not a bad way to spend the time, I think.