HOW TO BREAK OUT OF THE V.A.
By H.M. Murdock
If you ever find yourself, like H.M, in the Psych. ward, and need to get out
in a hurry. Here's some of his favorite ways, plus the episodes he did it in.
(Mexican Slayride)---Have your friend come in and tell the Nurse "His Uncle's having a lobotomy".
(One More Time)-----When the orderly is explaining the soothing feeling of having a pet
open up all the cages, and make your escape through the kitchen when the kaos erupts.
(Black Day at Bad Rock)--Run out the front door as fast as you can, and have a getaway car waiting.
(Beast in the Belly of a Boeing)--Have yourself declared sane, even though your not.
(When You Coming Back Range Rider?)--Pretend your the western hero Range Rider, and when your friends turn off the electricity, sneak out the window with your trusty & invisible horse Thunder.
(Steel)----------Have your friend tell the Nurse that you were bitten by a rabid dog. Now you have rabies and are a mad dog.
(Bend in the River)--Make up a fake name and have that person 'just passed away'. Then volunteer to help carry out the casket, get in the casket and have the orderlies wheel you out.
(Sound of Thunder)--Have your friends turn off the lights, and then climb into bed and get into a blow up doll, when the orderlies think you have escape, then you escape.
(Showdown)---Flood the room with water and have your friend tell the Nurse that its radioactive.
(Small but Deadly War)--One word 'Tuberculosis"!
(Bounty)---Have some bounty hunters kidnap you.
(The Doctor is Out)--Have someone kidnap your psychiatrist, and during the melee, escape.
(Wheel of Fortune)--Have the CIA kidnap you.
(Members Only)---Have your psychiatrist take you to his country club.
(White Ballot)---When your friend comes in dressed like a Doctor and it dosen't work, run like the wind out the door to a waiting getaway van.
(Waiting for Insane Wayne)-Go for reclass testing to become an outpatient.
(Judgement Day)---Dig a tunnel from your room to the outside, where you have a friend waiting to take you away, just don't tunnel into the board room, full of Doctor's who are trying to decide if you are sane or not.
( )----Have your friend pretend he is with the government and that you have some top secret information that must not fall into enemy hands, so he must take you out for debriefing.
(Firing Line)--This one is for those of you who are very good. Go over the wall in a straight jacket!
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